Tipping in the USA

[sk!mom]

Hello all! Wondering if you all can help. I am visiting the USA soon from Europe and am struggling with knowing when and where to tip - and how much! I know you need to tip at restaurants - we have done this during our prior trips - but we will be using more services this trip that I believe require a tip. So far I have:

- Valet parking
- Hotel staff delivering bags
- Being served at a bar

I am assuming that tips are unofficially essential for these services? I’m really struggling with when I need to tip for each service, and for how much. (For example, with valet parking, when do I tip the valet person? With the bar tender, do you tip when he gives you your drinks?)

Are there any other things we will be expected to tip for?

Is 18-20% still a respectable amount to tip for meals? (The last time we visited Florida was 2013 so I’m not sure if things have changed since then.)

Thanks very much for any advice you can offer - this whole concept is rather foreign to us and we want to make sure we are following customs!

Valet- $3-5 normally both when they take the car and return it. It often is not the same valet.
Bell services- $1 per bag/ If we each only have one bag (usual for us) we don't use bell services.
Bar- $1 per drink usually paid at the end when we close the tab since we almost always open a tab. At that time we normally make sure that it's at least 20% of the total.
18-20% for a meal is fine.

 

[Domo]

I always run out of $1 bills with which to tip and often don't feel ready to tip $5

 

[sk!mom]

I use to tip valet both ways until I met a few of their moms and found out they share tips, so now I just tip when they bring the car.

If you get your hair done, tip the person who washes and the stylist.

If I was going to "one way" tip the valet, I'd do it when they took my car. At least when they bring it back, you get in and drive away.

 

[_19disnA]

Tipping for valet is typically when they return the car. I don't tip them when I drop it off and rarely see anyone else doing that either. $1-2 to the valet when they return your car is acceptable. If they are loading luggage the usual amount is $1 per bag, much like those at the airport who help with your luggage, such as a rental car bus.

 

[DeniseJH]

Tipping for valet is typically when they return the car. I don't tip them when I drop it off and rarely see anyone else doing that either. $1-2 to the valet when they return your car is acceptable. If they are loading luggage the usual amount is $1 per bag, much like those at the airport who help with your luggage, such as a rental car bus.

This is what I've always thought too. The same for bellhops taking your bags at a hotel - I tip them when they deliver the bags to the room. To me, the norm is to tip at the end of the service. Do many tip at both ends for bellhops and valets?

 

[_19disnA]

^^ Same way I see it, you tip for the service they have provided, not before they do anything. I rarely see anyone tip the valet when they first arrive. Typically, you tip the bellhop after they have completed handling your bags. Also don't tip housekeeping unless we have asked for extra towels or something above & beyond. If you are out of your room during the day, you may go the entire vacation without ever seeing anyone from housekeeping. Don't see a need tip them just because they did their job, much like you aren't expected to tip the person at the front desk who hands you the room key when checking in. Similarly, you don't tip the waitress when we first sit down, you tip at the end at the end of the meal when paying the bill.

Someone may choose to tip more, but the OP is asking what is typical.

 

[NotUrsula]

To be fair, no server works a 40 hour week. (I'm talking in one restaurant, of course.)

Also to be fair ... Yes, many of them do, especially those who work in hotels and/or private clubs where events are held. I used to very commonly do it, working upward of 16 hours in a single weekend day, starting with serving breakfast, then 6-8 weddings that ran back to back from noon until 3 am, then starting over again at 7 the next morning.

Normally if you work catering your gratuity is included in the bill, but how much of that gratuity you actually receive varies greatly. The best situation I was ever in was a place that split 50% of the gratuity among all servers who worked the event: for a $30K wedding with 20 servers that worked out to around $135 for the event before taxes, but that place was extraordinarily generous. (If the venue is not unionized, it it standard for the servers to also work setup and teardown, so for a 4-hour event, the servers will normally work 7 hours, including 2 for setup and one for teardown.) In hotels it isn't unusual for the same staff to work both the dining rooms and the catering events, so that they deal with both direct and indirect tipping systems from the same employer.

 

[rotlex]

The server is not making a drink for you in most restaurants, they are putting the order in the system and the fetching it from the bartender. Plus alcohol is charged a premium (because they can). Don't even get me started on ask why I should pay more tip if I order a $30 steak than if I order a $15 chicken dish. Why? The server isn't doing any more, they are still just delivering a plate.

If I have a $35 bill (~$4 of which is tax, for which the server did NOTHING, it's literally added on to your bill), the before tax cost is around ~$28-ish. 20% of $28 is about $5.60, which I would probably round up to $6 because I hate change.

Here's the thing, though. The server gets a "serving wage" of like $2 and change. I've given them $6, and have been at my table for 30 minutes to an hour+15 minutes. The server has at least 4 or 5 tables. So take a best case scenario - The server has 5 tables, all of which stay 30 minutes. That means they've had 10 tables in an hour. If every person paid them like I did, for a similar tab, they've got $60 for that hour. Minimum wage here is $10.50. Oh boohoo, servers. *crocodile tears*

Sorry, I'm not accepting any browbeating for this. Servers get what they get from me and that's it. They're already making plenty of money, even with the pitiful serving wage. AND not all of them report their tips, so they may not even be paying taxes on those tips, either.

I usually tip 15-20%, but the line I bolded is something I have thought for a LONG time. In our most recent Disney trip, we had a party of 8 and were "forced" and 18% tip at the Cape May buffet. The server was horrible to say the least, and pretty much just brought us a new drink occasionally and pointed us to where the food was. It bothered me so much I asked to speak to the manager and had the tip removed from the bill. She gave me a VERY hard time and I wound up leaving 10% to the server in cash.

What struck me in regards to your statement was that it was a $300+ meal and the woman would have gotten a $60+ tip for doing pretty much nothing. The waitress at my local diner works 10X harder for the breakfast rush alone and the meal averages $5-10. I usually tip her 50%. The whole tipping buy what the meal cost thing is just ridiculous to me.

 

[DeniseJH]

I usually tip 15-20%, but the line I bolded is something I have thought for a LONG time. In our most recent Disney trip, we had a party of 8 and were "forced" and 18% tip at the Cape May buffet. The server was horrible to say the least, and pretty much just brought us a new drink occasionally and pointed us to where the food was. It bothered me so much I asked to speak to the manager and had the tip removed from the bill. She gave me a VERY hard time and I wound up leaving 10% to the server in cash.

What struck me in regards to your statement was that it was a $300+ meal and the woman would have gotten a $60+ tip for doing pretty much nothing. The waitress at my local diner works 10X harder for the breakfast rush alone and the meal averages $5-10. I usually tip her 50%. The whole tipping buy what the meal cost thing is just ridiculous to me.

I know it used to be that the tip rate for servers at a buffet was less than "regular" dining. 18% is definitely too much for a buffet, I think.

 

[DeniseJH]

Also to be fair ... Yes, many of them do, especially those who work in hotels and/or private clubs where events are held. I used to very commonly do it, working upward of 16 hours in a single weekend day, starting with serving breakfast, then 6-8 weddings that ran back to back from noon until 3 am, then starting over again at 7 the next morning.

Normally if you work catering your gratuity is included in the bill, but how much of that gratuity you actually receive varies greatly. The best situation I was ever in was a place that split 50% of the gratuity among all servers who worked the event: for a $30K wedding with 20 servers that worked out to around $135 for the event before taxes, but that place was extraordinarily generous. (If the venue is not unionized, it it standard for the servers to also work setup and teardown, so for a 4-hour event, the servers will normally work 7 hours, including 2 for setup and one for teardown.) In hotels it isn't unusual for the same staff to work both the dining rooms and the catering events, so that they deal with both direct and indirect tipping systems from the same employer.

That's crazy! Even at my best 16 hours would have been a tough go.

 

[tvguy]

I always run out of $1 bills with which to tip and often don't feel ready to tip $5

Over on the cruise line forum folks suggested getting $2 bills for tipping.
I can't remember the last time I saw a $2 bill. I went to the bank and the young teller looked at me like I was crazy saying there are no $2 bills. But she checked with the manager and was shocked to learn the U.S. does have $2 bills, but they don't have any on hand. But they could have as many as I wanted sent over from the Federal Reserve in 3 days.

 

[NotUrsula]

I usually tip 15-20%, but the line I bolded is something I have thought for a LONG time. In our most recent Disney trip, we had a party of 8 and were "forced" and 18% tip at the Cape May buffet. The server was horrible to say the least, and pretty much just brought us a new drink occasionally and pointed us to where the food was. It bothered me so much I asked to speak to the manager and had the tip removed from the bill. She gave me a VERY hard time and I wound up leaving 10% to the server in cash.

What struck me in regards to your statement was that it was a $300+ meal and the woman would have gotten a $60+ tip for doing pretty much nothing. The waitress at my local diner works 10X harder for the breakfast rush alone and the meal averages $5-10. I usually tip her 50%. The whole tipping by what the meal cost thing is just ridiculous to me.

Please don't assume that any waiter actually gets 100% of a gratuity that is included as part of the check. Normally they get less than 50% of it as a tip; the rest goes to paying the hourly rate of all restaurant staff, including the waiters, buffet runners, bussers and the setup crew. It is standard practice for buffets and banquet serveries to cover all staffing costs out of that fee. (However, large parties have historically meant being under-tipped, especially at "family" restaurants where the oldest person at the table is often treating everyone. Sticker shock commonly sets in, and you get tipped at a rate that was common 40 years in the past. To add insult on injury, the presence of younger children usually means that there is extensive cleanup to be done before the table can be turned, if it is possible to turn it at all, because large parties often linger for hours to socialize.)

 

[DeniseJH]

Please don't assume that any waiter actually gets 100% of a gratuity that is included as part of the check. Normally they get less than 50% of it as a tip; the rest goes to paying the hourly rate of all restaurant staff, including the waiters, buffet runners, bussers and the setup crew. It is standard practice for buffets and banquet serveries to cover all staffing costs out of that fee. (However, large parties have historically meant being under-tipped, especially at "family" restaurants where the oldest person at the table is often treating everyone. Sticker shock commonly sets in, and you get tipped at a rate that was common 40 years in the past. To add insult on injury, the presence of younger children usually means that there is extensive cleanup to be done before the table can be turned, if it is possible to turn it at all, because large parties often linger for hours to socialize.)

The thing is, this isn't always the case. (Splitting tips, that is.) I'm not convinced that what you state is the norm, but I've never worked in a big city or "big" hotel. I have worked many banquets otherwise, and after a small percentage for bussers - if any, the tip was evenly divided among waitstaff that worked the party. I think it would be especially unusual for part of that tip to go towards other's hourly pay. My husband and I tip very well, but I'm never going to tip more because someone else's party didn't tip properly, or because they brought messy children and/or stayed too long.

Also, my husband, who has been in the restaurant business for 47 years, says the practice of paying anyone other than servers (for example, kitchen staff) out of a tip is illegal in New York State. Your mileage may vary, of course.

 

[jrmasm]

I usually tip 15-20%, but the line I bolded is something I have thought for a LONG time. In our most recent Disney trip, we had a party of 8 and were "forced" and 18% tip at the Cape May buffet. The server was horrible to say the least, and pretty much just brought us a new drink occasionally and pointed us to where the food was. It bothered me so much I asked to speak to the manager and had the tip removed from the bill. She gave me a VERY hard time and I wound up leaving 10% to the server in cash.

What struck me in regards to your statement was that it was a $300+ meal and the woman would have gotten a $60+ tip for doing pretty much nothing. The waitress at my local diner works 10X harder for the breakfast rush alone and the meal averages $5-10. I usually tip her 50%. The whole tipping buy what the meal cost thing is just ridiculous to me.

You can thank the IRS for that practice.

 

[sk!mom]

Tipping for valet is typically when they return the car. I don't tip them when I drop it off and rarely see anyone else doing that either. $1-2 to the valet when they return your car is acceptable. If they are loading luggage the usual amount is $1 per bag, much like those at the airport who help with your luggage, such as a rental car bus.

I disagree. I see many people tip when they take the car. Again, if I was going to one way tip, it would be when they took the car not when they brought it back. I tip a couple of bucks both ways because it is usually a different valet.