Parents - PLEASE be reasonable!

[meandtheguys2]

I try to think of doing Disney with kids as a game of Russian Roulette. Every time I see someone else's child melting down I smile- because we're all human, and because I'm happy it wasn't my turn for the bullet.

Perfectly said!!!!

 

[justhat]

I don't think anyone can say that people who can't handle multiple kids shouldn't have them. How would you ever know what you can handle before they come? Let's say you have 1 child 1st, and he/she is a super easy baby/toddler/child. So you think, "This is great, I can't wait to have number 2!" And then he or she comes and is totally different-a wild, tantrum prone, hard to control child. Or maybe she starts out as a colicky baby, so your previously well behaved 1st child doesn't get the attention he/she needs and starts having tantrums. Or hey, maybe baby 2 is perfect like the 1st, so you have #3 and that one turns out to be impossible.

Or let's say you've been very blessed and instead of starting off with one baby you start out with twins or triplets. They might all be wonderful, well-behaved children, but inevitably there are going to be meltdown times. I think this is a fact of life with 1 child, but when you add another 1, 2 or 3 to the mix the probability of a meltdown greatly increases (my opinion since right now I still just have 1). Aside from the fact that there are more of them so that in itself increases tantrum probability, you can't give them the attention you can give 1 child, nor can you cater specifically to their needs/wants like you can with just 1 child.

You can never predict any child's personality before their born, nor can you control how many children you're blessed with either at once or over time, so to say you are only having as many kids as you can control is an impossible statement. We plan to have 3 more kids and hopefully we'll be able to control our 4, but till they are all here I can't really make that statement.

 

[mjkaferle5]

I once had a person tell me that they couldn't wait until their two children (infant and toddler) were a little older so "they could get their life back!!"

All I could think is this NOW IS your life so accept it.

We have 4 children now. We do not feel outnumbered. You adapt to your situation. If we only had 2 kids now it would probably feel too easy.

 

[WDWfor5]

Okay... I'm putting on my flame suit. And I'm ready but really don't mean any harm. But if you can't control multiple children... you shouldn't have them. That is a poor excuse for having children run amock...

This is so amusing. As a mother of 3 young ones (DD 6, DS 4, DS 2 1/2) I am constantly amazed by people who act as if the norm is one child. When my youngest was born, I had 3 children 4 and under. They almost always behave in public because I expect them to, but on the odd days when they were just out of sorts it was logisitically difficult to get them out of anywhere fast. Even when they were all perfectly behaved I got looks of pity and some extremely rude comments about how close in age they were. Since I would never comment that I "felt bad for someone who had only one child" I can't imagine why other's choose to comment on my children.

that said, I took my 3 to Hawaii last year (5,3,21 mos) and their behavior was amazing. On a 14 hour plane ride they never made a peep. They played, ate their one million snacks, we took occasional walks down the aisle and they were happy. Someone actually asked me if they were drugged Why is it so hard to beleive I am capable of raising 3 children? Just because some people can't doesn't mean that's the norm. Most of us can handle what we are given - whether that be number of children, special needs, temperment, etc.

It's beyond judgmental to assume that the reason one of my children is having a bad day or moment is because I can't handle having three. It might be that I don't let my children run the world and that means that sometimes I have to say NO. And if you see us in WDW in January and one of mine is acting up, all I ask is that you assume I know what my children need and if you can't smile than just look away. I don't smack them, I'm never mean to them, I follow their lead on naps and food and I respect that children are people - sometimes we all get a little overwhelmed.

Jennifer, 110 days until WDW

 

[RADOPT]

Parents - PLEASE - do what we did. Get to the park early. Heck, my son wakes up at 7am which leaves plenty of time to get there for the opening. Go on some rides. But mid-day, when the heat and noise is taking it's toll, GO BACK TO YOUR HOTEL TO HAVE A SWIM AND NAP!!!!

My girls (both special needs) get up at 6am everyday and go all day long. They both need to be busy ALL DAY. We could never swim and nap while at WDW, well maybe swim late at night. Their behavior would take a plunge. I do what works for my girls. If they have a melt down (I can not predict all but can keep it down as much as possible), sorry but I tried - they are usually very good and there is only one of me. Your lucky you get a break.

I have seen this seldom. What I find more of an issue is not the meltdowns but rude people - usually adults. Especially those who make personal comments or stare at my children.

 

[Nancyg56]

This is so amusing. As a mother of 3 young ones (DD 6, DS 4, DS 2 1/2) I am constantly amazed by people who act as if the norm is one child. When my youngest was born, I had 3 children 4 and under. They almost always behave in public because I expect them to, but on the odd days when they were just out of sorts it was logisitically difficult to get them out of anywhere fast. Even when they were all perfectly behaved I got looks of pity and some extremely rude comments about how close in age they were. Since I would never comment that I "felt bad for someone who had only one child" I can't imagine why other's choose to comment on my children.

that said, I took my 3 to Hawaii last year (5,3,21 mos) and their behavior was amazing. On a 14 hour plane ride they never made a peep. They played, ate their one million snacks, we took occasional walks down the aisle and they were happy. Someone actually asked me if they were drugged Why is it so hard to beleive I am capable of raising 3 children? Just because some people can't doesn't mean that's the norm. Most of us can handle what we are given - whether that be number of children, special needs, temperment, etc.

It's beyond judgmental to assume that the reason one of my children is having a bad day or moment is because I can't handle having three. It might be that I don't let my children run the world and that means that sometimes I have to say NO. And if you see us in WDW in January and one of mine is acting up, all I ask is that you assume I know what my children need and if you can't smile than just look away. I don't smack them, I'm never mean to them, I follow their lead on naps and food and I respect that children are people - sometimes we all get a little overwhelmed.

Jennifer, 110 days until WDW

Well said!

 

[frayedend]

Skimming through this thread has proven to me that a lot of people seem to think that kids that have melt downs, or tantrums, or whatever, are either special needs and should be given sympathy, or the parents don't know how to parent. I am sure these people could not understand what it is like to raise a child like my 2 boys. There are labels for them, "high needs baby", "strong willed child" etc. I've read all the books, tried 1,2,3 magic, and all sorts of other ideas. My kids just laugh it off. They don't care about timeouts and most times, no matter how much fun something is, or how much they get, it isn't enough. If it's time to leave a fun event, there will be a screaming, whining fit. I will never look at anyone with a dirty look because of their childs behavior. You can't always blame it on the parents.

Luckily for me, my kids seem to need constant stimulation. We have our best luck when they have to go all day. So being in a park from morning until the end of the day will help them use their energy and they are usually quite good kids when they have that constant stimulation and attention. For us it is more a problem at home, when we need to be doing adult things and can't give the kids undivided attention 100% of the time. In light of this, perhaps someone could answer a question. Is it possible for one parent to wait in line while the other keeps the kids busy "near" the line? The only problems I foresee is if my kids have to wait in line for a long time.

Thanks

 

[taximomfor4]

Skimming through this thread has proven to me that a lot of people seem to think that kids that have melt downs, or tantrums, or whatever, are either special needs and should be given sympathy, or the parents don't know how to parent. I am sure these people could not understand what it is like to raise a child like my 2 boys. There are labels for them, "high needs baby", "strong willed child" etc. I've read all the books, tried 1,2,3 magic, and all sorts of other ideas. My kids just laugh it off. They don't care about timeouts and most times, no matter how much fun something is, or how much they get, it isn't enough. If it's time to leave a fun event, there will be a screaming, whining fit. I will never look at anyone with a dirty look because of their childs behavior. You can't always blame it on the parents.

Luckily for me, my kids seem to need constant stimulation. We have our best luck when they have to go all day. So being in a park from morning until the end of the day will help them use their energy and they are usually quite good kids when they have that constant stimulation and attention. For us it is more a problem at home, when we need to be doing adult things and can't give the kids undivided attention 100% of the time. In light of this, perhaps someone could answer a question. Is it possible for one parent to wait in line while the other keeps the kids busy "near" the line? The only problems I foresee is if my kids have to wait in line for a long time.

Thanks

Some lines, you might be able to do that. But I would simply plan on getting to the parks early, and use fastpass! Some lines, catching back up would be impossible, other lines it would just be difficult. If you can, do the MUST-DO rides right at park opening. Then, you can do the other stuff later, wherever the lines are not so bad.

I really do feel for you. My oldest dd is "High needs" aka "Spirited"... she screamed all day every single day from birth, sleeping VERY little. She is very keenly intelligent (finished 7th grade at 11 yrs old) but she had full-out screaming, thrashing-on-the-ground fits at WDW when she was EIGHT YEARS old. We ended up only spending, in 5 days, only 2 TOTAL hours in MK...it just, for whatever reason, set her off. I have tried it all, have even sought help from 3 different child psychologists. Either no punishments phase her, or else she is a great actress. Anyway, my best advice (not related to touring the parks) is to try reading "The Out of Sync Child." Perhaps it will fit your kids, perhaps not. But it is worth a try!

Beth

 

[frayedend]

I will check out the book you mention. I certainly can relate to the " My oldest dd is "High needs" aka "Spirited"... she screamed all day every single day from birth, sleeping VERY little."

I'm sure we'll be okay in Disney and we will get in early and use fast pass. We are going in January, so it shouldn't be as busy as usual. My oldest son, who will be 5 in November, is getting to be a bit better. But I am sure there will be some unavoidable tantrums. I just want the other posters to realize that not all kids that have meltdowns have incompetent parents. As a matter of fact my wife has done childcare out of the home for over 15 years and helped raise over 100 kids in daycare. It bothers to no end that she never had a problem controlling any kids except her own.

Thanks a lot

 

[Smydovro]

We just returned from a wonderful trip to Disney. We have 3 children all boys and we had a few meltdowns and tantrums including my husband and myself Disney is an overwhelming environment, it's hot, it's crowded, it's overstimulating. One evening we were coming home from (gasp) emh at epcot when it began to pour and it woke up my peacefully sleeping 1 yr old. He cried all the way back to the hotel. The nicest people were on that bus. The bus started leaking right over our heads and a man that was standing put his hand there and caught the water so it wouldn't fall on my baby! Thank goodness that wasn't the OP, he would've just stood there and judged our parenting. I always try and give a reassuring smile to someone whose child is having a hard time.

 

[Tigger2252]

My name is marathonmommy
I am a WOHM
I drive an SUV
I love McDonald's

BUT, I am a DAMN GOOD MOM!
Can I get an AMEN?

AMEN!!

 

[!@#$%]

Originally Posted by marathonmommy
My name is marathonmommy
I am a WOHM
I drive an SUV
I love McDonald's

BUT, I am a DAMN GOOD MOM!
Can I get an AMEN?

marathonmommy you show your true colors. HYPOCRITE! There are 2 words in those last 2 sentences that dont go together. Da#m & amen. Im amazed this thread is still alive, I guess anger and hatred keep it alive, and theres plenty of that out there to fuel it. Pitiful, just pitiful. Noone wants to let it die. You all just keep brewing your stew.
Im going to unsubscribe to this one. Shouldve long ago. If you people want to seeth in your anger so be it. I wont participate anymore. This was the last thread I participated in before I stopped posting here; this is EXACTLY why. This isnt about fun at WDW, or tips, or ideas, its about everyone wanting to put others down. If thats why this DIS board is here, I'll go elsewhere. Go ahead flame me. I'll never know it. Im changing the email address associated with this as well. Signing off DIS. Some of it was fun. This thread wasnt.

 

[lucincia]

Originally Posted by marathonmommy
My name is marathonmommy
I am a WOHM
I drive an SUV
I love McDonald's

BUT, I am a DAMN GOOD MOM!
Can I get an AMEN?

marathonmommy you show your true colors. HYPOCRITE! There are 2 words in those last 2 sentences that dont go together. Da#m & amen. Im amazed this thread is still alive, I guess anger and hatred keep it alive, and theres plenty of that out there to fuel it. Pitiful, just pitiful. Noone wants to let it die. You all just keep brewing your stew.
Im going to unsubscribe to this one. Shouldve long ago. If you people want to seeth in your anger so be it. I wont participate anymore. This was the last thread I participated in before I stopped posting here; this is EXACTLY why. This isnt about fun at WDW, or tips, or ideas, its about everyone wanting to put others down. If thats why this DIS board is here, I'll go elsewhere. Go ahead flame me. I'll never know it. Im changing the email address associated with this as well. Signing off DIS. Some of it was fun. This thread wasnt.

Who stopped their Valium prescription?

 

[3DisneyKids]

Originally Posted by marathonmommy
My name is marathonmommy
I am a WOHM
I drive an SUV
I love McDonald's

BUT, I am a DAMN GOOD MOM!
Can I get an AMEN?

marathonmommy you show your true colors. HYPOCRITE! There are 2 words in those last 2 sentences that dont go together. Da#m & amen. Im amazed this thread is still alive, I guess anger and hatred keep it alive, and theres plenty of that out there to fuel it. Pitiful, just pitiful. Noone wants to let it die. You all just keep brewing your stew.
Im going to unsubscribe to this one. Shouldve long ago. If you people want to seeth in your anger so be it. I wont participate anymore. This was the last thread I participated in before I stopped posting here; this is EXACTLY why. This isnt about fun at WDW, or tips, or ideas, its about everyone wanting to put others down. If thats why this DIS board is here, I'll go elsewhere. Go ahead flame me. I'll never know it. Im changing the email address associated with this as well. Signing off DIS. Some of it was fun. This thread wasnt.

From what I can tell, the only one expressing anger and hatred is you, sorry to say. I have so much to say about the hypocrisy of YOUR post (this and others), but frankly, you are not worth the time nor the energy. I hope you can find peace in your life and let go of your anger.

 

[justhat]

Frayedend and Taximom, I too have a high need child, though I have to say as she's getting older she's becoming less 'needy'. Someone here on the DIS recommended that I get "The Fussy Baby Book" by Dr. Sears and it described my daughter to a tee. Made those early days sooooo much easier knowing she wasn't the only one out there and reading some strategies to cope. We survived the 1st 4 months by holding her literally every minute from the time she woke up in the morning till she went to sleep at night (thank gosh she was a good night sleeper then, after an hour long crying fit that is-of course, the good sleeping ended around 4.5 months...). Luckily now, at 19 months, she doesn't cry all day, and she's not too bad with the tantrums, though there's pretty much a guarantee of at least 1/day. Most of them seem to be related to her tiny vocab and getting very frustrated that we don't know what she wants, so I'm hoping that they die down soon too. Of course, we still have the sleep issues. So I too realize when I see other kids crying that it is not all about parenting ability.

 

[steery1]

Just got back from a week at POP Century. I will post some info re: dining and hotel on the trip reports board, but thought I would stop here first because this is fresh on my mind!!!!

PLEASE NO FLAMES

My biggest impression with families at WDW (and I have a son, aged 5) is that the parents are there for themselves and NOT the children. What I mean is, I met so many families with EXHAUSTED kids that were foul, screeming brats. When I asked them (politely) what they had been doing, I got the same general responses: up at 6am, quick breakfast in the room, dressed and out the door to get to X park for Early Magic Hours, or Character Breakfast; then agenda to do ALL the rides in the parks, eat quick meals so as not to miss specific shows, go ALL DAY in the heat, humidity, noise, and stimulation, eat dinner in a nice restaurant (with a child / children who have not napped or had any of their "own" time), go back to the park for more stimulation, sugared snacks, and noise, as well as heat, watch fireworks that are on much later than these kids' normal bedtimes, then stand in large crowds waiting for busses to take them back to the hotel, where some parents then let them swim at 11pm or feed them yet another high-calorie, low nutritional meal, and ALL THE TIME WONDER - WHY IS MY KID SO ILL-MANNERED?!!! WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE GIVING ME / MY FAMILY DIRTY LOOKS?

I was so sick of screaming kids by the end of this week I was looking forward to leaving WDW.

Parents - PLEASE - do what we did. Get to the park early. Heck, my son wakes up at 7am which leaves plenty of time to get there for the opening. Go on some rides. But mid-day, when the heat and noise is taking it's toll, GO BACK TO YOUR HOTEL TO HAVE A SWIM AND NAP!!!!

You are spending so much money to be there, and so is everyone else, why wreck it by having your kids so upset? Trust me - it's not fun for the kids if all they want to do is have some down time while you are insisting on dressing the little princesses up (villains would be the appropriate attire in my opinion for the parents!) just so you, as a parent, can relive some mis-translated memory of your own childhood.

We saw 4 parks in 6 days. Went on many rides more than once. Fireworks ONE night (son had a 2 hour nap - had not napped for past 2 years but in the heat it was a welcome thing!) and we had a great time. CM's commented at restaurants how well-behaved.

Just some food for thought.

I totally agree with your comments BUT - Where's your office?

 

[DisneyPhD]

I am also unsubscribing this thread. I think it has run the corse and never should of gotten this long.

I think many people had interesting comments, the most important is different things work for different people.

It is time for this one to end. Lets move on.

 

[bwv4me]

Originally Posted by marathonmommy
My name is marathonmommy
I am a WOHM
I drive an SUV
I love McDonald's

BUT, I am a DAMN GOOD MOM!
Can I get an AMEN?

marathonmommy you show your true colors. HYPOCRITE! There are 2 words in those last 2 sentences that dont go together. Da#m & amen. Im amazed this thread is still alive, I guess anger and hatred keep it alive, and theres plenty of that out there to fuel it. Pitiful, just pitiful. Noone wants to let it die. You all just keep brewing your stew.
Im going to unsubscribe to this one. Shouldve long ago. If you people want to seeth in your anger so be it. I wont participate anymore. This was the last thread I participated in before I stopped posting here; this is EXACTLY why. This isnt about fun at WDW, or tips, or ideas, its about everyone wanting to put others down. If thats why this DIS board is here, I'll go elsewhere. Go ahead flame me. I'll never know it. Im changing the email address associated with this as well. Signing off DIS. Some of it was fun. This thread wasnt.

You've got to be kidding . . . The poster was joking in response to earlier posts. You, on the other hand, seem a bit unbalanced. Good thing you unsubscribed. Yours is the kind of post that the DIS does not need. Farewell and good riddens!

 

[crisi]

Posts someone with a swear word for a user name....pot...kettle...black.

 

[lntsmom]

When my older son was 4 I took him to DisneyWorld. Had you eaten dinner at the Crystal Pavillion the same time we did, I'm sure you would have decided I'm a horrible mother who was selfishly pushing my child.

As it was, we had just gotten to the park after a 2 hour break. My son was well rested and refreshed...and hungry. Still, he cried the entire time we were there.

Since we'd already had breakfast with Donald and friends the previous day and had met Buzz and Woody, I never thought about the characters.

When we left, he quit crying and was his happy self. I was frustrated and asked what was going on. His answer: "Mom, all of the other characters are just costumes, but, Pooh is real!!!"

While I would agree that taking a break and letting your kids take the lead is the way to go, I wouldn't begin to try to guess why any kid is throwing a fit at any given minute. They're kids...they do those things.