The debate this has sparked is fascinating. I definitely agree with the title. When I saw the thread I thought it was going to be something a little more heavy, or maybe something more dramatic. Instead it was something I have a hard time understanding personally (I've never been one to mettle in my kids extracurriculars, for better and for worse), but I also know that these moments can be hard to convey over text.
I have two teenagers, one in middle school the other starting college. They're very different, but a few traits they have in common is that they're both straight A students, neither has had issues with intoxicating substances, delinquency, or gotten in any serious trouble in school. I feel blessed for all those things. But they also both have battled with serious emotional disorders.
There's a part me that sees the OPs story and says to myself if only the problems we dealt with were this trivial, at least in comparison to suicide ideation/attempts, needing to find a bed in an in-patient mental health facility, etc.
But then I think of the fight my youngest and I had on Monday at Universal Studios, where I asked her to take a picture of me next to the DeLorean from Back to The Future and she made a big fuss about it. And I'm there thinking man I'm paying all this money for this trip (which overall was amazing and we hasn't stopped talking about it since returning) but I ask that she take one picture of me and this is the thanks I get? And that trivial moment spirals into something that's hard, and kind of crazy (in the non-clinical way). In hindsight I should have considered how the heat was affecting us, or reigned my ego in just a little bit, but it was a growing moment for us where we came away agreeing to be more mindful of each others feelings throughout the rest of trip, and perhaps beyond.
Yes, these moments are hard, but they're necessary, not just so they can learn to be better people, but so we can too.
I have two teenagers, one in middle school the other starting college. They're very different, but a few traits they have in common is that they're both straight A students, neither has had issues with intoxicating substances, delinquency, or gotten in any serious trouble in school. I feel blessed for all those things. But they also both have battled with serious emotional disorders.
There's a part me that sees the OPs story and says to myself if only the problems we dealt with were this trivial, at least in comparison to suicide ideation/attempts, needing to find a bed in an in-patient mental health facility, etc.
But then I think of the fight my youngest and I had on Monday at Universal Studios, where I asked her to take a picture of me next to the DeLorean from Back to The Future and she made a big fuss about it. And I'm there thinking man I'm paying all this money for this trip (which overall was amazing and we hasn't stopped talking about it since returning) but I ask that she take one picture of me and this is the thanks I get? And that trivial moment spirals into something that's hard, and kind of crazy (in the non-clinical way). In hindsight I should have considered how the heat was affecting us, or reigned my ego in just a little bit, but it was a growing moment for us where we came away agreeing to be more mindful of each others feelings throughout the rest of trip, and perhaps beyond.
Yes, these moments are hard, but they're necessary, not just so they can learn to be better people, but so we can too.
