What's your Threshold for Taking Kids out of School

[Gumbo4x4]

We've never done it & never would for Disney. But, for something that couldn't be done during a break, I'd consider it. Definitely not after 6th grade though.

 

[sharona]

so happy to hear this. we are planning a surprise trip for our kids next month. i'm worried about being judged by their teachers and staff at school. i've been trying to figure out how to tell the school and teachers we will be gone. our school has a policy they won't give work ahead of time. i have one in high school and one in middle school. they are avg students that barely miss any time. i have guilt for taking them out. at the same time in my head i tell myself, they are my kids, i know what they can handle. life is too short and precious, and if this is the only time we can get away, it should be my decision without harsh judgement! i just hope they don't have to pay the price of the school judging.

Not letting them make up work is one thing, judging children or treating them harshly for a decision that the parents make is just wrong. You just have to accept that not everyone will agree with you on this issue and that's OK!

Re figuring out how to tell the school, in the past I have always advised the teacher(s) via an email:

Dear Teacher,
I wanted to let you know that X will be traveling from X-X dates and won't be in class. She will have her laptop with her and access to the school website and will spend some time each day doing schoolwork. If there is any work that X can do in advance or take with her to do while we are away so that she doesn't fall too far behind, please let us know. I understand that this is an inconvenience and we appreciate any flexibility you can allow in submitting missed work. Thank you for your time and attention to this request. My cell phone number is below and I'm available at your convenience if you wish to discuss in more detail.

Sincerely,
X


I'd love to have DD discuss this directly with her teachers but I find it gets a better response when I do it myself.

That's it. I then call the school absentee line the night before we leave and advise them that DD will be out until X date, I do not state a reason. This is a recorded line that never has a live person answering so no one to ask for more info. On her return she has to bring in an absence note to her homeroom teacher. I write that she was traveling with family. It's an unexcused absence and it is up to the teachers whether or not they allow any missed work to be made up. Illness is also unexcused at our schools unless accompanied by a doctor's note. Many teachers will allow them to make up the work but not for full credit. Most will cut them by at least one grade on missed project/test deadlines and give only half credit for missed homework/classwork.

This year, the school parent/teacher conferences are a few weeks before our trip so I may just address it then with the individual teachers in person instead of via email. I'm sure I'll get some grief, especially from one teacher in particular this year, but I'm willing to stand by my decision.

 

[Lori74]

Not letting them make up work is one thing, judging children or treating them harshly for a decision that the parents make is just wrong. You just have to accept that not everyone will agree with you on this issue and that's OK!

Re figuring out how to tell the school, in the past I have always advised the teacher(s) via an email:

Dear Teacher,
I wanted to let you know that X will be traveling from X-X dates and won't be in class. She will have her laptop with her and access to the school website and will spend some time each day doing schoolwork. If there is any work that X can do in advance or take with her to do while we are away so that she doesn't fall too far behind, please let us know. I understand that this is an inconvenience and we appreciate any flexibility you can allow in submitting missed work. Thank you for your time and attention to this request. My cell phone number is below and I'm available at your convenience if you wish to discuss in more detail.

Sincerely,
X


I'd love to have DD discuss this directly with her teachers but I find it gets a better response when I do it myself.

That's it. I then call the school absentee line the night before we leave and advise them that DD will be out until X date, I do not state a reason. This is a recorded line that never has a live person answering so no one to ask for more info. On her return she has to bring in an absence note to her homeroom teacher. I write that she was traveling with family. It's an unexcused absence and it is up to the teachers whether or not they allow any missed work to be made up. Illness is also unexcused at our schools unless accompanied by a doctor's note. Many teachers will allow them to make up the work but not for full credit. Most will cut them by at least one grade on missed project/test deadlines and give only half credit for missed homework/classwork.

This year, the school parent/teacher conferences are a few weeks before our trip so I may just address it then with the individual teachers in person instead of via email. I'm sure I'll get some grief, especially from one teacher in particular this year, but I'm willing to stand by my decision.

thank you so much! yes i thought of getting a hold of their teachers, just saying we are traveling seems so much better than "we're going to disney world!". i don't know why. our conferences are a couple of weeks after we go, so i'm sure i'll see what teachers think of my decision. i'm trying to stay in contact about every day things with some teachers, so hopefully they know i am involved and do care about school. i don't know why i care so much (about what they think), i guess i do worry how it will affect my kids overall. you're right they shouldn't take it out on kids who have no say on being gone. thanks so much for the advice! i appreciate it!

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

Our kids missed three days of school for our 2013 Disney trip (they were in preschool, kindergarten, and fifth grade at the time) and didn't miss a beat. We were planning to go back this upcoming May and travel on a week where they would have a teacher inservice day off and only miss four days but we are now getting cold feet about doing that. Our school age kids are now in first grade, third grade, and eighth grade and the academics/workload is definitely much more intense than it was a couple years ago. There are times when I feel like my 3rd grader has as much homework as my 8th grader ! Unfortunately, because we have long summer breaks we don't get a fall break or even a real spring break. We get a few three day weekends, a couple days off for Thanksgiving, about a week and a half off for Christmas/New Year, and usually three days for Easter (sometimes less than that if there are snow make up days ). So there isn't really a time for us to do a Disney vacation during the "off-peak" times without pulling our kids out for a few days at minimum. Our school district is actually pretty good about allowing kids to miss school for vacations as we know many families (even at the middle school) that pull their kids for trips to Disney, cruises, Europe, ski trips, etc. but we just aren't completely sure it would be the right choice for our kids at this point.

 

[Frozen2014]

I am a teacher and have been in education for almost 20 years. I am about to take my boys (11 and 7) out of school for a week in November. Most affordable time for me and I would never want to fight crowds and heat in Summer. Anyway, I think there is nothing in the world wrong with them missing school. It is my experience that educators take things WAAYYY too seriously and that life is too short to worry about a week of school vs memories that will last a lifetime. Just my opinion. Lots dont agree with me, I understand that. I just think that, at the end of the day, there will never be a time that I say, "you know... my son is really struggling in life now because of that week of school he missed back in 2015" I did it 2 years ago as well, and no one remembers what was missed in school. Their grades didnt change that semester, and even if they had...big deal. I can tell you we talk about that trip every day and it is a special time that meant more to all of us than anything. Sorry... this is a bit of a sore subject with me...as you can probably imagine, I have had this conversation several times before.... Have fun!

This is great to hear from a teacher her/himself. I'm with you, that special memories last a lifetime and often non-peak times are the best to go (price, crowds, weather). As mentioned in my Original Post, I am ok taking them out, but DH feels stronger about that...but I do respect that. Perhaps when we are more serious about our next trip in a few years, we'll tie it into a holiday such as taking them out a few days early (which probably only helps from airline cost). I'm ok going last week in the summer as I like the heat, but DH hates it when it's above 80 degrees, so not sure how he'd manage when its much higher. As mentioned, the parks are crowded with kids all year round, so obviously there are many families that do chose to.

PS - We do have a trip planned for the upcoming April and will be taking them out for a week. One child is in grade 5 and the other grade 1.

 

[ForeverAlice]

We like going in May and take our son (9) out to do so. He has always been able to make up his work though and does not mind the make up work. We will continue to take him out for vacation. We enjoy the low crowds and less stress/better weather as well. To each his or her own.

 

[scuba]

There is no right or wrong answer here. Just returned from 5 days in the Orlando and Clearwater area for 20th wedding anniversary and vow renewal and children left and returned on the fly, hit the ground running and in some instances excelled upon their return. Not a recommendation and perhaps we just got lucky, our children attend a private Christian school and we are "one of those families" that pull their children out. If you have children that need any type of intervention then I would suggest refraining from pulling your children out however in our case there doesn't seem to be any repercussions from our behavior.

 

[4Mickeys]

I took my kids out for 8 days last year for our trip to DL from Australia - the last 8 days of term 3 right before our September/October school break. Timing of the time out is probably key as they get older and the workload increases my oldest was in year 8 when we travelled. Towards the end of terms they shouldn't miss much of the curriculum because most of it will have been taught already but you just need to be aware of when any exams may be. My son had to make up one maths exam when we came back but really this was likely our one and only time to travel to DL so to me it all balanced out.

 

[gr8leg8]

DD is in 8th grade. Our school has an independent study options for absences of 5 days or more.
Homework and Disney are not a good mix for our family.
The school has pulled her out of class for Advance Drama field trip to see a musical, peer mediator training, and leadership conference.

When she was in 2nd grade - we took the week before spring break.
That was a good compromise for us. No homework at Disney and a week to complete the packet before returning to school.

 

[Jewel3k]

I'm not sure when we will stop taking the kids out of school for Disney. Everyone values things differently. We very much value our children's education, but we also know that traveling in September is what is best for our family. Thankfully our school district respects and works with us for vacations. Last year we took them out in 4th, 2nd and kindergarten. The 4th grader felt overwhelmed by the work, but would choose to make it up and go to Disney again in a heartbeat. My daughter missed the month of May this year at school due to illness and I learned as important as in class instruction is I know I am quite capable of making up the work with them at home.

 

[maciec]

Where we live and work is a beach town so taking summer vacations is out of the question. Our employers don't allow it because it's our busy work time. Our county school board recognizes this and each student is provided 10 days of "family harmony" and it is excused. Now with that being said this is the last year that my dd will be taken out of school. She is a freshman this year and as of January will be in the bio-med STEM program where she just can't miss school as easily as she use to. I also have a 7th grader and one that is in Pre-K. We are going to have to tweak our vacations somehow.

 

[monorailsilver]

We have been going to FL for the past 3 Aprils since my sister moved to Ft. Myers. Our school calendar has 2 built in snow days the Monday and Tuesday after April vacation and a 1/2 day before.

The first year we drive and left on Friday am missing the half day, then we drive home and left in the following Friday evening vs Saturday am and made it to Jacksonville....hey we had to stop in DtD for dinner! My kids not only missed that Friday but it was the year of hurricanes and snow causing lots of make up days, I think they only had 2 days off that April. I felt bad but their teachers gave them work, aka writing and reading and math work sheets and they were jealous.

The next yr we took the auto train and left of Friday, the half day, arrived on Saturday but took advantage of those snow make up days which well it snowed so there was school. They missed 3 days.

This past April, we again left on the 1/2 day and returned on the Monday vs the Tuesday so they only missed 1.5 days.

For 2016, we doing the same as above so they will only miss 1.5 days.

I really don't like them to miss much especially since my oldest is in HS but I think of it as a sick day. My kids are rarely sick. I think if my son and younger dtr did not miss those days in April they would of had perfect attendance. The same for my oldest but she left school early a few times for twisted ankle, concussion...

 

[Baklava]

So here's a question- before jr high we never had grades. We had progress reports but nothing like letter grades. If your kid is below the age of letter grades, do you even need to worry about them "making up" assignments? I mean, read the chapter, learn the skills, keep up with class, sure but what's the advantage of stressing out over specific assignments being turned in? Looking back at when my older kid attended school, I cannot think of a single advantage he'd have had "making up" worksheets and assignments after a vacation. Even in jr. high, grades are a way of measuring success, but not an actual important thing in and of themselves. Unless your kid will freak over a B instead of an A (I would have.) is there a point at which you just shrug and go, "eh?"

 

[Mickeypooh99]

We have done it many times. Yes we do it for lower crowds. Our school allows it and I make no apology for it. My kids have always been perfectly fine. Last year my boys were in grade 7 and grade 9. My oldest ended with a 4.0 so I don't think it hurt him one bit. My youngest isn't a 4.0 student. He did just fine and had one of his best quarters that time. They each missed 5 days the week after thanksgiving.

 

[sullyfam]

Lots of variables as others have mentioned. It depends on the child, the age, the teacher, the time of year, the school district and personal preference.

Having said that, last year was the first time we took our oldest out of school for Disney. He was in the 2nd grade. I actually regretted it afterwards due to the fact that it stressed him out and also, his teacher was not great with communicating what he missed so we played catch up for a week or two. I don't think I even got homework until I was in 5th or 6th grade but nowadays things are different and the expectations even for really young kids seem to be pretty high.

Now that we have 2 kids in school (and a 3rd that will be eventually), we will be going during the summer on our next trip. For us at this point in time I think its just easier. We went in summer the trip before last and I actually preferred it to the fall trip. In the future we might consider taking them out for a few days but we probably wouldn't ever do a full school week again.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

So here's a question- before jr high we never had grades. We had progress reports but nothing like letter grades. If your kid is below the age of letter grades, do you even need to worry about them "making up" assignments? I mean, read the chapter, learn the skills, keep up with class, sure but what's the advantage of stressing out over specific assignments being turned in? Looking back at when my older kid attended school, I cannot think of a single advantage he'd have had "making up" worksheets and assignments after a vacation. Even in jr. high, grades are a way of measuring success, but not an actual important thing in and of themselves. Unless your kid will freak over a B instead of an A (I would have.) is there a point at which you just shrug and go, "eh?"

We have letter grades beginning in 1st here. Obviously has less meaning below HS though.

 

[rachwitt83]

I take my kids out of school every year. but am worried about my 8th grader when he starts HS.

 

[Ava]

We took our DD out for three days last year (end of Sept) when she was in K and it was fine, but this year we chose to go the last week of August so she wouldn't miss school. I would consider taking the kids out for a day or two surrounding a break again, but never for a full week. Even in 1st grade, they do A LOT each day so catching up on a full week's worth of work/information would be difficult. I'd rather not put that stress on my kid, or on me & my wife as the ones who will have to help her get caught up. We have enough options for school breaks - Feb, April, Christmas (yikes!), and summer, as well as usually 1-2 days off during two separate weeks in Sept/Oct for Jewish/Muslim holidays.

 

[slbgnb]

I am a teacher and have been in education for almost 20 years. I am about to take my boys (11 and 7) out of school for a week in November. Most affordable time for me and I would never want to fight crowds and heat in Summer. Anyway, I think there is nothing in the world wrong with them missing school. It is my experience that educators take things WAAYYY too seriously and that life is too short to worry about a week of school vs memories that will last a lifetime. Just my opinion. Lots dont agree with me, I understand that. I just think that, at the end of the day, there will never be a time that I say, "you know... my son is really struggling in life now because of that week of school he missed back in 2015" I did it 2 years ago as well, and no one remembers what was missed in school. Their grades didnt change that semester, and even if they had...big deal. I can tell you we talk about that trip every day and it is a special time that meant more to all of us than anything. Sorry... this is a bit of a sore subject with me...as you can probably imagine, I have had this conversation several times before.... Have fun!

I so agree with this. We will be going in Sept '16 and kids will be 9th, 7th & 4th. We've always gone in Sept, but it will have been 4 years, so I was very worried about pulling the 9th grader. I decided to ask her....she said, "Mom, it's a week...I'll be fine and can catch up. I'd much rather go when there are less crowds and then just work harder when I get back for a couple weeks." You are so right - 1 week out of the year is hardly going to effect their education. But, going to Disney....a memory that lasts forever.

 

[Ava]

I so agree with this. We will be going in Sept '16 and kids will be 9th, 7th & 4th. We've always gone in Sept, but it will have been 4 years, so I was very worried about pulling the 9th grader. I decided to ask her....she said, "Mom, it's a week...I'll be fine and can catch up. I'd much rather go when there are less crowds and then just work harder when I get back for a couple weeks." You are so right - 1 week out of the year is hardly going to effect their education. But, going to Disney....a memory that lasts forever.

You know, you bring up a good point. When kids are older they know their own capabilities better, and can understand that they'll have to work harder to catch up when they get home from the trip. Considering that, I almost think it'd be easier to pull out kids who are older (as long as they are willing to do the extra work to catch up). My 1st grader wouldn't fully understand the "consequences" of missing a week of school, and it would be completely on me and my wife to make sure she catches up on missed work while she grumbles about not being able to watch TV because she has double the usual amount of homework to do.