SIL (62) planning to go on SS with no savings(Update #77)

[starry_solo]

A fairly easy suggestion, if asked, would be to help her find senior citizen apartments/housing. Often they rent on a sliding scale.

Not sure how your senior citizen apartments are, but where I live, they are like Section 8. Go quickly and have a long waiting list of people. Some have stopped waiting lists

 

[arminnie]

I started out life in horrible poverty. I had nothing and had no safety net.

So what I have earned is MINE. it is not available for others who have not taken advantage of life's opportunities. Virtually any one I know had a 100 times more opportunities than I did. So if someone pissed off those opportunities - not my problem.

I will not make comments about other's decisions - but I also will not bail them out.

 

[Ashley Monroe]

These types of people cannot be helped. Fiscally responsible folks (like us budget boarders!) so want to make others understand the importance of good money management, but it can fall on deaf ears. If one hasn’t been concerned about saving for retirement their entire life, then one should not expect to have anything in later life. There are numerous social programs that will keep them fed and not homeless, and many plan to just rely on them.

Kind of related story: In a recent departmental meeting the topic of our company 401(k) came up. Two ladies mentioned that they had never bothered to enroll. They have each been with the company for six years. I wanted to come out of my skin! I (miraculously) kept a lid on it while a fellow fiscally minded co-worker explained the match that the company offers that they had been missing out on. It didn’t seem to concern them at all. One is a single 37yo mother who, after admitting to having nothing saved, actually said, “I’m young, there’s still time to save.” I really almost lost it. I’ve been saving and compounding and reinvesting for my entire 22 working years and I think I won’t have enough!

I guess if you’ve never had anyone telling and teaching you about investing then it doesn’t concern you. Ignorance is truly bliss. But if this board has taught me anything, it’s that every day we make our choices with our money. Someone else’s choices may not be mine, and mine aren’t theirs, but you do what you want with your money, and I’ll do what I please with mine! We all set our own priorities.

****WOW!!! You are so arrogant and "not judging but----". PLEASE! Your ENTIRE rambling was nothing but judgmental and assumptions.

What IF she DID save and lost it all? What if she has a horrible (GOD FORBID) life-ending disease and just wants to enjoy her last days without letting everyone know so the pity-party doesn't start? WHAT IF???? Are you her? Or any of these other women you speak of so negatively? You are quite assuming in your know-it-all-attitude you so blatantly throw out there but wow, lighten up. LIFE is NOT about the amount of cash in your wallet or the THINGS you OWN. BUT it ***IS*** about the decisions we make, the people we love, the places we go, the humanity we share. SPOILER- YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU.

Who are YOU to decide these women have made "mistakes" or are not "fiscally minded"? You do NOT live in their home, hearts, or lives. The next time you decide to be so ridiculously and narcissistic about "your" fiscally minded opinion, PLEASE do us all a favor and ACTUALLY "keep a lid on it". We are here to SAVE money on DISNEY TRIPS, not judge others for not saving how we want or would like...you know...IN THEIR LIFE.

Thanks

 

[gwynne]

Not sure how your senior citizen apartments are, but where I live, they are like Section 8. Go quickly and have a long waiting list of people. Some have stopped waiting lists

Pretty sure the situation varies from city to city, and state to state. It's just an option to consider. Many would say that housing is a significant expense. It might be worth at least a look if OP's SIL is struggling down the road.

 

[crisi]

****WOW!!! You are so arrogant and "not judging but----". PLEASE! Your ENTIRE rambling was nothing but judgmental and assumptions.

What IF she DID save and lost it all? What if she has a horrible (GOD FORBID) life-ending disease and just wants to enjoy her last days without letting everyone know so the pity-party doesn't start? WHAT IF???? Are you her? Or any of these other women you speak of so negatively? You are quite assuming in your know-it-all-attitude you so blatantly throw out there but wow, lighten up. LIFE is NOT about the amount of cash in your wallet or the THINGS you OWN. BUT it ***IS*** about the decisions we make, the people we love, the places we go, the humanity we share. SPOILER- YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU.

Who are YOU to decide these women have made "mistakes" or are not "fiscally minded"? You do NOT live in their home, hearts, or lives. The next time you decide to be so ridiculously and narcissistic about "your" fiscally minded opinion, PLEASE do us all a favor and ACTUALLY "keep a lid on it". We are here to SAVE money on DISNEY TRIPS, not judge others for not saving how we want or would like...you know...IN THEIR LIFE.

Thanks

We spend a lot of time on this board examining other people's choices. We do that because in examining people's choices, that helps us define our own values and learn. You may say "well, I don't agree with that post" - that helps you define your values. Our topics go pretty far from how to save money on a Disney trip, and if you don't like those topics, don't enter the threads. But its been this way on this board for years.

The internet gives us a place to do this with anonymity. We don't know her or her coworkers. But she probably has pretty good insight into their lives - she probably knows what sorts of cars they drive, when and where they vacation, how often they go out to dinner - and whether they had life threatening diseases. At least in any office I've been in, I can do a pretty good estimate on who is spending thousands every year on dance and purses and who brings lunch and drives a beater. I know who is married to someone who makes good money, and who is supporting a stay at home spouse and who has kids is college. Sometimes there are things I don't know, which is why, if I were going to talk about 401ks in the office, I'd couch it in educational terms - but lets give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she educated them on the value of the match and the benefit of compounding (and kept to herself that 37 is not young when you are talking retirement planning!)

And, I think she's right. Post-boomers can't depend on Social Security providing us a secure retirement. It is important that people save for retirement. If it takes a coworker to wake you up to that fact, at least someone tried. And, if having been educated, you still decide not to save, then its on you. You will not believe how often we hear "no one taught me" around here on money issues.

 

[piccolopat]

There are a lot of people who don't plan for retirement. That's on them. If I were the OP, I would respect DH's wishes but I would also have a discussion now on what we would do if SIL asks for money later on. It is easier to come up with a plan before a crisis than to wait and have all the emotions clouding your judgment. SIL's options for employment may be limited at her age, but she can likely get some employment to supplement SS and adjust her spending to make things work. Whether she will is another story, but in the end it is SIL's responsibility not OP's. OP and her DH can be there for emotional support and whatever financial support they agree together to offer SIL should an emergency arise.

 

[lustergirl]

We spend a lot of time on this board examining other people's choices. We do that because in examining people's choices, that helps us define our own values and learn. You may say "well, I don't agree with that post" - that helps you define your values. Our topics go pretty far from how to save money on a Disney trip, and if you don't like those topics, don't enter the threads. But its been this way on this board for years.

The internet gives us a place to do this with anonymity. We don't know her or her coworkers. But she probably has pretty good insight into their lives - she probably knows what sorts of cars they drive, when and where they vacation, how often they go out to dinner - and whether they had life threatening diseases. At least in any office I've been in, I can do a pretty good estimate on who is spending thousands every year on dance and purses and who brings lunch and drives a beater. I know who is married to someone who makes good money, and who is supporting a stay at home spouse and who has kids is college. Sometimes there are things I don't know, which is why, if I were going to talk about 401ks in the office, I'd couch it in educational terms - but lets give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she educated them on the value of the match and the benefit of compounding (and kept to herself that 37 is not young when you are talking retirement planning!)

And, I think she's right. Post-boomers can't depend on Social Security providing us a secure retirement. It is important that people save for retirement. If it takes a coworker to wake you up to that fact, at least someone tried. And, if having been educated, you still decide not to save, then its on you. You will not believe how often we hear "no one taught me" around here on money issues.

Sorry I agree with the other poster and have stated so. It is the way that the response was posted that makes this person sound like a judgmental jerk. I spend alot of time on these boards as well but not to judge others. And I could care less how people spend their money. I guess I consider myself fortunate that I don't dwell on my coworker's lives or what they do with their money. None of my business. What you think is important may not be important for others. My coworkers don't know alot about my personal life and I plan on keeping it that way.

 

[Mizzoufan]

Even though someone opinion differs from mind why would that stop me from helping?

 

[crisi]

Sorry I agree with the other poster and have stated so. It is the way that the response was posted that makes this person sound like a judgmental jerk. I spend alot of time on these boards as well but not to judge others. And I could care less how people spend their money. I guess I consider myself fortunate that I don't dwell on my coworker's lives or what they do with their money. None of my business. What you think is important may not be important for others. My coworkers don't know alot about my personal life and I plan on keeping it that way.

And I think stating so makes that poster sound like a judgemental jerk. Which makes me a judgemental jerk and you a judgemental jerk. No one wins this game without keeping their mouth shut or not caring about being a judgemental jerk.

 

[lustergirl]

And I think stating so makes that poster sound like a judgemental jerk. Which makes me a judgemental jerk and you a judgemental jerk. No one wins this game without keeping their mouth shut or not caring about being a judgemental jerk.

Touche We are all judgemental jerks, lol. Have a nice day...

 

[Colleen27]

Not sure how your senior citizen apartments are, but where I live, they are like Section 8. Go quickly and have a long waiting list of people. Some have stopped waiting lists

That's the case for sliding-scale senior apartments here too, and there are means tests similar to those for Section 8 so if the SIL's spouse is working they might not qualify even if their income isn't enough to support their current lifestyle. Most senior housing isn't sliding-scale and is actually more expensive than comparable non-senior complexes because of the additional services they provide. The sliding-scale places are very limited and usually someone literally has to die for a spot to open up.

 

[crisi]

Its the human condition. We judge others. Its nice to try to be educational instead of judgy and patronizing, especially when talking directly to them - or to keep your mouth shut if you can't do that much. But its also very human to say "you won't believe how stupid this idiot was at work today!" And its also very human sometimes to just loose it. Not nice, but human.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

So because of your educational and degree background that gives you a right to judge others? So basically what you are saying is that only educated people can feel the way you do? I got some news for you. Even educated people can fall on hard times. And yes I do come from a job where people have advanced degrees. I guess you should feel blessed because of your situation and stop trying to judge others. You said it: you work for a non profit and no one makes big bucks. I could judge you and ask why you are working there then instead of somewhere paying more? Doesn't sound financially logical does it? Oh wait a minute I am judging you now.

I believe what PP was insinuating was that at the previous job, her coworkers were well educated, well paid, and still weren't saving.

So, while still judging, I do sort of get her "shock".

 

[eliza61]

I believe what PP was insinuating was that at the previous job, her coworkers were well educated, well paid, and still weren't saving.

So, while still judging, I do sort of get her "shock".

Actually Gumb, not really all that unusual. Companies are now thinking of making the default on 401k plans as enrollment. where you have to actually sign "out". my company matches dollar for dollar forthe first 6% and if you participate at the full 6%, they give you an additional 3%. You would think we would get 100% participation. nope 70% is about as high as we may get.


Don't get it. we have done in house surveys and it seems the biggest reason is, " we plan on starting next year" and before they know it, 10 years are gone.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Actually Gumb, not really all that unusual. Companies are now thinking of making the default on 401k plans as enrollment. where you have to actually sign "out". my company matches dollar for dollar forthe first 6% and if you participate at the full 6%, they give you an additional 3%. You would think we would get 100% participation. nope 70% is about as high as we may get.


Don't get it. we have done in house surveys and it seems the biggest reason is, " we plan on starting next year" and before they know it, 10 years are gone.

No, not unusual at all. I know many people who don't participate who could. Oh well.

 

[eliza61]

No, not unusual at all. I know many people who don't participate who could. Oh well.

I don't get it?? lol of course I always tell you guys I'm the materialistic weasel of the bunch. Free money folks, free money

 

[arminnie]

****WOW!!! You are so arrogant and "not judging but----". PLEASE! Your ENTIRE rambling was nothing but judgmental and assumptions.

What IF she DID save and lost it all? What if she has a horrible (GOD FORBID) life-ending disease and just wants to enjoy her last days without letting everyone know so the pity-party doesn't start? WHAT IF???? Are you her? Or any of these other women you speak of so negatively? You are quite assuming in your know-it-all-attitude you so blatantly throw out there but wow, lighten up. LIFE is NOT about the amount of cash in your wallet or the THINGS you OWN. BUT it ***IS*** about the decisions we make, the people we love, the places we go, the humanity we share. SPOILER- YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU.

Who are YOU to decide these women have made "mistakes" or are not "fiscally minded"? You do NOT live in their home, hearts, or lives. The next time you decide to be so ridiculously and narcissistic about "your" fiscally minded opinion, PLEASE do us all a favor and ACTUALLY "keep a lid on it". We are here to SAVE money on DISNEY TRIPS, not judge others for not saving how we want or would like...you know...IN THEIR LIFE.

Thanks

I think someone else needs to "put a lid on it".

 

[Colleen27]

No, not unusual at all. I know many people who don't participate who could. Oh well.

I don't get it either, and as someone stuck saving 100% on my own the high non-participation rates in employer plans baffles me. I'd love to have one! DH hasn't worked a job with an employer sponsored retirement plan in many years and I just can't wrap my mind around having one, especially with a match, and choosing not to take advantage of it.

 

[amylevan]

Actually Gumb, not really all that unusual. Companies are now thinking of making the default on 401k plans as enrollment. where you have to actually sign "out". my company matches dollar for dollar forthe first 6% and if you participate at the full 6%, they give you an additional 3%. You would think we would get 100% participation. nope 70% is about as high as we may get.


Don't get it. we have done in house surveys and it seems the biggest reason is, " we plan on starting next year" and before they know it, 10 years are gone.

My DH's company used to match 1/2 percent for up to 3% (ie, you put in 6%, company will put in 3%). In an effort to increase participation, they changed to matching percentages a few years ago, still up to 3%. That still didn't increase participation, so they now match up to 6%. And there still isn't more than about 70%. And this is an engineering office - where people work with numbers, people who you would assume understand compounding interest. Who turns down free money? Apparently, lots of people.

 

[eliza61]

My DH's company used to match 1/2 percent for up to 3% (ie, you put in 6%, company will put in 3%). In an effort to increase participation, they changed to matching percentages a few years ago, still up to 3%. That still didn't increase participation, so they now match up to 6%. And there still isn't more than about 70%. And this is an engineering office - where people work with numbers, people who you would assume understand compounding interest. Who turns down free money? Apparently, lots of people.

We've been studying this issue for a while at my job. Money is really a very interesting concept, so much of our background and environment influences our thought pattern.

For example, my dh and I really never had credit card debt, not because we understood the cc trap but simply because when we were growing up in the 60's people simply didn't use them. lol, I still remember when my mother got her first Montgomery Ward (google it, youngins, lol) credit card. I remember her showing it to her sisters like it was something special. I didn't get a credit card to way after college. Now today that's almost unheard of (in general folks)

With my son's suffer from a common problem of they think they are "invincible". as much as we taught them about living within their means, yada yada yada, their eyes glaze over when we talk about them retiring. My youngest favorite line is "seriously mom, you're worried about what happens when I retire?? I'm 20". they both work for major companies as they go to school and the only reason why the participate in their 401K's is to shut me up. lol.

like everyone here we run up against, many workers put themselves last. My groups ad min is a divorced single mom of two wonderful girls. her focus is on getting them through college. In her head, she knows that she has to save for retirement but her first priority is her girls. any thing she saves first goes to their college fund.

That's why I hate when we start bashing people here, using words like "those people" as if we are somehow superior. "those" people are educated, hard working forks. they are not usually spend thrifts, living la vida loca, in mcmansions ( that I see) they are simply folks who see that they have X number of dollars and prioritize a bit different.

July 1st we switch over to an "opt out" participation. everyone will have 2% automatically put into the 401K along with the 2% match. If you want to stop it you have to "opt out". we're hoping that people will simply not take the time to do it and 2% will actually kick a few dollars into folks paycheck because it lowers their tax liability.