Parents-only trip...guilt!?!?

[lindaso]

DH and I are seriously considering a long weekend away for our 9th anniversary in October. His parents have agreed to watch our kids. In October, our kids will be 7, 4 1/2 & 2. We've never done more than 1 night away.

We've been talking about going to Vegas for this trip. We've never been and we've always wanted to go. BUT...now that we're planning another WDW trip for April of 2005, I'm thinking we should do a couple-only trip to the World for October. Our last 2 trips down, I dreamed about us going on whatever rides we wanted, eating quiet meals, going to DTD, etc...just having some freedom in WDW!! It's always such a compromise. We even brought his parents last trip but we didn't get one night alone!!! FIL got sick and then 2 of my kids got sick so it just didn't happen. I spent part of my anniversary night watching fireworks on the Poly beach ALONE...DH in the room watching baseball with a pukey kid, his parents enjoying the fireworks on Main Street...ugh!!!

Anyway, he won't even consider going to WDW without the kids. Says he'd feel too guilty.

So...for those that have done it, do you feel guilt the entire time? Do your kids get over it? I mean, we are taking them back next April. Or should we go to Vegas and enjoy something new? Any and all feedback appreciated!!

 

[zakatak]

Hi Linda!

My dh & I were just in the same boat last weekend, deciding where to go for a 4 night 15th Anniversary trip. We finally decided on WDW soley because of the reasons you listed: things we could finally do together (ride the bigger rides without baby swapping, nice dinners, sleeping in, hot tubs, PI, etc...). What we did was ASK the kids! It was bold, I admit, but... it went like this:

Us: "Kids (8, 5, 3), we would like to take a short trip by ourselves to celebrate our 15 years of marriage. Would that be ok with you?"

Kids: "NOOOOOO!!!! Well, ok, I guess. Where?"

Us: "We were thinking of Disney."

Kids: "Ummm... NO!"

Us: "Why not? We are all going as a family in November for 9 days! Daddy and I just want to do some adult things we can't do when we are all together, like long dinners (kids roll eyes), sleeping in (kids gasp), and we won't ride any of the fun rides. We want to get the adult stuff over with before the Christmas Trip".

Kids: "Well, since you are doing boring stuff, and we are going back, then ok. Will you bring us back stuff?"

Us: "Of Course!"

And there went any guilt. Plus, I want to experience Disney being a "couple" not "Mom & Dad" all the time. In my opinion, 4 nights is the most I can handle away from the kids, so this will be perfect.

I say go for it! The kids will be going down in April and you will not miss them as much as you think, especially if you do the things that you CAN'T do with them, like long, fancy dinners, sleeping in, staying out late. Avoid Fantasyland like the plaque and you should be ok!

Karen

 

[DeDixie]

Our situation is a little different as our kids are older. DD13 & DD11 are being extremely supportive of our upcoming adults only trip. They will have been there in Aug ( we are going in Sept) and then again in Feb.

OP, you kids might be a little young for this, but I think it's important for a family to be happy/supportive of each other. My DD13 and I went alone in Oct for 4 nights. We told the then DD10 first, and we let her tell her sister that she was getting special 13th birthday trip with just Mom. DD11 knows she will get her turn when she is 13. She never once seemed to be jealous.

The only thing I brought DD11 back was a big lollypop. She understood the trip was expensive and I wanted to spend all the money on the birthday girl.

If you decide to go, have a blast!

 

[sm5199@msn.com]

GO!!!
DH and I went for our 3rd anniversary and left our 14 month old DS at home with my parents. What a great time we had! We didn't feel any guilt, I think because we knew my parents were taking great care of DS, so we just enjoyed ourselves. We just went again in Sept. 2003 and left DS(then 2.5) and DS 6 months with my parents. No guilt! We only went for four nights each trip and by the fourth night we really started to miss the boys.
We are so glad we did this because we returned home refreshed and happy. Now that oldest DS is 3,he says he wants to go visit Mickey. DH's parents said that maybe if he pays for his own airfare he'll get to go!(They think he should have gone on previous 2 trips).
I know there are some who would think we were less than perfect parents for leaving our children at home, but DH and I believe that if we are happy, we'll have a better chance at having happy kids. I don't see anything wrong with jumping off the "merry-go-round" for a few days to refresh ourselves.

 

[luvchoclabs]

My DH and I got a great deal staying at the Dolphin in June for our 15th anniversary for 4 nights. We spent our honeymoon at Disney. We are leaving our 11 yr old DS w/ his Aunt and Uncle. Although he reacted pretty well about us going on the trip, we are still feeling bad about going w/o him. We took him in Jan '03 and plan on taking him again some time next year, he also just went on a Disney Cruise w/ us in Jan this year. I'm just afraid of feeling guilty the whole trip, although I am really looking forward to doing alot of things we can't when he is w/ us. It's hard because the 3 of us do most everything together.

 

[Goofball]

Please go and have fun! I'm so grateful to my parents for going on frequent trips without the three of us, even to places we enjoyed together as a family. Their example of how important it is for the parents to have fun away from the kids has helped all of us to build strong marriages of our own. Go!!

 

[dumbo34]

We just took our first trip to the "World" this past fall, after 22 years of taking the kids. What an experience I must say. There was, of course, some nostaglia, because we stayed at the same place we used to go with the kids (Dixie Landings). I must say though, the whole experience was great. My wife and I went where we wanted, and were able to make last minute plans a lot easier with just two people. We did this again last week for spring break, and had a great time again, just laying by the pool. The kdis didn't mind as they came over for a day or two but wanted to go back home. Of course we live 45 minutes away now, so it was easier. Have fun and relax. You will have great memories with the kids, but also be making your own memories.

 

[keriannhoward]

GO GO GO GO GOOOOOO!!!!!!!


DH and I are going alone next weekend for our anniversary-we actually go alone to Disney and Universal about every other month. It's a totally different experience with just adults, you really can reconnect with each other and have a lot of silly, goofy fun that you just don't do with the kids. You don't HAVE to ride Dumbo or Snow White, you can sleep in and this, to me, is the BEST part-you can ride TOT, Space Mountain, RocknRoller Coaster and Test Track without doing the baby swap!

I say just go do it, your DH will really thank you-trust me.

 

[kild]

I agree, go!


We are going on our 10yr anniversary in a few weeks, just the 2 of us.
The 9 yr old was ok with it when he found out we are taking him later this year.
The 2 yr old really doesn't care what we do as long as he has crayons to eat.

 

[SherGoof]

I do agree - as a couple you need the time away (to actually realize that you still "like" each other ha-ha). Anyway we went to FL for our anniversary last August and the kids stayed with my parents (they were fine, except on the night before we left when we were packing up our stuff - real heart wrenching). This year we had already planned our family trip in August and then won a trip to the Swan. We're doing the Swan the end of the month. This way we'll do all the stuff that we normally wouldn't get to enjoy with the kids. Just walking the resorts is fun for us and laying by the pool with "both" eyes closed!

Enjoy your time, your "family" will benefit from it!

 

[siouxi31]

The first time I did WDW without my kids I cried nearly the whole time. What a waste! It was nearly the same at Disneyland. I was in LA for business so I was totally alone. I was in the park for 2 hours and left because I felt so guilty. After that, I vowed NEVER to feel guilty again. Since those guilt ridden trips, I've had 3 other opportunities to go without the kids and I enjoyed every moment of it. You must be prepared to indulge yourself and enjoy your time as a couple. Have a wonderful trip!

 

[Tinkerbelle739]

I am also struggling with this. We are taking a family trip in Oct/Nov for 10 days and I have just decided to surprise DH with a childfree long weekend at WDW in May. There is so much to do at WDW that there are things we dont do when the kids are with us. This will be a great opportunity for us to see and do those things!!!

Go, and enjoy yourself, I know I will!!

Wishing everyone a "magical" day!

 

[suevee]

Get some APs since you are going later for 9 days. That way it will make the AP's more affordable since you will be using them for 13 days. Also if you should want to squeeze in a little trip later in the year......If you have AP's it doesn't make sense not to go!!!

In June 1986 my husband and I dreamed of seeing the Epcot fireworks alone. This May we get our wish. This is our first trip without kids, grandkids, relatives, or friends. Just the two of us!

 

[SherGoof]

We just returned from our "child-free trip" yesterday! It was really relaxing and alot of fun. We had never been to Pleasure Island before and we had a blast! Something we couldn't have enjoyed with the kids, as it made us feel like we were kids again!

Actually, I'm thinking of trying to plan a girls only trip (we're all in our mid 30's). I know we'd all have a really memorable time!

 

[bmt337]

Our first trip to WDW we did as a couple, the next year we took the kids. The next year we did as a couple, the following year we did with the kids. I felt guilty until I was on my way to the airport in the car. It didn't mean I wasn't thinking of them, it just means that the guilt is easier to get over. The kids were happy to see us home and soon forgot they stayed behind. Enjoy the trip with your husband.

 

[chia92]

My DH and I are going in September and leaving our baby (16 months now) with my parents. We are celebrating our 5 year anniversary. I know I will miss the little guy but parents need time alone too. Don't feel guilty just think how happy you will be when you return.

Happy parents = happy kids at leat in my opinion.

So go and have fun! ! ! !

 

[Chicago526]

My parents did that to me when I was about 11 or 12 I think.

Was I disapointed? Yes. But I got over it.

Besides, I got my revenge. I came down with Chicken Pox while they were gone Mom had to stay home with a very sick child for 3 days after her trip. Not something you want to come home to!

Moral of the story? Go! Have fun! Take your kids in another year or two for an extra long trip with special stuff. Your youngest will at that time be old enough to remember some of it, too!

 

[montessori]

I've enjoyed reading the responses to this post!
They are funny AND true.

We started taking family trips to DW when our daughter was 4.
We were going every 3 months or so.
Before long, we were taking a couple of trips a year without her. She always knew where we were going and we always knew she was back home having a great "parent-free" time.
I used to tear up a bit just as we got on the turnpike but we'd put our favorite cassette tape in and start enjoying ourselves (and each other) before too long!
There is something very special about being at DW alone with your spouse, dare I say...it's MAGICAL!
So now it's 18 years later. Our daughter has turned out to be a wonderful young woman (if I do say so myself) and we are still loving every minute of every DW vacation!

Please go and have the time of your lives! You won't be sorry.