Zoom funeral

[butterscotchcollins]

Also no advice to share but just my condolences on your loss

 

[robinb]

Thanks, everyone for your support. I'm pretty fried right now. My sister is flying in from out of state tomorrow. My mom doesn't even know yet. Her Dr sent her to the ER today because of an infection in her ankle and has been admitted to the hospital. I'm going to visit her during visiting hours to tell her. I was able to have an emergency phone session with my psychologist tonight which helped and I've talked to some of my friends. One of my cousins is calling the extended family. My dad didn't go to church so we weren't planning to do it there. My cousin is self quarantining so that's why we're doing it via Zoom.

{{hugs}} My step father died while my mom was hospitalized and in a coma. I had to tell her. It was awful. I'm sending love and strength to you.

 

[fla4fun]

I don’t have any advice. I just want to say I am sorry you are going through this.

 

[tcufrog]

Thanks for everyone's support. I saw my mom in the hospital today and told her. She looked so lost afterwards. She is on the same hospital floor as my dad so the nurses are working out a way for them to see each other before he leaves the hospital.

I spoke with my cousin and we've worked out a tentative schedule for the Zoom service. Here it is:

1. Slideshow with photos and music
2. I will say a few words.
3. My cousin will read a scripture and give a short homily.
4. My cousin Lanny who grew up with him will hopefully speak.
5. His best friend will hopefully speak.
6. ???
7. We will raise our glasses in a toast to my dad. He loved German riesling so much that my dad and mom would visit wineries in Germany and ship crates of it home.
8. My cousin will give a closing prayer.

Does anyone have feedback for me?

 

[Kitty 34]

Gosh, I wish I could help you Tcufrog with all this Tech part but I can't so I will just send you many cyber for the coming days!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm so sorry. I lost my dad last year and know exactly how it feels. My son was away at college at the time, so I had him on Facetime for the burial. He was able to see and hear the service just fine. He was able to fly out the following month to attend the memorial mass in person.

My aunt (dad's sister) passed away in April. Her kids are planning to hold a memorial mass and family gathering for her as soon as it's safe. There are really no ideal options right now. You can only do your best. Hugs.

 

[GreatLakes]

Sorry to hear OP. My grandma died early in this pandemic and we didn't really have a funeral for her. A small gathering of her kids was at the funeral home and then a few family members spaced out around her grave. We will do a mass and memorial for her when this is all over.

What kind of info do you need? I have never done a funeral via Zoom but have set up other kids of zoom presentations.

The biggest thing to think about is the sound. If you are using a laptop it will likely have a hollow sound and if it is older might not pick up anything from further away. Remember to turn off mirroring in Zoom if there is any writing in the background.

 

[TLSnell1981]

My father is dying (not COVID) and has days left. An in person funeral is a no go right now so we're going to have to do it via Zoom. I've spoken to my cousin (he's a retired minister) who is performing the funeral and he's never done one via Zoom. I was wondering if anyone here has had the unfortunate experience of attending one and had some feedback for us. We already have access to a commercial account so that's not an issue.

I am so so sorry you are experiencing this...especially now.

Unfortunately I have attended several funerals in the last few months. They were in person not via Zoom. All but one funeral home required masks and another limited the number of mourners. They only allowed 10 in the room at a time.

 

[JimMIA]

Thanks for everyone's support. I saw my mom in the hospital today and told her. She looked so lost afterwards. She is on the same hospital floor as my dad so the nurses are working out a way for them to see each other before he leaves the hospital.

I spoke with my cousin and we've worked out a tentative schedule for the Zoom service. Here it is:

1. Slideshow with photos and music
2. I will say a few words.
3. My cousin will read a scripture and give a short homily.
4. My cousin Lanny who grew up with him will hopefully speak.
5. His best friend will hopefully speak.
6. ???
7. We will raise our glasses in a toast to my dad. He loved German riesling so much that my dad and mom would visit wineries in Germany and ship crates of it home.
8. My cousin will give a closing prayer.

Does anyone have feedback for me?

Sounds perfect, and hopefully your Mom can get to see him.

We're all sorry for your loss, and send prayers and best wishes.

 

[mommasita]

I’m so sorry for Your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

 

[DisTXMom]

I would also lean toward a livestream (one way) vs Zoom (2 way). Dealing with everyone (Well wishing) at a funeral of a parent is very hard. Doing it virtually makes my head hurt. Reflecting on my mother’s funeral, I would have been way too rattled to be able to hear what people were saying online, trying to respond, be on camera- all of that would have been too much. The loss and service alone will take all you’ve got. Prayers for things to go smoothly. Very sorry you have to go through this.

 

[tcufrog]

Thanks for the advice. I will discuss Livestream vs Zoom with my DH. He has a lot of experience with Zoom for work so he may have some ideas. I plan to ask him to deal with the technical aspect of the service since he's quite good at it and that would take something off my shoulders.

My dad went home last night and my sister arrived last night from GA. My mom is still in the hospital and is hoping to be discharged today. My sister and I visited my dad today and he's in a lot of pain. I am extremely angry at the hospital. Not only did they not send my dad home with a prescription for pain medicine, but they didn't send the discharge papers to the hospice agency like they said they would. To make matters worse, they didn't remove a piece of equipment from my dad that hospice instructed them to removed (wound vac). Hospice can't care for him is it's still on him. I'm giving the home he's in and the hospice agency an hour to try to investigate this before I call for an update.

 

[lanejudy]

DH attended a Zoom funeral this spring. It was in a church but the funeral home might have coordinated it. I believe Zoom allows for the host or “presenter” to mute all attendees. It is essentially the same as a live stream.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.