We Ditched The Kids! - UPDATE (7/22 - NYC trip)

[Captain_Oblivious]

OK, finally back to to lay waste to.... errr...
playfully comment on the intro.

It's about time!

I suspect that there is a great deal of bribery and larceny required to actually pull this off.

It's like a bill coming together in Congress. You probably don't want to know what promises were made in order to make it happen.

One of the tires on your minivan seems to be leaking.
Well, it could be you that’s leaking, but then you’d probably have spelt that a mite differently.

How do you spell relief?

OK, but I’m bringing my red stapler with me, so just know… I’m armed.

+1

<<staples TPS report cover sheet to author’s forehead>>

Hey now! Getting a little violent here.

Well, now you know better.

(backs away slowly)

Not much of a stretch of the imagination required to derive that bit of information.

Well, there might be someone out there who feels differently. We call them "weirdos."

And have someone else pay for it, while we day dreaming here.

Ooh, I like this dream.

OK, now you’re just being delusional.

Snap out of it!

D'oh! Sorry, got carried away.

Yup… called that one back up at the top of this little discourse.
It’s the only way…

We're not above bribes.

Yo Mark!
Why don’t you tell us the story of how you acquired your rather apt moniker?

Well, it's pretty simple. There was a girl I liked in college. Before I met Julie, naturally. I was painfully shy around women, so I hadn't built up the courage to ask her out. We were a part of the same Christian student group and one Saturday, a bunch of us were doing a service project, serving breakfast at the Ronald McDonald House for the guests there. At the very end of our shift, we got to eat breakfast ourselves. The big table was mostly full, and there was a side table for two. This girl sat by herself at the side table. I was one of the last ones to get my food and was busy preparing my plate. Someone invited the girl over to the big table, and she said, "No, that's ok, Mark will sit with me here."





Except...

I didn't hear her. Totally missed it. I don't know if I was zoned out staring at a plate of bacon, or what. But I had no idea she had said anything. And naturally, not wanting to be too forward or obvious, I piled my plate high with food and sat at the big table.



A few friends both knew of my attraction to her and had heard her invitation loud and clear. One even asked, "What are you DOING???" And I had no idea what he was talking about.

Thus was born Captain Oblivious.

At least I didn't screw it up with Julie.

Are you allowed to say that out loud?
Yeah, I know that an indisputable fact, but are you allowed to point it out?

Well, the mods haven't banned me yet.

Must agree here.
It may be a money devouring machine, but it’s a very well run money devouring machine.

And a highly entertaining one.
They know their business.

Many other organizations could learn a lot from how Disney is run. Then again, some are lessons we wouldn't want them to learn.

Oh, Pu-leeeze…

Pup!

Well, I'm closer to the end than the beginning now.

Scotty happening is one thing…
But this “happening” is a whole other brand of: “oh myyyyyy…”

Surprise, surprise, surprise!

Nope, don’t got it…
Don’t need ‘em anymore, but they were never available.

That stinks. We've been blessed in that regard.

Nope, nope… don’t got it.
And that’s still a problem.

Usually a problem for us, too, but we were blessed again.

Well, that won’t be happening, but our house is also a dictatorship, so…

OK, now that might be doable with the right amount of coercion and monetary incentive.
But again, it’s not an issue any more for us so I suppose it all comes down to that pesky money thing.

Stupid money.

Good…
If it were an actual democracy, I’d be the one reporting you to the DSS.

Whew. I need to make sure I have my iron fist with me at all times.

Distant?
Have I ever told you about the properties of relativity in relation to time and the direct effect it has on kids?

How does it work relative to denial?

A selfless act of neigh epic proportions, that.

I'm glad someone appreciates the sacrifices we made.

I suspect it was steeped in near biblical quantities of sorrow, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Frogs! There were frogs! And locusts!

Already done….

Check.

T’is the plan

Check.

A moral imperative…

Check.

Goes without saying…

And check.

I hate you!

Nooooo, not really, but you know…

I get it. I'd hate me too.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Aha! Found it.

D'oh! Another one I missed in my signal flare. Sorry about that, Glenn.

Yes, we have dreamed of going to DisneyWorld by ourselves, just us parents. It hasn't happened yet. But someday!

Does Hilton Head count? I mean, it's Disney property.

The only thing I might disagree with in your Intro is the "staying up after 8" part -- that's getting pretty close to somebody's bedtime in my particular two-some, and it ain't me, but I'm not saying who.

Honestly, that sometimes goes for my better half as well. She hasn't seen the end of any movie we've rented since 2004.

Looking forward to it!

That makes one of us! Wait a minute...

Doing an adults only trip in October so I'm eagerly anticipating your report. Of course my kids are 21 and 18, but still...

Hey, when you need a break, you need a break! I'm sure you will have a blast.

We are also leaving the kids behind for our next trip! They were less than thrilled! We are also going to Daytona for a NASCAR race, which they aren't too happy about, but I think we deserve an adults trip to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary! Can't wait to read about your trip!

One of the best gifts you can give your kids is a strong, vibrant marriage! Someday they'll understand it.

Following along because I have to say...this is like my dream trip! I really wish DH and I would have gone to Disney before we had kids (we almost did in March 2012 but instead went to Vegas...you know, the adult "Disney" ...and I kick myself every day for making that decision ...we should have done the REAL Disney!).

We were in Vegas a couple of summers ago for about a half-hour...and for us, that was enough. Maybe you'll get a do-over!

Anywhoooo, I can't wait to see how much fun you guys had without kids!

Spoiler: Spoiler

Lots!

Jumping in on this one! Rumor has it that you're actually the best trip report writer.

Always good to have a DIS Dad around. And you read that on the internet, so it must be true!

Sounds like a dream trip. I've never managed a trip to the World without the kids, but maybe someday. In fact it's our 10th anniversary this year. Maybe worth celebrating with a no kids trip? Hmm......

Really, I think any excuse is a worthwhile excuse. An adults-only Arbor Day celebration? Why not?

Also following along. We leave in 57 days for our first adults only trip. Not that Im counting or anything.

At my pace, you probably won't get any insight at all before you leave, but I'm sure you will love it!

 

[abarriger]

excited to follow along-- you're off to a fun start! My partner and I have no kids (yet!) and we love our grownup only trips each year... In fact we already have plans for eventual childcare so we can keep taking them when we really have kids! So... I understand the desire for your trip!

 

[DLo]

Joining in. We are going on our first no kids trip in October . Our kids are older so no bribes needed. It is part my 50th birthday - part holy cow we are empty nesters now trip. Can't wait. Food and Wine adults only - should be a wee bit different.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

It's about time!

Hay! Mindless garbage of this proportion….

I mean…
Repartee of this caliber takes time to properly compose.

It's like a bill coming together in Congress. You probably don't want to know what promises were made in order to make it happen.

Bills come together?
Who knew…

I thought they were just written by lobbyists and then handed directly to their highest paid “elected” lackey.

How do you spell relief?

Well you’ve got’s ya’ a choice on that one.

1) R-O-L-A-I-D-S

2) P-F-F-F-F-T


Of course proper etiquette requires you request the pulling of one’s finger before using option two.

Well, there might be someone out there who feels differently. We call them "weirdos."

Or independently wealthy…

I don't know if I was zoned out staring at a plate of bacon, or what.

This has got to be the only recorded instance in human history where the existence of bacon might possibly have led to a negative outcome.

Of course - and as you correctly point out - had you not earned your official Delta-Tau-Chi name in this instance, you likely wouldn’t be writing about all the suffering at the Polly you and your better had to endure.

Many other organizations could learn a lot from how Disney is run. Then again, some are lessons we wouldn't want them to learn.

<<shudder>>

Well, I'm closer to the end than the beginning now.

Averages are merely that…
Averages.

You’ve no way to know.
And if you’re anything like me, your guesses are usually wrong
(at least that’s what Andy says)

Surprise, surprise, surprise!

That stinks. We've been blessed in that regard.

And that’s a good thing for y’all.

Pop was a widower before my young’en was born and MIL was on her own about the time the boy turned four.
It seemed a bit unfair to be asking of them.

Such is life.

Stupid money.

Wish I had a whole lot more of that particular verity of stupid.

Whew. I need to make sure I have my iron fist with me at all times.

Can’t be letting them raise themselves, now can we.

How does it work relative to denial?

“Well I’ll tell you…”


But first I recommend you assume the position…

OK, ready?
Good, here’s your answer on the effectiveness of denial:


It ain’t.

Frogs! There were frogs! And locusts!

Well at least they only got up to Number-8.

I'm glad someone appreciates the sacrifices we made.

If you’d have just let me know, we’d have gladly taken on those burdens for you.


Or would that have been too perilous?
Because I’d still be willing to go back and face the peril.


.

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

Joining in! Must've been hard slumming at the Polynesian...I'll have to read along and see how you suffered

 

[awalker1015]

Doing our first kid free trip 4/15-4/19. Can't wait read along!

 

[cj9200]

Life has gotten in the way so just signing up now.

 

[MAGICFOR2]

Hi Mark! I guess I was a little oblivious you had started this TR. Thanks for the signal! Love the adults only trip for you two. Mega important for your marriage. My mom once told me if you don't take time for just the two of you, one day your kids will be grown and gone, you will look up and realize you don't know each other. Smart lady my mom.

We did WDW without kids after 24 years of marriage. Had so much fun we did a Disney cruise the next year to celebrate our 25th! Looking forward to hearing about your getaway. Sounds like you are good parents, BTW.

 

[GoofyFan1515]

Aha! Found it.

Yes, we have dreamed of going to DisneyWorld by ourselves, just us parents. It hasn't happened yet. But someday!

The only thing I might disagree with in your Intro is the "staying up after 8" part -- that's getting pretty close to somebody's bedtime in my particular two-some, and it ain't me, but I'm not saying who.

Looking forward to it!

1 Judy!

A few friends both knew of my attraction to her and had heard her invitation loud and clear. One even asked, "What are you DOING???" And I had no idea what he was talking about.

Thus was born Captain Oblivious.

At least I didn't screw it up with Julie.

Interesting story and clears up a lot, but based on the end result, can you actually claim you screwed it up the first time? I mean you did end up with bacon. .....and Julie..... no order of importance implied.

 

[afwdwfan]

Hey, you. Yeah, you. With the over-sized cup of coffee and the bags under your eyes. Looking at the DISboards while the boss thinks you’re preparing cover sheets for TPS reports. Come here. Over here. Turn around. Do the hokey-pokey.

What??? I never look at Disboards at work. :rolleyes

By the way, have you seen my stapler?

Let’s be honest. You don’t want to be at work right now. You want to be at Disney World.

Wow you're smart! You should be a rocket scientist or an engineer or something.

walk around the parks without lugging 3 bags and a stroller

This is the big one.

Others of you may know me as “Dork”, “Jerk-face”, or That Annoying Guy Who Can’t Come Up With Original Material So He Hides TV/Movie Quotes In His Trip Reports (seriously, I’ve already made 4 references in this intro).

We always appreciate a good movie quote, Jerk-face.

We have four kids: Sarah (14), David (11), Scotty (9), and Oops (2).

We love them to death. We love their company. We love watching them grow. We love sharing experiences with them.


And sometimes, we really, really need a break. Those of you who are parents don’t need me to explain that.

You've got 8 years as a parent on me and I understand it. You're overdue for a break.

We’d never seen Disney at Christmas time, and had wanted to go for years. My birthday is in late November. Perfect! We both readily agreed that it was a great idea and started planning…


…and then Baby Drew happened.

Requirement #1 was easy. My parents live a half-hour away and are always happy to have their grandkids around. No problem there.

Gotta appreciate grandparents who are so willing and able to step in and help.

However, having demonstrated our power with an act of cruelty (i.e. going to Disney World without them), we chose to also demonstrate our power with an act of mercy. We listened to our children and avoided booking a room in either of their favorite resorts. Instead, we twisted our own arms and held our noses and took a room at the Polynesian resort instead. You can imagine the disappointment.

You're such a kind and benevolent dictator.

 

[Wherem I Now]

Looking forward to reading another one of your Trip Reports, especially an adults only TR for you and the missus. We took a Disney Cruise followed by a day at EPCOT for our 20th anniversary without the kids and it was awesome. This year will be our 25th anniversary, and while we will be in Orlando during that time, it will with kids and primarily celebrating DD18's High School graduation. She has chosen Universal Studios. I hope by reading this that I can better imagine spending our 25th in our favorite hangout by ourselves.

However, having demonstrated our power with an act of cruelty (i.e. going to Disney World without them), we chose to also demonstrate our power with an act of mercy. We listened to our children and avoided booking a room in either of their favorite resorts. Instead, we twisted our own arms and held our noses and took a room at the Polynesian resort instead. You can imagine the disappointment.

NICE! I'm hoping that you got to spend lots of time there and took many pictures. That's one of my fantasy hotels to stay at Disney.

 

[mcjaco]

This needs to get started. I have nothing to read while at work.

 

[unwritten01]

Can't wait to read! We have 6 kids (think Brady Bunch with 5 boys and 1 girl - see her over there - she shoots arrows constantly at the boys) - ranging 4 to 18. Point is there are no adults only anything so I will live jealously and vicariously through your report .

By the way hehe - TPS reports actually did exist at one point. In the military - they are / were software Test Procedure or Protocol Specifications - see what a nerd I am.. - I helped oversee Y2K AF conversions (we like acronyms - I was an O3 at that time). Today we refer to them more as Software Validation Protocols and Reports as Office Space kind of forced a change in meaning (now refers to more of wasted garbage type things you have to do which actually could be most lol). The cover sheets contain approvals showing they are complete.

 

[jwwi]

looking forward to hearing about your grown up trip to WDW! Someday I will stay at the Poly...

 

[glennbo123]

Does Hilton Head count? I mean, it's Disney property.

Yeah, I suppose. But WDW is still the elusive great white whale of a parents-only trip. And I always say that we bought into DVC when I had the realization that I would like to go to Disney without the kids, so it wasn't a purchase that we would grow out of.

1 Judy!

Hey, sssssh.

 

[franandaj]

Office Space
Predator
Gladiator
The Simpsons

Well, maybe I saw half of those. A long, long, long time ago.

Well, it'll be harder to travel together once she leaves for school. What with summer jobs and everything.

True. I never went back home (to live) once I left for school, but I didn't turn down a family vacation to Hawaii when my folks offered it three years into college!

We've been trying hard! Thankfully much of his financial affairs were in order.

Well Fran handled all her parent's taxes for as long as I've known her, so it wasn't a matter of not being in order. We just didn't get the figures to the accountant until about three weeks before the death taxes were required to be filed.

Cleaning out the house was a big job.

It took us 18 months to start the process (estate sale, moving out what didn't sell, painting, remodeling). My track record isn't so good.

So you haven't watched Predator lately?

I suspect that movie is in a genre of movie that is not on my watch list.

I thought you might be game for that as well.

Well I'm not as good at it as some of the DIS Dads, but I do my best.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

excited to follow along-- you're off to a fun start! My partner and I have no kids (yet!) and we love our grownup only trips each year... In fact we already have plans for eventual childcare so we can keep taking them when we really have kids! So... I understand the desire for your trip!

It's really amazing how different the experience is with/without kids. In so many ways it's a lot easier without!

Joining in. We are going on our first no kids trip in October . Our kids are older so no bribes needed. It is part my 50th birthday - part holy cow we are empty nesters now trip. Can't wait. Food and Wine adults only - should be a wee bit different.

No bribes? Wow, that must be nice. I have long been interested in trying the Food & Wine festival but Christmas won out this time around. Sounds like you'll have a blast!

Hay! Mindless garbage of this proportion….

I mean…
Repartee of this caliber takes time to properly compose.

Absolutely. It takes a lot of time to write this garbage in the first place.

Bills come together?
Who knew…

I thought they were just written by lobbyists and then handed directly to their highest paid “elected” lackey.

Well, that's one way. The other is to insert tons of unrelated pork barrel spending to buy some votes.

Well you’ve got’s ya’ a choice on that one.

1) R-O-L-A-I-D-S

2) P-F-F-F-F-T


Of course proper etiquette requires you request the pulling of one’s finger before using option two.

Etiquette is certainly important 'round these parts.

Or independently wealthy…

I don't know anyone in those circles.

This has got to be the only recorded instance in human history where the existence of bacon might possibly have led to a negative outcome.

Of course - and as you correctly point out - had you not earned your official Delta-Tau-Chi name in this instance, you likely wouldn’t be writing about all the suffering at the Polly you and your better had to endure.

All's well that ends well. I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Averages are merely that…
Averages.

You’ve no way to know.
And if you’re anything like me, your guesses are usually wrong
(at least that’s what Andy says)

Not if I keep eating all of these burgers.

+1

And that’s a good thing for y’all.

Pop was a widower before my young’en was born and MIL was on her own about the time the boy turned four.
It seemed a bit unfair to be asking of them.

Such is life.

Understood. Everyone's in a different place.

Wish I had a whole lot more of that particular verity of stupid.

You and me both.

Can’t be letting them raise themselves, now can we.

Seems like more and more parents are making that choice.

“Well I’ll tell you…”


But first I recommend you assume the position…

OK, ready?
Good, here’s your answer on the effectiveness of denial:


It ain’t.

What was that? I had bananas in my ears.

Well at least they only got up to Number-8.

Number 10 would have been troubling.

If you’d have just let me know, we’d have gladly taken on those burdens for you.


Or would that have been too perilous?
Because I’d still be willing to go back and face the peril.

Oh, no, it's much too perilous.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Joining in! Must've been hard slumming at the Polynesian...I'll have to read along and see how you suffered

It was agony! Pure agony!

Doing our first kid free trip 4/15-4/19. Can't wait read along!

Life has gotten in the way so just signing up now.

CJ! Thanks for making the time.

Hi Mark! I guess I was a little oblivious you had started this TR. Thanks for the signal! Love the adults only trip for you two. Mega important for your marriage. My mom once told me if you don't take time for just the two of you, one day your kids will be grown and gone, you will look up and realize you don't know each other. Smart lady my mom.

Tammie! I totally agree. Always looking to make time alone with the missus. We want to keep this going strong for a long time!

We did WDW without kids after 24 years of marriage. Had so much fun we did a Disney cruise the next year to celebrate our 25th! Looking forward to hearing about your getaway. Sounds like you are good parents, BTW.

Sounds awesome! And thank you!

1 Judy!

+1


Wait a sec...

Interesting story and clears up a lot, but based on the end result, can you actually claim you screwed it up the first time? I mean you did end up with bacon. .....and Julie..... no order of importance implied.

Those are both very good points.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

What??? I never look at Disboards at work. :rolleyes

By the way, have you seen my stapler?

Was it red? Swingline?

Um...no.

Wow you're smart! You should be a rocket scientist or an engineer or something.

Dang straight. About time you realized th--HEY!

This is the big one.

We always appreciate a good movie quote, Jerk-face.

Ask yourself: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

You've got 8 years as a parent on me and I understand it. You're overdue for a break.

You know what? I could use another one. I am not making that up.

Gotta appreciate grandparents who are so willing and able to step in and help.

Worth their weight in gold!

You're such a kind and benevolent dictator.

Yes. Yes, I am.

Looking forward to reading another one of your Trip Reports, especially an adults only TR for you and the missus. We took a Disney Cruise followed by a day at EPCOT for our 20th anniversary without the kids and it was awesome. This year will be our 25th anniversary, and while we will be in Orlando during that time, it will with kids and primarily celebrating DD18's High School graduation. She has chosen Universal Studios. I hope by reading this that I can better imagine spending our 25th in our favorite hangout by ourselves.

Let me guess: Harry Potter fan? Sometime we're going to have to take the plunge there too.

Oh, and Mike!

NICE! I'm hoping that you got to spend lots of time there and took many pictures. That's one of my fantasy hotels to stay at Disney.

Well, we took some photos. I have to admit, we were going hard in the parks and didn't actually spend as much time there as we'd hoped.

This needs to get started. I have nothing to read while at work.

And sorry about that. Nothing is worse than having to work at work. Hoping to have the first chapter up tomorrow.