What age do you let your child have independence on the ship?

[lotofheart]

I have twin girls that will be 11 in February 2015. We sail in early January. I am wondering what the prevailing view is about how much independence children at this age should have on the ship (assuming they are together).

Thanks in advance for your opinions (I suspect this may be a controversial issue)!

 

[annaruth674]

I just sailed with my daughter who is 10 1/2. She is very responsible, but I am very protective So there was more independence for her on this cruise than our last one, but not as much as I saw many parents giving their children. She was allowed to go from our room to the kids' clubs and back on her own, except for times where we had agreed on a different meeting place than the stateroom. I didn't have her carry the wave phone, but I made sure she always had her watch on, and knew when she was supposed to meet me where.

Again, that is probably much more protective than most parents would be, but it worked for us. As she gets older, the independence will increase. As will my gray hairs

 

[Imagineer2Be]

I went on a cruise (non DCL) when I was 12 with my Grandmother and other older relatives. I was allowed to go to the kid activities on my own and would meet her back at the room when they were done (they were not all day). Perhaps because it was a different line (or the tonsillitis I got on the boat), I really didn't have a great desire to go places on my own.

 

[Purplejewel]

It is a personal preference and alot depends on how old a child is and how responsible the child is but, on our last 7-day family cruise in November of 2013, I let my 15 year old have quite a bit of independence. She was allowed to stay late at the Teen Club each night as long as she was back in the room by a set time each night - usually 1:00 pm or 2:00 pm. She was also allowed to go to various activities in the Teen Club throughout the day as long as I knew where she was. My two 13 year olds were allowed independence as long as they were together at all times and I knew where they were. My 10 year old was not allowed independence. She either had to remain with my DH and I or she had to be with one of her sisters. I just felt, personally, that 10 was too young to be allowed to be on her own on the ship.

 

[mom4fun]

There is something to be said about independence with rules. I wouldn't let a young child use the elevators alone after that girl was molested by a cm on an elevator. Stairs would probably be safer.

 

[goofyintoronto]

At 11 years old, as long as they stay TOGETHER at all times, i'd totally let them have independence. I noticed on the fantasy there were a lot of kids their age roaming the ship, I rarely saw a kid alone. Make sure they have a wave phone so that you can communicate with them at all times.

You can start off small and see how they do. for example, let them go from the room to the kids club alone. Let them play minigolf alone etc. Start off small and see how they do.

 

[happytime]

Voice of a grandma here. Protect as much as you can. Even on a Disney ship. From what I understand, Disney does its best to screen their employees (Cast Members), but there are occasions when something was missed. For the most part, I have felt much safety for the children aboard the cruise ships.


As far as independence goes, around 11-12 is a good age to do what the above posters do...go to the kid's clubs and back to room. We were on the Magic, had a fairly close room to the stairs and the kid's clubs, so after about the 3 or 4th day, my grandson was allowed to go back and forth on his own by a time set on all watches. He was about 10 years old. Again, we were pretty close to the clubs so he wasn't walking the whole ship to get to and from.

This year, we did the Fantasy. Now that grandson is 15 years old. He was allowed to go to the teen events and stayed out until 1-2 a.m. But he is a good kid and is truly a rule-follower.

 

[Dawg91]

Since there are two of them, I'd let them have quite a lot of independence during the day under the condition that they stay together. I rented my almost 12 year old a Wave phone and she could do what she wanted generally. She didn't much like the Edge (not a joiner), but we had cousins and some friends made previously to do things with. The almost 9 year old couldn't go places alone generally, but there again, she had older cousins and her sister she could go with.

When they were 7 & 10, I let them do some things (Midship Detective Agency) alone with a 10 yr old cousin under threat of death if I caught them being hoodlums.

I found it remarkable how often we ran into the kids when they were doing their own thing. You would think with that many people, you might never see them, but you do.

 

[Peachy Gal]

There is something to be said about independence with rules. I wouldn't let a young child use the elevators alone after that girl was molested by a cm on an elevator. Stairs would probably be safer.

When you say "cm" are you referring to child molester, cast member, ...? Was this on a Disney ship???

 

[Peachy Gal]

I have twin girls that will be 11 in February 2015. We sail in early January. I am wondering what the prevailing view is about how much independence children at this age should have on the ship (assuming they are together).

Thanks in advance for your opinions (I suspect this may be a controversial issue)!

Thank you so much for this question. I am a mom of a ten year old as well and we are taking our first Disney cruise. I have heard from other parents who allow their children to move about pretty freely on board which makes me pretty uncomfortable. But I don't want to limit my kiddos if they are in a safe place where they really can explore and gain independence.

 

[RHSTigerMom]

Since there are two of them, I'd let them have quite a lot of independence during the day under the condition that they stay together. I rented my almost 12 year old a Wave phone and she could do what she wanted generally. She didn't much like the Edge (not a joiner), but we had cousins and some friends made previously to do things with. The almost 9 year old couldn't go places alone generally, but there again, she had older cousins and her sister she could go with.

When they were 7 & 10, I let them do some things (Midship Detective Agency) alone with a 10 yr old cousin under threat of death if I caught them being hoodlums.

I found it remarkable how often we ran into the kids when they were doing their own thing. You would think with that many people, you might never see them, but you do.

As I was reading this post w/out looking at the poster, I thought, that's exactly what we did with my nieces on our cruise, how weird, but that's because the poster is my sister! Funny how we read the same threads.

That being said, on our Wonder cruise last April, my 11 yo son was allowed to hang with a friend he met prior to the cruise but he had to check-in if they were leaving Edge. He was not allowed to go into another stateroom nor was he allowed to have anyone in our stateroom.

What I don't agree with is letting teens stay out until 2 or 3 in the morning, that's a whole other topic. We've got a few years before we deal with that. Basically, what it boils down to is you know your child and how responsible they are to do things without parental supervision.

 

[brianvdb]

When you say "cm" are you referring to child molester, cast member, ...? Was this on a Disney ship???

At the risk of derailing this thread....

The previous poster probably meant Cast Member. The incident they are referring to was in August 2012 aboard the Dream...

http://www.ibtimes.com/did-disney-cruise-line-let-child-molester-go-free-1273987

DCL was heavily criticized for their handling of that incident. There was a second incident in April 2014, also aboard the Dream, which is a lot more troubling but appears to have been handled better by DCL...

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/disney-cruise-line-worker-charged-with-molestation-on-ship/25420302

 

[wxman0]

We will let our 12 year old DD have a fair amount of freedom however she will always have a friend with her so that makes me feel better as well. If she was alone we'd want to make sure she checks in with us if she decides to explore. There is a curfew for her however and no going into someone else's room. Of course our 9 year old is not allowed to go on her own other than to run from the pool to grab a snack.

 

[mom4fun]

At the risk of derailing this thread....

The previous poster probably meant Cast Member. The incident they are referring to was in August 2012 aboard the Dream...

http://www.ibtimes.com/did-disney-cruise-line-let-child-molester-go-free-1273987

DCL was heavily criticized for their handling of that incident. There was a second incident in April 2014, also aboard the Dream, which is a lot more troubling but appears to have been handled better by DCL...

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/disney-cruise-line-worker-charged-with-molestation-on-ship/25420302

Thanks for reposting. The incident with Disney CastMember was with an 11 year old in an elevator alone so I would always have kids that age buddy up. That other incident on the carnival ship was a 13 year old which you would think you wouldn't have to worry about going with a stranger but I guess we should all give our kids another talk about not going with strangers anywhere even if they are a ships employee.

 

[Peachy Gal]

Thanks briandvb and mom4fun for the replies. I don't want to change the focus of the thread, but this information does help me to make a more informed decision on how much parent free wandering my kiddos will do. As of today, I will very likely be with them at ALL TIMES! #helicoptermom

 

[princesspiglet]

My DD12 has been on 3 cruises so far, and with each one we give her a little more freedom.

The first one she was 8, and she wasn't allowed to wander away from us at all. She was with either myself or her dad at all times.

The second one she was 9 1/2 and I let her go up to Parrot Cay by herself to get a snack while we were in our room (on the deck right below). I gave her a time limit- say 20 mins and if she wasn't back in time, I went looking. (she always came back in time). I also would let her go get food by herself while we were all on the pool deck together.

The 3rd she was 11 1/2 and she was allowed to go to the Edge by herself during the day and get snacks/food by herself. We didn't have to worry about a curfew because she never wanted to stay longer than 11pm. She always had the wave phone with her and would call us when she was leaving the edge and let us know where she was going and we would meet up.

This next cruise in June 2015 she will be 12 1/2 and will most likely have the same freedoms as she had this past June at 11 1/2.

She is a very responsible kid and follows the rules with no problems. She is also not outgoing so she would never engage with a stranger unless I (or her dad) was with her.

 

[Ofinn]

My boys are 10 an 12 and the only time I saw the the last two cruise was at dinner and when we went on shore. They love the edge and I feel comfortable letting them come and go as they please. They really don't go away from the edge group unless they are going to get food. They have made many friends in the edge and they have kept in contact with them after the cruise.

 

[LSUfan4444]

All depends on the kid. I was 12 years old on a cruise and when I asked my dad what time I needed to be back in the room, he said whenever you want. But that was a different time and my daughter is a different person.

The amount of trust and freedom someone receives should be directional proportionate to the amount they have earned. Not giving trust and freedom when it is rightfully earned and giving it when it has not been earned are both in bad form.

 

[AndyLL]

My son was 11 on his 1st cruise ( 3 night on the Dream ) and he had total freedom to come/go to the Edge but had to call me anytime he left it.

Last October at 12 ( 6 night Wonder ) he again had complete freedom didn't call if he was doing Edge activities throughout the ship. He did call when he wanted to go eat or get ice cream.

Both times outside of dinner/shows and the occasional breakfast he was free to do what he wanted. We did always set expectations of where he would be and when he would be back.

 

[tinkmom2]

My dd was 12. As PP stated, I had her check in with me and made it clear she wasn't to go into anyone's cabin. She will be 15 on this cruise and maybe she will like the teen club better? She didn't like the one on the Dream.