To use a Leash or not use one?

[bwilcox]

Wow! I'm not sure I've ever seen so many parenting and child development experts in one place!
OP: If it will make you feel safe, use the leash. You'll know within the first couple of hours if it works for you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says to you. As a parent, your priority is to do what YOU feel is best to keep your kids safe. Using or not using a leash for a week at WDW will not in any way damage your children. Have fun!

 

[zuka]

First let me say I hate leashes. BUT even if I didn't I think 4 yr olds without special needs are too old to have to be on leashes. IMO a 4 yr old is old enough to know to stay with you. We had a 4 yr old there during Easter week and had no problem at all. We didn't use a stroller either. Like I said I think a 4 yr old should know to stay with their group.

I have to disagree. We are very vigilant about teaching our children boundaries, respect, etc.. etc.. and I have tried EVERYTHING to get our 4 y.o daughter to stay near by at the store, mall etc..... She is not special needs and has an extremely hard time managing her energy. I am definitely leashing her for some of our trip. I have explained to her that it is to keep her safe and she is ok with it. My 6 year old daughter is begging to hold the leash, which I have refused because I think that would be degrading to my 4 year old to have big sis "walking her" on a leash. This is JMO.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I have to disagree. We are very vigilant about teaching our children boundaries, respect, etc.. etc.. and I have tried EVERYTHING to get our 4 y.o daughter to stay near by at the store, mall etc..... She is not special needs and has an extremely hard time managing her energy. I am definitely leashing her for some of our trip. I have explained to her that it is to keep her safe and she is ok with it. My 6 year old daughter is begging to hold the leash, which I have refused because I think that would be degrading to my 4 year old to have big sis "walking her" on a leash. This is JMO.

I have to ask a question here. Please know that I am not being snarky but this always boggles my mind when the leash question comes up.
If your child cannot control herself normally why would using a leash be any different? If she is acting up do you pull up on the leash? Does she strain against it to get away? I am just not understanding how a 4 foot lead line would make any difference in the child's behavior if the kid can't stand next to you normally. Again- not being snarky. I just don't get it.

OP- We do not use leashes. We also have not created children with no self esteem and frustration problems. But hey- the poster who mentioned that gave me a good laugh. If you want to use them that is your business but no- we don't use them.

 

[bumbershoot]

I only have 1 dd, and by 4 she had the whole "you must stay with mommy or you go in the stroller" concept down. I feel like for the vast majority of 4 year olds it should be a lesson they have learned. That bieng said, I realize that little kids do forget the rules in all the excitement of disney ect, and amy forget the rules learned at home. I could see how one getting away form you in a crowd of 7 couldbe a problem. I say if a leash makes you feel more secure and your kids will actually wear it without throwing a fit then go for it. I personally wouldn't do it with just my DD, or evn with 2 or 3, but then again I don't have 7 kids to keep up with either.

See...the stroller is OK, but a harness isn't?

I agree with the rest, but still...we've only ever used strollers on fitness walks OR at Disney, so there isn't any time when we could have, even if we wanted to, say "walk here or get in the stroller".

She is happy, well adjusted, outgiong, independent, and has high self esteem. No problems here. A four year old is perfectly capable of paying attention and staying with the group.

As I mentioned, my mom used harnesses with me and my brother in certain situations, and he and I are perfectly normal human beings with normal self-esteem. Well, I'd say my brother in on the higher end of normal for self-esteem and perhaps on the lower end of normal, but we average to normal, LOL.

No one here is talking about using them ALL of the time. Just for this situation with many kids and big crowds. However, I think the OP should have practiced with them, so that this trip isn't the first time the kidlets are dealing with them.

 

[Schmeck]

OP - 6 kids, how many adults? Would it make more sense to have two double strollers for the infants and pre-schoolers?

 

[lathamary]

I have no problem with people using harnesses, either, but that comment of yours is just plain rude.

I understand how it could be seen as harsh, and that was not my intent.

I am envisioning what I see all the time - parents berating their children for not paying attention. Kids are easily distracted, and that's a normal part of development. Kids whose parents expect them to act like adults, or parents who are constantly trying to keep their kids in line, or parents who constantly make their kids feel like they're not doing well enough - that is what I see a lot of. It's good to parent your child where they're at - and all kids are at different stages of development. There is no such thing as "should or shouldn't be able to" at a certain age. Some parents expect things from their children that are not developmentally appropriate for that child. This I know from experience. This, I know, results in frustrated kids with low self esteem.

 

[Applemomma]

To the OP....here's something to consider. Keep in mind that you are going to be in crowds. If you are using a tether ( I don’t really like the word “leash”) you will still have to worry about where your child is since that tether now becomes a trip wire for other guests and yourself so sometimes having them hold your hand, or everyone has their hands on a stroller strategy, will be much less stressful for you.

If you make it a fun rule that you are using a “buddy system” or a train (everybody holds a stroller or something like a purse strap) you’ll still know where everyone is and still be connected. And the four year olds may surprise you and be the bosses, reminding everyone of the rules. Don’t underestimate the seven year olds abilities to corral the four year olds too!

I kind of agree that on first impression four seems a little old for a tether but like others have said only you know your child. There are tons of issues, medical, behavioural and otherwise, where a tether is hands down the best way to go.

Worst use of a tether I’ve ever seen? Two 8-10 year olds, with heelies, going down a ramp with their mother desperately holding onto the ends of the leashes…..that one darn near “clotheslined” us! Don’t go there…….

To everyone else….let’s keep this conversation civil please? This is a hot button issue for a lot of people but let’s be respectful and not get too hot…..

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I don't like them, and I didn't use them when my kids were in that age range.

 

[LuLuO]

OP:

What about a walking rope? I think someone on here mentioned one or something similar a few posts back and another mentioned making it a game. I remember seeing Jon and Kate use one with their little kids (I know - Blah to Jon and Kate) but it seemed to work okay. You could have one adult at the back and one at the front leading the way and if there are more adults in your group then you could have one on either side.

Also, with six kids I would have each adult be a buddy with assigned kid(s) that way you know who is watching whom.

Here are some walking ropes:

http://www.google.com/products?hl=e...esult_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBkQrQQwAA

 

[carj]

Be very careful that you keep the children in front of you. The minute they wander in front of someone else, they can be in danger.

We were at Sea World last week in a crowd of people and a toddler on a leash wandered between my husband and daughter. My husband knocked him over. I saw it happen and the child was on the ground before I could speak. My husband apologized but the parents were visibly annoyed. There was not a major injury but there could have been. My husband felt terrible for knocking the kid over. I have never used the leashes on our kids but I think that if you choose to use one, you still have to vigillant about where the child is.

 

[rodeo65]

We just took our first trip with the kids last June and were concerned about crowds and DS8's distractibility due to his ADHD. Something can catch his attention and we are forgotten. This is not an issue with DD7. Since we had a concern about keeping him close to us in the crowds we got what I call wristies. They are elasticized wristbands that attach to him and to us - really just an extension of hand holding. We got one for DD as well since no way would the 8 yr old wear one without his little sister having one as well. She was great about it and so was he. HE had his own concerns about getting lost in the crowds, because he knows how distracted he can get.

We took them into the parks every time but found that we only needed it some of the time when it got particularly busy. Mostly they held our hands but it was hot and got kind of sweaty, so were happy to let go and just have the security of the wrist hold.

We made it their responsibility to make sure they didn't go around people coming the other direction and elastic band them. We never had that problem and DH, DS and I all felt much more secure.

I'm sure you'll do what makes you feel most comfortable and safe with your children. How others see this is of no concern - they're your kids.

 

[Ellen.and.Joey]

I think it is up to the parents. I am planning on bring one for my 5 year old with Down syndrome and I am prepared to tell anyone making remark about it that I know he is safe and happ and that is all that matters!! I also plan to use a bracelett of somekind and have our cell numbers on it and maybe even a note in his shirt. His is nonverbal, uses signs and PECS. he can communicate and I know when he sees Mickey or Goofy he will go wild to get to them. They are favorites. So Yes use a leash or tether for your own piece of mind and for their safety. there are many types of tags for shoes too so that you can have them marked.

Hope it helps. we go in July

 

[fairyprincess1]

It's all in what you are confortable with... We used a leash on our first trip with DS at age 3. At age 4, we brought it along, but didn't need to use it. He preferred to ride in the stroller or hold one of our hands. But there were 2 of us to 1 of him... When there are a lot of people around, plus you have infants, there will definitely be times when your attention may not be on the 4 year olds 100%, so if it is piece of mind to have them on a leash, then go ahead. It is about keeping your kids are safe... and you are the one who knows your kids the best.

 

[chrisw127]

As a twin mom, I totally get where you're coming from. I used them at Disney when my twins were 20 months. The ONLY reason I didn't use them this past December when they were 32 months was because we forgot them. The funny thing is, I didn't get a lot of looks when I used them. Mostly just smiles. I did get a nasty look from one lady who was about 70. I figure she was just too old to remember what it was like to chase a willful toddler around.

My twins loved them. In fact, my daughter would take them out of the closet after we got home and ask to go for a walk. Twins don't get as much opportunity to run around like most kids because it's very difficult for one person to chase after two small children at once. This gives them a bit of freedom and gives you some peace of mind. Go for it.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I wholeheartedly disagree with this, and can confidently say that the author knows nothing about child psychology or development.

Four year olds, by their nature, are easily distracted, and that is normal and good. They're curious about the world. It is not their responsibility to keep up with you. It is your responsibility, as a parent, to keep them safe and make sure they're where they need to be. If they lose their way, it's not their fault, it's yours.

If you, as a parent, expect that much of a four year old, then you are not well informed parent and will end up with frustrated kids with self esteem problems.

I am an educator, and have taught K4-K5 and I agree with the PP, so some people with knowledge of child development DO hold that opinion.
I fully expected my 4 year old to pay attention to where she was, what was gonig on, and how close she was to mommy. Yes, she forogt, and I was paying attention and reminded her. That is how she learned not to stray. I kept up with where she was and what she was doing at all times, but didn't always let her know that. She is happy, well adjusted, outgiong, independent, and has high self esteem. No problems here. A four year old is perfectly capable of paying attention and staying with the group. I think you are selling a child short by NOT asking them to do something they are perfectly capable of doing, and that can cause dependency issues. Yes, at four they are going to have lapses, and that is where the responsible adult comes in, but they should be learning that they need to pay attention and be responsible for staying with the group. If a child always counts on mommy to keep track of where they are, they are much more likely to stray. What about preschool? Kids have to be aware of thier surroundings and where the group is when moving between locations and on field trips where they don't have mommy with them to take care of that. There is one teacher and usually at least 8 of them. She cannot hold all their hands our put them all on a leash every time they go to the playground or the bathroom. I am not always going to be there to watch over dd, and feel it is my duty as a parent to teach her to take more and more responsibility as she gets older.

How can you keep a leash on a 4 or 5 year old? If you can't keep them from running off, how do you get them to keep the leash on?

 

[lucyem]

My first son was very well behaved and stuck with us. My second gets a little grin on his face and runs. Personally if I were concerned about having to chase two 4 yr olds at Disney then I would certainly get them those teddy bear leash/harness things. They may not be needed and they may be perfectly happy to lounge in a stroller. But one never knows and it is always better to be safe then sorry. An overstimulated, overtired young child in Disney with crowds makes me nervous.

It is one thing to teach your child responsibility and independence when at home under normal conditions, I totally agree. It is something I work on daily with my 4 yr old. Disney is not the normal everyday thing.

 

[Jenn4615]

I use one in Disney on my one year old. I have had more people tell me good for you...than anything else. I only had one guy in Disney make a rude comment last time and another guy heard and stuck up for me!

 

[princessmom29]

I use one in Disney on my one year old. I have had more people tell me good for you...than anything else. I only had one guy in Disney make a rude comment last time and another guy heard and stuck up for me!

I think a one year old and a four year old are completely different cases. If I had a one year old who refused to stay in a stroller i would likely use one if I didn't have any help. A one year old really isn't capable of staying with you, or a group and shouldn't be expected to. I personally prefer strollers to leashes because I don't have to worry about my child falling down and getting jerked by the leash, or tripping soemone else up with it, but faced with a child of that age that absolutely will not ride in a stroller it would have to be at least one of the viable options. A four year old is old enough to understand that they have to stay with mom, a one year old is not. To me that is the difference here. For me, by the time they are four it is a discipline issue and not a developmental one.

 

[Jenn4615]

I agree... I have a four year old. I wouldn;t leash her... But she would stay with me. One second out of my site and she panics. I am just saying You see ALL AGES in disney...on the kid leash. Most people have the monkey leash and they are plentiful in Disney for sure!

Oops my daughter just turned 5! But she was four in December when we went to Disney...and She's been many a times! At almost 2 I tried to leash her and she wouldnt let me! I am betting those four year olds wont go for it!!

 

[starsweeper]

I often used them when my 3-year-olds were younger. Managing more than one toddler is quite difficult. One of them got away from me quickly one day, which is why I bought leashes in the first place. Yes, I got some ugly looks whenever I used them, but it was always from parents with one small child to manage.

When we went to WDW last Feb, we opted to take single strollers and force them to ride in the stroller often. We let them walk when we had the stroller parked in an area with several rides and two parents to hold hands. We plan to do the same on our trip in May. We could have used leashes, but I think it would have been more cumbersome, and possibly a safety hazard on some rides. Personally, I would take or rent strollers and talk to the 4-year-olds before the trip about what is expected of them (riding the stroller, etc.) and the consequence if they are difficult about it (time out, sit out on planned activity, etc.).