What would you do? UPDATE: Pg 7--I'm not fooling :)

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You don't go from being homeless to building a house six months later. Period. So they're scamming someone and if you don't get them out of your house, you will be the one dealing with the fall-out when their loan falls through.

If that is what they used it for, I had no idea. Why would I be liable if she was dishonest with me about it?

(Honest question as I do have the opportunity to undo this if she used the letter to justify a dishonest act.)

 

[JanaDee]

If that is what they used it for, I had no idea. Why would I be liable if she was dishonest with me about it?

(Honest question as I do have the opportunity to undo this if she used the letter to justify a dishonest act.)

No, I meant you'll be stuck with these people in your house if their loan falls through if you don't get tough and get them out.

 

[Flamingeaux]

No good deed goes unpunished.

You can't help people.

All part of the Fundamental Transformation.

 

[Andtototoo]

Make sure you change the locks and any security codes you have on the day you've given them as their moving day.

 

[cabanafrau]

Time for a heart to heart with your DH for you guys to decide what you are going to do next. I suspect it's going to be a little challenging to convince your DH they need to leave ASAP because he's dealing man to man, with the good cop. The other husband may indeed be a very nice guy, but at the end of the day he knows what his wife is up to & he lets it go on so he's complicit.

Particularly in light of the details you've been adding, I'd want them out, no renting, just out ASAP -- I don't mean toss them out, just tell them the time has come. The letter they requested from you could be a problem, could simply be a way of explaining their financial picture. I didn't understand the mortgage being under the table. I'm not familiar with that one.

Not to toot my horn, merely to emphasize what is what, these people are definitely grifters. They latch onto decent people & take whatever they can get. I suspect if you kicked enough rocks you'd find that there are a trail of decent people in their wake who have been taken advantage of & don't say anything about it because they feel empathy for the sob story that's been given & were trying to help them out.

Truly, I promise you that you need to get these people out of your house as quickly & cleanly as possible, with as little drama as possible. If I were you I'd be having a crisis of your own pop up any day now, necessitating getting your home in order for a prospective move. (Sometimes housing plans fall through unexpectedly you know )

Good luck to you -- and be very watchful of damage, injuries, etc. as they exit. Would not be at all surprised to find they suddenly have an ailment, a chronic ailment caused by living in your basement, leaving you & your homeowner's policy up to bat. Disconnect as cleanly & pleasantly as you can.

 

[Ceila]

Asking for the letter concerning not paying rent seems really odd to me. I would not put anything like that in writing.

At this point, I think your best option would be to tell them that they need to move out by April 30, and I would not ask for rent. Why no rent? Because then you have no rental agreement and no monetary proof that they lived there. Your house is probably not zoned to be a 2-family dwelling, and I would also want to avoid having any paperwork (rental agreement, rent check) floating around.

 

[KatheeME]

Lisa, I don't feel you and your husband are out of line at all. Take care, and good luck.

 

[leebee]

My sister "rented" her basement area to a friend and ended up in a world of hurt. IF you aren't zoned as a two-family dwelling, you could be in violation of town housing codes and subject to fines, depending on how your town/city defines a rental property. Your homeowner's policy might also give you trouble. However, what got my sister in trouble was her mortgage. Most standard mortgages stipulate that you aren't allowed to rent out parts of your home; it must remain a single family dwelling. It makes sense; the bank has loaned YOU a huge sum of money, and having additional renters just takes a toll on the building that, for all intents and purposes, the bank owns. It stinks that you started out being the nice guys and could actually get you in trouble, but that's a distinct possibility. I'd check the town/city ordinances, your homeowner's policy, and your mortgage before charging/accepting any rent at all.

 

[dsneprincess]

Time for a heart to heart with your DH for you guys to decide what you are going to do next. I suspect it's going to be a little challenging to convince your DH they need to leave ASAP because he's dealing man to man, with the good cop. The other husband may indeed be a very nice guy, but at the end of the day he knows what his wife is up to & he lets it go on so he's complicit.

Particularly in light of the details you've been adding, I'd want them out, no renting, just out ASAP -- I don't mean toss them out, just tell them the time has come. The letter they requested from you could be a problem, could simply be a way of explaining their financial picture. I didn't understand the mortgage being under the table. I'm not familiar with that one.

Not to toot my horn, merely to emphasize what is what, these people are definitely grifters. They latch onto decent people & take whatever they can get. I suspect if you kicked enough rocks you'd find that there are a trail of decent people in their wake who have been taken advantage of & don't say anything about it because they feel empathy for the sob story that's been given & were trying to help them out.

Truly, I promise you that you need to get these people out of your house as quickly & cleanly as possible, with as little drama as possible. If I were you I'd be having a crisis of your own pop up any day now, necessitating getting your home in order for a prospective move. (Sometimes housing plans fall through unexpectedly you know )

Good luck to you -- and be very watchful of damage, injuries, etc. as they exit. Would not be at all surprised to find they suddenly have an ailment, a chronic ailment caused by living in your basement, leaving you & your homeowner's policy up to bat. Disconnect as cleanly & pleasantly as you can.

This. I started out with the open mind, OP, that they just needed help, but something doesn't add up. Even putting aside the laundry room deal (no one with OCD could deal with my laundry habits!), the deal about your 13yo vs. her 14yo and the secrecy, hiding, needed to be viewed as perfect just don't really add up. Somehow, this family thinks they are "better" than your/yours. Did she do you a fair by living there? What 14yo wants to hide from all her friends (sounds like the kids are in the same circle), doesn't share living arrangements, no discussion, shared rides, nothing about this screams awkward with teens? That part just doesn't add up for me.........

Then I looked at the posts about legal questions, rent, payments, insurance, etc. not a can of worms you want to open. You mention HOA, is renting allowed there? Too many questions and places where this could potentially go bad, really, really bad.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I sincerely hope you don't end up there.

 

[muushupork]

I have to jumpin now too after reading about the letter request. I cant imagine that being for anything good.

 

[KatheeME]

All new contracts will have new terms and features with an escalating rent schedule.

YGG LOL!

 

[clutter]

So... ask for rent with a monthly escalation. Say $400 for April, $500 for May or any part thereof, $600 for June, etc. So if they move out on May 2, they have to pay you the full month rent. Should get them out in time for your move.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Time for a heart to heart with your DH for you guys to decide what you are going to do next. I suspect it's going to be a little challenging to convince your DH they need to leave ASAP because he's dealing man to man, with the good cop. The other husband may indeed be a very nice guy, but at the end of the day he knows what his wife is up to & he lets it go on so he's complicit.

Particularly in light of the details you've been adding, I'd want them out, no renting, just out ASAP -- I don't mean toss them out, just tell them the time has come. The letter they requested from you could be a problem, could simply be a way of explaining their financial picture. I didn't understand the mortgage being under the table. I'm not familiar with that one.

Not to toot my horn, merely to emphasize what is what, these people are definitely grifters. They latch onto decent people & take whatever they can get. I suspect if you kicked enough rocks you'd find that there are a trail of decent people in their wake who have been taken advantage of & don't say anything about it because they feel empathy for the sob story that's been given & were trying to help them out.

Truly, I promise you that you need to get these people out of your house as quickly & cleanly as possible, with as little drama as possible. If I were you I'd be having a crisis of your own pop up any day now, necessitating getting your home in order for a prospective move. (Sometimes housing plans fall through unexpectedly you know )

Good luck to you -- and be very watchful of damage, injuries, etc. as they exit. Would not be at all surprised to find they suddenly have an ailment, a chronic ailment caused by living in your basement, leaving you & your homeowner's policy up to bat. Disconnect as cleanly & pleasantly as you can.

Sorry for your situation, OP. So much for doing something nice.

I thought the same thing as the bolder above. Probably why they wanted the secrecy. Less rocks to kick about and reveal.

I really wouldn't like the letter thing or the attitude.

You and your husband have been extremely kind. You are not having that kindness returned to you, in your own home. I would be so done with them!

I'd tell them they need to make other arrangements, pronto. Giving them one month would be generous. Charge them rent for it. Don't worry about how your friend (I use that term loosely) feels about it. It's gone way beyond that.

Good luck with it all. It sounds stressful.

Did you give her the letter?

 

[sk!mom]

No good deed goes unpunished.

You were very generous to help them out. They would have lost me when they insisted on two dedicated laundry days in my home! That smacks of someone who feels entitled and used to taking advantage.

I would want them out asap! I would tell them that rent starts immediatly and they have 2 weeks to vacate. I would request a hefty rent- above whatever 1/3 of your housing costs are to motivate them. They should have offered rent as soon as they found employment.

Be prepared for them to be angry and for the relationship to suffer. People who feel this entitled will blame you for kicking them out rather than thank you for the months of help.

 

[book_junkie]

I was thinking more of Mad House, with Kirstie Alley and John Larroquette, with the OP being Kirstie Alley and John Larroquette! All the family ends up moving in and taking over the house because this happens, then that happens, and it's all their fault, etc. etc. etc.

Take control, and flip 'em.

 

[bethy]

Sorry second post BUT

I have been thinking about this and you know what I wouldn't set rent, I would simply say:

"we have been thinking about this, and it just isn't working out for our family anymore. we want you to move out. We understand you need time to find a place so you can stay till 30 days from now(or the end of April, up to you OP) We were glad to help when you were down."

They aren't your parents or a sibling that you might feel a moral obligation, they WERE friends who you did a great thing for and helped but you don't owe them anything. It is time you start thinking about your sanity and your family first, just like they are thinking of themselves first!!!

Yes, it was nice that you helped them out initially but your primary responsibility needs to be your family and not them. It has to be that way because you are the only one who is in a position to put *your* family first. So you have to advocate for them.

How is this other family's presence affecting your kids and your marriage, etc. The environment you described with the judgment, lack of privacy, living with peers the same age, and worst of all - requiring your children to hide the truth - would not be in the best interest of my family.

Those considerations alone would cause me to kindly inform these friends that you've done all you can and that they will need to make other living arrangements. If they are real friends there should be absolutely NO hard feelings - but instead 100% gratitude for all you have done for them!

 

[marlynnp]

Nope! You have been more than generous. They pay rent to you or they move and pay it to someone else.

I wouldn't waste my energy being upset if they decided to find a short-term rental somewhere else but if they did, I would never help them out again.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well, I find the response weird--these folks do struggle with pride, I think. But not wanting to mess up the friendship with a business relationship, they have just notified us that they are making arrangements to be out April 1.

Thanks for all the responses.

As far as the letter--my husband and I discussed it--we weren't anything but honest in the letter. We have no idea why it was requested. But if it was to explain their savings, we should still be okay. They only received the money last week. We are not responsible if the underwriter takes them at the word and doesn't follow the paper trail.

And for those wondering, I did google county ordinance when you mention it. My husband is claiming ambiguity. We meet the legal requirement for adults to square footage--what he claims is ambiguous is that there is no policy for kids. There are some other stipulations where we do not meet--but he said because of the square footage rule, it kind of makes the code in conflict with itself. 12 more days.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well, I find the response weird--these folks do struggle with pride, I think. But not wanting to mess up the friendship with a business relationship, they have just notified us that they are making arrangements to be out April 1.

Thanks for all the responses.

As far as the letter--my husband and I discussed it--we weren't anything but honest in the letter. We have no idea why it was requested. But if it was to explain their savings, we should still be okay. They only received the money last week. We are not responsible if the underwriter takes them at the word and doesn't follow the paper trail.

And for those wondering, I did google county ordinance when you mention it. My husband is claiming ambiguity. We meet the legal requirement for adults to square footage--what he claims is ambiguous is that there is no policy for kids. There are some other stipulations where we do not meet--but he said because of the square footage rule, it kind of makes the code in conflict with itself. 12 more days.

Yea!!! Great news. Now make them stick to it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Well, I find the response weird--these folks do struggle with pride, I think. But not wanting to mess up the friendship with a business relationship, they have just notified us that they are making arrangements to be out April 1.

Thanks for all the responses.

As far as the letter--my husband and I discussed it--we weren't anything but honest in the letter. We have no idea why it was requested. But if it was to explain their savings, we should still be okay. They only received the money last week. We are not responsible if the underwriter takes them at the word and doesn't follow the paper trail.

And for those wondering, I did google county ordinance when you mention it. My husband is claiming ambiguity. We meet the legal requirement for adults to square footage--what he claims is ambiguous is that there is no policy for kids. There are some other stipulations where we do not meet--but he said because of the square footage rule, it kind of makes the code in conflict with itself. 12 more days.

In my book, pride would have have been paying rent as soon as possible. That's a strange pride going on there.

Not wanting to mess up a friendship with a business relationship? Seems like they wouldn't have wanted to mess up a friendship with a mooching relationship, but at least they are going now.

They had a good thing going. Good for them that is. No telling how long they would've stayed if you hadn't brought up one word, "rent". That is some crazy stuff.