Weddings

[Karin1984]

Sorry to go OT, but I'm super-curious. Is entertaining at home and setting a elegant or festive table not a thing there? Granted, a lot of younger people here don't routinely accumulate a china pattern anymore but it's not unheard of.

I'm sure there are, but I think only fancy people. I have never eaten at friend's or family's place where some kind of special flat/silverware was used. If you want fancy, you go to a restaurant.
If you want to up your table setting a bit when you have someone over: bring out the fancy placemats and maybe an underplate.

When we (me and my mother) watch those British home shows, like Escape to the Country, we always laugh at people looking for a place with space to 'entertain people' It's just so foreign to us. Waste of space.

The Dutch are very practical people, owning a set of expensive plates you only use once or twice a year doesn't make sense to us.

 

[easyas123]

I do - not that often, but I do. I enjoy making the effort every once in a great while.

In fact, I have china from my grandmother & my great grandmother....I never signed up for china when I got married but I wish I had. So now I've started collecting/picking up piece from a pattern I've long liked and plan on passing down one of my other sets to one of the future DIL's - whomever wants it or likes it. If no one does I'll pass it along to another family member that does.

 

[usnuzuloose]

In my first marriage the nephew got married. When the minister was done, he forgot to mention , you are now man and wife. Someone went back and got him to say it.....

 

[tzolkin]

When the minister was done, he forgot to mention , you are now man and wife. Someone went back and got him to say it.....

It may not have been forgotten. A Catholic wedding does not have this as part of the liturgy. There’s also no “you may kiss the bride”.

My husband wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen when during our wedding so he went to kiss me as I turned back toward the altar and he wound up kissing me on the cheek. Everyone thought it was very sweet.

 

[usnuzuloose]

It may not have been forgotten. A Catholic wedding does not have this as part of the liturgy. There’s also no “you may kiss the bride”.

My husband wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen when during our wedding so he went to kiss me as I turned back toward the altar and he wound up kissing me on the cheek. Everyone thought it was very sweet.

It was not a catholic wedding

 

[mjkacmom]

It may not have been forgotten. A Catholic wedding does not have this as part of the liturgy. There’s also no “you may kiss the bride”.

My husband wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen when during our wedding so he went to kiss me as I turned back toward the altar and he wound up kissing me on the cheek. Everyone thought it was very sweet.

Every Catholic wedding I’ve been to has had this part, even mine.

 

[design_mom]

Every Catholic wedding I’ve been to has had this part, even mine.

Mine too

 

[Kestryl]

I used to frequent a wedding board years ago, when I was planning our wedding, and my oh my, the arguments that could ensue.

There were discussions about cash bars and attendants paying all the time. In general, it seemed like you were in an area that either (a) covered the bar tab and had attendants pay their own way or (b) had a cash bar and paid for attendants’ attire. A much smaller percentage of people paid for both or neither.

Also, there were a number of people who were “insulted” that no alcohol would be served- so strange.

My personal petty complaint is against the people who complain about Catholic gaps- probably because I had one. I’m sorry that it was important to me to have a Catholic wedding, which had to be held at the latest 1 pm, with a few hours extra before dinner. My alternatives were to have the wedding during the week or have a dry, light lunch reception, either of which you would have probably hated more anyways.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Also, there were a number of people who were “insulted” that no alcohol would be served- so strange.

I think it's probably because they'd like to have the option as an adult and while not necessary is nice to have. And generally my assumption is weddings that didn't have alcohol it's likely for some moral objection which can rub people the wrong way. On the other hand I can also see weddings not having alcohol because of concerns over drunkenness and if that's the case I would hope the couple is basing that on knowing that the majority of their guests would devolve into a college frat party rather than just assuming.

 

[tzolkin]

Every Catholic wedding I’ve been to has had this part, even mine.

Mine too

Not sure which item you’re referencing, but both are definitely not part of the Catholic wedding liturgy. You may have a priest who will say either phrase at the couple’s request, but neither is an “official” part of the ceremony.

My original comment was in response to someone who said the line was “forgotten”. I was just pointing out that it is not a required line for every wedding despite it being popular in movies.

 

[neverlandsky]

Aww we playfully and very very mildly smashed the cake. Very small on nose and mouth. We did the same for the kids first birthdays and let them put cake on our faces. It was great pics of us laughing.

Personally love weddings that focus on quality not quantity. The less is more approach. It was so beautiful and refreshing seeing all the Covid weddings of elopements and small wedding parties. Our wedding 99% didn’t go the way we wanted it. Family used it as a bbq family reunion along with their friends. There was a ton of drama, lack of well wishes from others, and comments saying me & DH won’t last. One of my pet peeves, big mouths who have nothing nice to say.

So we’re thinking about having a 25th wedding anniversary dinner where we dress up to the 9’s and invite a few very close people to celebrate. DH suggested vow renewal. I’m thinking about it.

 

[ronandannette]

I think it's probably because they'd like to have the option as an adult and while not necessary is nice to have. And generally my assumption is weddings that didn't have alcohol it's likely for some moral objection which can rub people the wrong way. On the other hand I can also see weddings not having alcohol because of concerns over drunkenness and if that's the case I would hope the couple is basing that on knowing that the majority of their guests would devolve into a college frat party rather than just assuming.

I know tons of people who abstain from alcohol based on their own morals; most of our friends actually. It's absurd to expect that those people have to provide alcohol at their events. Just like it would be absurd for them to refuse to go to events where alcohol was served (nobody I know does that).

 

[BlueStarryHat]

My sister was maid of honor to her best friend many years ago. When it came time to cut the cake, the dj called out "1...2...3!" wherein the bride and groom turned around and smashed cake into the faces of my sister and the best man. I admit I laughed, although I usually don't like the cake-in-the-face routine.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I know tons of people who abstain from alcohol based on their own morals; most of our friends actually. It's absurd to expect that those people have to provide alcohol at their events. Just like it would be absurd for them to refuse to go to events where alcohol was served (nobody I know does that).

I never said anything about expecting just said I can understand why adults would like to have that choice.

FWIW if most of the wedding guests abstained from alcohol for moral objections yeah it'd make a lot of sense to not have alcohol. I've only know a few people who have moral objections but they tend to be very strong. But the vast majority of the people I know don't really have a strong opinion either way such that it would rise to actively choosing to not have it at an event even if they seldom drink or don't drink at all (they more or less consider their audience in that sense).

I've always been that it's the couples decision on things so that still would apply, I was responding to the person saying it was strange that people were insulted. Maybe I don't agree with actually being insulted but I really don't find it strange. It's kinda like no-kid weddings. I don't get the upset over it but I don't find it strange either because I understand both why the couple wouldn't want kids there if that was their choice and why someone would want their kids there.

 

[pfp258]

I'm sure there are, but I think only fancy people. I have never eaten at friend's or family's place where some kind of special flat/silverware was used. If you want fancy, you go to a restaurant.
If you want to up your table setting a bit when you have someone over: bring out the fancy placemats and maybe an underplate.

When we (me and my mother) watch those British home shows, like Escape to the Country, we always laugh at people looking for a place with space to 'entertain people' It's just so foreign to us. Waste of space.

The Dutch are very practical people, owning a set of expensive plates you only use once or twice a year doesn't make sense to us.

 

[Immadismom]

I’m very into cooking, so I registered for good knives. I was given a block of cheap knives with no receipt. So I kept them and I’m still using them every day, 27 years later. One of theses days I’ll get my good knives...

So funny! I had the same thing happen. Used those knives for 20+ years. This year, I celebrated my 20th year at work & got to pick a gift. I picked a nice set of Henckles knives.

 

[Kestryl]

I think it's probably because they'd like to have the option as an adult and while not necessary is nice to have. And generally my assumption is weddings that didn't have alcohol it's likely for some moral objection which can rub people the wrong way. On the other hand I can also see weddings not having alcohol because of concerns over drunkenness and if that's the case I would hope the couple is basing that on knowing that the majority of their guests would devolve into a college frat party rather than just assuming.

Yeah, those points were commonly brought up- that they wanted the choice to drink, that it’s more fun, that the hosts were uppity etc. There was a lot of ignorance for situations like former (or current) alcoholics or religious regions or extreme budget restrictions.

Though the funny thing was that the people who thought a wedding without alcohol was a waste we’re also mainly the people against cash bars- so they better get alcohol, and the hosts better pay for it!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

There was a lot of ignorance for situations like former (or current) alcoholics

Granted this was just my family but my grandmother was an alcoholic and none of my family wanted us to feel like we couldn't have alcohol there because of that. Unbeknownst to me they handle it seamlessly on my wedding day any issues that came up. Although to my knowledge out of the 120ish guests she was the only alcoholic we knew. It's a sensitive subject but is one dealt differently by different people.

extreme budget restrictions.

That I totally get, alcohol can get expensive. For ours the place we got it from we could return unopened alcohol for a refund. It only counted whole bottles of wine and whole cases of beer but there was indeed some returns made.

Though the funny thing was that the people who thought a wedding without alcohol was a waste we’re also mainly the people against cash bars-

Yeah I mentioned I didn't want to do a cash bar or make my guests feel like they had to pay for the tip (really I just didn't want them thinking about having to have cash to come to my wedding) though I don't have issues with it on principle.

 

[ncc1701]

I have been to Weddings without alcohol due to the beliefs of the bride & groom ( or their Parents). I knew that & went because of my relationship with the couple. Haven't been to a Wedding with a Cash Bar as an Adult but did go to one as a child. It was the expected thing in that area (50+years ago).It even included Soda, but the FOB ( MOB was Dad's 1st cousin) , let the bartender know Sis & I got free Sodas

 

[lpereira]

Not sure which item you’re referencing, but both are definitely not part of the Catholic wedding liturgy. You may have a priest who will say either phrase at the couple’s request, but neither is an “official” part of the ceremony.

My original comment was in response to someone who said the line was “forgotten”. I was just pointing out that it is not a required line for every wedding despite it being popular in movies.

Nothing should be added to the Mass. It is prohibited. Decades down the road people may find they aren't actually married under church law. Kind of like the guy who about to become a priest when it was discovered his baptismal priest adlibed the Mass. He had to get baptized before he could become a priest.
When you have a Mass somehow you should discretely let your guests know not to partake in the Eucharist as well. With few exceptions most Protestants aren't eligible. For that matter many Catholics should keep their butts in the seat as well but.....
My wedding turned out to be a 2 hour 21 minute Mass conducted in two languages but nothing that wasn't officially part of the liturgy