Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[robinb]

Yeah!!!! Great to have options!
Have Y'all heard from Minnesota????

No, not yet. We're also still waiting on the University of Wisconsin.

 

[J'aime Paris]

No, not yet. We're also still waiting on the University of Wisconsin.

We are waiting too.....although I think DD is pretty set on Marquette.

 

[sk!mom]

I live in a really big state (Texas) with a ton of options but basically DD has decided she hates Texas and therefore refused to even consider Texas schools. She has applied to one as the safety school but it was last minute and based on its location, I don't think its a good fit for her.

I would never "force" attendance but I will continue to speak up about costs, commutes (travel costs), location, weather etc.

I'm a Texan, also. My DD20 is a college junior. We had planned to pay the total cost of an in state public school. As an auto admit, we felt that she was offered plenty of choice- Every University in the state. She did visit and apply to Baylor since so many people will say that the privates will sometimes make up the difference in COA. This was not true in her case so she nixed it due to cost. We felt it was our responsibility to manage her expectations since she, as a 17 year old high school senior, couldn't fully understand the impact of debt on her future and we knew that we would not be taking any parent loans. We're happy to curtail travel and budget to give her a debt free start but we won't go in debt.

My nephew is currently a senior and in the decision process. His dad has Hazelwood for him- 150 hours of tuition at any public Texas school. My sister let him know at the start of the process that he had to choose a state school. He's narrowed it down to A&M and UT- two very different options and is just waiting on department acceptances to finalize.

I guess I'm curious about how others have managed expectations with their kids.

 

[desamnik]

New here with a ?. My DS will graduate in June. He has been accepted to 3 of the 8 schools he applied to, Early Action. The other 5 are regular decision, so a couple of months out still.

I am looking for suggestions on what you have given as "gifts" to the teachers that wrote the letters of recommendation? I can't seem to get my son to offer any suggestions, and I feel like I am late! Thanks for any suggestions!

 

[robinb]

New here with a ?. My DS will graduate in June. He has been accepted to 3 of the 8 schools he applied to, Early Action. The other 5 are regular decision, so a couple of months out still.

I am looking for suggestions on what you have given as "gifts" to the teachers that wrote the letters of recommendation? I can't seem to get my son to offer any suggestions, and I feel like I am late! Thanks for any suggestions!

Congratulations to your DS!!

I have not even considered thank you gifts for letters of recommendation. I *think* someone may have discussed it earlier in the thread, though. I would assume a card would be sufficient once the student selects a school.

 

[Poohforyou]

New here with a ?. My DS will graduate in June. He has been accepted to 3 of the 8 schools he applied to, Early Action. The other 5 are regular decision, so a couple of months out still.

I am looking for suggestions on what you have given as "gifts" to the teachers that wrote the letters of recommendation? I can't seem to get my son to offer any suggestions, and I feel like I am late! Thanks for any suggestions!

Hi, welcome. I had my daughter write a thank you note and I also wrote one and gave them each a Starbucks gift card. The 2 teachers my dd asked are simply amazing. They're the teachers you wish you could clone. Dd has had them for 2 years so I felt there was more of a connection there.

 

[bethbuchall]

It can be difficult managing the expectations sometimes. We told our children from a fairly young age that we have been lucky enough (and hard-working enough) to save enough money for them to go to a state university without having to take out any loans. We're willing to give that same amount of help to them if they choose a private school or out-of-state option, but they would need to find a way to make up any difference. My oldest is really practical and didn't even apply to any private schools. It helped that his girlfriend knew, too, that she was only going to be able to afford a state school. My daughter applied to several private schools to see what kind of offers she would get. Even the ones that gave her more than half tuition couldn't come close to the state school that she eventually chose.

My youngest who is the senior now, has the added benefit of seeing how his brother and sister fared. My oldest graduated from college 3.5 years ago, has a good job, a new car, and a house and has been on a couple of nice vacations. My daughter graduated a year and a half ago. She also found a good, stable job. She has a new car. a nice apartment, and is currently on a ski vacation. That would be so much less likely if they were paying off large loans. So, when his friend keeps harping about how people with a degree from a state university will never go anywhere in life, he has concrete evidence otherwise. We are still waiting on acceptance/offers from two private schools, but he's pretty convinced that he's going to the state university that has an excellent reputation in his desired major.

 

[J'aime Paris]

DD finished her last final exam for semester 1 at 9:30 this morning.

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that she's beginning her last semester of HS.
It's going too fast!!!!

 

[robinb]

It can be difficult managing the expectations sometimes.

I think it's especially hard when your child will be offered scholarships but you really don't know how much you'll get until you apply and are accepted. Some private schools that appear to be out of reach actually end up to be cheaper for some students. It's hard to set the expectation when the price is not hard and fast from the beginning.

 

[sksjasams]

I am looking for suggestions on what you have given as "gifts" to the teachers that wrote the letters of recommendation? I can't seem to get my son to offer any suggestions, and I feel like I am late! Thanks for any suggestions!

My DS only needed one letter of recommendation. He wrote a thank you note and gave the teacher a small box of Merci candy. I sent DS this link to give him suggestions on what to say:

http://www.thecollegehelper.com/thank-you-letter-for-recommendation/

You don't really need to get them anything though - the thank you note is sufficient.

 

[aprilgail]

I think it's especially hard when your child will be offered scholarships but you really don't know how much you'll get until you apply and are accepted. Some private schools that appear to be out of reach actually end up to be cheaper for some students. It's hard to set the expectation when the price is not hard and fast from the beginning.

Its really hard when you don't hear from the bulk of the colleges you applied to until April 1st and then have to have deposit down by May 1st! When people hear that she got 32,000 merit to one school they think she has it made- yet it still leaves me with over 20,000 a year to come up with!

 

[bethbuchall]

I think it's especially hard when your child will be offered scholarships but you really don't know how much you'll get until you apply and are accepted. Some private schools that appear to be out of reach actually end up to be cheaper for some students. It's hard to set the expectation when the price is not hard and fast from the beginning.

That's so true, too. We've always heard people say that the private schools may be less expensive once they offer scholarships. For us, that wasn't true. The state schools gave scholarships to both my older two that were about 3/4 tuition. That left us with only about $1000/year for tuition and then room and board. The private schools gave a lot more, but they still left us with larger tuition plus slightly more room and board. BUT I know that others have had it work out the other way. My youngest is still waiting to hear offers from two private schools, and he has an interview for a scholarship that will cover just about everything at the one state school. It's hard to know and so individualized.

 

[v.t.]

I have missed so much! Congrats to all of those who have received acceptances, it sounds like it is creating hard choices, but isn't it nice to have choices.

Another concern with attending a private school that is a financial stretch for the family and student is the social life at the college. I have many friends that kids attended/are attending private schools and they feel alienated sometimes. One kid was all excited to go fishing with friends, called mom and asked to get his fishing poles, tackle, etc organized. He then called back and said to forget it. The fishing trip would be $400!!! The friends idea of fishing was to rent a charter, not just go to the lake. Another friend (with grown children) wanted her kids to go to private Christian college so they would marry 'well'. Well, she now feels left out since the baby present from the other set of grandparents was a new car, etc. So not only does she worry that she can't keep up with the Jones's she had to refinance the house to include the college debt. No way would I be willing to do that. While I want my kids to get the best education, I also want them to learn the value of a dollar and to live beneath their means.

 

[aprilgail]

Anyone's kid apply for the Coca Cola, Burger king or Elks scholarships? Two kids in my daughters school moved on as Coco Cola Scholars. My daughter just moved up to State in the Elk one but wont know until the end of Feb if she moves on from there. Its just wait wait wait with everything LOL.

 

[bethbuchall]

Anyone's kid apply for the Coca Cola, Burger king or Elks scholarships? Two kids in my daughters school moved on as Coco Cola Scholars. My daughter just moved up to State in the Elk one but wont know until the end of Feb if she moves on from there. Its just wait wait wait with everything LOL.

I don't know about Coca Cola. He mentioned Burger King a while ago, but I don't know if he completed that one. He also just moved to the state level for Elks and submitted the transcript/SAT scores last night. Good luck to your daughter!

 

[mamacatnv]

I have missed so much! Congrats to all of those who have received acceptances, it sounds like it is creating hard choices, but isn't it nice to have choices.

Another concern with attending a private school that is a financial stretch for the family and student is the social life at the college. I have many friends that kids attended/are attending private schools and they feel alienated sometimes. One kid was all excited to go fishing with friends, called mom and asked to get his fishing poles, tackle, etc organized. He then called back and said to forget it. The fishing trip would be $400!!! The friends idea of fishing was to rent a charter, not just go to the lake. Another friend (with grown children) wanted her kids to go to private Christian college so they would marry 'well'. Well, she now feels left out since the baby present from the other set of grandparents was a new car, etc. So not only does she worry that she can't keep up with the Jones's she had to refinance the house to include the college debt. No way would I be willing to do that. While I want my kids to get the best education, I also want them to learn the value of a dollar and to live beneath their means.

I think there are some really valid points here. When DD was considering Amherst I asked her if she had an issue being the "poor kid", Amherst is very elite, very expensive etc.
While I like diversity and think exposure is a good thing, I don't necessarily want my kid to be the one on the lower end of the spending spectrum as well as I too want them to learn to earn through hard work not a trust fund (I know its a generalization but I think we all get the point).

 

[bjscheel]

I looked at BK and Coke and decided she wouldn't have a chance. We just sent in a Jaycees one. I thought it would be state level, but apparently each state chooses some and sends them on to national for finals so maybe not so good a chance. We've done a few national ones from the scholarship search sites but have decided from now on to focus on more local ones. She feels like hardly anyone else in her class is even looking. Their counselor is not getting applications out. I printed out the local application from last year for DD to show him (he's new) so he can see about getting her a current year form. So, I feel she may have a good chance on ones from our rural electric cooperative, our church synod district, the local Business Women, etc. Maybe the county bar association will like her since she works for two attorney offices. And her tuition cost at cc will be minimal anyway.

There is one more national one that I want her to try for that is art-based, because it is $10,000 and if you don't need all of it for tuition, they give the balance in cash so she can use it for living expense which is what she really needs.

 

[aprilgail]

I don't know about Coca Cola. He mentioned Burger King a while ago, but I don't know if he completed that one. He also just moved to the state level for Elks and submitted the transcript/SAT scores last night. Good luck to your daughter!

Good luck to your son! I just submitted all that stuff this morning.

 

[TruBlu]

I think it's especially hard when your child will be offered scholarships but you really don't know how much you'll get until you apply and are accepted. Some private schools that appear to be out of reach actually end up to be cheaper for some students. It's hard to set the expectation when the price is not hard and fast from the beginning.

THIS. I'm living this. And it stinks!!!
8 out of 9 we won't know about until who knows when...
At least the one in-state school has accepted him, but we haven't heard about scholarships even from them...

While we're in LA for the Grammy Band we have a parent night to meet college reps. I really hope they can at least give us an idea.

Honestly, I think all these plane tickets I'm buying for second round auditions are going to equal first year in-state tuition! LOL

 

[Tinijocaro]

Honestly, I think all these plane tickets I'm buying for second round auditions are going to equal first year in-state tuition! LOL

An old fried from grad school recently started a gofundme page for his son, a senior cellist who has a bunch of college auditions all over the country, he has to buy a plane ticket for his son each time plus one for the cello. He already has $1,8050 out of $5,000 requested! I don't personally like the idea but whatever floats your boat!