The Trip That Finally Made My Wife Haul Off And Slug Me In The Face (COMPLETED 10/2)

[happy wanderer]

Woot! Am so happy to see the beginning of this report...we are planning a road trip to Great Smoky Mountain NPS this spring.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

We cram ourselves into one minivan and drive around the country, in an epic quest to visit all 50 states. Because we are idiots.

Oh my god, that is just about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Second only to my wife saying "that's a good idea, let's steal it."

I’ve decided to skip all the usual introductory nonsense this time around because, as I mentioned, I’ve done it 10 times now and I’m running out of creative ways to introduce me and my family.

OK, well, then you can't get upset if I forget who is who. (First Base!)

We were visiting several points of interest along the way, but this trip just didn’t have that one show-stopper destination in the same way that

Well, they can't all contain Lambeau Field or head-sized cinnamon rolls

the Grand Canyon or Hawaiian Islands would be.

To MAY to, To MAH to.

We left I-66 at the town of Front Royal and drove to the northern entrance of Shenandoah National Park. This was one of the very first national parks we’d visited as a family, having driven the majority of its 105 miles back in 2010.

Ours too! And if my memory is correct, we drove the full 105 miles just a few weeks after you did.

The road actually connects with the Blue Ridge Parkway at the south end of the park. The Blue Ridge travels another 450 miles to Great Smoky Mountains National Park and gets its name from the bluish haze that seems to settle over the mountains most of the day.

On our way back from South Carolina this summer, we decided to take the scenic route and add about 4 hours to our drive and take a good portion of the BRP. Well worth it!

That tall one - with the sunglasses - I don't recall her name since there was no introductions, but she's my favorite. I bet she puts cheese on her PB & J.

We also got to play Frisbee golf, which is exactly as exciting as you think it is.

To spice it up, you can use circular saw blades rather than Frisbees.

Also, remind me never to get on my wife’s bad side, as she turned out to be a crack shot with a .357 Magnum.

Mrs. Know-it-all likes big boom!

 

[Cinderella's Fella]

Oh my god, that is just about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Second only to my wife saying "that's a good idea, let's steal it."

Who knew the Frozen Monkey still DIS'ed...

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Who knew the Frozen Monkey still DIS'ed...

Crazy, I know. Dipping my toes back into the DIS water. Might even pop back into the DDC one of these days. (Once I finish getting caught up over there!)

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Woohoo! A new Oblivious family TR! I'm in! Sounds like you're off to a great start!

Alison! Look at that. I've covered two days already!

Second!

Haven’t read a thing, though.

So not sure if it counts.

pkondz!

Well, I haven't read your latest chapter yet, either. So sure, it counts.

I am so here! Love the smell of a new thread!!!

Randall! Much better than napalm.

Yeah! Looking forward to this trip report!

I saw a peanut butter & jelly sandwich for $4.39 at the camp store in Yosemite this summer. Yep, one pre-made sandwich! I thought of you guys!

Oh man, and you weren't even in Disney World. This is not making me look forward to Yosemite prices.

Joining in! Interested to see what you thought of Atlanta.

Spoiler: we had fun! Didn't pick the greatest place to stay, though.

I'm in

Doc!

Joining in

Yeah, it stinks. I was hoping to meet up with Mark and the family, but ended up finding that particular TR about a month too late. Turns out they were just down the street from us too.

That just...stinks.

About time this started you slacker. Looking forward to you hitting Orlando with Drew.

CJ! Just for that, I'm not going to take it easy on you when we get to Miami.

To paraphrase a old west story:

"Mrs. Knowitall shot her husband in Reno once just to watch him die."

Can't wait to read more...

Love your reports! And the links, I have actually used a few to plan our own trips.

Thanks!
Kate

Kate! Glad to hear it's been helpful!

Peek a boo!

Liesa! Will get over to your TR, I promise!

I've mainly been lurking lately, but I'm here!

Irene!

We already established it did.

Here! Will try to reply when I can, but it might be mostly lurking. This being an adult thing takes up a lot of time...

I'm so with you on the adult thing. It's so overrated.

Ya know...I'm following along because I enjoy your TRs, but this one is going to be tough. I'm going to see where you were 10 minutes away and I didn't know until it was too late.

On the other hand, you can count your blessings that you avoided us.

Sounds like fun. Do y’all participate in the Junior Ranger program when you stop at national parks?

And yes, we do! Although the older kids are starting to lose interest in the program, so we mainly just do it for Drew now.

Still haven't had a chance to read... (I will! I promise!)
But wanted to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas, Mark!

Thank you, pkondz, and Merry Christmas to you, too! Hope you had a great one with the family.

Well that's odd. I thought for sure I had posted here to say that I was posting so I'd get updates. But apparently I didn't. So... Hi! I'm posting so I'll get the updates. In case that wasn't already perfectly clear. Because now I'm repeating myself just for the sake of repeating myself and being redundant.

*edited to add* Oh, and I suppose I really should say Merry Christmas! Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas today!

Allison! Thanks for joining in, and thanks for joining in!

And I hope you had a Merry Christmas as well!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Woot! Am so happy to see the beginning of this report...we are planning a road trip to Great Smoky Mountain NPS this spring.

Hope this helps! If nothing else, be prepared to deal with crowds.

Oh my god, that is just about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Second only to my wife saying "that's a good idea, let's steal it."

Barry! Good to see you around here. Nice job throwing Bambi under the bus, too.

OK, well, then you can't get upset if I forget who is who. (First Base!)

Well, they can't all contain Lambeau Field or head-sized cinnamon rolls

Or my son driving a 4-wheeler into a mud pit.

To MAY to, To MAH to.

Gesundheit.

Ours too! And if my memory is correct, we drove the full 105 miles just a few weeks after you did.

I think you may have been there only a week or two after us. And we both had to have Disney destinations coming later in order to give the kids something to look forward to.

On our way back from South Carolina this summer, we decided to take the scenic route and add about 4 hours to our drive and take a good portion of the BRP. Well worth it!

We did about 80 miles or so of the BRP south of Shenandoah back in 2010. Gorgeous drive. But then we needed to get on the highway in order to make up some time.

That tall one - with the sunglasses - I don't recall her name since there was no introductions, but she's my favorite. I bet she puts cheese on her PB & J.

I figured you'd like her shirt. She puts apples on her grilled cheese sandwiches.

To spice it up, you can use circular saw blades rather than Frisbees.

Well, that would definitely add to the drama. Sort of like a ninja competition!

Mrs. Know-it-all likes big boom!

Then again...who doesn't?

My uncle asked if we wanted to try shooting the .357 ammunition, and I asked, "Should I try it, just to say I did?" He nodded and said, "Yes, you should."

Who knew the Frozen Monkey still DIS'ed...

We're getting the band back together, man!

Crazy, I know. Dipping my toes back into the DIS water. Might even pop back into the DDC one of these days. (Once I finish getting caught up over there!)

 

[londontime]

Joining to shamelessly rip off your experiences for our trip from Asheville to Jekyll island in March. So get finishing mate, I’ve got restaurants to book up.

 

[cj9200]

CJ! Just for that, I'm not going to take it easy on you when we get to Miami.

I would expect nothing less.

 

[pkondz]

Hi. I’m Mark.

Hi, Mark!

We cram ourselves into one minivan and drive around the country,

Whilst dining on PB&J sammies.

Because we are idiots.

This did not need to be said. Some things are beyond obvious, you know.

Then again... I suppose that is why you said it.

I also try to include links to the websites of the various places we visit in case you ever get the crazy idea of trying to see some of these things yourself.

I will be using a lot of those links in the not so distant future, I'm sure.

Please join the adventure and leave plenty of smart-alecky comments along the way!

I would never do that.

Or, find something more interesting to read. Like this, for instance.

That was amazing! Thanks for the link!
Who knew that rulings and procedures reported in the IRB do not have the force and effect of Treasury tax regulations!

Riveting!

But I’ll tell you this—it is not meant to be a figurative statement.

Oh, thank God!


I mean... I'm sorry to hear that.

our home in Delaware (we’re #1!)

at #2?

In the summer of 2017, we started on a drive from our home in Delaware (we’re #1!) to Florida, via Oklahoma.

Not being 100% sure just how far away that was, I took a quick look on Google maps.

Dude. You went wayyyyy off course, there.

the family has told me I’m not allowed to cross off Alaska as my 50th until they catch up.

This is unfair and unjust.

Sharp-eyed readers will note that we have been to Florida before. Why include that as part of the itinerary, especially when we had to go as far west as Oklahoma?

There's just no rhyme or reason for it!

As I’ve noted in the past, it’s always fun to watch the rental car agent do a double take when he/she checks in your car as you return it.

I've done that.
"Here's your van back. Let's see. It had 49 miles on it... now it has 4,500. Thanks!"

Whereas there’s a certain destination in central Florida that does have that same appeal.

I love Gatorland!

And no, it’s not the Green Meadows Petting Farm, as wonderful as that may be.

But... but... they have chickens!

trying to time the trip so we’d reach the Washington D.C. Beltway well after the morning rush hour had cleared.

Oh? Is that a problem?

Beltway is similar to running with the bulls in Pamplona, although the bulls usually move at much higher speeds than D.C. traffic.

And yet both have bullsh.... er.... issues.

David has exceptionally long arms.

Skyline Drive makes for a gorgeous outing.

This is the second time in a month that Skyline Drive has been mentioned to me.

Great Smoky Mountains National Park and gets its name from the bluish haze that seems to settle over the mountains most of the day.

Oh!!! I always wondered about that.

We stopped at an overlook for our traditional road trip lunch of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.

See!!!

forcing everyone to order water at sit-down meals,

This would not sit well with me.

and conveniently forgetting a kid or two when making hotel reservations so we only have to book one room.

Meh. Who cares. They rented the room. How many people are in it is none of their business. (provided you don't trash the place, or something.)

On the upside, we have had PB&J sandwiches in some of the most beautiful places in the world.

And that makes it all worth it.

That plus $12 will get you a small burnt coffee at Starbucks.

I'll pass. But thanks anyways.

You never realize how big Virginia really is until you have to drive all the way across it, east to west.

I noticed that. Not driving it, but just looking at the map to see where you're going. I was surprised at how wide it was.

We also got to play Frisbee golf, which is exactly as exciting as you think it is.

Wow! That's.... incredible!!!! Holy cow!!!! Wowza!

He’s an enthusiast, and has built several working replica historic pistols and rifles from scratch.

That's pretty darned impressive.

All I’ll say is this—I do not own a gun. I have never felt the need to do so.

Next time we meet, I'll tell you a story about that.
Not here.

We also had a great time firing at targets at the range. These two statements don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Totally get that.

Also, remind me never to get on my wife’s bad side, as she turned out to be a crack shot with a .357 Magnum. Do I feel lucky? After she put three straight shots in the first ring, no…I don’t.

We pulled into a joint just north of the city called Luella’s Bar-B-Que.

Of course you did. I would've been disappointed if you hadn't.

This place was our first hint that whatever this trip would lack in scenery, it would make up for in food.

Besides that, they even provided hula hoops for your entertainment while you waited to be seated.

The place sells itself.

We loaded up on plates of pulled pork, beef brisket, pulled chicken, mac-and-cheese, hush puppies, and a dish called “cheese ‘n comfort fries”. How does it look?

Like a heart attack in waiting.


No... that's a good thing.

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

I'm so with you on the adult thing. It's so overrated.

Isn't it? And my supervisor wants me to actually work while I'm work. Sheer lunacy.

 

[londontime]

We pulled into a joint just north of the city called Luella’s Bar-B-Que.

Well that works. restaurant idea no.1.

 

[mickeystoontown]

Yay a new trip report! I'm so ready to read about all of your adventures!

 

[Steppesister]

We were ultimately heading to my uncle’s house in Abingdon, VA, way down in the southwestern tip of the state.

NO. WAY.

When my parents bailed out of California (for a myriad of reasons) that is exactly where they wound up from 1987-1992 or so. He saw more cases of Elephantitis and Black Lung than ever. They liked it there a lot and learned the foreign language that is Appalacia.

we employ in order to try and afford to be able to take 6 people around the country. Other measures include staying at hotels with free breakfasts, forcing everyone to order water at sit-down meals, and conveniently forgetting a kid or two when making hotel reservations so we only have to book one room.

Been there; done all those.

That plus $12 will get you a small burnt coffee at Starbucks.

Better than Folgers. Almost.

We also got to play Frisbee golf, which is exactly as exciting as you think it is.

Well, I think it's pretty exciting when I can actually propel the thing I'm trying to. I"m not so sure any of my golf balls would ever get off the ground.

The next day, we took turns watching Drew at the house while my uncle took us in shifts over to the gun range. He’s an enthusiast, and has built several working replica historic pistols and rifles from scratch. Given how divisive gun issues are in our country today, I’m not going to spend much time in detail or showing photos because I don’t want to start debates. All I’ll say is this—I do not own a gun. I have never felt the need to do so. We also had a great time firing at targets at the range. These two statements don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Very diplomatic. But, which ever side of the fence you sit on, the fact that he built.. from scratch... his own guns is pretty dang impressive.

Also, remind me never to get on my wife’s bad side, as she turned out to be a crack shot with a .357 Magnum. Do I feel lucky? After she put three straight shots in the first ring, no…I don’t.

There is a reason:

https://rivetermagazine.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/why-are-women-better-shooters/

We pulled into a joint just north of the city called Luella’s Bar-B-Que.

Why does this not surprise me?

How does it look?

Like your waistline is going to pay for it.

 

[pkondz]

There is a reason:

https://rivetermagazine.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/why-are-women-better-shooters/

I think the author stretched a bit for that one.
Her one source said: “Women have a lower center of gravity and I think (emphasis mine) that gives them a distinct advantage in shooting from the standing position. I think they have better balance.”

She may be right. She may be completely wrong, too.

 

[Steppesister]

I think the author stretched a bit for that one.
Her one source said: “Women have a lower center of gravity and I think (emphasis mine) that gives them a distinct advantage in shooting from the standing position. I think they have better balance.”

She may be right. She may be completely wrong, too.

I'm going to side with the author on this one and add that a lot of other sources also add that women are simply more patient than men.

Fact.

(Yes, I"m about to be flamed here.)

 

[pkondz]

I'm going to side with the author on this one and add that a lot of other sources also add that women are simply more patient than men.

Fact.

(Yes, I"m about to be flamed here.)

Hmmmm... I think that's more of an individual thing than a gender thing.
Ask me about myself and my wife, sometime.

 

[Steppesister]

Hmmmm... I think that's more of an individual thing than a gender thing.
Ask me about myself and my wife, sometime.

Yes, a grand generalization I admit, so we can shelve this until April. It’ll be 3 ladies to one guy so we’ll see where the chips fall.

 

[pkondz]

Yes, a grand generalization I admit, so we can shelve this until April. It’ll be 3 ladies to one guy so we’ll see where the chips fall.

Oh..... craaaaaap.

I am in for a world of hurt, aren't I?

 

[franandaj]

Yes, a grand generalization I admit, so we can shelve this until April. It’ll be 3 ladies to one guy so we’ll see where the chips fall.

Mostly, but at times there is the potential for four ladies!

Oh..... craaaaaap.

I am in for a world of hurt, aren't I?

 

[jhoannam]

Can't wait to read about your awesome experience in Oklahoma