In recent years I was informed by mental-health professionals that there are actually 3 typical emotional/physiological responses to extreme stress: Fight/Flight/Freeze. I found this information fascinating as it really illuminated some of my own behaviors and what I observe in other people. Which one are you? https://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/fight-flight-freeze Myself and my DS are total freezers while DH is a flight guy. Intuitively over the years I've learned to cope by pre-thinking a lot of worst-case-scenarios, which is the only way I'd have a fighting chance of being anything less than totally useless in a crisis. Since learning this was a "thing" I've also tried to gently lead my DS in this direction too because he is prone to anxiety and makes very poor decisions (or no decisions at all) when he's feeling threatened. It really explains a lot of how his late-adolescence and early-adulthood has unfolded and gives us hope for a more successful path going forward. DH will just rapidly remove himself either physically or emotionally, from any perceived threat, and I always though this was denial, but I see it differently now. When we're in conflict I don't pursue him too aggressively because that just makes the withdrawal worse. Little insights like this have really helped our relationships and blessedly none of us have ever been confronted by a serious disaster where our mettle would truly be tested.