Pulling first grader out of school - twice - want opinions.

[NYCgrrl]

I've never pulled children in my care out of school for any type of vacation just like I never lied and called in sick/claimed somebody in the family died to extend a vacation or weekend.
Just strikes me as wrong on too many levels.

This stance ruffles the feathers of some who do it but since it's your generations and they aren't related to me, doesn't phase me much anymore.

 

[cadien]

I've never pulled children in my care out of school for any type of vacation just like I never lied and called in sick/claimed somebody in the family died to extend a vacation or weekend.
Just strikes me as wrong on too many levels.

Only one of those is dishonest.

Are you assuming that doing one means you'd blithely do the other?

 

[ShayBells]

I pulled my kid out for four days last year in September. 3rd grade. Despite the handbook discouraging it. I found out his classmates seemed to be constantly taken out to do trips so. That made me feel better and the teacher was all excited we were going to Disney.

The problem. Bad flu season. By the end of the year I was cringing as we pushed over 10 days (the limit)

I don’t see a problem taking him out twice but beware if it’s a bad flu season and you hit some school limit before your second vacation. You might have to talk to the school closer to the second one and see if it’s still okay even if they approve it at the beginning.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Only one of those is dishonest.

Are you assuming that doing one means you'd blithely do the other?

Which of the 3 do you think is dishonest? And no they are all three comparable from a moral POV IMO but doesn't mean an individual would commit all.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

Thanks for responses.

My school's policy doesn't seem cut and dry for what I read. I was hoping for something like you mentioned "you have X unexcused absences allowed" -- it just says they start sending "notices" after 3, 6 and 10 "unlawful" absences that "could" include legal action like prosecution and involvement of social services (And yes, they use the word "unlawful" not "unexcused").

But my guess is that action is used for parents that aren't taking any effort getting their kid to school -- especially older kids .. not parents that just pull them to go on a family vacation.

I would get a clear understanding of your kids school rules first. It seems it’s not clear to you. Perhaps you can speak to someone at the school? I know that if I took my daughter out of school even for one day & told them it was for vacation, it would be considered an unexcused.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

We take our kids out and they both are at the top of their class. They constentley get awards, (just not perfect attendance awards lol) but I feel family time is very important. We take them out for 7 days and they can have 10 unexcused absences so if they do get sick they are still covered.

 

[Tink_83]

I've never pulled children in my care out of school for any type of vacation just like I never lied and called in sick/claimed somebody in the family died to extend a vacation or weekend.
Just strikes me as wrong on too many levels.

This stance ruffles the feathers of some who do it but since it's your generations and they aren't related to me, doesn't phase me much anymore.

Wow, calling in sick or claiming someone died to take sick leave is wrong, and typically a fire-able offense. So the actual correlation to this circumstance would be if they were planning to have a doctor falsify a note stating that the child was sick, or was going to forge the doctor's note, so that they could take the vacation. The X number of unexcused absences is really like adult vacation time that we spend... When looked at like that so long as they are being honest about why they are pulling the kids out and discuss it with the administrators and the teacher it shouldn't' be an issue.

As for the actual question, as a child and teenager I was pulled out of school for at least a week in the fall and spring. I can remember complaining about the time off and how that would impact me (when in high school). I still managed to graduate with honors, went to college, graduated there with honors, and am a successful cyber security professional. So no long lasting harm done. Also, it sort of prepared me for all of the work I end up having to do on vacation as an adult (because I certainly can't not respond to emails or get out of all of my conference calls, even while on vacation). As such you could look at it like building good work/life balance skills that will be needed when he is an adult. Regardless, it's not like it's twice in the same quarter, trimester, or semester (no matter how you look at it the vacations should occur outside of those standard time-frames) as such it shouldn't be that big of a deal, especially for a first grader. Just make him do the work that they send home, and stress the importance of always doing your work, whether you are on vacation or at school.

 

[smiths02]

I've never pulled children in my care out of school for any type of vacation just like I never lied and called in sick/claimed somebody in the family died to extend a vacation or weekend.
Just strikes me as wrong on too many levels.

This stance ruffles the feathers of some who do it but since it's your generations and they aren't related to me, doesn't phase me much anymore.

I have not pulled my kids for a vacation.

I have pulled for one day for the eclipse (they got to watch a total eclipse from grandparents' back porch---that won't happen again in their lifetime. That was more educational than being at school where they were talking about the eclipse and only getting to see a partial eclipse (grandparents are 3 hour drive). I didn't lie. I wrote a note that said why they were absent. I know it was unexcused. I could not schedule it on a school break.

Pulling kids from school is NOT the same as lying. I understand if you consider it not doing your duty or shirking work ethic, but I wouldn't consider it on the same level as lying. I also understand that some things are once in a lifetime events.

 

[Dis703]

Which of the 3 do you think is dishonest? And no they are all three comparable from a moral POV IMO but doesn't mean an individual would commit all.

How is taking a vacation morally equivalent to lying? When you are an adult and working you get vacation days to use. Not much different with kids. There are usually a certain amount of allowable absences. What you use them for is your discretion as a parent. Some districts are stricter than others, but vacations are rarely forbidden.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

It is your kid, not the school's. I do not understand why parents let the schools dictate when they can and cannot have their children. As long as they are making satisfactory academic progress, and you aren't making demands of the teacher for extra work and tutoring, then the school shouldn't get any say in it.

 

[cadien]

It is your kid, not the school's. I do not understand why parents let the schools dictate when they can and cannot have their children. As long as they are making satisfactory academic progress, and you aren't making demands of the teacher for extra work and tutoring, then the school shouldn't get any say in it.

Well there are truancy laws. And there's a good reason for them. But one week twice a year isn't going to get into that zone.

 

[tlmadden73]

Thank you for the responses. We can drop it here before this spirals out of control with the "should you or shouldn't you" debate.

Based on the overwhelming response of "I've done it with no issues with younger elementary-aged children" I plan on going through with it ... though the March 2019 trip will be flexible if things change - such as - my son is struggling, school testing is done that week, the school's policy is a bit more "firm" than I am interpreting, etc. We aren't flying, so I can cancel if need be (though my sister will be disappointed).

The fact of the matter is:
1) I care about my child's education - and I plan to make sure the school understands that.
2) I will do everything I can to limit the days off (to may be 4 days each trip) .. having more than a week, I feel, would be missing too much.
3) It's MY child, not the school's.
4) We value family time, and despite what value others (not on these boards) may put on a "Disney" vacation -- this is a huge part of that.

As much as I would prefer my son to be in a year-round schedule, where we can take several week long breaks throughout the year, he is not, So I am going to take him out of school (especially in these early years while I can) when it is convenient for the family (from a time and cost perspective - or in my case .. to be able to meet OTHER family). I am just a huge proponent of "go where the people aren't" .. so I don't like going on vacation when everyone else in the country is (aka - Summer, after Christmas, before Easter). (Though, admittingly, that is harder to do at WDW. .. heh)

I will make sure I will explain to my son that we are taking a planned family vacation .. just like daddy can take some time off of work, we are taking some time off of school and this is not "skipping" school. I want to instill in him it is important to go to school and you can't just not go because you don't "feel" like it.

Now time to look at booking a resort reservation for March!

 

[Donna M]

As a retired teacher my concern is with the children that are struggling. They can't afford to miss any time, even when they are sick for a couple of days they lose ground. If you can have your child read every day and review math facts things should be ok. Another concern is the type of school your child attends. Be aware that what your child misses that week most likely will not be able to be made up. The teacher will not be able to cover all the science and Social Studies that was taught, and new math and reading skills could be missed. Years ago it was easy to just assign workbook pages, not the same today.

You know your child best, some kids sail through a week missed without any problems, others have a very hard time trying to catch up.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Well there are truancy laws. And there's a good reason for them. But one week twice a year isn't going to get into that zone.

It is interesting that, around here at least, the private and hybrid schools we spoke to do not care if you miss for a family trip or whatnot, but the public schools get up in arms about it (because they get paid based on average daily attendance). And homeschoolers have zero accountability here beyond sending a letter of intent and making sure you get in 180 days of school per year. But they can't let a public school family have a say over when they get their own kids. It isn't right or fair. These threads make me very glad that we don't have to deal with that.

 

[verleniahall]

It depends on what your school rules and regulations are

Our school disctrict counts vacation during the school year as an unexcused absence - and after 5 days consecutive the truancy officer is called in - it doesn't matter what grade your child is in

I would go over your school handbook, plus talk with his teacher, your princapal and your superintendant - you will get a better answer from them than here in the dis - we aren't in your school district and all of them are so different

 

[verleniahall]

Well there are truancy laws. And there's a good reason for them. But one week twice a year isn't going to get into that zone.

Our school district its 5 days consecutive and they call the truancy officer - so pretty much 1 school week

 

[Happyinwonerland]

As a retired teacher my concern is with the children that are struggling. They can't afford to miss any time, even when they are sick for a couple of days they lose ground. If you can have your child read every day and review math facts things should be ok. Another concern is the type of school your child attends. Be aware that what your child misses that week most likely will not be able to be made up. The teacher will not be able to cover all the science and Social Studies that was taught, and new math and reading skills could be missed. Years ago it was easy to just assign workbook pages, not the same today.

You know your child best, some kids sail through a week missed without any problems, others have a very hard time trying to catch up.

A child who isn't struggling should be able to catch up easily, as long as the parent knows what pages will be covered while they are out. 1 on 1 teaching goes much faster than classroom teaching, so the parents could help their child with the lessons even while on vacation. We're talking first grade, not astro physics.

 

[cadien]

Sadly our first grader didn't do any science and social studies. Thanks to those tests, it's just reading and math. And writing. I guess that's not the same as reading. I have no idea at what grade they'll finally branch out.

 

[Sleepy425]

We have pulled my kids out for a week each year (oldest is heading into third grade). We always just let the teacher know that we expect nothing from them - they can handle the absence as they please (in other words - I'm not asking them to prepare work for my child to take with us, because that's putting the teacher in a position of having to get things done early just for my kid. We let them know that however they want to handle the make up work is fine with us). We haven't had a teacher give us any issue.
We have, for our foster son (who didn't go on the trips with us, only because he wasn't living with us during the times we went) gotten the "if you miss any more school we will report you to DCF" letter. That made us laugh, since his absences were all from DCF forgetting to pick him up for school. After getting that, I have learned not to take that letter very seriously!
In first grade I would pull him out twice for trips. Around here you get 16 absences total - he doesn't have medical issues that would cause him to be out much, does he? (my asthmatics are starting kindergarten Monday, so I'm going to have to be more careful with them about how much I pull them out of school so they have enough days left to be sick).

 

[Sleepy425]

Sadly our first grader didn't do any science and social studies. Thanks to those tests, it's just reading and math. And writing. I guess that's not the same as reading. I have no idea at what grade they'll finally branch out.

Glad to hear ours isn't the only school eliminating science in the younger grades! I've taken to having the kids watch fun YouTube videos just to teach them the basic science things we used to learn (photosynthesis was the video of choice a couple nights ago).