OT but need opinions of other moms

[aprilgail2]

I don't know about the OP, but at one point when DD was that age, we were on a "birthday circuit" where we had a party or two a month - everyone invited everyone in their class to the birthday parties. Most of the parents stuck to gifts of about $10 or $15 because there were just so many kids involved. I don't think $10 is insulting at all.

I think that is pretty insulting-even when my daughter was little no one ever gave a 10.00 gift card! And I would never ever think to give 10.00 for a childs birthday! Minimum was 20 and for a good friend 25- and this was 10 years ago!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I think that is pretty insulting-even when my daughter was little no one ever gave a 10.00 gift card! And I would never ever think to give 10.00 for a childs birthday! Minimum was 20 and for a good friend 25- and this was 10 years ago!

Perhaps, like wedding gift amounts, this is a regional thing. There's a huge difference between salaries in New York vs. Mississippi. Also a big difference in cost of living.
Here, $20 is a typical kid's birthday gift for someone in school you hardly know. For one of their closer friends we would spend $25-30.

 

[loveshak22]

Maybe your kids are sheltered...my 7 year old first grader knows that know friend is going to give him an xbox, a DS, or even the huge lego sets because they understand what things cost and what is the norm and likely they have helped pick out gifts for other friends as well and know they have a $ limit. At 10 years old - it is very sad to me that a child would truly think a friend was going to give him an xbox...by 10 most have learned or should be learning fiscal responsibility and real world costs.

I dont disagree with you about behaviors being learned - you are spot on there - but your expectations of 10 year olds as a group seem way off to me. (*in now way am I suggesting that the OPs 10 year old does not have this skill! This is directed more generally)

I think I remember a few posts where people mentioned that the 10 yo receiving the gift should have know it wasn't an xbox because no kid would give another kid an xbox as a birthday gift and/or the box would be too light. I don't know that the OP's son thought he actually got an xbox but could have thought it was the kid making fun of him because he doesn't have an xbox?

I'm sure the kid giving the gift thought it was funny because he thought maybe the kid opening the gift would think it was an actually xbox but haha it wasn't! However, I don't see any good outcome for the kid opening the gift. Either he momentarily thought maybe it could have been an xbox because he wanted one so bad or he knew it was an empty xbox box and got upset that maybe the kid was making fun of him because he knew he wanted one and didn't have one. Either way it was ridiculous.

I'm 36 and if there was something I wanted so badly and someone gave me a gift that either made me think they got me that thing or reminded me even more that I didn't have it I'd be upset. It sounds like the OP's 10 yo was more mature than I would have been

 

[DisneyTigers]

I think that is pretty insulting-even when my daughter was little no one ever gave a 10.00 gift card! And I would never ever think to give 10.00 for a childs birthday! Minimum was 20 and for a good friend 25- and this was 10 years ago!

1- clearly, it's NOT just the thought that counts

2 - if you can't afford more than a $10 gift, do you just not let your kid go to the party? that's mean to both your child and the birthday kid, who probably could care less about the value of the gift and just wants his friend to come.

 

[cheshireqt]

I think that somewhere in there, no matter how numnutz he and his parents are, they knew that was going to be hurtful to visually say, "lookie everyone what I have and he doesn't." Too bad you gave back the box. It was part of the gift after-all. If you send a thank you note the following is appropriate:

Thank you so much for coming to my party and thank you for the gift card. I plan to save and use the $10 for an X-Box One of my own someday.

You don't want your son to be rude back, but a nice reminder that their "prank" fell flat is a good teaching moment for that other kid ,and his crazy Mother. Although I wouldn't count on someone being raised by someone so thoughtless to get it.

I would then use the gift card toward something for the household and give him the $10 to put into an envelope to start his savings, or to use as he sees fit.

However, my son would be discouraged from having any future dealings with this kid. His parents are obviously imbalanced and rude. Not only because of the box, which was an awful thing to do, but asking for the box back?! Seriously! No one normal does that, even if the gift was something spectacular. Then you add to it that he demanded your son open the gifts and open his present first in front of everyone? This was because he needed to make sure he got HIS box back (per his Mother), and he felt some urge to embarrass your son in front of all his friends, on his birthday. Way too calculating in my book. This kid is bad news.

 

[MinnieGi]

Having a 9yo son, I am appalled by this 10yo and his parents "gift"!! I can see why they are not very well liked. Well that and the other incident you mentioned with the twins, b-day party gifts - odd.

I can also tell OP that your son has some great buddies, that they did not laugh and think it was funny. I think your son and yourself handled the situation with grace as best you could. I think its best just to move on and look forward. At least that is how I would handle it. I'm sure your son and his buddies will distance themselves from the offending gift giver all on their own.