What would you do? DH & wedding dilemma

cooniez

Mouseketeer
Joined
Apr 5, 2010
As most of you know from my various posts we'll be going to Disneyland from June 18-22. This last minute trip to DL was planned when DH found out he'd be going to E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) from June 15-17. Not only was it his dream to attend E3, but he would also be making valuable contacts since he finally graduated last Aug. w/his BA in 3d/modeling.

Anyhow we just got an invitation this morning that his cousin will be having his wedding reception on the evening of June 18th (right in the middle of our trip). Now this cousin & his wife have been married for 2 years already! They had a baby so got married before the wife gave birth, but because the wife is the flashy kind she decided to wanted to spend $3000 a table on their wedding reception. DH's cousin could care less about having an "Official wedding gala". But now DH is stressing over it since he says he CAN'T miss it because it's his cousin. They are not particularly close, but DH is the type where he just can't stand for anyone to be mad at him & he really cares what everyone thinks.

DH is now talking about skipping out on E3 altogether OR driving from LA to SF to attend the wedding on Friday then go back to LA again for a one night wedding reception. That $ could go towards our daughter's vacation in DL. I told him it's not worth it for him to spend half our trip doing that & that I'd rather just go without him or take someone else in his place (we got a promo. on the hotel so everything is pre-paid). I mean, what's the point of him even going if he'll be gone half the trip? What do you think? Am I wrong to feel seriously annoyed? I doubt the cousin's wife would even care since we aren't really close...he!!, we'll be saving them some money, right?
 
If it was me, I wouldn't go. I would mark the little reply card that says can't attend. If anyone asks, I would say we already had a previous commitment (to my own family). And then send a very nice "wedding" gift. ;)
 
If it was me, I wouldn't go. I would mark the little reply card that says can't attend. If anyone asks, I would say we already had a previous commitment (to my own family). And then send a very nice "wedding" gift. ;)

I agree.
 
You might feel different if it was your cousin. But I agree with the PP And say you had a family commitment.

Perhaps you DH can find a cheap Southwest flight and fly up or down for the wedding without you. Minimizing the time at the wedding and away from his family.
 


Been there....done that. One of our groomsman sent an invitation to his wedding ....after our three week summer holiday was booked and paid for.
We sent a really nice gift and our apologies and made plans to get together after we got back and see all the pictures and video.
Do send a gift though, before the wedding or with your RSVP....it will ease DH's conscience and let his cousin know that his is thinking of him.
 
Just MHO, but just because you've been invited to his wedding (which he already had 2 years ago), you are under no obligation to attend. Factor in that you have already booked your trip, and it wouldn't be fair to either of you not to go on your trip as planned. Your DH has been looking forward to attending this event for along time, and it wouldn't be fair for him to cancel, as he may never have a chance to attend again. So politely decline, stating that you have already made plans for that date, and wish him the best of luck in his celebration. I would send a gift card for a store that they frequent, in lieu of you attending. This way everyone is happy, and your DH may regret later not attending the E3 convention. Just my 2 cents worth.
 
Happy to report that DH told me, after half an hour of him fretting & cussing to himself ;)...that we would in fact be going as planned! :banana: I'm glad he finally came to his senses, because that would just be way too crazy for him to drive 7 hours to attend the reception & have to turn back around to meet us. There's no way he'd be up for a day at DL if he did that. Now I just have to figure out if I should include a note w/the RSVP explaining why we can't make it (I'm sure they'll be surprised) or maybe I should call cousin's wife? I don't talk to her often, but when I do it's usually through e-mail or message/text....I'm guessing that's too casual to explain why we can't make it to their wedding. Any ideas? TIA!
 


No you do not have to explain your self anymore than saying you have a prior engagement or other family commitment to attend. It will just cause a lot of talk if you say you planned to goto DL instead. And that will lead to resentment on both sides.
 
No you do not have to explain your self anymore than saying you have a prior engagement or other family commitment to attend. It will just cause a lot of talk if you say you planned to goto DL instead. And that will lead to resentment on both sides.

Agreed!
 
I'm glad he came to his senses!!

Think back to any declined invites you got to your wedding. How many of them explained why they couldn't come? It's generally just 'apologies, but we can't come' I'd leave it at that, with a nice gift.
 
I wouldnt go, maybe ask your husbands cousin to explain to your husband that its not such a big deal if he doesnt attend. He shouldnt miss E3 its not every day someone gets in there. If my DBF could get in I wouldnt let him miss it for just about anything.
 
He shouldnt miss E3 its not every day someone gets in there. If my DBF could get in I wouldnt let him miss it for just about anything.

Exactly! This is an event he has always wanted to attend, but never thought he'd be able to in his lifetime. I'm glad he made the more practical decision. I do feel bad, but my kids' happiness is more important to me. Plus, I bet the bride & groom will be so busy they won't even notice that we're missing. ;)
 

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