The October Expedition - Reflections on A Ten-Day Trip to Walt Disney World

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Welcome to my Walt Disney World travelogue!

My best friend and I just took our biennial trip to the Walt Disney World Resort.

Our trip ran from Thursday, 27 September through Saturday, October 7. I departed the following day, Sunday, October 8.

We stayed at the Caribbean Beach Resort, at which I also stayed during my last trip to Walt Disney World in 2016.

This was my third trip to the parks since 2012, and my fifth since 1998. I also visited the parks more than a half-dozen times during the late 1980's and early 1990s as a child.

On this thread, I will offer my reflections on the attractions, the food, the resort, the quality of guest service, and the possible future of Walt Disney World. You, I hope, will offer your thoughts in response!

 

[dvc at last !]

Interested in what you have to say.

 

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Who are you?

Before we get into the particulars of this year's trip, it may help you to know a bit about me through the lens of my passion for things Walt Disney.

I guess you could say that I'm a lifelong fan of Walt Disney's vision of a great, big, beautiful tomorrow. It's the optimism of his work that has kept me a consistent fan since childhood.

My family was fortune enough to make many visits to Walt Disney World during childhood, the last of which we took together in November 2002 as I prepared to graduate from high school. As an adult, I returned to the park with my brother in March 2012 and again with my best friend both in February 2016 and earlier this month.

My favorite Disney movie of all time is probably the 1999 Disney Channel movie, Genius, starring Trevor Morgan and Emmy Rossum. At the same time that show aired, I had just learned an important lesson of my own about being truthful in matters of the heart.

My favorite movie in the Disney Animated Cannon is Mulan, with honorable mentions for Peter Pan, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Hercules, and Lilo and Stitch. My preference is for Disney movies with a large, ensemble cast. I struggle with the films that zero in on individuals, like Wall-E and Moana.

My favorite Pixar movie is Cars, followed closely by Toy Story. Disney's interpretation of Route 66 enthralls me, and I love the stories about a city boy charmed by small town life. Maybe it hits close to home, since I relocated from Washington, D.C. to the Chattanooga, Tennessee area not long ago.

My favorite Disney park is EPCOT. Both as a child and as an adult, I have loved the merger of education and entertainment.

My favorite Disney attraction is the retired Cranium Command in the old Wonders of Life Pavilion at EPCOT. More on this in future installments. My favorite present-day attraction is the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover at Tomorrowland in Magic Kingdom. "Paging Mr. Tom Morrow," anyone?

My favorite attraction at EPCOT is Spaceship Earth; at Hollywood Studios, Star Tours (following the retirement of The Great Movie Ride); and at Animal Kingdom, Kali River Rapids.

My favorite Disney property not seen at the parks is Talespin. I think there's a cultural opening for a 1930's setting right now, and a growing need for the type of uncomplicated, genuine heroes Disney presents. (Here in the United States, at least, we seem still to be in a cultural moment that prizes the "honesty" of anti-heroism. The struggles of those whose good intentions are averted by personal foibles and warped by bad luck seem somehow relatable, and their failures echo our own dissatisfaction with the social and political moment.)

The first Disney movie I can remember watching was Oliver and Company. The last Disney movie I watched on the big screen was Christopher Robin. The last Disney movie I watched was Blackbeard's Ghost, which I saw one evening during my trip.

As a historian by training, my favorite Disney era was the late 1950's and early 1960's because of the contemporary popular enthusiasm for historical material, which resulted in some of Disney's television classics like The Swamp Fox.

 

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Out of the mists of the past

Planning for this trip was heavily influenced by my experience of two prior visits, first in 2012 with my brother and then in 2016 with my best friend, who joined me again on this adventure.

2012 – A New Era

In 2012, my brother and I stayed for seven days at Port Orleans Riverside and visited EPCOT, Magic Kingdom, and Hollywood Studios. By mutual agreement, we did not visit Animal Kingdom, the park we remembered enjoying least during our 1998 visit. We also took a very deliberate approach to the selection of what attractions we visited, even though the overall pace was sedate, with several late mornings and more than one siesta. Rather than stay late at the parks, we also tried to sample night life at the resorts and in Disney Springs.

Because it was early March, the weather was mild and the crowds very light. The average wait time for attractions was about 15 minutes. Our longest wait was Space Mountain, which we boarded on stand-by, but the two hours seemed to melt away in light of changes they'd made to the queue.

The trip was planned for us by a travel agent and we both took direct flights to Orlando, meeting at MCO before boarding the Disney's Magical Express. My anticipation for the trip had been whet by a visit to Orlando on business the week prior, during which I stayed just steps from the Disney Springs entrance at the Radisson Hotel Orland - Lake Buena Vista and attended an industry conference at the gorgeous Hyatt Regency Grand Cypress, where I relearned the crucial lesson that it rains daily in Central Florida. Learning inadvertantly that my parents were in town, I also dined with them at Johnnie's Hideaway, which served us a dinner of excellent steak and seafood.

It was on the work trip that I was approached in the parking lot of an Apopka-Vineland shopping center by a yellow Ford Mustang whose driver suggested I might like to carry a package into Disney Springs. I declined, but the car moved into my path before the passenger blurted out, "I don't think this is the guy, man!" and the driver stammered a request for me to tell him where we were. When I confessed that I was visiting on business and did not know the street address, the car tore off!

Disney had changed drastically since 1998 (in 2003, we had visited only EPCOT). For one thing, most of the attractions I had best loved at EPCOT were now gone—particularly the Wonders of Life Pavilion, but also Horizons and The World of Motion. The captivating SEGA showcase at Innoventions was replaced by a fire safety experience designed for very young children. Toy soldiers were no longer sold at the British Pavilion, although I still cherish a now much-battered set of Grenadier Guards that evaded the clutches of the charity drives to which my mother sacrificed the lion’s share of my childhood toys after I departed for college. As I recall, it required the better part of an hour to settle on the Guards, whose bearskin caps narrowly won out over the fixed bayonets of a set with inferior headgear (mitre caps). Captain EO had made an unexpected return, and was playing during our visit, but we unwisely skipped it because we assumed incorrectly that it was a conventional Michael Jackson concert experience rather than an actual movie.

We must have visited the Boardwalk, too, but I can't recall any specific experiences. The varied attractions of the Boardwalk, including fairground games, bicycle surreys, and funnel cake, had been a favorite during a family visit of 1998, but we hadn't been back since.

Similar change had come to the other parks. In the Magic Kingdom, where we hadn't passed through the gates since at least 1998, a familiar Tomorrowland attraction, The Timekeeper, had disappeared. Fantasyland was mostly closed for refurbishment. In deference to changing mores, pop guns were no longer a feature of stores in Frontierland. (A cherished memory of mine involves receiving the indulgent gift of a Colt Dragoon cap revolver in the early 1990’s even though we knew it would upset my mother and spur the immediate purchase of a gun for my little brother. We eventually used them to disrupt a live action experience involving a stagecoach. I’m not sure if that last adventure took place in either Disney or Universal, but the cast obligingly pretended that my brother and I had foiled a stage coach heist.) Disney Springs had now replaced Pleasure Island, a mythical destination to which my brother and I had never been. At Hollywood Studios, the Backlot Tour seemed destined for the scrap heap and the Streets of America had fallen into obvious disrepair.

We enjoyed the resort immensely. The Port Orleans Resort was excellent, with the grounds well-groomed. My brother had proposed I bring a small penlight, and we explored the walking paths late one evening to find exotic critters of all sorts. We got a Bayou room with interesting furnishing inspired by the resort’s rustic theme. I thought the picture on the wall by one of the log-trestle beds was especially nice: a log raft navigating a Mississippi tributary by the light of a single lamp, passing a dilapidated shack isolated by high water. At that time, Disney also appointed guestrooms with ear-shaped soaps and other amenities that made great souvenirs. One evening, we also paused to take in Yee Haw Bob (albeit at a distance, since the lounge was packed), and I so enjoyed it that I resolved to return.

My only complaint about the resort is that buses to Port Orleans were few and far between. We waited 25 minutes or more most nights for a bus to arrive as we departed each park. We would repeat the experience, only with the addition of blazing hot sun, in 2018 on our final day in the parks as we waited for transportation to Port Orleans so that we could hop a boat to Disney Springs.

The food was good on the whole. We ate our most-memorable meal at the Yatchsman's Steakhouse on the first night of the trip, where I dined on "deconstructed" beef Wellington. The staff was notably generous when we arrived near closing time due to misdirection from the resort concierge, who promised a 15-minute transit time by bus between hotels that turned out to take the better part of two hours, including a transfer at Disney Springs. My brother, previously a vegetarian, had apparently become an omnivore again after starting a part-time job at Omaha Steaks, where he had consented to taste each cut of meat in order to better advise his customers. We also had enjoyable experiences at O'hana in the Polynesian, at the Biergarten Restaurant in the German Pavillion at EPCOT, and at the Captain's Grille at the Yacht Club Resort. We had lesser meals at the Coral Reef, which had few options for those who didn't enjoy fish, and at Teppan Edo, where we ate very ordinary hibachi grill. A visit to Chef Mickey's went awry when the hostess angrily refused our request to be seated "away from the characters," declining even to explain that they visit every table. (She demanded to know why we wouldn't wish to have our picture taken with characters!) A visit to Hoop De Doo Revue was a highlight. The dinner show itself would be more to my liking in 2016 (although I'm unsure if any of the routine change), but the food--all-you-cared-to-eat fried chicken, ribs, and fixings--was excellent.

The attractions were a mixed bag. At Hollywood Studios, updates to Star Tours were impressive, and the ride was even more fun than I'd remembered. The Indian Jones stunt show also pleased, although mostly because it was nostalgic. So few changes had been made over the years that my brother and I already knew it by heart. The Backlot Tour felt very contrived now that we were adults, and the Lights, Motors, Action! stunt show was so forgettable that I can't even tell you today what happened except that cars drove fast. (Am I correct to recall a boat, too?) I declined the Tower of Terror following a catastrophic experience in childhood. The Great Movie Ride was, as always, lots of fun, and we lucked out in getting the B track at least once.

In EPCOT, Soarin' Over California was closed for refurbishment. (We would miss it again for the same reason in 2016.) At Mission: Space, I made a brash, last-minute decision to join the Orange Team, perhaps out of misguided bravado in the presence of an attractive young woman. I soon regretted my courage, for I hate spinning rides, and promptly proceeded to hope (without luck) that there was a live video feed to the operators since I came to believe early on that I was experiencing a heart attack! After that, we declined both Test Track and the Sum of All Thrills. We did make sure to get in the Old Reliables: Living with the Land, Maelstrom, and O! Canada in Circlevision, plus my personal favorite, Spaceship Earth.

On the first day of two at EPCOT, rain made a positive difference. Buckets fell for most of the afternoon, and most guests just cleared out for dryer destinations outside the park. My brother and I pulled sweatshirts out of our backpack and did as we pleased, unhindered by the water. When we got too wet, we checked in for an early lunch and enjoyed some time indoors.

At Magic Kingdom, we did Jungle Cruise and Pirates of the Caribbean, but foolishly skipped the PeopleMover. At this time, I was unaware of the existence of the Carousel of Progress (what horror!) and the Hall of Presidents, which we also missed. We did do Space Mountain on standby. I enjoyed it, but afterward my brother pointed out that I was scarce able to stand or walk, and we were forced to return to the room. (A visit to the doctor post-trip assured me that this was not a medical issue, but merely a dislike of such experiences.) A trip on Peter Pan thrilled my brother, while I was unimpressed. Either the lines or unsteady nerves deterred us from trying The Haunted House, while a misguided sense of maturity kept us out of the Country Bear Jamboree. We did visit Tom Sawyer Island, where I enjoyed "shooting" at Big Thunder Mountain from one of the bastions of Fort Langhorn.

At Disney Springs, I successfully purchased enough LEGO to make my suitcase difficult to close while my brother purchased some art that broke his budget, forcing me to supply spending cash for the rest of the trip. (Luckily, I had come prepared in the expectation that this would happen.)

We also spent two days at Universal, where I found to my shock and sadness that they had removed some of the iconic movie vehicles from locations in the park where they could be boarded and instead had them mounted on pedestals for observation only. We did get a kick out of the Jurassic Park ride, the old favorite Twister (where we helped some young ladies decipher unfamiliar road signs posted in the queue area, causing us to despair over the lack of knowledge of these new drivers), and mourned the closure of King Kong. This was also our first experience of the Coca Cola Freestyle machine, which we agreed is best.

The other major takeaway from the Universal Studios parks was that the ride vehicles are mostly designed for folks much smaller than I was. I had no problem boarding any of the attractions during a visit in 2002, but by the time we returned a decade later, at 280lbs, I was past the point of being able to fit. Disney rides were uniformly more accommodating, and I had no trouble with those. It seemed to me that Universal's riders were more likely to be teenagers, whereas Disney ride designers expected larger adults to join their children.

At the Universal City Walk, I enjoyed the shops, which I found to have more "every man" appeal than those at Disney Springs. I bought a watch at the Fossil store that I wore for years afterward, and we saw the first of two Disney movies, John Carter of Mars. Due to inexplicably bad marketing, I had not understood the movie to be either from Disney or related to the Edgar Rice Burroughs story, but I thought it was stupendous entertainment. I regretted that it was such a box office failure because I would have loved to see both sequels and a park presence at Magic Kingdom.

Oddly enough, one of my best memories of this trip was finishing Star Trek: Enterprise on my iPad, an experience I raise because I think that Gene Roddenberry's vision of the future dovetails nicely with that of Walt Disney. The essential optimism and sense of wonder that lie at the heart of Star Trek also lie at the heart of every Disney creation since Oswald. I think the connection between the two helped make Enterprise my favorite Trek series yet.

Thoughts on the Changes

I was sad to see the state of Hollywood Studios, which I felt had lost a lot of its luster since the early days as MGM Studios. The park clearly longed for more and better-maintained attractions. We didn't know yet that a Lucasfilm acquisition was in the cards, and so we focused instead on what properties Disney might usefully revive to fit in the Hollywood That Never Was and Always Will Be. We agreed that Hollywood Studios needed more and better food options. What about an Obi Wan Club? It also seemed to us that Talespin and the Rocketeer were the media properties best-suited to immediate integration with the existing park aesthetic. For the latter, I assumed Disney might want to go with the Batman-style vertical-seat roller coaster that was long a staple of the Six Flags Great Adventure park in New Jersey.

In the search for cost reduction, Disney had also dramatically reduced the diversity of products sold at its stores and quick service counters. While I well understood the business rationale, I found it hard to inspire much interest in the merchandise and regretted that the meal options took on an avoidable sameness.

 

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2016 - A New View on Disney

In 2016, I took an eight-day trip to Walt Disney World with my best friend, who now lived several states distant.

Notable preparations for this trip included my friend's re-watching of all then-54 Disney Animated Theatrical Releases and our mutual design of a schedule for every reservation and fast-pass. We secured both a Disney Deluxe Dining Plan and an excellent off-season price for the Caribbean Beach resort. My campaign to stay at Port Orleans ended in failure because he had lived in New Orleans itself for several years and didn't wish to relive the experience.

Although I flew from Knoxville, where I lived at the time, to Orlando via Charlotte, and my friend trained down from the National Capital Region, we arrived almost simultaneously, me by Magical Express and he by taxi. After checking in at the Custom House (which I confess was not nearly as impressive as the mansion-style foyer of New Orleans), we departed straightaway for The Magic Kingdom.

This trip marked my first exposure to Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom. I appreciated the high production value of the cards and the effortless artistry of the map, but was quickly repelled by the constant mechanical breakdown of the card readers and the annoyance of having to stick my nose in a map to find the right portal. My friend, who is much more a planner, remains devoted to the game to this day. I did, however, greatly enjoy my first visit to the Mainstreet fire hall, where my eye caught more than a few patches of fire departments from counties and cities in which I'd lived and worked.

My friend introduced me to a number of new attractions that have now become staples of my park experience: the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover and that I had once dismissed as uninteresting because it doesn't go fast; the Carousel of Progress, which has aged mightily well and is spot-on when it comes to capturing the Disney aesthetic; and the Three Caballeros boat ride in the Mexico pavilion, which I had never known could be entered!

We also did the "classic" Disney road: Tomorrowland Speedway, Tiki Room, Dole Whip, Small World, and Peter Pan. I confess to feeling bored in most of those cases. The Dole Whip did not wow me.

Among the most significant overhauls to the park were new attractions focused on short films. In Hollywood Studios, we both liked the small Walt Disney museum, which opened into a theater that gave previews of upcoming movies. Ours was Zootopia, of which we saw a good 10 or 15 minutes' worth. Exhibits in the museum's back half changed by 2018, but on both occasions, we loved seeing models and pictures of attractions at other Disney parks.

The Path of the Jedi film was good, and if memory serves, included more space battles back before Rogue One or The Last Jedi offered more footage to try to shoehorn into the time allotted.

Magic Kingdom and EPCOT seemed to result in full days, but we struggled to fill our schedule at Hollywood Studios even though we caught the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular and did the fireworks package. I thought the Star Wars fireworks were spectacular. Can't say the same about Fantasmic.

Animal Kingdom felt exhausting. Neither of us lacked for opportunities to see wildlife during childhood, so the safari ride and zoo exhibits were not particularly thrilling. We skipped Kali River Rapids out of fear of getting drenched, and Avatar Land was at this time still under construction. The safari itself was the major attraction, but a lunch of curried sausages at Harambe Market was the most memorable activity of the day we spent at that park.

The trip to the Boardwalk would pay off in both 2016 and 2018. In 2016, we walked the Boardwalk hotel itself, which I had last stayed at in 1998. It has fine theming. On the actual Boardwalk, I caught the mime at work to the sounds of DJ Leo's "Laripsdita."

The food was good. That first night, we called an audible and ate at The Skipper's Canteen, which was in soft open. I had the shu mai box and the Moroccan lamb, which was decent enough, but I remember feeling like they didn't serve enough food. We later had a neat snack of Vietnamese food at the outdoor seating area of Trader Sam's Grog Grotto, where we picked up souvenir cups. We later had great, memorable meals at Yachtsman's and Brown Derby. At Yachtsman's, we lucked into a free crab cake that had been refused by another table and had lots of fun creating fake tasting notes for cheese and charcuterie boards. At Brown Debry, the loud explosions just behind us turned out to be fireworks, much to our relief. Breakfast was usually taken at the feeding hub in Port Royal, but nothing to write home about. Once, we dined at the Captain's Grille, which I am sorry to say had fallen far in terms of quality and diversity of food. We also tried the house restaurant at Caribbean Beach, which was fine for an evening. I also enjoyed a meal at Biergarten. Nothing like generous portions of hearty German fare, eh? I liked least of all a meal we ate at Wave of Contemporary Flavors, which seemed very bland. One interesting meal was at the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater. We agreed that the movie experience was fun, but they hadn't changed the line-up since 2012 and the food itself, cheeseburgers and the like, didn't endear itself. Splitsville served us the largest orders of chicken wings and pizza either of us had ever seen.

A service misfire at Tusker House ended with our being issued free fast passes, but it cast a severe pall over the entire day. Basically, a host mishandled seating and spend much of the meal returning to or watching our table while clearly regretting her decision to pack two large adults into an already-crowded space. I wouldn't have minded being sat off to the side in deference to the crowd, but I did mind being seated and then having to endure the host's anxiety, which was frequently rude. The other meal in the Animal Kingdom realm was at Boma, which became a favorite for the flavors and range of options. I would say that of all the trips I have taken, I ate best on this one because I was so careless about what I chose to ate. This past trip involved a lot more deliberation about what to eat in deference to my health, so while I enjoyed the food I did eat more, I declined to eat as many things. It is the only time I can remember giving no tip (and feeling it was earned), and the manager literally sprinted after us to perform service recovery once we'd departed. Contrast this to the very gracious manner in which we were treated by the cast member who redeemed our pass, who seemed genuinely upset by the discovery that anything had gone awry on our trip.

Weather and crowds were optimal. It was pleasantly cool, and the parks were almost empty. We waited about 20 minutes maximum for any ride, and then it was due to joining the stand-by line in the late afternoon when attendance was its height.

At a final-day excursion to Disney Springs, I bought a Thunder Mountain railroad sign for use in a future home, which I didn't buy until 2017.

The 2016 trip set a certain standard for future visits and generated a few important lessons-learned, some of which shine only in retrospect.

1. February weather and crowd size are hard to beat in the week prior to Valentine's Day.
   
2. It's difficult to spend down all of your snack and meal credits with a party of just two people, even if you are eating sumptuously. That's not necessarily a bad thing--I didn't fret over the money lost, but my plan-loyal friend seemed to have lost some sleep over it.
3. Quick service meals were usually poor-quality. A trip to Casey's in 2012 had yielded a soggy chili-cheese dog, so we skipped it in deference to the Lunching Pad, which turned out not to have much better options. This lesson was fated to be stricken in 2018 following some great quick-service meals and some sit-down duds.
4. Caribbean Beach had far better bus service than Port Orleans, an experience that would hold true two years later in 2018.
5. There is no upper limit to the amount of times you can enjoy riding the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover.

I did make a point of avoiding most fast rides during this trip. The most intense attraction I tried was Fast Track, which I found uninteresting, although not too intense. We declined all roller coasters, which is a decision I reversed in 2018 following some dramatic improvements to my health.

We watched several Disney movies while at Walt Disney World, including my first viewing of Home on the Range. I quite liked the soundtrack.

 

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Preparations for the Future

After the February 2016 trip, I got back to Disney Springs twice around Christmastime in 2017 and 2018 but didn't reenter the parks or resorts until October 2018.

In 2016, my parents and I enjoyed meals at The Boathouse, where I ate the lobster boil, and at the Italian restaurant that has since been re-imagined. The Boathouse didn't hit the mark a second time in 2017, when we dined on the outdoor pier and had to be rescued from a seagull attack by waiters rushing in with spray bottles. I remember the Italian restaurant being very, very good.

We expected to return to Disney, my friend and I, in February 2018, but life intervened, and I ended up taking a position in Chattanooga, TN that involved the purchase of my first home. To let finances recover, we postponed our Disney adventure to October 2018. We hoped to find good weather and accepted the risk of light to moderate crowds in return for the promise of Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party and the EPCOT Food and Wine Festival, to which neither of us had ever been.

We also began spending a lot of time talking about the kinds of things we hoped to see at each park moving forward. Inspired, we created an Excel file that examined each of the pavilions at EPCOT and considered what was missing by continent. I learned that, back in the early 1980's, Disney had expected to open Israel, Spain, and Central Africa pavilions, which had never come to fruition. In light of the changing political climate, I supposed (with regret) that we should not expect to see either Israel or Russia pavilions anytime soon, but thought that Brazil, India, and Korea pavilions could be useful draws for new visitors. Already, Brazilians make up the largest share of Orlando's foreign visitors, and Disney issues maps in Brazilian Portuguese, a sign that the number of Brazilian guests is important to them. I doubt many Indians get to the parks given the distances involved, but I did see more than a few Korean families.

We imagined that the Brazil pavilion would have a low probability of sponsorship, but could give opportunities for a Three Caballeros or Saludos, Amigos! tie-in based on existing, applicable properties. When we thought on rides, a riverboat or aerial trip through the Amazon seemed topical. The restaurant option most familiar to American palates would probably be a Brazilian steakhouse, although EPCOT already has Le Cellier and Yachtsman's nearby.

We felt like Peru had good opportunities for dinner theater based either on the Emperor's New Groove or Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, with a restaurant serving Peruvian charcoal-grilled chicken, but it's hard for me to see Disney getting excited over building a pavilion for a country from which few people probably visit.

Australians were here and there during our 2016 trip, although I saw only cast members from the Land Down Under in 2018. With Finding Nemo represented in The Living Seas at Future World, the Rescuers are the most relevant property tie-in unless one wanted to create an Austral-asia pavillion and go with Moana. (Lilo and Stitch get within spitting distance because of the Polynesian themes, but the Galactic Authority fits Tomorrowland thematically.)

We wanted to see an India pavilion with a Jungle Book or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride and an Indian restaurant.

I mused that 1990 offered probably-unique opportunities to have opened a Russia pavilion, or even a Yugoslavia pavilion. The later country in particular had a reputation as a Western vacation destination and was seeking to increase tourism until it dissolved into civil war.

Could a Korea pavilion work? Europe and North America are over-represented, and it might be useful for Disney to have a pavilion where it can talk about its forays into digital gaming.

We split over whether John Carter of Mars would find a better home in Hollywood Studios or in a new area in The Magic Kingdom. I made the case for a conservation exhibit incorporating Wall-E, an airship ride based on Up!, and an Internet-themed exhibit featuring Wreck-It Ralph in Future World, where I want to see a full-time return of an attraction based on the SEGA experience of the late 1990's. We concluded that Ducktales, Talespin, and the Rocketeer had a natural home in Hollywood Studios, although it seems that Ducktales is being introduced most aggressively into Animal Kingdom as of 2018.

I mourn the loss of the Wonders of Life pavilion at EPCOT and have longed for a revived Cranium Command using new talent like The Rock in the role of the Heart and Clark Gregg as the Left Brain.

When we finally got back to the question of the vacation itself, we initially booked at Coronado Springs, where neither of us had ever stayed. However, about four months prior to the trip, we got the opportunity for a $2,000 reduction in overall package price if we agreed to switch to Caribbean Beach. We decided that $1,000 apiece made a big difference, but in the aftermath of the 2018 trip, I now wonder if it turned out that way. Our experience of Caribbean Beach in 2016 was heavily influenced by our easy proximity to Port Royal that year, something we wouldn't clue into until 2018.

Determined to make the most out of our vacation, we opted for a very long stay of 10 days, with at least two days at every park. We also planned deliberately around Extra Magic hours, which I think turned out badly for our EPCOT visits because the Food and Wine Festival and World Showcase didn't open before 11AM or after 9PM anyway. It also meant that we packed Hoop de Doo Revue and Mickey's Not-So-Scary into a single Friday--our second day at the parks. Due to the heat and inconvenience of lugging around extra clothing, we decided not to wear or bring costumes we had brought along in our luggage, which I think now was a mistake.

 

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Packing

My strategy this year didn't pay off. Rather than opt to use a battered large suitcase kept in the garage whose cleanliness was much in doubt, I purchased a cheap rolling duffel from WalMart to store the majority of my clothes. Long-sleeve items and jeans, I packed into a smaller suitcase. In light of how many days I would spend away, both ended up stuffed to the gills even though I was well under the bag check weight limit, and I was worried about the integrity of the zippers. No room for souvenirs, either. I would later pay dearly for my hubris.

For this trip, I increased the number of light shorts and reduced the number of cargo shorts I was bringing. Anticipating the possibility of cool weather, I also packed two pairs of jeans. As it happened, I would soon discover that pockets are a necessity if you don't plan to take a bag to the parks. Due to the high heat, I never wore either of the jeans. I also packed a waterproof windbreaker that remained in the room the entire trip along with a second pair of sneakers destined for the same fate.

I hasten to add that, in 2012, my brother and I always took a siesta in the early evening before dinner, which was often at a hotel, rather than a park. My best friend has a broader interest in attractions, and since traveling together, I have myself learned more about how much there is to do at Disney, meaning that we are both liable to pack more into one day and linger in a park until dinnertime. This reduces the opportunity for changing clothes, and he responded appropriately, by lugging fewer changes with him. I didn't do the same, and ended up with a large selection of collared shirts, slacks, and a second belt that I never wore.

Hoping to dress up for Mickey's Not-So-Scary, I tossed in a khaki long-sleeve shirt, a Talespin t-shirt, and a red pilot's cap. Even then, I was skeptical about the logistics of trying to get back to our resort before the Halloween Party since it was going to be the same evening we had scheduled Hoop-de-Doo, but I wanted the option just in case.

On a previous park visit with my brother, I had brought a small penlight to go hunting for interesting creepy-crawlies once it turned dark. I doubted that my best friend would find the same diversion equally engaging, so I crossed the light off the packing list.

I did add a Swiss Army Knife to one of the outer pockets of my suitcase, thinking some tools might come in handy. That decision paid off, since I ended up using the scissors and small knife for various odd jobs in the room: severing tags and wristbands, opening welcome packages, and fiddling with the clasp of my adjustable-length belt.

Two critical new additions to my wardrobe that I would use each and every day? Sunglasses and a baseball cap.

Transport

I have rarely seen a taxi cab in Chattanooga, so I opted instead for a Lyft--my first one, as it happens. The driver arrived well within the window I had allotted, and was very friendly. He was playing rap, which I like, and found our conversation so engaging that he declined to stop for gasoline. This was fortuitous: I had allotted two hours' lead time before take-off, but the security line ended up being surprisingly slow, and it wasn't too long after I processed that my flight boarded.

I'd say I'm always careful to tip on top of the basic ride fare, but the Lyft app makes it easy and appealing to give a $5 tip even for rides that top out at less than $10. I would end up using Lyft a half-dozen times during our trip, and every time I tipped at least $5, no matter how small the fare. I always considered this money well-spent.

The worst part of the day was sprinting to make a connecting flight at ATL to MCO. If memory serves, the destination airport was changed from CLT (Charlotte), probably due to the aftermath of Hurricane Florence. After an on-time departure from Chattanooga despite torrential rainfall during the prior few days, I touched down about 8:00AM and found that my connecting flight was already boarding. Luckily, I arrived before the jet doors closed.

The plane from ATL to MCO was large enough that every seat back had a built-in monitor. The movies included recent fare like Solo, as well as Netflix exclusives. I alternated between the Dwight Johnson vehicle Rampage, a documentary about child broadcaster Mr. Rogers, and the Disney classic, Finding Nemo. Remember: Fish are friends, not food!

Because Disney had sent an insufficient number of special luggage tags, I had to present my luggage claim tickets to the cast member at Magical Express check-in, but he assured me that my bags would still be found and forwarded to my resort.

Queuing for the Magical Express bus was the first time I got to put eyes on the size of the crowds headed to Disney, and I confess to being mildly and unpleasantly surprised by the number of people present so early in the day. It was a harbinger of what I was to encounter in the parks during the week ahead.

The Ride to Disney World

Our bus driver was courteous and the drive uneventful. I only bring this up to contrast the experience we had in 2012, when the driver also kept up a running commentary on local wildlife (alligators and an eagle's nest) and points-of-interest such as the humongous Gaylord Resort. The movie playing on the bus monitor was the same one they'd put on during my 2016 visit, and it was hard to pay attention.

Check-in

The bus pulled into the Customs House turnabout around 11AM after dropping off at the Boardwalk resorts. Sadly, the old Customs House struggles to impress if you've just swept through the old Atlantic City grandeur of luxury resorts.

I left my bags with the bell station and proceeded to check in on behalf of my party around 11AM. As expected, our rooms were still being made-up. The desk agent helpfully described the ad-hoc changes to resort operations.

Here, I made the biggest mistake of the trip: I did not request that we be assigned a room convenient to the dining facilities, concierge, and other amenities temporarily standing in for Port Royal. In 2016, we had stayed just steps away from that hub, making it easy to grab quick breakfasts, packages, and other conveniences on the way back from the parks. Soon, we would pay some of our $2,000 savings back in time and energy commuting between our block of rooms and the concierge desk.

Wandering the Resort

Traveling by train, my friend was delayed two hours due to hurricane debris on the tracks in South Carolina. This gave me an opportunity to walk the resort. I hopped the internal shuttle to Trinidad South in search of the poolside grill.

It's been a long time since I've had hamburgers or french fries. This trip marked the second time I'd be going "off-plan" since May, so I was looking forward to some great eats. I must have been gawking at the overhead menu, because the short-order cook flashed a huge grin when he saw me and announced: "You look very hungry!" Unconvinced that I wanted to commit to a chorizo burger before a planned lunch at Magic Kingdom, I wisely fled with only a cup of water in hand.

Proceeding leisurely, I took the walking trail north to the bridge crossing over Barefoot Bay into Jamaica. One gets great views of two different construction projects from that vantage point: the new resort additions and the Skyway towers.

Keys to the Kingdom

My friend arrived about 2PM, and after getting his bags sorted, we boarded the park shuttle to Magic Kingdom.

Back in 2016, we'd enjoyed street performers, including Ace the Magician's close-up magic, in Town Square. This year, we didn't see any performers, and so instead we headed for the Fire Station to get started on Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom. My friend feels that I am far too hard on Sorcerers, but it felt to me like we ended up spending an inordinate amount of time either waiting for or assisting frustrated guests who couldn't activate the card readers.

Our first stop was Casey's Corner for dogs. After a chaotic 20 minutes in line, I got the foot-long chili dog and some french fries. The fries were disappointingly bland, but the hot dog seemed to have improved by leaps and bounds since 2012: exceptionally tasty and filling. I drowned mine in sauerkraut, mustard, and ketchup.

After lunch, we made the requisite pilgrimage to the Carousel of Progress. This is perhaps my second-favorite of the Magic Kingdom attractions. The audio-animatronics have excellent realism, and the family seems so authentic to me. I really enjoy imagining what life must have been like in the Midwest of 1903 and 1925. This year was the first time we saw the re-imagined Future scene, which is really just an uncomfortable merger of 1980's decor and c. 2018 "smart" technology.

The Carousel of Progress is one of the few attractions for which I can see the argument against revision. For one thing, the structural challenge of choosing which dioramas to swap or keep is an issue, since it's impossible to just "tack on" something new without reducing the size of an existing scene. For another, this is one of those experiences whose purpose is the hearken back to the past. It seems fitting to respect the original vision by making no substitutions or revisions.

Our third stop was the Monster's, Inc. Laugh Floor, where my friend was the butt of an unfortunate and unwelcome joke from the two-headed comedians about the color of his shirt. The quality of that show correlates very highly with the level of engagement from (or bafflement of) the crowd, so I resolved on a second showing in the future. My friend did manage to get amusement from the success of one of the cast member's jokes at my expense: advised that, "Sir, you've dropped your pocket," I ducked to retrieve it before thinking through what had been said.

In this particular case, there were two memorable audience members. The first, a school-aged kid of about 9, declared that his favorite book was Captain Underpants when questioned by the two-headed comedian, and was obliged to explain the character to the crowd, which was very entertaining. "That Guy" turned out to be a gentleman wearing a shirt saying, "I don't do much in church, and I won't do much here," which set him up for a lot of good banter, especially when it came to the promotion he received at the end of the show.

I really like Laugh floor for the level of inter-activity involved. I respect Disney for taking the risk of crowd engagement. To modify a remark of Dr. Ian Malcolm's from Jurassic Park, the difference is that, if the Pirates of the Caribbean ride breaks down, the guests don't feel insulted, and you can never catch a pirate king flubbing his lines. At the same time, the ride doesn't change on repeat viewings, which is a really great draw. I hope Disney does more to give guests experiences like the one they receive at Laugh Floor. Mindful of the recommendation of Steve Porter on the DIS, I would make it a point to return to the Laugh Floor to see different routines later in the trip.

Space Ranger Spin was next. I like the gimmick, and the queue is attractive (the main screen is one of those old viewfinder toys, a la Toy Story), but we forgot to look up tips and tricks beforehand. Both my friend and I turned in very poor showings, probably in large part due to my erratic management of our positioning. My friend did not appreciate the impact of my piloting on his digestion.

We declined the choking smog of Tomorrowland Speedway. In 2016, the steering was so poor, I felt a prisoner in the ride vehicle. Our next stop was a Stitch photo op, followed by one with Goofy in Storybookland. Both were packed, and between them, we ate up about 90 minutes. Not much to say there. I think we were both satisfied with the results, but it was an important lesson on crowd size even in late September. The crowds were so large, I was loathe to try for anything ambitious in terms of poses or requests.

By dinnertime, we had also cycled through Pirates of the Caribbean and Jungle Cruise. Red was a great new addition to Pirates, and I didn't mind the replacement of the brides for sale, but I dislike the "intrusion" of the movie, a sentiment that increased in strength during this trip. It feels excessive to see Jack Sparrow so often during the ride, and I preferred the generic tale to the branded one, even if I understand Disney's despite to bring more IP to the parks. On the upside, I appreciate that even with the new theming, the ride tells a story of its own rather than retrace the movie plot, which I contend is a problem afflicting other Magic Kingdom stops like Peter Pan and the Winnie the Pooh ride.

We had a great dead-pan skipper for Jungle Cruise and left the ride just as a storm broke. On stand-by, this attraction was one of our longest waits of the entire trip at 25 minutes.

The Canteen

We ate our first table service meal at The Jungle Skipper Canteen. We were sat in the main dining room, whereas our 2016 meal had been in the library. Our waitress, Kristina, was hands down the best of the many great servers we had during the trip. The snarky waiter shtick is one that we have tried before, sometimes with disastrous results when the server resorts to bullying. Few waiters seem to know how to pull it off, but Kristina's emotional intelligence resulted in a perfect blend of absurdity and warmth that really played well with the Jungle Cruise ambiance. I consider myself a generous tipper in any setting, but I gave one of the largest tips in memory for this meal and felt like I got my money's worth in care.

As I had tried the shu mai and lamb in 2016, I sampled the cachapas and "A Lot of Steak" salad this time. The cachapas were probably not as good as the shu mai, but the dish did come loaded up with toppings, which were both tasty and filling. The steak salad was huge and excellent, and if you are a fan of Thai steak salad, I urge you to try this version, which will please. I declined to finish it all or order dessert because we still had one final eat planned for the evening.

After dinner, we rode a very crowded Disney monorail through the Contemporary over to the Polynesian Resort, which is one of my favorite in terms of theming, especially after the sun has gone down. Sadly, I did not get to see the maintenance tractor operating on the line, which I always look out for.

A Bad Trade

Trader Sam's Grog Grotto was our final stop of the first night in 2016 and really seemed to have earned its chops. Arriving late on a Saturday night, we had outdoor table service, grabbing a Portuguese sausage dish that has now disappeared and the Bánh Mì sliders, washed down with a pair of Schweitzer Falls drinks in souvenir tiki cups.

I love tiki culture, and the Grog Grotto's outdoor seating area is pretty eye-catching. My friend isn't big on the drinks, but I tend to enjoy them, and that held true on this visit.

This time, the host stand was empty and, unassisted by the restaurant staff, we ended up at the bar counter. Both of us had hoped to purchase a Nautilus drink cup, sans alcohol. Sadly, the cast members insisted that the cup could be sold only with the drink inside--at a price of $55. While we found this gobstopping, we were polite about it and simply placed a different order. My friend still hoped to find a work-around, so he got up and sought out a manager inside the resort, where he made the request again. He was then advised that the cup itself is not in Disney's computer system as an independent item, meaning there is no way to tabulate the check for such a purchase. My friend thanked them and returned to the table, but we struggled with the experience. This seemed like a strange case in which the park put the customer out so as not to have to do any paperwork at the end of the night. It's the kind of logic I would never want to offer to leadership at my workplace because it really amounts to: "I inconvenienced the stakeholder to avoid work for myself." It could also have been service recovery for the seating drop and long wait times we experienced for food and drink. While we were finishing our meal, servers began visiting other tables while ignoring our own. I fear that I will be unable to convince my friend to return to Trader Sam's on a future visit because it left such a bad impression this time.

Return to the Caribbean Beach

After perusing the gift shops (I love how Polynesian sells dime store novels, since I'm a big consumer of quick reads while in line for rides), we decided to make our grand exit via taxi. (My friend prefers them to Lyft because he is more comfortable with the vetting of a traditional medallion cab service.)

Unfortunately, the two staff on duty at the car port post were slow to be helpful. Eventually, we were advised that they were unable to get through to the taxi cab dispatcher, probably because it was the same time that the parks were letting out.

In deference to the clock, we sought and obtained a cheap Lyft ride back to our resort.

It's Gone Missing!

This year, we were both pleasantly surprised to find that all of our luggage had arrived by the time we were ready to turn in, and we retrieved it from the bell station at the Customs House before boarding the internal resort shuttle to Martinique, where we were staying.

The room was disappointing. I don't recall being so underwhelmed on my last visit, although we'd had a beach view. This time, we had a parking lot view, but also a corner section with exterior windows on two sides, so it should have been a wash. The room lacked for decor excepting the sliding doors flanking the sinks and closet area. The toilet and shower were in a separate water closet-type space. One picture, a pleasant landscape of a Caribbean island town, was on the wall by the television.

Customarily, one of the two of us orders a welcome basket. This year, we were looking forward to celebrating some important health milestones. Sadly, the basket had not been delivered when we got up to the room and we had to spent 45 minutes on the phone trying to find it, most of it on hold. The cast member who took our call eventually returned with a pledge to do his best in the day ahead.

This was disappointing primarily because we were mentally prepared to celebrate on Day One. Part of that owes to the fact that we were following a very tight schedule, and part to simple anticipation.