Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[sk!mom]

Hawaii came in last night with a yes and $2100 in merit - DD looked at the bottom line, $50K and said, "Nope, scratch that one" whew.......
Hofstra came back with an additional $4K award - they are now at $30K with a $35K balance due - the "options":
Parent Plus Loan
Payment Plan - this one made me snort
Private Loans
$3K in work study

Still waiting to see what UMinn offers up and of course still waiting on Berkeley (that is the one y'all are waiting on as well, right?)

If your DD wants to go out of state but money is a concern, have you considered states that offer reciprocity. I know a few students who have gone to University of Arkansas from Texas under this. It might be an option.

http://www.nasfaa.org/State_Regional_Tuition_Exchanges

 

[mamacatnv]

If your DD wants to go out of state but money is a concern, have you considered states that offer reciprocity. I know a few students who have gone to University of Arkansas from Texas under this. It might be an option.

http://www.nasfaa.org/State_Regional_Tuition_Exchanges

We did look into this - either the campus was of no interest (a lot of Florida) or the majors were not of interest.
I know, it seems like DD has done nothing but make roadblocks for herself. I appreciate you sharing this. I was familiar with the Western Exchanges so I did go looking.

Here's the thing. The costs REALLY bugs me, I am concerned about it and I worry about it. Please note, I am not going to be paying for this, DD is on her own. I have no idea where she is going to come up with the funds beyond what we have committed to her which is fairly close to what we gave her brother. I won't take out a parent plus loan and I won't co-sign loans. My DH is 60, we don't have the working years left to take on this kind of debt.

DD has a completely different attitude. She "assumes" that $100-$150K in debt for undergraduate is "normal" as she says "that's to be expected for millennials". Now where she came up with this, I really am not sure. I personally think this thinking is warped and twisted but it does not matter what I say, what calculator I put in front of her, the reality of wages vs loan payments etc. even the threat of having to live at home with her parents FOREVER. Does not sink in.

DD has this mindset that her entire generation is in debt to their eyeballs with student loans and its just a fact of life therefore she is ok with it as its to be expected.

 

[bjscheel]

So sorry for those dealing with unstable friends. DD's BFF is not so much unstable, just not always a good friend. DD has decided at this point to just put up with it. In the fall she was all set on going to the same college as DD but has not said a word about it in months now, so DD is taking that as a good sign that she's dropped that idea.

If my nephew changes his major like he thinks he is, he will be on the same campus as DD. He is currently attending the same college DD will go to, but at a different location. They are just a month apart in age and have always been close cousins. He will be commuting from home, but maybe they can hang out some anyway. He may change his mind, though. He took about 2 days of telecommunications, then changed to Human Services. Now he wants to be a dietician. Which I can see working because he's always had a passion for food and cooking, but never for telecommunications...or humans...

 

[AustinTink]

Still waiting to see what UMinn offers up and of course still waiting on Berkeley (that is the one y'all are waiting on as well, right?)

I guess I should have said top two picks, UT and Berkeley. Still waiting to hear from both. UT should be in a few weeks. Berkeley could be further down the road toward the end of March. Just knowing the status of his top in-state pick will help. We will know then if we need to take a closer look at the two in-state school he has already been accepted to. Neither are ideal, but will have to work if the others don't accept him.

 

[mamacatnv]

I guess I should have said top two picks, UT and Berkeley. Still waiting to hear from both. UT should be in a few weeks. Berkeley could be further down the road toward the end of March. Just knowing the status of his top in-state pick will help. We will know then if we need to take a closer look at the two in-state school he has already been accepted to. Neither are ideal, but will have to work if the others don't accept him.

I forgot about UT.
You know I was thinking last night - DD has applied to 5 schools, she has gotten into 4 of the 5. The 5th is still pending.
I have to figure the schools have a percentage of offers they know won't accept, so do they over extend hoping a certain % don't accept? Kind of like the silly airlines that oversell and hope for no-shows.
Every one of DD's friends has applied to multiple schools and many have received multiple offers. This has got to cause someone a big headache but at the same time all those non-accepting must open up tons of slots for the kids who are pending/waitlisted etc.

Long winded way of saying.......Don't give up, many fingers and toes crossed for him!

 

[AustinTink]

I forgot about UT.
You know I was thinking last night - DD has applied to 5 schools, she has gotten into 4 of the 5. The 5th is still pending.
I have to figure the schools have a percentage of offers they know won't accept, so do they over extend hoping a certain % don't accept? Kind of like the silly airlines that oversell and hope for no-shows.
Every one of DD's friends has applied to multiple schools and many have received multiple offers. This has got to cause someone a big headache but at the same time all those non-accepting must open up tons of slots for the kids who are pending/waitlisted etc.

Long winded way of saying.......Don't give up, many fingers and toes crossed for him!

Thanks so much! I'm am pulling for your DD as well!! You never know, they might both end up at Berkeley.

 

[punkin]

I forgot about UT.
You know I was thinking last night - DD has applied to 5 schools, she has gotten into 4 of the 5. The 5th is still pending.
I have to figure the schools have a percentage of offers they know won't accept, so do they over extend hoping a certain % don't accept? Kind of like the silly airlines that oversell and hope for no-shows.
Every one of DD's friends has applied to multiple schools and many have received multiple offers. This has got to cause someone a big headache but at the same time all those non-accepting must open up tons of slots for the kids who are pending/waitlisted etc.

Long winded way of saying.......Don't give up, many fingers and toes crossed for him!

Yes, all the schools totally over-accept. They know their approximate yields so accept many more students than they have room for.

 

[PlutoPony]

Here's the thing. The costs REALLY bugs me, I am concerned about it and I worry about it. Please note, I am not going to be paying for this, DD is on her own. I have no idea where she is going to come up with the funds beyond what we have committed to her which is fairly close to what we gave her brother. I won't take out a parent plus loan and I won't co-sign loans.

You may have answered this earlier but where does she think the money is coming from? Does she not realize that the most SHE can borrow on her own is $5500 freshman year? And any loan above that amount would need a co-signer? Does she have someone in mind who can co-sign for $100k+ in school loans besides you and her dad? This is pretty basic stuff and just from what you've said I wonder if she may be headed for a gap year so she can regroup and draw up a new set of schools based on those who meet 100% need and/or give her full tuition (assuming she can cover room and board on her own). Remember financial aid for transfer students is usually significantly less than that for freshman. So taking any CC classes (other than dual enrollment) makes her a transfer and hurts options for aid.

Have you run NPC (net price calculator) on these schools, does she have a good reason to believe any of these schools will come in at a price she can afford?

Good luck to you both

 

[bethbuchall]

I'm sorry for all of those with unstable friends. Something about senior year and this whole process changes some people who weren't even unstable to begin with. My daughter had a very good friend turn on her senior year. It started with this girl telling my daughter that she wasn't smart because she was planning to go to a state school. And then she said that even the private schools my daughter applied to were easy to get into (basically true...my daughter was pretty sure she knew where she wanted to go and didn't apply to any reach schools). But she was just mean about it. Then there was a big prom kerfuffle that my daughter bent to this girl's every whim but still didn't make her happy. By the time the year was finished, they had pretty much parted ways, and my daughter still isn't quite sure what she did. Now, it's repeating for my son. His very good friend (a girl, but never a girlfriend) started in on him and another boy about how horrible it is to go to a state school and they'll never get good jobs and how much better she is and she's applying to Ivy League schools, etc., etc. They've pretty much ignored her, but have argued their points somewhat. And it's turning into a "taking sides" situation in their group. Then the girl said that another girl was making threats against her and got that girl into trouble. My son thought that she was going to come after him next, so he went to talk to the guidance counselor both because he's concerned about her sudden change and because he was concerned that she could get him into trouble. The guidance counselor took him to the main office, and it's all on record in case something is said later. It's just so much stress all around. We think she's feeling insecure about her future but is handling it all wrong. Of course, they have every single class together this year. He's pretty much pretending that she doesn't even exist right now, but I know that it hurts him, since they were close.

 

[TruBlu]

A musician here. What's your ds's instrument/voice?

He plays tenor saxophone, jazz.
His ensemble placed 2nd overall (by 2 points!!! Ugh!!!) at Jazz at Lincoln Center's Essentially Ellington competition last May, and he won an Outstanding Saxophone award presented by Wynton Marsalis.
On Saturday we head to Hollywood! He made this year's Grammy Jazz Band! I haven't had much time for the DIS because I'm his full time travel agent right now. LOL
I'm booking flights for second rounds & planning our trip to Indianapolis for Jazz Band of America! It's a very exciting time for him right now. I think that's why Juilliard was such a hard blow. He really expected to get a live audition. But, he's moved on now & is focusing on the rest of the schools on his list. ThE top 5 are super competitive!
What do you play?

 

[TruBlu]

Crap. I'm so sorry to hear that . What a disappointment.

Thanks Robin.
It really stinks to not even have a chance...
But, it's made him work even harder for the rest. His 4-6 hours of practice are about 10 now! I've forgotten what life is like without jazz playing. LOL

 

[sk!mom]

I'm sorry for all of those with unstable friends. Something about senior year and this whole process changes some people who weren't even unstable to begin with. My daughter had a very good friend turn on her senior year. It started with this girl telling my daughter that she wasn't smart because she was planning to go to a state school. And then she said that even the private schools my daughter applied to were easy to get into (basically true...my daughter was pretty sure she knew where she wanted to go and didn't apply to any reach schools). But she was just mean about it. Then there was a big prom kerfuffle that my daughter bent to this girl's every whim but still didn't make her happy. By the time the year was finished, they had pretty much parted ways, and my daughter still isn't quite sure what she did. Now, it's repeating for my son. His very good friend (a girl, but never a girlfriend) started in on him and another boy about how horrible it is to go to a state school and they'll never get good jobs and how much better she is and she's applying to Ivy League schools, etc., etc. They've pretty much ignored her, but have argued their points somewhat. And it's turning into a "taking sides" situation in their group. Then the girl said that another girl was making threats against her and got that girl into trouble. My son thought that she was going to come after him next, so he went to talk to the guidance counselor both because he's concerned about her sudden change and because he was concerned that she could get him into trouble. The guidance counselor took him to the main office, and it's all on record in case something is said later. It's just so much stress all around. We think she's feeling insecure about her future but is handling it all wrong. Of course, they have every single class together this year. He's pretty much pretending that she doesn't even exist right now, but I know that it hurts him, since they were close.

This is a stressful time for everyone. I sometimes think that these friendship issues are similar to some of the home drama that helps us be ready for our kids to fly- the whole "fouling the nest" principle.

My DD20 had a lifelong friendship that began to be problematic and dramatic at 5th grade. They joined different friend groups and drifted apart in Middle School but the fact that we went to the same church kept them in each other's lives. They would reconnect from time to time through the years but it always blew up. Finally, senior year an issue arose that forced DH and I to intervene and help DD end it for good. In retrospect, we should have intervened much earlier.

They are at seperate colleges and DD was relieved to have it resolved once and for all.

 

[Tinijocaro]

He plays tenor saxophone, jazz.
His ensemble placed 2nd overall (by 2 points!!! Ugh!!!) at Jazz at Lincoln Center's Essentially Ellington competition last May, and he won an Outstanding Saxophone award presented by Wynton Marsalis.
On Saturday we head to Hollywood! He made this year's Grammy Jazz Band! I haven't had much time for the DIS because I'm his full time travel agent right now. LOL
I'm booking flights for second rounds & planning our trip to Indianapolis for Jazz Band of America! It's a very exciting time for him right now. I think that's why Juilliard was such a hard blow. He really expected to get a live audition. But, he's moved on now & is focusing on the rest of the schools on his list. ThE top 5 are super competitive!
What do you play?

Sounds like things are going really great for him-I hope he ends up happy wherever he is. What are his other schools? I'm a violinist, teach beginning strings. DH is a hs band director-ds is a senior percussionist in his bands (concert and jazz) and dd is a freshman clarinet/tenor sax (lol) player in his jazz band. They went to Japan this year for a jazz exchange and tour. My older son went a few years back with the jazz band.

Best of luck in the coming weeks of auditions!

 

[mamacatnv]

You may have answered this earlier but where does she think the money is coming from? Does she not realize that the most SHE can borrow on her own is $5500 freshman year? And any loan above that amount would need a co-signer? Does she have someone in mind who can co-sign for $100k+ in school loans besides you and her dad? This is pretty basic stuff and just from what you've said I wonder if she may be headed for a gap year so she can regroup and draw up a new set of schools based on those who meet 100% need and/or give her full tuition (assuming she can cover room and board on her own). Remember financial aid for transfer students is usually significantly less than that for freshman. So taking any CC classes (other than dual enrollment) makes her a transfer and hurts options for aid.

Have you run NPC (net price calculator) on these schools, does she have a good reason to believe any of these schools will come in at a price she can afford?

Good luck to you both

We've run the net price calculators, we have told her we will not take out a parent loan and we will not co-sign as its just too risky at this point in our lives. We told her we would give her what we gave her brother ($5K a year) he went in-state and with scholarships, merit etc, this paid half of his bill. She does not get it, I have no idea where she thinks she is going to get a co-signor, she is absolutely not listening to a thing we say. I think her friends have told her otherwise and since we are stupid parents what do we know.
I am beginning to contemplate the whole idea of a gap year - she can work etc until she gets herself sorted out. If her plans don't pan out and she doesn't secure funds, this may be a good option. Its not something I prefer but perhaps it will allow some reality to sink in.

He plays tenor saxophone, jazz.
His ensemble placed 2nd overall (by 2 points!!! Ugh!!!) at Jazz at Lincoln Center's Essentially Ellington competition last May, and he won an Outstanding Saxophone award presented by Wynton Marsalis.
On Saturday we head to Hollywood! He made this year's Grammy Jazz Band! I haven't had much time for the DIS because I'm his full time travel agent right now. LOL
I'm booking flights for second rounds & planning our trip to Indianapolis for Jazz Band of America! It's a very exciting time for him right now. I think that's why Juilliard was such a hard blow. He really expected to get a live audition. But, he's moved on now & is focusing on the rest of the schools on his list. ThE top 5 are super competitive!
What do you play?

So glad he has moved on and is focused on other schools. Good luck to him! All these competitions and auditions, wow! Enjoy

 

[TruBlu]

Sounds like things are going really great for him-I hope he ends up happy wherever he is. What are his other schools? I'm a violinist, teach beginning strings. DH is a hs band director-ds is a senior percussionist in his bands (concert and jazz) and dd is a freshman clarinet/tenor sax (lol) player in his jazz band. They went to Japan this year for a jazz exchange and tour. My older son went a few years back with the jazz band.

Best of luck in the coming weeks of auditions!

Wow! That is fantastic! We're from a rural NC high school, so not much opportunity to travel. I'm really thankful we found the band he went to EE with. They are about an hour away but completely worth the drive!
His list, not in order...
Manhattan School of Music, The New School, and William Patterson (NYC area Conservatories / Universities)
New England Conservatory and Berklee (Boston)
University of Miami
UNC Greensboro (Refused to apply at UNC Chapel Hill - too close to home! )

 

[mamacatnv]

Spent last night with DD pouring over the brochure of Grad announcement options. She wants traditional with the traditional name card.
I have a few friends who have done photo postcard type announcements, I really liked the idea but she wants traditional so traditional it is. Now, to figure out how many to order.
Also, time to order up the cap/gown and tassel!

 

[desamnik]

Sorry, I meant to respond to this earlier.

IIT is in the Bronzeville neighborhood and in the Douglas Community Area: http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/community/douglas. It's not the safest area in Chicago, but not the worst area either. Most of the violent crime is on the west side of the city and farther south. IIT has been there for a very long time (an ex-BF graduated from there in the 70's) and they have had to deal with a less than optimal neighborhood the whole time. It's a school in the middle of a big city. There will be some crime but I think that IIT has procedures in place to keep their students safe.

Thank you for that information. I appreciate your insight. I think he has crossed it off of his list since the conversation w/ the barber. Too bad, it sounds like a good school for him, and they accepted him into the Aero Space program. We live in a small town north of Boston, and any move will be a big one for our son.

 

[aprilgail]

Spent last night with DD pouring over the brochure of Grad announcement options. She wants traditional with the traditional name card.
I have a few friends who have done photo postcard type announcements, I really liked the idea but she wants traditional so traditional it is. Now, to figure out how many to order.
Also, time to order up the cap/gown and tassel!

Who do you send those to? I have only ever gotten one of those in the mail and it was to a relative that lives down south- We are not going to be doing anything like that because I know people that have gotten some and they say "sure they just want us to send a gift" so I wont send them.

 

[robinb]

Thank you for that information. I appreciate your insight. I think he has crossed it off of his list since the conversation w/ the barber. Too bad, it sounds like a good school for him, and they accepted him into the Aero Space program. We live in a small town north of Boston, and any move will be a big one for our son.

It's probably best from a small town to a big city standpoint.

 

[v.t.]

Wow! That is fantastic! We're from a rural NC high school, so not much opportunity to travel. I'm really thankful we found the band he went to EE with. They are about an hour away but completely worth the drive!
His list, not in order...
Manhattan School of Music, The New School, and William Patterson (NYC area Conservatories / Universities)
New England Conservatory and Berklee (Boston)
University of Miami
UNC Greensboro (Refused to apply at UNC Chapel Hill - too close to home! )

It sounds like he has a wide variety. Very exciting time!

Spent last night with DD pouring over the brochure of Grad announcement options. She wants traditional with the traditional name card.
I have a few friends who have done photo postcard type announcements, I really liked the idea but she wants traditional so traditional it is. Now, to figure out how many to order.
Also, time to order up the cap/gown and tassel!

We are going with the photo card, but a nice tri-fold card. I was upset when I saw the school's announcement, it is ugly, and my boys are the ones who picked it out. Dang boys!

Who do you send those to? I have only ever gotten one of those in the mail and it was to a relative that lives down south- We are not going to be doing anything like that because I know people that have gotten some and they say "sure they just want us to send a gift" so I wont send them.

I am sending them to family and the close family friends that get the hand written cards along with the Christmas photo card. So we will order about 40 or 50.