In DL see Finding Nemo sub ride, Matterhorn, Roger Rabbit cartoon sping and Indy since they don't have them in WDW. Use FP on Indy+RR. In DCA Califronia Screemin, fast pass, and Mosnter's Inc are the only rides that are not in WDW.
Also ride PTOC, Grizzly River Run becuse they are significantly different than theri WDW counterparts.
If they are up your alley also see Autopia and Alice in Wonderland, The tiki room and Mr Toads. There are different or not in MK.
I'd also watch Fantasmic and the fireworks because they are much better in DL than WDW. If you are there in the latter half of June see the new World of Color show in DCA.
Park hop between the two parks you can see one gate from the other so it's very conveinient. As far as splitting your time, DL will take some more time. DCA has had shorter hours so if this is the case I would spend each monrning and night in DL when DCA is closed. The hours though may differ than in the past with DCA's new attractions opening.
As far as eating try Blue Bayou in DL with your husband for the experience, it will require an ADR. Most of the other dining is more casual in DLR. I would recommend Cafe Orleans for a lunch and a lot of people like the French market as well.
