Using the same baby name as family?

[Disneybuckeye]

IMHO it is an upbringing issue and I do not think either side is right or wrong. That being said, if you are in the not reuse name camp you are allowed to be upset if it bothers you.

I had a SIL use DS's name for her son born two years later. It greatly bothered me and her brother (my DH) and her older sister both told her it was wrong, but she did not care. It still annoys me, but it is what it is. I can tell you no one on my side of the family reuses first names for first or second cousins. A couple of us reused middle names of Grandparents.

It will be interesting if my kids ever have kids. There are 24 male first cousins on DH's side. That is 23 names since my oldest son's name was used twice (and they were #5 & #8 in birth order). There are also five male second cousins. That is a lot of names off the table. Strangely there are only 5 females in all the first and second cousins.

 

[design_mom]

My extended family has a lot of reused names -- tons of Mikes, Patricks and Johns for the boys. They end up being Big John and Johnny, or Pat's Mike and John's Mike. The girls side has lots of Mary-Somethings (Mary Beth, Mary Jo, Mary Ann, Mary Ellen, etc) and Catherine's with every nickname variation (Katie, Cathy, Kat, Cath, etc.)

Even though there are a ton of reused names in my generation and my parents' generation, my parents didn't use family names and none of the cousins in my generation used the family names as first names (plenty of them as middle names but each kid has an individual first name.) I would have been a little miffed -- probably not enough to ruin a relationship over though -- if one of my cousins picked the same first name for their children as I picked for mine and I crossed a number of potential names off our list when cousins named their kids. Although nobody "owns a name" the whole point of having a name is to make you identifiable. If everyone is named the same thing, what's the point?

As an aside, my husband's cousin adopted a baby girl three weeks before my wedding. They introduced her to the family at our wedding. (Many people didn't even know she'd been adopted.) They gave her my first name, and her last name is my married last name. So many of his extended family were introduced to both of us, with the same name, on the same day. We're separate generations and don't see each other very often, so it's worked out fine. However, our gmail addresses are similar and sometimes I get e-mail that's intended for her.

 

[keh422]

We do not reuse names within the same generation in my family. In fact, my cousins have had discussions in which they've "claimed" names. I'd be bummed if one of my family members used a name that I was hoping to use, but I would find another name. Most of my cousins are female, and three of us married guys with the same name. Two of my other cousins' husbands share a name as well, and it gets confusing.

 

[StephMK]

OP, I can understand being upset. I would not mind if someone used a family name, but a random individual name should be off limits. We nixed any of DH's nieces or nephew names for that reason. DS has a middle name that relates to DH and my brother. DB did not use it but I would not have cared if he did since he also has a connection to the name. I guess all you can do is look at it as a form of flattery since you can't change her mind.

 

[Kellykins1218]

I think people should pick the names they like. Silly me.

 

[smitch425]

I think people should pick the names they like. Silly me.

People will over analyze ANYTHING! Lol!

Generally speaking...
Name your kids what you want to name them! It is your legal right. Otherwise, there would not be kids in the world named Apple and North. If people take issue with the name you give your child, that is THEIR problem to get over, not yours. If they are offended, big whoop. Lol

And how do "family names" get started if it isn't "okay" to repeat a name?? Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Such nonsense. Lol

 

[pigletgirl]

I think people should pick the names they like. Silly me.

Even if someone in the family used the name recently?

If anything, use it as a middle name. Saves you a lifetime of confusion.

 

[pigletgirl]

I think people should pick the names they like. Silly me.

Even if someone in the family used the name recently?

If anything, use it as a middle name. Saves you a lifetime of confusion.

 

[jrmasm]

Even if someone in the family used the name recently?

If anything, use it as a middle name. Saves you a lifetime of confusion.

Yes, even if someone in the family used the name recently.

 

[Kellykins1218]

Even if someone in the family used the name recently?

If anything, use it as a middle name. Saves you a lifetime of confusion.

Yes, even if someone else in the family used it. Just because someone was able to give birth first doesn't mean you should give up the name of your choice. If you love the name, use it.

 

[pigletgirl]

Huh, it wouldn't even occur for me to use a name that a cousin used for their child. Eh, at least we all can choose whatever we want for our kids. That just isn't something I would do.

 

[Paradise18]

My husband's aunt made a comment after we announced what we were going to name our daughter that if any of her children ever had a daughter there would be two "Janes" in the family. I didn't know at the time that "Jane" was the aunt's deceased MIL's name. I thought it was funny that she was naming her future grandchildren and wondered if her sons knew, but my MIL (sister of the aunt) made a comment that left me with the impression she was upset that I was using the name for my daughter. So far the aunt has 4 grandsons and 0 granddaughters, lol.

 

[JanaDee]

Even if someone in the family used the name recently?

If anything, use it as a middle name. Saves you a lifetime of confusion.

I have three 2nd cousins named the same thing on my side of the family. They were all born within 5 years of each other and it is not a common name. It may have raised an eyebrow or 2 way back when they were born, but no one gives a thought to it today. It just isn't a big deal.

 

[tvguy]

I read your title as having the first name the same as the family name, so Ryan Ryan. That I hate.
As for cousins having the same first name, no biggie, I have the same first name as an older cousin, but our parents always have called us by our middle names.

 

[blana]

I have two first cousins with the exact same name ( first, middle, last) and DS's name is the same as one of my first cousin's son. So, I can't say too much about anyone naming their child the same as a relative. Especially when you're talking about second cousins with the same first name.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

No. There are a million and one name's out there, you can easily find another one you like. Imo, you cannot claim a name

 

[dbarker]

I have a cousin that she and I share first and middle same names. I just spell my middle name differently from hers. She is about 3 years older than me and we were around each other a lot when I was little. No big deal.

 

[disney4us2002]

Whenever these threads pop up, I always wonder, how often do you see your family or how much family do you have? I guess because we have so few, and cousins I have never met (mom was one of 10), I think, who cares? Just seems really weird to me.... My kids have many cousins, but they know and see 2. I think that matters, lol.

 

[NHdisneylover]

No. There are a million and one name's out there, you can easily find another one you like. Imo, you cannot claim a name

Well, we went through all 9 months of my second pregnancy trying to find another girl's name DH and I both liked. We never did and were so relieved to have a boy (from the naming side of things--otherwise we did not care one way or the other)--so it is not always easy.

As you go on to say: "you cannot claim a name" which means, to me, that no one has the right to say their child'S name cannot be used by someone else (even a cousin, much less a second cousin).

 

[jdb in AZ]

I know a Carol Cook who had a 2nd cousin also named Carol Cook. Their parents figured the two girls would rarely cross paths, so it wasn't a big deal. The girls ended up in the same classroom in elementary school.

Two of my sisters and a cousin all married guys named Craig. It was confusing at first, but the family rolled with it.

DH's family had a Joseph for about 8 straight generations, usually uncle to nephew instead of father to son. Our son was the last one with that name. We felt kinda bummed that his son was not given that name as well, but now we're glad the grandson has his own name and identity. DD thought about naming her son Joseph to carry on the tradition but doesn't want to name a kid after her brother.