Self induced disability/illness

[DisMN]

Do you know anyone who has a chronic problem but who seems to actually WANT the problem to get worse, and even seems to WANT to be on disability?

Someone close to me is behaving this way and I've never felt so frustrated in my life. I have diabetes and I know how much you have to putz and fuss with diet and keeping track of meds and stuff but dang, I want to continue to BE healthy and to LIVE healthy, ya know?

Help me understand why someone wouldn't want to stay healthy......especially when this person is only 30 years old.

I find it very difficult to have compassion or sympathy for this person when all they're doing is making the problem worse than it has to be. They will die from this problem and it will happen much much sooner because they don't seem to give a doodle. I just don't get it.

 

[JessicaR]

Yes, I know someone just like that! He is only 37 and all actions indicate hes looking to go out on disability and never work again. If he gets his way I do hope hes caught mowing the lawn or something similar shortly after. All I can come up with is he is lazy and his parents and brother are the same way.

I'm with you and it truly does baffle the brain why anyone would want this for themselves when it is not necessary.

 

[clgwli]

Yes I do. It is disheartening to see someone fairly young actually let themselves go to the point where they are doing more harm than good. It is frustrating when it would get better if they just followed doctors' orders. For me it is also sad to see them lose their home, their job and their family due to this.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

It sounds like there may be some depression going on with that person. Maybe they see the problem as being huge and insurmountable and have just given up trying.

The other reason people want to stay on disability is to commit fraud. They enjoy getting paid without working and try to milk it for all it's worth. I don't know if that's the case with the person you're talking about but it does happen.

I used to work in HR and we had several employees who faked illnesses and injuries to get paid time off. One woman claimed her wrist and elbow were injured from typing too much. She said she couldn't bend her elbow at all and always had her arm hanging to her side when she came to the office. She was put on disability, told to wear a brace full time and avoid as much activity with the arm as possible. She refiled for disability several times and the company finally sent an investigator to follow her. The report was hilarious. She was seen at Home Depot buying a new front door with her husband. She wasn't wearing the brace. She picked up one end of the door and hoisted it onto the cart. She also helped put the door in the car. She was then seen helping her husband hang the door and hold it in place while he put in the hardware. She stood back with her hand on her hip (the bad arm she supposedly couldn't bend) and admired the new door for 5 minutes.

Needless to say, her disability was cancelled!

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

http://rarediseases.about.com/cs/munchausensynd/

Munchausen Syndrome/Disease....very serious if not treated.

 

[DisMN]

Depression: check

Lazy: check

WANTS to be on disability: check

Did I mention lazy?: double check

Fraud (would fake something in order to get out of working): probable check.

I don't know if I've ever really known someone so young to be this lazy. Lazy to the point of ill health.......and when they already have health/lung issues they add smoking to the list? Oh my!!

(this person has a rare inherited lung disease)

 

[IndyBride]

I second the munchausen mention. Just be glad they are not hurting someone else for the attention instead...

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Munchausen is not based in documentable disease. It is an iotrogenic illness.

If the person has a physician's diagnosis and is non-compliant with treatment that is a different matter altogether.

Depression, due to an illness or disease needs to be ruled out. The person's ability to truly understand the disease, the disease process, the treatment and the consequences of non-compliance has to be addressed as well.

All well and easy to designate someone a malingerer, but generally speaking there are more often, medical issues which need to be fully and accurately addressed.

 

[DisMN]

I second the munchausen mention. Just be glad they are not hurting someone else for the attention instead...

No, I don't think it's munchausen because this person really DOES have an inherited disease but they have no desire to keep it at bay...... doing everything in their power to hasten the disease. But maybe the munchausen comes into play when they seem to actually want the disability part of it? I don't know.

It's gonna be sooooo hard not to say "I told you so" when an oxygen tank becomes necessary due to the self inflicted hastening of the disease. I suppose it's just like a lung cancer patient continuing to smoke.

 

[DisMN]

If the person has a physician's diagnosis and is non-compliant with treatment that is a different matter altogether.

Depression, due to an illness or disease needs to be ruled out. The person's ability to truly understand the disease, the disease process, the treatment and the consequences of non-compliance has to be addressed as well.

All well and easy to designate someone a malingerer, but generally speaking there are more often, medical issues which need to be fully and accurately addressed.

You hit the nail on the head. This person is.......oh how shall I say it nicely? NOT the brightest bulb in the bunch so I'm sure the consequences are not understood whatsoever. I do think depression is an underlying problem as well. It's just so darn hard to be sympathetic with someone like this.

 

[rentayenta]

My mother. And it's called a personality disorder. She thrives on being mentally ill.

 

[DisMN]

My mother. And it's called a personality disorder. She thrives on being mentally ill.

Oh how awful for you. There must be a payoff for someone like this or they wouldn't be this way.......or would they?

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

My mother. And it's called a personality disorder. She thrives on being mentally ill.

I know someone like this, plus with physical issues that didn't have to happen/can be helped if they'd DO something about them. No names.

 

[Barb D]

I was just forced to go back on disability after trying very hard to get back to work. It is not fun. And I am trying to get better.

And if you happen to see me on a good day out shopping with my kids or whatever, kindly don't accuse me of faking it.

Have a nice day.

 

[themarquis]

sorry, double post

 

[themarquis]

No, I don't think it's munchausen because this person really DOES have an inherited disease but they have no desire to keep it at bay...... doing everything in their power to hasten the disease. But maybe the munchausen comes into play when they seem to actually want the disability part of it? I don't know.

It's gonna be sooooo hard not to say "I told you so" when an oxygen tank becomes necessary due to the self inflicted hastening of the disease. I suppose it's just like a lung cancer patient continuing to smoke.

No, that's not Munchausen. With Munchausen, a person is deliberately causing physical problems (like eating non-food items, taking poison) or claiming to have specific physical symptoms that they don't have.

BUT ... a person who is just not taking care of themselves when they do have a real illness or who is doing things that are against doctor's orders either because they don't care or because they like the attention of being ill does probably have something going on psychologically that should be dealt with via psychiatric treatment (therapy, possibly medication, etc.)

I guess the big question for YOU is ... do you blame the person for all their problems (physical AND psychiatric) to the point where you are completely unsympathetic and have negative feelings toward them. Or ... could you find it in your heart to be empathetic that they have a psyciatric illness that is worsening their physical illness?

Obviously, we all have our limits re: dealing with a person like that and having them make demands of us, etc. But ... it might be possible for you to have some empathy and care for this person if you remind yourself that there is some component of psychiatric illness going on.

 

[DisMN]

No, that's not Munchausen. With Munchausen, a person is deliberately causing physical problems (like eating non-food items, taking poison) or claiming to have specific physical symptoms that they don't have.

BUT ... a person who is just not taking care of themselves when they do have a real illness or who is doing things that are against doctor's orders either because they don't care or because they like the attention of being ill does probably have something going on psychologically that should be dealt with via psychiatric treatment (therapy, possibly medication, etc.)

I guess the big question for YOU is ... do you blame the person for all their problems (physical AND psychiatric) to the point where you are completely unsympathetic and have negative feelings toward them. Or ... could you find it in your heart to be empathetic that they have a psyciatric illness that is worsening their physical illness?

Obviously, we all have our limits re: dealing with a person like that and having them make demands of us, etc. But ... it might be possible for you to have some empathy and care for this person if you remind yourself that there is some component of psychiatric illness going on.

Wow, EXCELLENT points, thank you! You're right, it is likely a psychiatric illness that's probably at the heart of what's going on. Knowing that actually does make it easier to have some empathy/sympathy for this person.......and liking the person helps as well.

Thank you all...I appreciate the feedback from everyone!

 

[Loverly]

I know two that ignored their diabetes (for a long time), also.


One lost a foot and is on disablility , another lost a toe & cant feel either feet, both have sight problems.

 

[eddad]

This is a tough one. Lots of experience with disability here.
DW Jenny has AIDS and has had it for 18 years. At diagnosis she was told she would be dead in 2 years. She applied for disability and was turned down initially. It's hard to get disability from SSDI even when you are really sick..She did get approved the second time. She's done well and surpassed expectations..You might see her do somethin like mow the lawn on a good day. You won't see her on the bad ones, like the ones when she had mini-strokes or congestive heart failure.
Lots of people ,like her, diagnosed with AIDS get depressed. They think they are going to die, so the may as well go out the way they want. There are a lot of PWA's with clinical depression. It's not easy to deal with chronic illness.
Now take me. I got very sick 2 years ago. I had emergency open heart surgery, spent 2 months in the hospital and almost lost my leg. I was not just depressed but angry and in denial that my life had to change. Jenny constantly warned me that I was hurting myself, pushing to hard, pushing my leg and possibly damaging it. People don't always react the way you think they should when they are sick. There can be many causes, denial, anger, fear etc. I doubt anyone really wants to be sick and/or disabled. They just may not know how to deal with it. Disability and illness are not just about the physical, but the mental as well

 

[HOGFAN]

lets see... my boss's husband.

clue #1. when he was working in the ministerial field, he would have to leave work during the day to take a nap.

he has/had some dietary problems. His dr told him to stay away from fatty foods. yeah right, he would eat something he shouldnt and would miss work for 3 days. every week. He applied for disability for this problem, smart people , they turned him down.

he finally did develop a real problem and got approved for disability. he is as happy as a pig in mud. doesnt have to work and uses up your tax dollars doing it.

In the meantime, they dont have 2 nickels to rub together. He doesnt seem to care. what a loser.