Traveling with Grandparents

[EmmaCate]

We are taking our second trip to WDW in less than a year in February. Last time I went with just my husband and two little girls. I had a detailed touring plan and we pushed ourselves pretty hard. We had a great time and did a lot. This time we are going with both sets of grandparents. We are so excited that they are coming, but know that they really can't keep up with the way we would tour if it was just us. At least two of them have some mobility issues. Does anyone have tips for planning a trip where you are wanting to include everyone, but aren't sure how much they will be able to participate? Trying to figure out FastPass+ seems especially daunting to me.

 

[tabrizia]

Can you ask them how long they think they will be able to handle the parks and what attractions they most want to do? Then you can schedule your plans around them for the hours they figure they will be there, and make FP+ arrangements for those rides/attractions. You can then just schedule your family for the times they likely won't be there and if they can make it great, come along, if not you have your basic plans laid out for when they aren't there.

 

[scrapquitler]

This sounds like touring together for a while in the morning for a few hours, then each going your own way for the afternoon, and maybe meeting up again for dinner in the evening might be a good approach.

 

[Angel Ariel]

I think everyone knowing they have the freedom to come and go as they need to is key. We're going with grandparents to DLR in November. We have TS meals reserved with them, but beyond that if they say they don't want to come into the park when we do, that's OK. Or if they want to head back to the hotel for a break (our hotel is walking distance to the park), then that's OK too and we'll meet up later. I am also very much going to try to take this trip slower in general. Not just because they are with us, but because we want to as well.

 

[Dominion]

I think everyone knowing they have the freedom to come and go as they need to is key. We're going with grandparents to DLR in November. We have TS meals reserved with them, but beyond that if they say they don't want to come into the park when we do, that's OK. Or if they want to head back to the hotel for a break (our hotel is walking distance to the park), then that's OK too and we'll meet up later. I am also very much going to try to take this trip slower in general. Not just because they are with us, but because we want to as well.

We went with my parents 2 years ago and going with them again in 2 weeks. I think setting an expectation that they don't have to keep up with you for as long as you are in the park is key. My parents usually came with us in the morning and then lasted until just after lunch. At that point, they usually said they'd had enough and went back to the hotel where we would meet them later at the resort and go to dinner together. On this trip, I'm already anticipating possibly even going to the parks earlier and having them meet us a little later b/c I know my mom isn't really a morning person. Flexibility helps a lot!!

 

[DisneyDreams15]

My parents were with us on our first family trip last year. They did an amazing job keeping up (I was truly very surprised) with my all day touring style. This coming year they are coming along again but it seems my mom at least decided that last year was too much and will likely be using a wheelchair of some kind (they are getting up there in age and she has some major health issues). I say just talk to them about expectations and what they would like out of the trip. Even talk to them about specific attractions to gauge interest. Communication is key.

 

[chris31997]

I would also suggest that ones with mobility issues get wheelchairs either rent them or bring their own. It will help them in the long run. I would break your day down for family time, grandparent time(each set) and that gives you alone time. Getting an idea what they want to see and do will help with that. Lower your expectations about seeing and doing everything. Take this trip slower and smell the roses, find the Hidden Mickeys, find the magic in the time you get to spend with family.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

Wow, just how old are all of your parents? 80?

 

[Nancyg56]

LOL! I know! I was thinking the same thing. We travel with my DD and her family and have a blast! We do not have mobility issues, but if one of us did, we would use a scooter. I think that you all should set an expectation so that when the time comes, no one is upset by the touring styles of others. Do you plan on slowing down for the Grands, or will they need to keep up or hit the bench? I am not being snide, but this is one thing that you all should figure out before you even start and someone winds up with hurt feelings. You are used to moving and if two of you will not be able to keep up, who compromises? You and the movers or the slower ones? I think that in our family we would slow down for the most part. We night head back out later and bang out what we missed, but we would leave no one behind who wanted to participate. But Is this a plan for you? It may or may not be, and it is not always an easy decision.

If this was my DDIL's family, everyone in the group would need to be together all day every day, no allowances made. Not one.
Our family? We plan on meals together, figure out who wants to do what, make sure that if someone wants to head back to the resort they know we are all fine with it, and if someone wants to snooze in that is okay as well. We are used to traveling in a largish group with an assortment of family who might join in for a day or two here and there, making the group even larger. The only thing I ask of those stragglers is that if they want to join us for a meal hey commit when I make ADR's or take their chances later.

 

[Iowajes]

One of the keys to extended family vacations for us has been "not everyone has to do all the things".

Figure out when you want to be together, and when you do not. Maybe they want a mid-day resort break, but you guys keep pushing. Or maybe you do breakfast and a few hours together then go your separate ways until dinner.

 

[LuvMyEAR]

Speaking from the grandparent side here....and as a veteran of numerous multi-generational trips!

DH and I appreciate that our stamina is waning as that of our DGSs is increasing and we cannot hope to keep up with them at every step. We have always stuck to the idea that there is NO need to stick together at all times, and that if our energy is flagging we are responsible for managing our own breaks, or sitting out an outing. After a week of touring in last September's oppressive heat, I rented a ECV for the MNSSHP. It made a huge difference and worth every penny that night.

If your parents are not easily able to manage their own downtime, you will have to make slightly more detailed accommodations. By this, I mean if they are not able to opt to leave a park and travel back to your resort for a break, or do not like the idea of spending time on their own in the parks. This was the case when we took my 89 yr old mother to WDW for the first time. We headed to the parks each day just past rope drop, and usually stayed until 2 or so, then headed back to our vacation house. We'd enjoy our pool, have a home-cooked meal, and head out again right after dinner. Worked well for the young ones, too. Often Mom would opt to pass on the evening outing. She was able to drive a scooter that trip, and walked a good deal, too. Two years later, at DLR, we used a regular wheelchair, but she loves DLR, and could still walk when she felt like it. We would take her back to the resort mid-day, and scoop her up again at dinner time. We stayed onsite there, and it was very convenient to be able to walk to the parks!

we are looking forward to our Nov trip with our grandsons, and this time DH has opted to only get a 2-day pass and MVMCP ticket. He wants some real down time on this trip and is also going to try to find some tennis players in the area. We love vacation rentals, because we enjoy having lots of space, as well as being under one roof. This time, we will get 2 cars so we can go in separate directions as desired. And he can always upgrade his pass if he finds he is missing out on the fun!

I hope you have a super magical trip and make loads of wonderful memories for everyone. Oh, we got the Memory Maker on our last trip...and LOVED it!

 

[Nancyg56]

Speaking from the grandparent side here....and as a veteran of numerous multi-generational trips!

DH and I appreciate that our stamina is waning as that of our DGSs is increasing and we cannot hope to keep up with them at every step. We have always stuck to the idea that there is NO need to stick together at all times, and that if our energy is flagging we are responsible for managing our own breaks, or sitting out an outing. After a week of touring in last September's oppressive heat, I rented a ECV for the MNSSHP. It made a huge difference and worth every penny that night.



I hope you have a super magical trip and make loads of wonderful memories for everyone. Oh, we got the Memory Maker on our last trip...and LOVED it!

I am the Nana here and I also know that one day I will fall apart! LOL! WE take advantage of the invitations to join our family as often as possible and like you, we respect that we all have different levels of stamina. I really think that planning ahead and then respecting that not everyone in the group will stay together at all times is a key for success. Best to know ahead of time what the expectations are though, because no one wants to be THAT family....you know the one...storming out of Epcot becasue Junior is tired or Gram just cannot walk anymore and there are more booths to visit.

I think that we get invited because we not only like to see everyone head off, we always offer to keep the kids. Some of my best memories in Disney include the ones that I am strolling alone with my granddaughter, and getting to hear her perspective of whatever we are doing together. The last trip I grabbed the little one while the rest of the lightweights were snoozing, and we had such a nice time together. Disney through the eyes of a 5 Year old is pretty stinkin cool!

 

[andiraye]

OP, we had almost the exact same back story as you. We went as a family of 4 a little over a year ago and pushed ourselves hard, letting our littlest one fall asleep in the stroller while the rest of us watched fireworks after having spent the entire day in the park since rope drop. Then, this year, we went back with my parents.

We approached our trip with my parents a little bit differently. We knew that they weren't quite going to have the same stamina as DH and me. But we also knew that it was a once in a lifetime trip -- a three generation vacation that my parents and my kids would treasure always -- and that the main thing was that everyone was together and enjoying themselves. So we took it slower, scheduled 4 park days and spent 1/2 to 3/4 of the day in a park on each of those. We also scheduled 2 full days by the pool. We looked at it as a vacation, with a bunch of Disney mixed in, as opposed to a gotta-do-it-all Disney vacation.

My dad in particular tends to lose patience, so we reminded him before the trip that if he was having a hard time with the chaos that comes with two kids, it was TOTALLY OK for him to take a taxi back to the hotel. He never did, but he did take a drive to visit his brother, who lives nearby, on one of his non-park days.

The truth is, we all just tried to be respectful, and it really all worked out great. Even though every single one of us had a meltdown at one point or other, we all had an absolutely amazing time. My kids was deliriously happy, and my parents were the great big kids I remembered them being at WDW when I was a child. Which is how it should be.

 

[micfan]

It's much easier if you are staying on property, that way the GP's can utilize Disney transportation to come and go as they please without disrupting everyone else's plans.

 

[Glite]

Does anyone know if there is any discounts through AAA or AARP? My mom is planning on coming with us on our next trip to WDW and wanted to fins out for her. Thanks in advance.

 

[rachwitt83]

Ive traveled with grandparents and would never do it again. too stressful!

 

[VandVsmama]

Traveling with a mixture of generations can be challenging even on non-Disney vacations. For us, it would not work out very well because both my dad and my husband's mom are not very good at speaking up for themselves and sometimes they become very impatient when they don't get things their way. My dad is not very good with my kids and loses his cool in a very childish way. So when we vacation, we don't do it with him in tow.

Other grandparents are high needs because of medical issues but the grandparent opts to not take care of oneself, leading to feeling ill and suddenly everything is derailed.

Or there are also situations in which the grandparent wants to go all day with you but you know that they can't kept up and they refuse to take a break and rest.

A multigenerational trip requires good communication, setting expectations, and repeating those expectations. Plus everybody needs some down time from each other during the trip...ESPECIALLY if you don't live near each other and don't see each other too often.

 

[Nancyg56]

Traveling with a mixture of generations can be challenging even on non-Disney vacations. For us, it would not work out very well because both my dad and my husband's mom are not very good at speaking up for themselves and sometimes they become very impatient when they don't get things their way. My dad is not very good with my kids and loses his cool in a very childish way. So when we vacation, we don't do it with him in tow.

Other grandparents are high needs because of medical issues but the grandparent opts to not take care of oneself, leading to feeling ill and suddenly everything is derailed.

Or there are also situations in which the grandparent wants to go all day with you but you know that they can't kept up and they refuse to take a break and rest.

A multigenerational trip requires good communication, setting expectations, and repeating those expectations. Plus everybody needs some down time from each other during the trip...ESPECIALLY if you don't live near each other and don't see each other too often.

What a shame! Those Grands are missing out on so much! my DH and I are lucky because we are invited on just about every trip any of our adult children takes. WE do nto always go, but we do appreciate the invitation. WE also make sure we stay out of what does nto concern us while we are vacationing.

My sister tries to plan trips with her kids, but so far a true family trip has never happened. SH is kind an generous, but HOLY CONTROLLING! SO she vits, but that's it.

 

[LuvMyEAR]

EmmaCate, I hope your plans are coming together and that all the adults are getting a feel for what's ahead....without feeling overwhelmed, or building up unreasonable expectations. Make a pact to be as kind and considerate of one another as possible at all times. That doesn't mean that anyone gives in to the wishes of anyone else at all times! Because another kind, considerate person would never expect that, right?

Essentially, as adults, you have responsibility to ensure that you contribute to the joy of the trip. That includes making sure that you rest when necessary, eat properly, and take care of yourself. Do NOT be expecting someone else to shoulder that responsibility. Be prepared to lend a hand whenever possible. Dress sensibly each day. Break in your walking shoes and get those legs ready!

There will be compromises, and everyone needs to make their fair share. It is a beautiful thing when you can share a multi-generational trip of this kind.