Spinoff - Do you take your own "leftovers" home?

[EscalatorKid]

Usually, what I make, there's not much left to take home. I have a monthly film/wine club meeting that I use as an excuse to try a new cookie/cake/dessert recipe. I usually parcel out the recipe-- a set amount for home, and most to take with me. I usually will put the few remaining pieces on a plate and take my tupperware with me.

For bigger barbecues and potlucks, unless what I make gets refrigerated or stays covered on ice, I don't take it back. I usually do pasta salads or orange fluff or Watergate salad, so no refrigeration is a no-go.

 

[slpeters]

I don't, but then again we don't really move in potluck type circles. I will only take something I brought home if pressed by the host to do so. I will say this is a fairly common thing--in my experience hosts will often try to get people to take the food the host provided home let alone food that they didn't even plan.

While I don't generally take something brought for a party home, on the other hand I am completely flummoxed at the idea that it's pariah behavior. The fact of the matter is that I'm always trying to get people to take food when they leave. On the other hand the fact is that every time I have thrown a cocktail party I have ended up with a net influx to the liquor cabinet--doesn't bother me a bit. People who drink beer know to bring it and take it when they go because we don't drink it.

The response that kind of blew my mind was the one where someone banned someone from their guest list for asking to take home a tin of cookies that her grandchildren liked. Seriously? Are you really that hard up for cookies? Frankly if you aren't worth a tin of cookies or bag of chips that no one even bothered to open, why the hell am I inviting you to my home?

 

[fla4fun]

I just don’t go to parties . . .

 

[tzolkin]

I once hosted a Super Bowl party and one of the guests brought a tin of cookies that went untouched. After the party, when she was leaving, she asked if she could take the cookies back with her, saying that her grandchildren liked them. Of course I said fine, but never again invited her to another get together.
I thought it was tacky at the least.
I understand, if you're at a relative's home or a close friend then maybe it's different but we were casual friends at best.

I’m really curious what you were thinking in this situation.

Did you not want to associate with her again because you really thought she was that rude?

Were you planning to eat the cookies yourself or use them for another party and were angry that she took them?

Did you consider the cookies a hostess gift and that’s why you found it rude for her to ask for them back?

I simply cannot fathom being bothered by anyone taking home something they brought to my home. I usually don’t like people to bring anything anyway so they are welcome (and encouraged) to take it home. And, even if I did believe it was rude, I can’t imagine it would rank on my list of “unforgivable offenses”.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I’m really curious what you were thinking in this situation.

Did you not want to associate with her again because you really thought she was that rude?

Were you planning to eat the cookies yourself or use them for another party and were angry that she took them?

Did you consider the cookies a hostess gift and that’s why you found it rude for her to ask for them back?

I simply cannot fathom being bothered by anyone taking home something they brought to my home. I usually don’t like people to bring anything anyway so they are welcome (and encouraged) to take it home. And, even if I did believe it was rude, I can’t imagine it would rank on my list of “unforgivable offenses”.

I am wondering these same things. If I had brought a tin of cookies that didn’t even get opened, I probably wouldn’t have even asked the hostess if I could take my own cookies home, I would have just picked up my tin as I was leaving.

 

[shoney]

I am wondering these same things. If I had brought a tin of cookies that didn’t even get opened, I probably wouldn’t have even asked the hostess if I could take my own cookies home, I would have just picked up my tin as I was leaving.

Really?
I have never been to a pot luck where everyone was expected to bring a dish in the sense that is talked about here. But people do bring things to parties. I always looked at it as a gift.
People bring beer and wine all the time. The beer gets added to the cooler for everyone. The wine put out for people to have. I would never just take back something
If someone said to me to please take home the cookies since we have to much left over then I would take them.

If I were invited to some of these pot lucks I would be breaking all the rules. Lol. First one would be grabbing a beer from the first cooler I see.

 

[mjkacmom]

Really?
I have never been to a pot luck where everyone was expected to bring a dish in the sense that is talked about here. But people do bring things to parties. I always looked at it as a gift.
People bring beer and wine all the time. The beer gets added to the cooler for everyone. The wine put out for people to have. I would never just take back something
If someone said to me to please take home the cookies since we have to much left over then I would take them.

If I were invited to some of these pot lucks I would be breaking all the rules. Lol. First one would be grabbing a beer from the first cooler I see.

I would think it was odd to take the cookies back (although not odd enough to take her off of the list). I’ve left unopened bottles of wine behind for the hosts. Once you bring it, it belongs to the hosts, although many times they insists the guests bring it home.

 

[nicolita3]

I would probably think no one liked the cookies I brought if no one ate them and would take them back thinking they wouldn't get eaten.

 

[ronandannette]

I’m really curious what you were thinking in this situation.

Did you not want to associate with her again because you really thought she was that rude?

Were you planning to eat the cookies yourself or use them for another party and were angry that she took them?

Did you consider the cookies a hostess gift and that’s why you found it rude for her to ask for them back?

I simply cannot fathom being bothered by anyone taking home something they brought to my home. I usually don’t like people to bring anything anyway so they are welcome (and encouraged) to take it home. And, even if I did believe it was rude, I can’t imagine it would rank on my list of “unforgivable offenses”.

Agree completely with the bolded. As to "ghosting" the cookie lady, well, there's been a lot of things mentioned in this thread and others like it that I personally would never do, but they are SO NOT A BIG DEAL. Why would anybody get bitter about them? Heck, the worst thing here is the rude kids that drank the lemonade and since everyone involved was family, I'm sure they're all still getting together just fine.

 

[luvsJack]

Really?
I have never been to a pot luck where everyone was expected to bring a dish in the sense that is talked about here. But people do bring things to parties. I always looked at it as a gift.
People bring beer and wine all the time. The beer gets added to the cooler for everyone. The wine put out for people to have. I would never just take back something
If someone said to me to please take home the cookies since we have to much left over then I would take them.

If I were invited to some of these pot lucks I would be breaking all the rules. Lol. First one would be grabbing a beer from the first cooler I see.

Pot luck works the same way. Whatever anyone brings is put out for everyone. Beer is brought in coolers but are set out for everyone. So you wouldn’t be breaking any rules by grabbing a beer out of the closest cooler. Some people only drink one kind and that’s what they bring and what they drink, others don’t care so drink whatever. It’s not all in one cooler (most of us don’t have coolers quite that big) but it is for everyone. At the end of the party or cook out, everyone takes their cooler home and whatever is in it.

Bring wine, it’s chilled in the cooler or fridge and offered to everyone. Rarely any left to take home and most would only possibly grab unopened bottles they brought and usually after asking the host if they want it.

Keep in mind, everyone here stays at least to the clean up stage. Everyone pitches in with the clean up and putting away of leftovers. During the process, everyone is asked if they want to take any of this or that and it’s divided up.

So Suzy brought one dessert and Lisa brought another. Suzy May take home some of Lisa’s dessert and some of her own and visa versa. Or it may be divided up betweeen several people.

Cook outs, craw fish boils and the like may include 50-100 people. Everyone brings at least one dish, sometimes more and everyone brings beer, wine, drinks or a jug of tea. No one wants to keep all that.

And here, a tin of cookies or a bag of chips may not get opened as there is so much home cooked stuff. And the person who brought them is always just expected to take them. They bought them and they weren’t touched. Why would they be expected to leave them? Pot luck doesn’t usually include “hostess gifts”.

 

[Wishing on a star]

It would obviously vary! A lot....
Do not even know why one would ask, or think it just had to be one way or another.

As for me, personally.... as often as not, those that come into my home leave with more than they came with!!!!!

And to harbor such angst and hatred, and to ostracize what seems to be a nice human being, over a TIN OF COOKIES, for her grandchildren.
WOW....
I would rather not accept invitations from a person who would be like that.

 

[Micca]

Wouldn't take stuff I brought to a party unless the host insisted. If they say some along the lines of "We don't eat that and it will just go to waste" then I'll take it home because that saves them the trouble of tossing it.

 

[shoney]

Pot luck works the same way. Whatever anyone brings is put out for everyone. Beer is brought in coolers but are set out for everyone. So you wouldn’t be breaking any rules by grabbing a beer out of the closest cooler. Some people only drink one kind and that’s what they bring and what they drink, others don’t care so drink whatever. It’s not all in one cooler (most of us don’t have coolers quite that big) but it is for everyone. At the end of the party or cook out, everyone takes their cooler home and whatever is in it.

Bring wine, it’s chilled in the cooler or fridge and offered to everyone. Rarely any left to take home and most would only possibly grab unopened bottles they brought and usually after asking the host if they want it.

Keep in mind, everyone here stays at least to the clean up stage. Everyone pitches in with the clean up and putting away of leftovers. During the process, everyone is asked if they want to take any of this or that and it’s divided up.

So Suzy brought one dessert and Lisa brought another. Suzy May take home some of Lisa’s dessert and some of her own and visa versa. Or it may be divided up betweeen several people.

Cook outs, craw fish boils and the like may include 50-100 people. Everyone brings at least one dish, sometimes more and everyone brings beer, wine, drinks or a jug of tea. No one wants to keep all that.

And here, a tin of cookies or a bag of chips may not get opened as there is so much home cooked stuff. And the person who brought them is always just expected to take them. They bought them and they weren’t touched. Why would they be expected to leave them? Pot luck doesn’t usually include “hostess gifts”.

I would love to join one of your crab boils. Sounds awesome.

Things just don’t seems to be done like that in our circles. No right or wrong.

Hosts take on a bit more of the responsibility so people leave what they bring as a gift unless otherwise asked.

 

[kimblebee]

I once hosted a Super Bowl party and one of the guests brought a tin of cookies that went untouched. After the party, when she was leaving, she asked if she could take the cookies back with her, saying that her grandchildren liked them. Of course I said fine, but never again invited her to another get together.
I thought it was tacky at the least.
I understand, if you're at a relative's home or a close friend then maybe it's different but we were casual friends at best.

Do your guests know that their food is the price of admission to your house?

 

[Skellingtonj]

I’m really curious what you were thinking in this situation.

Did you not want to associate with her again because you really thought she was that rude?

Were you planning to eat the cookies yourself or use them for another party and were angry that she took them?

Did you consider the cookies a hostess gift and that’s why you found it rude for her to ask for them back?

I simply cannot fathom being bothered by anyone taking home something they brought to my home. I usually don’t like people to bring anything anyway so they are welcome (and encouraged) to take it home. And, even if I did believe it was rude, I can’t imagine it would rank on my list of “unforgivable offenses”.

All this.

 

[Skellingtonj]

No unless we are forced to. It rarely happens. What we bring we bring for all to enjoy. But i don’t care if someone else does it.

 

[ronandannette]

We hosted a party this evening to watch a live sporting event. It was most definitely NOT a potluck and everybody knew it. Dinner, snacks through the evening and both hard and soft drinks were provided by us.

One couple brought a dessert, the other two couples both brought liquor. The dessert lady took her container home but insisted I keep the baking (which I did only because it seemed so important to her). The other two couples took home whatever was left of their beverages although they did ask if we would enjoy keeping it. I declined because we don't drink much. If I was the guest I wouldn't have done either of these things but I'm also not offended by any of it. They're all certainly welcome back again any time.

 

[Cubbiecakes]

Usually, what I make, there's not much left to take home. I have a monthly film/wine club meeting that I use as an excuse to try a new cookie/cake/dessert recipe. I usually parcel out the recipe-- a set amount for home, and most to take with me. I usually will put the few remaining pieces on a plate and take my tupperware with me.

For bigger barbecues and potlucks, unless what I make gets refrigerated or stays covered on ice, I don't take it back. I usually do pasta salads or orange fluff or Watergate salad, so no refrigeration is a no-go.

Totally with you on this... if it's not on ice, I'm just going to throw it away. I'm not risking serious food poisoning for any potluck.

Wouldn't take stuff I brought to a party unless the host insisted. If they say some along the lines of "We don't eat that and it will just go to waste" then I'll take it home because that saves them the trouble of tossing it.

When we host and the evening wraps up, we always exhort people to "take their food, because we're just going to toss it." And when the last guest leaves, we toss it all (see food poisoning, above).

 

[Magical2017]

It depends. When I am visiting a friend I leave everything there. For holiday/family functions like Thanksgiving, we rotate at family member's houses. The family member that hosts always sends food home with each family. DH has ten siblings so there is always way too much food.

 

[luvsJack]

I would love to join one of your crab boils. Sounds awesome.

Things just don’t seems to be done like that in our circles. No right or wrong.

Hosts take on a bit more of the responsibility so people leave what they bring as a gift unless otherwise asked.

Oh yes! You would truly enjoy! Ds and Dil have one boil yearly that includes his family, her family, friends they went to school with, his friends from work and everyone seems to bring extra people. They set up yard games like horse shoes and corn hole. Everyone brings a ton of food. It’s just a totally enjoyable day.

Last year, for mother’s day, Dd and sil did one big gathering for me and his mom. So both families and some good friends from south Louisiana who ended up doing the cooking. We had a great time.

No right or wrong way to get together with friends. And I have been to a few cook outs like you describe. I always feel guilty for the host taking on so much but it’s usually those that just enjoy doing it all; so for them it’s the right way. It’s all good.