Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[lovin'fl]

Mine moan about the food too. They look like they have lost weight. They are almost 5'9" and not tiny. So they are fine. I was 95 pounds in college myself...5'4". I hated the food in college and we did not have any chain places like Starbucks or Chick Fil A (which my DDs have).

 

[sksjasams]

I have been a reader for a while. I have two sons 32 and 27 so I have been through this. My older son had a rough first year. His girlfriend had broken up with him before he left for college, he had a crappy roommate and was not sleeping (found this out from my mother, he didn't tell us). The topper was his second semester when he kept putting us off about his grades. I finally figured out that I had his password since I paid his bill. I flipped when I saw them. The worst point for me was that he failed calculus and I was teaching AP Calc at the time. We gave him three weeks to explain why he should go back and he never did. We signed him up for the local community college and he thrived. He wanted to get his AA so he spent two years there and then went back to the college he started at. He made Dean's List there all 4 semesters .

He has gotten his Masters and is now teaching labs at the two schools he graduated from.

I know how you are feeling but things work out for a reason. I wish you all peace since you need it. Good luck

Love this. Thank you for sharing!

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I read through your posts and my mailbox with tissues. Thanks for asking how she is, and how I am.
She basically said "I'm coming home. You can go get the rest of my stuff or not, I'm not going back."
I've emailed the housing office and registrar to see what our next steps are. Right now I'm just deeply sad and worried.

I am saying a little prayer for you guys.

 

[LilTinkFan]

It's that angry stage I'm worried about. I don't want that to be what she comes home to. I want this to be a safe haven she knows is here. I don't want to alienate her when she's so down on herself already. Thanks for all the virtual hugs!!!

 

[debster812]

When DS was thinking about transferring, a very wise friend of mine told me, "It's University, not Prison". I give your daughter a TON of credit for knowing she is not in the right place for her right now, and I know you wish it was different, for doing something about it. You will both get through.

For everyone who says their kids are not eating, DS says the trick is picking the 'right stuff', i.e. stuff they can't really mess up. He's a varsity athlete, so is at practice or has games 6 days a week. The team pretty much eats dinner together every night, and lots of them get together for breakfast and lunch. He's eating lots of grilled chicken, grilled fish, salads, panini, etc.

 

[AustinTink]

I just ran into a friend. The first thing she said was, "I saw your DS at... he is so thin. Is he ok?" She has known him since kinder. This is not good.

 

[AustinTink]

Poor kid, that's a rough start. DD says her friends have lost weight as well mainly because they are just more active, classes are farther apart etc.

He says it's all the walking, but he was already very fit. So i don't know.

 

[AustinTink]

A 34 to a 30 is very worrisome! HUGS!
The transition to college can be tough, but add in a relationship problem and that's a whole lot for a young adult to handle!!

It really is so much to digest at once.

 

[aprilgail]

I read through your posts and my mailbox with tissues. Thanks for asking how she is, and how I am.
She basically said "I'm coming home. You can go get the rest of my stuff or not, I'm not going back."
I've emailed the housing office and registrar to see what our next steps are. Right now I'm just deeply sad and worried.

Awww so sorry!! Going away to school is not for everyone, she may come home and excel at a local college- and even if she doesn't she will work out what she wants to do, some kids just need more time after graduating.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

My DD is doing better. No crying phone calls in over a week . A week ago Saturday I went down for Parent's weekend, then DH and I went down to shop on a Tuesday and she joined us for a movie and dinner. She came home this past weekend to work and fall break is this coming weekend. So, I am not sure if things have settled down, or she is living week to week knowing she will see us.

She has also lost weight. I think she has lost about 10 lbs. Her campus is very small, so I know it is not from a lot of walking, but she does have 7 practices a week for track (2 days are 2-a-days), and isn't very complimentary about the dining hall, so she goes to the grille quite frequently. Apparently a smoothie and fries qualifies as a meal on the dining plan . I think I should get her some multi-vitamins.

She did finally get an on-campus job in Admissions that starts tomorrow. It is only 4 hours per week, but it is two days that she doesn't have classes, so it will help fill those days. I am not sure how they finally manipulated it since it was technically a work study job, and she didn't qualify for work study, but the admissions office and work study office figured out how to make it work, so I am just happy about that.

 

[bjscheel]

My DD is doing better. No crying phone calls in over a week . A week ago Saturday I went down for Parent's weekend, then DH and I went down to shop on a Tuesday and she joined us for a movie and dinner. She came home this past weekend to work and fall break is this coming weekend. So, I am not sure if things have settled down, or she is living week to week knowing she will see us.

She has also lost weight. I think she has lost about 10 lbs. Her campus is very small, so I know it is not from a lot of walking, but she does have 7 practices a week for track (2 days are 2-a-days), and isn't very complimentary about the dining hall, so she goes to the grille quite frequently. Apparently a smoothie and fries qualifies as a meal on the dining plan . I think I should get her some multi-vitamins.

She did finally get an on-campus job in Admissions that starts tomorrow. It is only 4 hours per week, but it is two days that she doesn't have classes, so it will help fill those days. I am not sure how they finally manipulated it since it was technically a work study job, and she didn't qualify for work study, but the admissions office and work study office figured out how to make it work, so I am just happy about that.

Hopefully things really are better!

Well 7 track practices are quite a lot of exercise. DD lost weight each track season. At first at college she felt she wasn't eating very much (she has to fix all her own food- no dining hall- and it sounds like they're not much to brag about judging by the posts here!). I've done my best to send her back with lots of her homemade favorites and easy to fix items. I think she's getting better at preparing meals. Actually last night she and her roommates had a "feast" with BBQ ribs, applesauce jello, mashed potatoes (Idahoan packet), and corn.

Great to have a job, one thing that gets to DD is filling her days up. Busier is happier.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

My DD has also lost some weight - about 6 lbs. She has been actively avoiding the freshman 15 by eating super healthy foods, going to the gym regularly, and walking all over campus. The food at her school is flat out delicious! The cafeterias win all sorts of awards every year. She is also back on her ADD meds, which dampens her appetite. She has been very careful with the partying as well. She won't drink beer due to the calories, so she drinks vodka mixed with water, ice and flavor drops. She makes her own drink in a water bottle and takes it with her to parties. That way she can keep her drink safe and monitor the amount she drinks. She is one of the few kids in her group who stays under control at parties.

 

[LilTinkFan]

She’s under our roof. We’re holding off until tomorrow after breakfast to sit and talk.

 

[SmallWorld71]

She’s under our roof. We’re holding off until tomorrow after breakfast to sit and talk.

I wish you the best of luck with a heavy dose of patience

 

[scottmel]

Having a hard time tonight. My DD was home for 9 day Fall break which I LOVED. She is an only child so having her home was just wonderful. And better yet NONE of her friends had a Fall Break! LOL. so we had her all to ourselves. Funny thing when I dropped her off in August (she is 2 hours away) I was full of nerves. Would the roomie work? Would she make friends? Will she do ok? She knew no one and when I left I felt at peace in August and never really felt sad I think b/c too worried about her. This time around the drop off was so different for me. I was SAD. I feel lost tonight...I guess I think b/c I feel at this time things are going well for her I can say in my head this is the way it should be and I should be happy, but I am feeling a little sorry for ME tonight. She was anxious to get back and I could tell she had her fill here at home with just mom and dad.

 

[SmallWorld71]

Having a hard time tonight. My DD was home for 9 day Fall break which I LOVED. She is an only child so having her home was just wonderful. And better yet NONE of her friends had a Fall Break! LOL. so we had her all to ourselves. Funny thing when I dropped her off in August (she is 2 hours away) I was full of nerves. Would the roomie work? Would she make friends? Will she do ok? She knew no one and when I left I felt at peace in August and never really felt sad I think b/c too worried about her. This time around the drop off was so different for me. I was SAD. I feel lost tonight...I guess I think b/c I feel at this time things are going well for her I can say in my head this is the way it should be and I should be happy, but I am feeling a little sorry for ME tonight. She was anxious to get back and I could tell she had her fill here at home with just mom and dad.

I get it

 

[deide71]

I get it

white flag waving

Anyone has/had a kid ready to pack up and come home? Need advice (other than telling her to suck it up) for our dd. It's just all too much. One issue at a time would be doable. Her class work, roomie sit, homesick, been health sick for two weeks, no job, bad food, etc etc all crashed down last wed night. Talked her through the weekend but don't think it is going to work out.

My daughter is not loving her college. A combination of not being ready to be so far away and just a bad fit. Thankfully she has good midterm grades because she does nothing but study. She told me she wants to come home for spring semester and attend community college and transfer to our local university in the fall. The good thing is that will save me about 12,000 in tuition.

Sometimes you need to know when to punt!

I must say it is a relief to see our family is not alone with this dilemma!

 

[Sabeking]

It's that angry stage I'm worried about. I don't want that to be what she comes home to. I want this to be a safe haven she knows is here. I don't want to alienate her when she's so down on herself already. Thanks for all the virtual hugs!!!

Wondering how the weekend is going? Keeping you all in my thoughts!

 

[Sabeking]

My dd has lost about 10pounds. Her issue is a little different though. Right before she left for school she was having odd shoulder pain. She had gained some weight over the past few years and just hasn't felt great. So, I took her to what I call my "hokey pokey" doctor. He is more non traditional. Anyway, he had diagnosed her years ago with a cane sugar allergy. After 5 months of going off cane sugar he said she could put small amounts back into her diet. Now flash forward 8 years later he is saying she probably should never have it again. By eliminating sugar she has lost 10 lbs . The shoulder pain went away shortly after she dropped the sugar. He explained that the allergy was attacking her thyroid causing the pain in her shoulder. She now feels great overall! The only downside is that eating is a real challenge!!! Just about everything has sugar in it. From lunch meat to pizza sauce. She is happy with the results though.

 

[maxaroni]

Having a hard time tonight. My DD was home for 9 day Fall break which I LOVED. She is an only child so having her home was just wonderful. And better yet NONE of her friends had a Fall Break! LOL. so we had her all to ourselves. Funny thing when I dropped her off in August (she is 2 hours away) I was full of nerves. Would the roomie work? Would she make friends? Will she do ok? She knew no one and when I left I felt at peace in August and never really felt sad I think b/c too worried about her. This time around the drop off was so different for me. I was SAD. I feel lost tonight...I guess I think b/c I feel at this time things are going well for her I can say in my head this is the way it should be and I should be happy, but I am feeling a little sorry for ME tonight. She was anxious to get back and I could tell she had her fill here at home with just mom and dad.

We are through all of this but had to comment on this. This is exactly how it was for me and it was hard, very hard. Dropping DS24 at a school for the first time, was hard but was a bundle of nerves for him. So worried about it all and stressed myself out but worked through it. So many of our friends were going through this as well and we helped each other. However, when he came home that first time and taking him back to the train station (he was 2.5 hrs away) was awful for me. I cried on and off Sunday afternoon and seeing him get on that train, I'd cry all he way home. Thanksgiving was even worse as it was 4 days and then Christmas was the worst with 6 weeks home. I felt so sad when he left.