Would you leave your 12-year old alone in hotel room?

[lemondog]

I guess the whole feeling that OP thinks they "have" to go out without the kids while on vacation is what I find interesting. I look at it as if I "had" to leave my child alone just to go to dinner, I wouldn't go.

Wow, that is awfully presumptious of you. Where did I ever say we HAD to go out on a date night? As I stated in a later post, which I guess you did not read, my kids have always BEGGED us for an evening at Neverland Club which we took as an opportunity to go out to dinner alone. However I was under the impression 12-year olds are too old to go, so was pondering the idea of letting DD have a little alone time in the hotel room while we went out because when I told her she was too told for Neverland Club she said she WANTS us to go out so she can have a little alone time. Seriously, what made you assume I am forcing my kid to stay alone all by her lonesome while we INSIST on going out and having a good time? I would love to know the answer.

 

[Lionqueen2]

We left our boys at 10 and 12 together at HOME when we went out occasionally, but IMHO, as I've stated previously, a hotel is a different matter as is a family vacation. It's not like a vacation is the only time they can go out without the kids. Just because it's Disney doesn't make it safer than any other hotel. I do not think looking at this objectively makes anyone paranoid. We have an adult family member who was robbed at gunpoint in a nice hotel a few years ago in his room. It does happen. My issue with this also is that the girl would be by herself. If she had siblings (or a friend) with her it would be a little different. 12 year olds don't always make good judgement calls. And, yes, my boys were mature for their age, just as almost every parent says. 12 year olds are only as mature as a 12 year old can be.

I guess the whole feeling that OP thinks they "have" to go out without the kids while on vacation is what I find interesting. I look at it as if I "had" to leave my child alone just to go to dinner, I wouldn't go.

This would be my concern. Disney or not, the Orlando area has many tourists and it is not uncommon for them to be assaulted or robbed in their hotel rooms. If adults can be fooled to open hotel doors, so can a child.

While most 12 years olds are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and babysitting in their own homes or neighborhoods in familiar surroundings,
a hotel is a different matter.

That said, everyone is different and each parent is certainly entitled to do what they feel is best for themselves and their children.

 

[lemondog]

OP, what are you concerned might happen?

Honestly, I don't know what might happen. Which is why I posed the question. I have never left her alone in a hotel room but she has been left alone at home, even babysitting her siblings, so I would imagine it wouldn't be all that different. I would not feel comfortable letting her roam so she would definitely be confined to the room and I know she would not answer the door to anyone so I feel very confident she would be safe. BTW she does know the Poly very well as it is where we always stay, but I still would not allow her to roam if we were not on the property.

All that said, a couple of posters here mentioned that the clubs accomodated their older kids so I will call and see if that is an option. If it is, I will let her know and see if she would rather do that. If so, problem solved! If she still likes the idea of staying alone for a while then my husband and I will have to decide what to do. Thanks again everyone who offered helpful input!

 

[awoogala]

Wow, that is awfully presumptious of you. Where did I ever say we HAD to go out on a date night? As I stated in a later post, which I guess you did not read, my kids have always BEGGED us for an evening at Neverland Club which we took as an opportunity to go out to dinner alone. However I was under the impression 12-year olds are too old to go, so was pondering the idea of letting DD have a little alone time in the hotel room while we went out because when I told her she was too told for Neverland Club she said she WANTS us to go out so she can have a little alone time. Seriously, what made you assume I am forcing my kid to stay alone all by her lonesome while we INSIST on going out and having a good time? I would love to know the answer.

I would have assumed the other way. I don't know many 12 year old girls who wouldn't ask for time away when they got a chance. Especially from 24 hours a day in a small hotel room with siblings.
Heck, I would like it!

 

[shoney]

Wow, that is awfully presumptious of you. Where did I ever say we HAD to go out on a date night? As I stated in a later post, which I guess you did not read, my kids have always BEGGED us for an evening at Neverland Club which we took as an opportunity to go out to dinner alone. However I was under the impression 12-year olds are too old to go, so was pondering the idea of letting DD have a little alone time in the hotel room while we went out because when I told her she was too told for Neverland Club she said she WANTS us to go out so she can have a little alone time. Seriously, what made you assume I am forcing my kid to stay alone all by her lonesome while we INSIST on going out and having a good time? I would love to know the answer.

Because you are clearly a horrible mother and wife. You actually enjoy alone time with your husband. You have raised independent children who enjoy time away from you.

Just kidding!

 

[dogluva]

We left our boys at 10 and 12 together at HOME when we went out occasionally, but IMHO, as I've stated previously, a hotel is a different matter as is a family vacation. It's not like a vacation is the only time they can go out without the kids. Just because it's Disney doesn't make it safer than any other hotel. I do not think looking at this objectively makes anyone paranoid. We have an adult family member who was robbed at gunpoint in a nice hotel a few years ago in his room. It does happen. My issue with this also is that the girl would be by herself. If she had siblings (or a friend) with her it would be a little different. 12 year olds don't always make good judgement calls. And, yes, my boys were mature for their age, just as almost every parent says. 12 year olds are only as mature as a 12 year old can be.

I guess the whole feeling that OP thinks they "have" to go out without the kids while on vacation is what I find interesting. I look at it as if I "had" to leave my child alone just to go to dinner, I wouldn't go.

Maybe they just "want" to. Sheesh. We spent ten days in Disney. I did not feel one bit guilty going out for a few hours with just my husband. Your view of a 12 year old is different from mine I guess. By 12, I feel that they are old enough to stay alone regardless of being in a hotel room or not. Whatever, I parent differently than my friend do, maybe because my oldest is 24 and he is alive and well. I just refuse to dangerize the whole world because of a random event I heard about on the news or a friend of a friend.

 

[dogluva]

I wouldn't only because I think it's unfair to stick a kid in a room by themselves for a few hours while everybody else is off somewhere having fun. My DD is 11 and very trustworthy but if DH and I were out to dinner and her siblings were off at the neverland club having fun and she was told to stay in the room and watch movies she's be pretty upset.

I don't know if my kids would be. They like time to themselves sometimes, especially after a lot of togetherness. Plus they know, hopefullly and some more than others, that the world does not revolve around them.

 

[Bluestars]

Yes, I would leave a 12 yr old in a Disney hotel room alone. She could put the chain or door lock on the door and I would tell her not to open it for anyone. If someone knocked and said they were with the hotel, she would have to call me first. The odds of that would be slim to none though. I think she'd be perfectly safe in a hotel room.

 

[StephMK]

I would rather leave my kids together than one alone. However, DD12 would be perfectly comfortable by herself. I would probably go to a restaurant on the resort but not venture far away. While I know she'd be fine, I would not feel entirely comfortable being farther away in an unfamiliar place.

 

[horseshowmom]

And some kids would love to be by themselves and find the idea of a kids club at the age of 12 to be excruciating.

Frankly, I am more amused by the people who are up in arms at the idea of a date night on vacation. The HORROR!

Agreed. I think some people make their children the center of their universe. It may be a family vacation, but mom and dad should be the center of that family. There is not one thing wrong with taking a little time for themselves. We made lots of sacrifices for our daughter but taking a couple of hours for dinner is not mistreating the children. Further, it's presenting a good role model for their children to see that the parents want to spend some time alone.

Wow, that is awfully presumptious of you. Where did I ever say we HAD to go out on a date night? As I stated in a later post, which I guess you did not read, my kids have always BEGGED us for an evening at Neverland Club which we took as an opportunity to go out to dinner alone. However I was under the impression 12-year olds are too old to go, so was pondering the idea of letting DD have a little alone time in the hotel room while we went out because when I told her she was too told for Neverland Club she said she WANTS us to go out so she can have a little alone time. Seriously, what made you assume I am forcing my kid to stay alone all by her lonesome while we INSIST on going out and having a good time? I would love to know the answer.

Because you are clearly a horrible mother and wife. You actually enjoy alone time with your husband. You have raised independent children who enjoy time away from you.

Just kidding!

 

[luvmy3]

I cannot believe how many people "aren't comfortable" with this!

There is .000001% chance that something will 'happen' while your child is locked in a hotel room.

Give the kid some independence. If you don't want her to leave the room, then say so. Just make sure she doesn't fall asleep while leaving the deadbolt locked!

I admit that I am not comfortable with it, but don't mistake that for my kids having a lack of independence. I don't need to leave them alone in a hotel room in order to give them that

Agreed. I think some people make their children the center of their universe. It may be a family vacation, but mom and dad should be the center of that family. There is not one thing wrong with taking a little time for themselves. We made lots of sacrifices for our daughter but taking a couple of hours for dinner is not mistreating the children. Further, it's presenting a good role model for their children to see that the parents want to spend some time alone.

I don't see the big deal about parents wanting a date night, but for me it wouldn't be during my family vacation. We plan a family vacation to spend time together as a whole. We have our own time (each and every one of us) during our regular daily lives. Family vacation is just that for us, a family vacation. Dh and I don't need to present ourselves as good role models by doing a date night during that vacation, we've spent our lives being good role models to our kids. In fact, I'd argue that making sure a family vacation is spent as a family has done that

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I admit that I am not comfortable with it, but don't mistake that for my kids having a lack of independence. I don't need to leave them alone in a hotel room in order to give them that



I don't see the big deal about parents wanting a date night, but for me it wouldn't be during my family vacation. We plan a family vacation to spend time together as a whole. We have our own time (each and every one of us) during our regular daily lives. Family vacation is just that for us, a family vacation. Dh and I don't need to present ourselves as good role models by doing a date night during that vacation, we've spent our lives being good role models to our kids. In fact, I'd argue that making sure a family vacation is spent as a family has done that

Agree with all of this! My kids have grown into very independent young men and they didnt stay alone in hotel rooms to acheive that!

For us family vacations are for all of us to be together. Maybe we are the rare family that all gets along, but the kids never felt like they needed a break from us and we usually stay at Disney for a full two weeks.

Dates are important, I just wouldnt bother on vacation, but thats just me. My kids are almost 17 and almost 20, so our days of family vacations are winding down. I dont regret not having date nights when they were growing up. Pretty soon they will be gone and we will be able to have every night be a date night!

OP, you know your family best. If your daughter wants to hang out in the hotel room by herself and you feel that she is safe then I think you have your answer! Hope you have the best vacation!

 

[horseshowmom]

I don't see the big deal about parents wanting a date night, but for me it wouldn't be during my family vacation. We plan a family vacation to spend time together as a whole. We have our own time (each and every one of us) during our regular daily lives. Family vacation is just that for us, a family vacation. Dh and I don't need to present ourselves as good role models by doing a date night during that vacation, we've spent our lives being good role models to our kids. In fact, I'd argue that making sure a family vacation is spent as a family has done that

I understand your point and don't see a problem with it if that's what you wish. As I said in an earlier post, sometimes we did things on our own and sometimes we didn't. The year Disney MGM opened, we brought our niece with us to babysit because we wanted to go by ourselves. We had a wonderful time, and it was something we couldn't have done at home. My daughter and niece went with us everywhere else.

The only problem I have with some of the posts is that they act like there's something wrong with the OP for wanting to have a date night on vacation. I don't see that a couple of hours out of the vacation is a problem. Generally, vacation is visiting a different location with different options from home. I can see enjoying a nice dinner out. I don't fault someone for choosing not to have a date night, but I don't think there is anything wrong with the OP choosing to have one.

Agree with all of this! My kids have grown into very independent young men and they didnt stay alone in hotel rooms to acheive that!

For us family vacations are for all of us to be together. Maybe we are the rare family that all gets along, but the kids never felt like they needed a break from us and we usually stay at Disney for a full two weeks.

Dates are important, I just wouldnt bother on vacation, but thats just me. My kids are almost 17 and almost 20, so our days of family vacations are winding down. I dont regret not having date nights when they were growing up. Pretty soon they will be gone and we will be able to have every night be a date night!

OP, you know your family best. If your daughter wants to hang out in the hotel room by herself and you feel that she is safe then I think you have your answer! Hope you have the best vacation!

I don't remember the OP saying she wanted to leave her daughter in a hotel room to help her become independent. And I don't remember her saying that the child was in need of a break from the family (it's definitely not unusual for a child that age to enjoy a little time by themselves).

As for the winding down part, my daughter is 25, and we generally vacation together at least once a year, sometimes more. In fact, we're leaving after Christmas for the beach.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I don't remember the OP saying she wanted to leave her daughter in a hotel room to help her become independent. And I don't remember her saying that the child was in need of a break from the family (it's definitely not unusual for a child that age to enjoy a little time by themselves).

As for the winding down part, my daughter is 25, and we generally vacation together at least once a year, sometimes more. In fact, we're leaving after Christmas for the beach.

No, I dont believe the OP ever said that either! Although, I havent read the whole thread! I was responding to another thread talking about independence. Somone else mentioned that their kid would LOVE the chance to hang out on their own. I didnt realize I could only respond to the OP, I thought lots of people were discussing a variety of ideas........ I was only sharing about our family as I thought others had shared about theirs.......

I too hope to vacation with my kids for a long, long time. I, myself, vacationed with my folks every year at Disney until my Dad passed when I was 37. Since then my Mom has joined us on over a dozen vacations. I do hope that they always want to vacation with us, but realistically, they will have jobs and families and I am sure my husband and I will have many vacations without them.

Did you notice my last comment to the OP? I even wished her a great vacation.

To each their own.

 

[luvmy3]

I understand your point and don't see a problem with it if that's what you wish. As I said in an earlier post, sometimes we did things on our own and sometimes we didn't. The year Disney MGM opened, we brought our niece with us to babysit because we wanted to go by ourselves. We had a wonderful time, and it was something we couldn't have done at home. My daughter and niece went with us everywhere else.

The only problem I have with some of the posts is that they act like there's something wrong with the OP for wanting to have a date night on vacation. I don't see that a couple of hours out of the vacation is a problem. Generally, vacation is visiting a different location with different options from home. I can see enjoying a nice dinner out. I don't fault someone for choosing not to have a date night, but I don't think there is anything wrong with the OP choosing to have one.

ITA, one family's way of vacationing does not need to be how another does theirs. I know when we go somewhere we try to make sure we each do something we really want to. For some families that may mean a date night for a mom and dad, nothing wrong with that.

 

[horseshowmom]

No, I dont believe the OP ever said that either! Although, I havent read the whole thread! I was responding to another thread talking about independence. Somone else mentioned that their kid would LOVE the chance to hang out on their own. I didnt realize I could only respond to the OP, I thought lots of people were discussing a variety of ideas........ I was only sharing about our family as I thought others had shared about theirs.......

I too hope to vacation with my kids for a long, long time. I, myself, vacationed with my folks every year at Disney until my Dad passed when I was 37. Since then my Mom has joined us on over a dozen vacations. I do hope that they always want to vacation with us, but realistically, they will have jobs and families and I am sure my husband and I will have many vacations without them.

Did you notice my last comment to the OP? I even wished her a great vacation.

To each their own.

And that's my point as well.

 

[horseshowmom]

ITA, one family's way of vacationing does not need to be how another does theirs. I know when we go somewhere we try to make sure we each do something we really want to. For some families that may mean a date night for a mom and dad, nothing wrong with that.

Absoultely!

 

[Planogirl]

I once took DS to the Neverland Club twice during a trip, once so I could eat dinner with my mother at a more adult restaurant and once because he begged to go back. I'm really an awful Mom.

I still didn't see where the OP asked if she should go out on a date night or not....

 

[Diet Dr Chill]

Because you are clearly a horrible mother and wife. You actually enjoy alone time with your husband. You have raised independent children who enjoy time away from you.

Just kidding!

Confessions:

On Thursday, I let my 81 month old go to the bathroom at McDonald's without me. I know that rapists make up 99% of McDonald's customers and she could have also fell in the toilet and drowned if I weren't there to watch. I beg you better parents for forgiveness.

 

[Ppufi]

Some people on this thread! The girl is 12, not 5. She can definitely handle herself in her hotel/hotel room at that age.