"So.. are you pregnant?" Ugh.. RANT!!

[Principessa1284]

So, we just got engaged a few weeks ago at DTD and I can't tell you how many people - some who I barely know - have asked if I was pregnant!! First of all, that's NONE of their gosh darn business. Second of all, is that the only reason why a couple can decide to get married? Can't we just get married cuz we love each other and want to have a life together? I couldn't believe it - even my own mother asked if I was pregnant. Seriously, mom? You think I wouldn't tell you?

My favorite is a handful of conversations that went like this;
Me: Brandon and I are engaged!
Person: Are you pregnant??
Me: Um.. no.
Person: OH.. well, then congrats!!

So, apparently if I WAS pregnant, being engaged would not be a reason to celebrate. C'mon now.. seriously, people. What would it matter if I WAS pregnant? Part of me can understand their thinking since DFi and I haven't been together for 6 months yet, but I'm seriously sick to death of that question.


*Rant over*

 

[rebecca_boo]

Congrats on the engagement!

 

[PrincessMonkey]

How awkward!

Congratulations on your engagement!

 

[Bolanette87]

I completely get where you're coming from... When we first got engaged I got asked: "Oh, it'll not be long before the patter of little feet then?"... When we reply: "Actually, we don't want children." we get looks of horror and get told: "Well, whats the point in getting married then?" I completely understand and I find it frustrating too!!!

Congratulations on your engagement!

Bob xoxoxox

 

[Chilly]

Congratulations!

I keep getting asked if I'll be having children soon as well.

 

[Sarah <3 Disney]

Congrats!

And just try your best to ignore the comments. You should be enjoying this time!

 

[girli565]

I was at a friend's house Saturday who has been married for a year now, we were talking about how everyone seems to think that engaged/married=children right away, hahaha!

She said, "once you're married it's like your uterus is public property, everyone's just expecting you to be pregnant!" I laughed so hard!

Before the engagement Danny and I had been together for almost 4 years, so everyone seemed to think we had to be either engaged or married soon. Now that we got engaged it's like everyone has a timeline for when we need to get pregnant. They will be sorely disappointed when it doesn't happen for another 3-5 years.

 

[rebecca_boo]

I was at a friend's house Saturday who has been married for a year now, we were talking about how everyone seems to think that engaged/married=children right away, hahaha!

She said, "once you're married it's like your uterus is public property, everyone's just expecting you to be pregnant!" I laughed so hard!

Before the engagement Danny and I had been together for almost 4 years, so everyone seemed to think we had to be either engaged or married soon. Now that we got engaged it's like everyone has a timeline for when we need to get pregnant. They will be sorely disappointed when it doesn't happen for another 3-5 years.

OMG puplic property, that is sooooooo funny!

 

[Tink&PirateMama]

When we were engaged we were also asked that.... and then when we eloped EVERYONE assumed it was because of that!

I agree with what was said about uterus being public property once married- you will be asked 'when you are having kids' pretty much from here on out!!

But to warn you....

The worst is when you actually ARE pregnant- then everyone just thinks they can touch your belly and stare at you and ask you the rudest personal questions!! And ofcourse there's preparing for childbirth and everyone has an opinion on that one! And hey, once you have kids... it keeps going... how long do you nurse, when are they potty trained, what are you doing about this or that... and then WHEN ARE YOU HAVING A SIBLING (which is usually either too long of a wait, or too close together depending on who you are speaking with)! It doesn't end!!

 

[malibustacey]

When we were engaged we were also asked that.... and then when we eloped EVERYONE assumed it was because of that!

I agree with what was said about uterus being public property once married- you will be asked 'when you are having kids' pretty much from here on out!!

But to warn you....

The worst is when you actually ARE pregnant- then everyone just thinks they can touch your belly and stare at you and ask you the rudest personal questions!! And ofcourse there's preparing for childbirth and everyone has an opinion on that one! And hey, once you have kids... it keeps going... how long do you nurse, when are they potty trained, what are you doing about this or that... and then WHEN ARE YOU HAVING A SIBLING (which is usually either too long of a wait, or too close together depending on who you are speaking with)! It doesn't end!!

oh gosh, that is my fear- everyone thinking they can just touch your belly!

Its the married couples choice when to start a family- not other people's. It so terrible that people just jump to the conclusion that you are pregnant because you are engaged / getting married- i would never ever ever dream of asking someone if they are pregnant because they are engaged!

Anyway, congrats to you!

 

[Saraheg2107]

Seriously! The same thing happened to me! I was not a happy camper. Most people were all congratulations and all that, this one girl, however, texted my DF and asked if I was pregnant. Never mind that DF and I have been together for a few years, never mind that DF and I were looking at houses for a few months already -nope! We got engaged so obviously I must be pregnant because no one gets engaged for anything else anymore apparently. Sorry, still a bit of a sore sport for me, even 6 months later.....

 

[Wish on a Star]

People said the same thing to me! We were dating for 9months and engaged for 9 months. That part I never understood- why would I have a 9 month engagement if I were pregnant?

 

[girli565]

I think the reason people assume is bc of things happening around you. I have a friend who is pregnant, not married to the father of the baby but living with him in his mother's house with his 3 younger brothers. Her situation sucks and it's a common story among people I know, friends/people at work/acquaintences. SO I guess people just assume that it's the norm, so when I got engaged that was the first thing people thought.

The people that I call my friends knew better than to ask because they know how I am but other people... have no problem asking such a rude question.

 

[Sweetsus]

We got engaged fairly early in our relationship too - we were only together like 4 and a half months or so. Thankfully its only been recently that people have started hinting and asking about children (and we've been engaged nearly 8 years now - I know - we took our time)

Its hard but try to ignore their comments - if you ask me they're probably just jealous. They're just looking for something to dampen your celebrations!

Congratulations btw!

 

[GrillMouster]

...are you?
Sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

[Wish on a Star]

...are you?
Sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

[Principessa1284]

...are you?
Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Hahaha... nope, I'm not. Well, at least to my knowledge.. but it's extraordinarily unlikely.

 

[figment fan21]

OMG I WAS ASKED THE SAME QUESTION!!!!! I hated it... we had bought a house a month and a half before we got engaged and people kept asking me too. Forget them! Oh and Bob, DF and I aren't really into having kids any time soon or at all for that matter and we got the whole "then why are you getting married?" too... seriously people need to get a life and stop butting in.

Congrats and happy wedding planning!

 

[ChocoKat]

ROFL

OMG What is with some peeps?
I got the same when I up and left and married DH (with my parents blessing mind you)

People were utterly convinced I was pregnant and it was a shotgun wedding. Guess we disappointed them greatly!

 

[Elsha]

Personally I don't think you can win either way.
I did get pregnant, and we decided to wait to get married until after our daughter was born. We wanted to make sure that our family and friends knew we weren't getting married because of the kid.

That being said...there was the 7 months of "Aren't you getting married?" as well as the belly pats and annoyingly rude questions as a previous poster mentioned. Followed by a quiet city hall wedding which netted me tons of "Why wasn't I invited?".

4 years later we still get asked when the sibling is coming (never), and every last spec of our parenting is up for shots.

So again...I've concluded...you just can't win.