Taking the nanny??

[pwoodham]

We have a young woman who helps me with our youngest two children while I'm home schooling the older three for about 5 hours a day. She doesn't live with us.
My MIL just decided to go to WDW with us, which means we're getting an extra room and would have space to invite our "nanny" to go with us. She's never been to WDW, and of course, I can think of no better gift for someone who's been wonderful to our family. We would pay her expenses, including airfare, food, lodging, and tickets. I also would not expect her to do excess "babysitting." We had planned to get Fairy Godmothers for 2 nights (Cirque and Illuminations Cruise) as well as sending the boys to the Kid's Clubs a couple times, and we won't change those plans, so she would be able to attend both of these with us. Of course, she would be in the studio portion of our two bedroom with my MIL and one or two kids, and I'm sure she'll end up helping them dress & eat, cleaning up after them, watching for them in the parks, etc. OTOH, so will everyone else in the party. My problem is that I really can't afford to pay her for the week. It's costing us so much already I feel like if that's the only way she could accompany us, we'd just not be able to ask her. She won't get paid if she stays at home, either, since I pay her by the hour, not a salary. Do you think it would be tacky of me to invite her and then tell her we can't pay her for being with us?

 

[whtyger97]

I think that as long as you don't expect her to explictly watch the kids, ie cancel the other babysitters, its kewl. If you planned on having her watch the kids while you went off and did other stuff then i think it would be more of an issue, but still most ppl i know would be willing to take a free trip to disney.

 

[lisaost]

Hey, it's the bartering system at it's finest: two nights of babysitting in exchange for an all expense paid trip....I think she's making out on the deal!! You're right though, of course she would probably help out voluntarily like you said. I know I'd say yes if it were me! Just let her know that she can decline and just take the week off too and you won't be upset. I think your offer is very kind and proper.

 

[ks2boysmom]

My only advice would be to make sure that you have a clear discussion about the way you expect things to go...using examples of dressing the kids, perhaps giving them a bath, etc. We had a non live-in nanny for 3 1/2 years and she was like family, but we still at times had those 'uncomfortable' situations arise over seemingly petty things. Through experience, I've found that clarity in the up-front conversations can save feelings later. I'd say take her if there's room!

 

[lisaost]

oh wait....you said you were taking her with you....so it's a total gift to her with no strings attached!! Even better!!!! Even more generous, that's very nice of you.

 

[llp479]

We've taken our college-age babysitter, and all of our au-pairs to WDW. We've paid their expenses while there, and they have been able to relax and enjoy the trip with us. As you said, they helped with the girls as a family memeber would - ie: dressing them, bathing, making sure they didn't get lost, etc.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask her to go, explain what you would pay for on her behalf, and then also explain that you would be doing so instead of paying her to watch the kids for that week. We're expected to pay our au pair, even on their vacation,(US State Department Regs) but a couple of the girls have specifically told us not to pay them for the time we were in WDW.

It certainly can't hurt to ask her. We've had wonderful trips with our au pairs, and the joy of seeing them experience WDW for the first time.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Just another idea ,but here goes. If she needs to be paid for that week, you might consider dropping your WDW childcare and paying her with that money. WDW childcare is so expensive that I bet the amount between the cost of it and what you pay her per week would not be that great a difference. She could keep your children for those four nights or so and spend the majority of the time enjoying WDW as a family member. I also very much agree that the most important thing is to make sure everyone, including the kids, is,clear on whatever plan you decide on. I did a little nanny care MANY years ago and with a wonderful family that was able to work our many detail and make everyone happy. We are thinking of taking our niece on the next trip to help with the kids. Let us know how it all works out so I can use the pointers. I think it will be harder with a family member.

Jordan's mom

 

[Kermit]

I would just ask her. I used to be a nanny when I was in college. I went on vacations with my family, but not to WDW. They did pay me, but I'd probably have gone anyway if they hadn't. We always had a fun time.

I would try to give her some free time off. You could make some suggestions about things she might enjoy and maybe even get her a guide book ahead of time, and then frequently ask if she might want to go off by herself, without making it sound like you don't want her around. Also, you and she and your MIL may want to see if you can leave the kids with their dad and go have a fun ladies-only outing. My boss and I did that when we went places together, and we always had a blast.

 

[faith]

Sounds like your baby sitter is a wonderful girl. But wouldn't you rather have just a family vacation?
The kids might enjoy the time with just Mom, Dad, and grandma.

 

[snowmouse]

We have taken our babysitter on three different vacations. She is thrilled to come just in exchange for her expenses paid. She has seen and done things she wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to. For the most part she is along just as another member of our family, but I always try to make sure she gets a little alone time while we're there, too. (like a shopping afternoon or beach time without kids), My Dh and I also get a couple of evenings out alone in the deal and we have all been very happy with this arrangement.

I agree that it is really important to spell out everything ahead of the trip (for both of you) as to expectations.

 

[epcotfan]

You might want to ask her how she feels about sharing sleeping space with your MIL...Would they get along? The same question might be asked to your MIL as to how she feels about sharing a room with the nanny. Just a thought.

 

[momm2four]

If she doesn't know about it yet, I would tell her about your upcoming vacation to WDW, and let her know that you won't be home that week for her to watch the kids. Then, I'd smile and say that you, however, wish to pay her way and all her expenses as well when you go.

I like the idea of giving her the option of "earning" money to watch your kids instead of sending them to childcare centers or hiring someone else. If she needs the money, she can take you up on it, but if not she can just bow out.

What an absolutely wonderful thing for you to do! I would be thrilled if someone had done this for me when I was younger...heck, I'd be thrilled if someone did this for me now, lol.

Lori P.

 

[SleepyatDVC]

LOL! Some nannies have it so good!!

This thread reminded me of my Aunt (only 11 years older) who has 8 kids - all under 14 years olds! Her youngest is 4 months younger than my oldest 3 1/2 dd.

She homeschools her kids and they participate in a ton of activities - horses, tennis, ballet, etc. They are extremely bright and well-mannered.

Anyway, she has a Monday to Friday "nanny" who helps with the lessons and a list of babysitters that watch the kids when she teaches lessons to the older kids, runs errands, takes the some of the kids to dance class, the dentist, etc.

Basically, in the summer, the babysitter sits by the pool and watches the kids and feeds the kids lunch, etc.

My aunt takes the older kids to "school trips" all the time. And of course the nanny gets to go too. All expense trips to NYC to see the ballet, museums, US Open, etc., to London to see the plays and historical sights, to an Alaskan cruise to see the glaciers and whales, even to China on a land tour/river cruise. She has babysiiters at home to watch the younger kids. Even though they don't get to go, she buys them souveniers from the trips as tokens of appreciation. I've seen of of her gifts - really nice stuff - usually costs half of my entire souvenier budget!!

Sometimes, she takes all the kids on a family trip. She usually invites at least 2 "nannies/babysitters" and maybe a friend along to help (all expenses paid) . Her husband usually joins them for part of a 2 week vacation. He's too busy working in order to support his world-traveling wife and 8 kids!!! The nannies/siiters have gone to a few cruises, St. Thomas, and Disney World, of course!!

I don't think that she pays the nannies/sitters wages when they travel with her. I think the trip is payment enough. Believe me, when she travels first class, they do too. If they don't want to go, there are other sitters salivating to go.

All my relatives and I are so jealous of the siiters, we wish we could be her sitters!! But too bad we have families of our own!

While, I think that some nannies have it too good, I have to say that good childcare is worth it's weight in gold. My aunt is lucky to have good help that she can spoil!

Lest you think that my Aunt has an army of servants to help her raise her kids (well, maybe a squad), I have to point out that she and her husband are very hands-on parents. The help doesn't live-in (unless she's away). She obviously can't take all 8 of them out with her every time she has to go an errand!

 

[travelitis]

Sounds like a great deal for the Nanny without the week's pay. Hey, if she needs paid more than airfare, hotel, $200 or so in passport, etc., I know a mom of 3 who'd go with you, willingly sleep on the floor, forego extra payment, and still watch the kids and let you cancel the Fairy Godmothers.

 

[docswkids]

We took a sitter on a vacation to New Orleans and her "pay" was to go on the vacation as one of the family, all expenses paid. She sat for us at night and helped with the kids during the day, with no extra pay. It was spelled out ahead of time and I think she felt fine about it.