As I mentioned in an earlier post, I hadn't posted pictures of my dress yet, since I was a little bit upset about it and trying not to think about it. Well, trying to not think about it isn’t working for me. So I figured writing it all out might help. After all, that's one of the benefits of writing a journal, right? (I apologize in advance for the length of this post!) I’m sure I’m just being a bit of a bridezilla and over-reacting about it and that everything will work out fine…but right now I’m a little worried about it. So here’s the whole dress story:
I went dress shopping with my mom back in January, in New Jersey. Since we naively didn’t make any appointments ahead of time, we were turned away from a lot of shops before finding one that had time to show me dresses that day. Once we did find one, the bridal shop owner there started by asking me a few questions about my wedding. I gave her the key details: Disney, September (hot!), English garden ceremony, etc. and described what I was looking for: A-line, strapless, lace, simple. Well, after that she just turned around and plucked a dress off the rack behind her: A-line, strapless, lace, perfect!
She also grabbed a couple other dresses she thought I might like (which I did--she was absolutely dead-on in reading me and determining my style.) When I put on the first dress, I made the beaming, “this is the one” face. Mom loved it, too. The only problem (in retrospect) was that I was absolutely swimming in the dress. They had to use these big clamps for excess fabric and it still had to be held on me, so I couldn’t really tell how well it’d fit. After trying on the other two, I put on the first dress a second time and said, yup, this is the one. So I was literally buying the first dress I tried on! Then I was measured so that the dress could be custom-made for me. I felt a little guilty about the cost, but mom really wanted me to get exactly the dress I wanted without worrying about the price.
So fast forward 6 months (the amount of time required to get the dress), and I’m back in New Jersey again for the 4th of July. When the dress comes in, I go for my first fitting with my mom and dad. Well, I put it on and mom and dad are happy and smiling and taking pictures. And I’m feeling happy to finally try on the dress without any clamps. Moving around in it is impossible, though, since it’s several inches too long (even with my 4-inch heels!) Also, the bustier I brought to wear underneath doesn’t work, since the bottom edge of it makes a line that’s visible through the fabric of the dress. So it looks like I’ll be going topless underneath (not really a problem since I’m far from top-heavy.) Overall, it seems to fit just fine.
The seamstress starts by gathering up fabric in the back and asking me what type of bustle I want. This is the first part that’s a little weird, since I had just assumed that that would have been something determined by the designer, not by me. And at this point, the shopowner/saleslady, her assistant, and my parents are all chatting together out in the showroom. I’m in a back fitting room with just the seamstress, but I figure that even if mom and dad were in there with me, they probably wouldn’t have opinions on the bustle anyway. So I just go with one of the options she shows me. Fine. Not a big deal.
Then she moves on to pinning up the bottom of the dress. The edge is scalloped lace, but she assures me that she can hem it in such a way that that will remain. While that’s happening, I start to look at the top of my dress more carefully. I spot a bit of the lace that’s hanging off (as if it’s been ripped) right in the center of the bodice. It’s detached from the dress by more than an inch, so it’s pretty obvious. Now, I can see that it’s a really easy problem to fix, but it still bothers me that this expensive, designer (Paloma Blanca) dress that took 6 months to make isn’t perfect. I don’t get upset or anything, though. I just point it out to the saleslady and the seamstress and ask that it be fixed. Nobody seems to think it’s a big deal. So that's fine.
Next, I notice that the scalloped lace edge along the top of the bodice isn’t quite right either. There’s a “bare” spot in which the satin underneath forms the top edge instead of the lace. I’m also feeling like the top is coming up too far. The lace is a little high under my underarms. (It’s brushing against them instead of lying underneath.) But what do I know about bridal gowns…maybe that’s just the way scalloped edges are? I’m also a little surprised about the height of the front. I had planned to wear pearls that my mom recently gave me, but they’re likely to drop down too far. And then I’m also wondering if the dress is as tight as it should be on the top. It’s certainly not going to fall down but at the same time, it doesn’t have that “fits like a glove” (or a glass slipper) feeling to it. As all of these little things are going through my head, I’m wishing I had someone else there who would inspect the dress critically. (My parents are still out in the showroom chatting with the salesgirls.) Instead, I just having everybody telling me that the dress is perfect.
But…I tell myself that I’m probably being overly picky and that none of this will show or look weird in the pictures. After all, the professional seamstress (who very much seems to know what she’s doing AND is from an independent bridal salon) has determined that the top fits perfectly. Only the bottom needs to be hemmed. And the dress was measured to fit, so it’s probably perfect. I’m just worrying for no good reason. Also, I tell myself, it’s a WEDDING dress. It’s probably not supposed to be as tight and low-cut as, say, a cocktail dress. So, in the end, the consensus is that since it’s only the length that’s being adjusted, I don’t really need a second fitting. My mom will just pick it up whenever it’s ready. But in the car, I ask my mom to please make sure to inspect it carefully for any problems like the hanging-off lace. I won’t be back to NJ again until August, when I return to put together all the welcome gifts.
That was last Tuesday (8 days ago). I was heading out to Austin (driving back) on Thursday. Wednesday evening dad gives me prints of the pictures he took at the fitting. Well, I expected to not look great in them, because the lighting in that back room wasn’t ideal, I’m in need of a haircut, and I wasn’t wearing any make-up. But I was surprised and upset that I was really not thrilled about how the dress looked. It’s not bad. It’s just a little blah. And it looks a little indented right in the middle of the bodice. Plus, I think it looks very different from the pictures on the designer's website, which is what I've been looking at for the past 6 months. (I’ll put all the pictures at the end…) Anyway, after looking at them over and over again up by myself in my bedroom, I finally go downstairs to where my parents are sitting and have a little meltdown.
I’m crying about the dress to mom and dad (and normally I’m a fairly rational, not overly emotional/dramatic person). And mom’s saying things like, “we can just get a new one” and “let’s go to the seamstress (who works in a different shop, about an hour north of my parents’ house) tomorrow to get it fixed” and stuff like that. But I don’t want a new dress, especially since it’d be really, really hard to find one that’d fit perfectly in such a short amount of time. AND, even more importantly, I feel like they’ve already spent way too much on my dress. I don’t want them to buy me yet another way-too-expensive dress. And I’m feeling really, really bad about my meltdown, because my parents are so sweet and wonderful and generous. I just want to really LOVE the dress, not feel like it's just o.k.
The other thing mom is saying is that it really does look perfect in person, that there was just weird lighting in that room that's causing it to look like there's a fold/wrinkle in the front. But she wants me to feel like my dress is perfect. She also points to the fabric on the throw pillow next to her that’s thick, like drapery and says that fabric like that, like my dress just isn’t as fitting. That it sort of stands on its own. And she keeps trying to talk me into postponing my departure and going back to the seamstress before I leave. But I’m already leaving about a week after I’d initially planned, since the dress came in a little later than I expected. And I haven’t seen DF in a few weeks and want to get back. She’s also telling me I should have one of my friends (who lives in L.A.) fly out to help by giving her opinion, which seems a bit excessive to me…
So… here’s the current situation. Mom isn’t going to just pick up the dress. We’re going to wait until I go back in August (7th-14th), so that I can try it on again and get the seamstress to make alterations if it isn’t just right. Like I said in the beginning, I’m sure I’m overreacting. I know people have much, much more serious “dress nightmares” than me. But I’m still worried that when I go back in August, it’ll still be just “fine” and that it’s not going to fit absolutely perfectly. That because I couldn’t tell exactly how it’d fit when I was originally trying it on with the clamps, it’s just not a dress that’s particularly flattering for me. And I know I should just stop worrying and wait until August, but it’s tough because at that point, there won’t be hardly any time left before my wedding.
Whew… that was a lot longer than I expected. On with the pictures. These are the two from the designer’s website:
In the second one, where it looks like the top is very fitted, mom said that maybe that’s why she’s lying on her back. That it wouldn’t look that fitted if she was standing up. Mom has also said that maybe when the length of my dress is adjusted, and I don’t have all that extra weight pulling it down, the top will fit better on me.
Now here’s the dress on me. That’s my mom next to me in the first picture. The second picture isn’t great because I’m hiding the waist with my arms. Also, note that these were taken before the length was adjusted/pinned.