OMG - That Duggar woman is pregnant again

[mom2aredhead]

I saw them on the Today show this morning.

She just found out she's expecting baby #18...broke the news to her kids this morning on TV. The older ones looked a little shocked...though I don't know why since she's pretty much always pregnant.

I kind of feel sorry for those kids...

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I'm happy for the little baby as I think babies are miracles, but I feel sad that the kids get to raise another child.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Could you imagine being pregnant that many times?! Her belly must be... stretched to say the least! But in all truth, if you want to have that many kids, why not adopt - there are plenty of kids out there without parents, I think that would be the "better" thing to do. Plus I do feel bad for the children, I mean between 18 kids, how much time can they possibly spend with each one?? Its kinda sad to me really.

 

[rt2dz]

To each their own. Who am I to decide what is right for someone else? I couldn't imagine just having one, should I go around and tell all those parents of onlies they are wrong and must have another? Or what about those people who say, 2 hands, 2 kids.

I'm sure it works for them. I know a few people who grew up in families of 7+ (one friend is one of 14) and they wouldn't have it any other way; they love their large families. My father's parents were one or 12 and one of 16. OK, they only had two, but my grandmother said it was only because my father was such a nightmare (and remained so up to high school, and even then was more difficult than not) she wouldn't take the chance of doing that again. I never let my dad live that down. With 18, it's not like they are all home at once.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Could you imagine being pregnant that many times?! Her belly must be... stretched to say the least! But in all truth, if you want to have that many kids, why not adopt - there are plenty of kids out there without parents, I think that would be the "better" thing to do. Plus I do feel bad for the children, I mean between 18 kids, how much time can they possibly spend with each one?? Its kinda sad to me really.

Have you tried adopting lately. It isn't exactly easy, or cheap.

I've friends who have waited years, and they weren't waiting for the perfect white baby boy.

 

[mom2aredhead]

To each their own. Who am I to decide what is right for someone else? I couldn't imagine just having one, should I go around and tell all those parents of onlies they are wrong and must have another? Or what about those people who say, 2 hands, 2 kids.

I'm sure it works for them. I know a few people who grew up in families of 7+ (one friend is one of 14) and they wouldn't have it any other way; they love their large families. My father's parents were one or 12 and one of 16. OK, they only had two, but my grandmother said it was only because my father was such a nightmare (and remained so up to high school, and even then was more difficult than not) she wouldn't take the chance of doing that again. I never let my dad live that down. With 18, it's not like they are all home at once.

Actually, they are all home at once. She home schools them.
And the "system" that works for them is that each younger child is assigned an older kid that takes care of them, so pretty much as soon as the new baby is born, the next youngest one is mostly cared for by one of the older siblings. The youngest is currently 9 months old, so she'll be, what, about 16 months old when this next one is born? That's it - mom time is over. Next one's coming through.

I dunno - I have an only, by choice, and lots of people seem to think it's OK to tell me I'm crazy or selfish, or my son's missing out on things, so I know how it feels to be judged and I really shouldn't do it to someone else.
But I still think having 18 kids may be a little overkill...no?

 

[ERMama]

Adoption is a great choice but its a personal decision and not for everyone.
Its not about "saving" a child.

I too wonder how much time the parents actually get to spend with each child. Its great the older kids help out but they are the siblings, not the childs mom or dad.

 

[rt2dz]

Actually, they are all home at once. She home schools them.
And the "system" that works for them is that each younger child is assigned an older kid that takes care of them, so pretty much as soon as the new baby is born, the next youngest one is mostly cared for by one of the older siblings. The youngest is currently 9 months old, so she'll be, what, about 16 months old when this next one is born? That's it - mom time is over. Next one's coming through.

I dunno - I have an only, by choice, and lots of people seem to think it's OK to tell me I'm crazy or selfish, or my son's missing out on things, so I know how it feels to be judged and I really shouldn't do it to someone else.
But I still think having 18 kids may be a little overkill...no?

I know she homeschools them, but what I meant was I don't think they are locked in the house 24/7. I'm sure they have friends and activities outside the home. They will all have different interests. "Mom time" means different things to different people. Heck, they're getting a lot more "mom time" by being home schooled than smaller families who don't home school.

Yes, they do buddy up, but they are not a surrogate parent. It's no worse than when I tell my oldest to watch the littlest while I jump in the shower. Or tell one to help the other find something while I help the third. They just always know who is helping who.

I used to think my neighbor was nuts. She has 6 and wants at least 2 more. She was an only child and thinks a big family is great. My BIL mother was an only child too, and had a super large family; she only quit because her DH put his foot down. Anyhow, my neighbor had her 6 in 4 years. Quads, shortly before they turned two she had #5 and when #5 was just under a year old, she had #6. They are currently 6, 6, 6, 6, 4, and 3. Then my DS#3 came along sooner than planned. I found out how wonderful it was to have kids close in age. It is really amazing how easy things are when they are close in age; oh, the first 1-2 years are a bit of a killer at times, but there are huge payoffs later. I'm sure the same theory applies to large families.

Large families like that used to be the norm and small families were the oddity. Everyone has there own magic number and do what is right for them. I'm sure their kids will all turn out to be happy, healthy, productive children--or at least in the average odd range; there's bound to be one...

 

[Starr W.]

The older ones looked a little shocked...though I don't know why since she's pretty much always pregnant.
.

Every so often I catch their shows on whatever network, other than the one where they went to DL, she's always pregnant. I think it's an old show, but check the guide and it's new. Her ob/gyn is going to have to get a bigger ultrasound room for all of them.

Man, I think my stomach is bad from 2 c-sections

 

[kim_o]

I know she homeschools them, but what I meant was I don't think they are locked in the house 24/7. I'm sure they have friends and activities outside the home. They will all have different interests. "Mom time" means different things to different people. Heck, they're getting a lot more "mom time" by being home schooled than smaller families who don't home school.

Yes, they do buddy up, but they are not a surrogate parent. It's no worse than when I tell my oldest to watch the littlest while I jump in the shower. Or tell one to help the other find something while I help the third. They just always know who is helping who.

I used to think my neighbor was nuts. She has 6 and wants at least 2 more. She was an only child and thinks a big family is great. My BIL mother was an only child too, and had a super large family; she only quit because her DH put his foot down. Anyhow, my neighbor had her 6 in 4 years. Quads, shortly before they turned two she had #5 and when #5 was just under a year old, she had #6. They are currently 6, 6, 6, 6, 4, and 3. Then my DS#3 came along sooner than planned. I found out how wonderful it was to have kids close in age. It is really amazing how easy things are when they are close in age; oh, the first 1-2 years are a bit of a killer at times, but there are huge payoffs later. I'm sure the same theory applies to large families.

Large families like that used to be the norm and small families were the oddity. Everyone has there own magic number and do what is right for them. I'm sure their kids will all turn out to be happy, healthy, productive children--or at least in the average odd range; there's bound to be one...

Based on the daily schedule she has outlined - they don't really get out of the house except as an entire family unit. They're not given time/opportunity to explore relationships with people outside of the family.

The buddy system does have the elder working as a surrogate parent to 1 -2 younger children. The older is responsible for getting the younger ones up, dressed, bathed, fed, schooled (they home school - but the older ones teach their younger "buddies"), to bed, etc. IMO, that's very different than having an elder child help out by watching the baby while you take a shower.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Have you tried adopting lately. It isn't exactly easy, or cheap.

I've friends who have waited years, and they weren't waiting for the perfect white baby boy.

I have a friend that got a brand new baby girl through Dyfus. The baby was in (as far as I know) good health, and since it was throuh Dyfus, there was no money exchanged. She even got (I'm pretty sure) free formula because she adopted a Dyfus baby. It can be done, it may have taken her about 1 year, but it can be done. I'm not saying its for everyone to do, its just, to me, I would rather adopt one child in need than have 19 of my own. JMHO

OMG - 19 kids... I gotta sit down just thinking of that!!!!!!!

 

[rt2dz]

Based on the daily schedule she has outlined - they don't really get out of the house except as an entire family unit. They're not given time/opportunity to explore relationships with people outside of the family.

The buddy system does have the elder working as a surrogate parent to 1 -2 younger children. The older is responsible for getting the younger ones up, dressed, bathed, fed, schooled (they home school - but the older ones teach their younger "buddies"), to bed, etc. IMO, that's very different than having an elder child help out by watching the baby while you take a shower.

I am the first to admit that I don’t watch the show; other people’s lives just don’t interest me like that. And I find that J name thing annoying. However, I know the editing process. They do not show every minute or even every day. I mean, come on, the oldest is 20. Is he still being homeschooled? Or the 18 year olds? I hope not! The others are 18, 18, 16, 15, 14, 13, 11, 10, 9, 9, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2, <1. Granted, I can’t imagine being pregnant 16 times (there are two sets of twins), but apparently it doesn’t bother her. I can’t deliver anyhow; I don’t think my OBGYN would go for 16 c-sections. If I could just get pregnant with #4 I’d be doing backflips.

I don’t know about you, but it takes me less than an hour to get all three of my kids fed, bathed, and dressed. Around 2 or 3, kids dress themselves anyhow. Regardless, are the kids somehow abused? Are they extremely unhappy? It is not the way I would do things, but there are lots of ways I wouldn’t do things. It doesn’t mean that someone else’s choices are wrong; it means it’s not for me. I’m sure there are lots of things my family does that others never would. From the sounds of it, they are pretty religious and they are letting nature take its course. The way they see it, God will tell them when they are done. Probably why they are not adopting. I just don’t see that as somehow horrible to society, or their family, any more than I see having one, or none, as rotten. They have a handle on it—no neglect and they’re debt free. They do not drain society in any way. Their kids have a great grasp on responsibility.

The mom being honored on Good Morning America today had 17 and is now raising her grandkids too since the death of her daughter. Her deceased daughter said there was no better parent in the world and left her children in her mothers care. Her children went on and on about what a wonderful life they had growing up. Having more kids that most of us can imagine isn’t a crime or a disservice to the kids. It’s just a different choice. Still, it will be interesting to see how many kids her kids have and if they homeschool. My thoughts are to each their own.

 

[Freyja]

I am the first to admit that I don’t watch the show; other people’s lives just don’t interest me like that. And I find that J name thing annoying. However, I know the editing process. They do not show every minute or even every day. I mean, come on, the oldest is 20. Is he still being homeschooled? Or the 18 year olds? I hope not! The others are 18, 18, 16, 15, 14, 13, 11, 10, 9, 9, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2, <1. Granted, I can’t imagine being pregnant 16 times (there are two sets of twins), but apparently it doesn’t bother her. I can’t deliver anyhow; I don’t think my OBGYN would go for 16 c-sections. If I could just get pregnant with #4 I’d be doing backflips.

I don’t know about you, but it takes me less than an hour to get all three of my kids fed, bathed, and dressed. Around 2 or 3, kids dress themselves anyhow. Regardless, are the kids somehow abused? Are they extremely unhappy? It is not the way I would do things, but there are lots of ways I wouldn’t do things. It doesn’t mean that someone else’s choices are wrong; it means it’s not for me. I’m sure there are lots of things my family does that others never would. From the sounds of it, they are pretty religious and they are letting nature take its course. The way they see it, God will tell them when they are done. Probably why they are not adopting. I just don’t see that as somehow horrible to society, or their family, any more than I see having one, or none, as rotten. They have a handle on it—no neglect and they’re debt free. They do not drain society in any way. Their kids have a great grasp on responsibility.

The mom being honored on Good Morning America today had 17 and is now raising her grandkids too since the death of her daughter. Her deceased daughter said there was no better parent in the world and left her children in her mothers care. Her children went on and on about what a wonderful life they had growing up. Having more kids that most of us can imagine isn’t a crime or a disservice to the kids. It’s just a different choice. Still, it will be interesting to see how many kids her kids have and if they homeschool. My thoughts are to each their own.

 

[christa112]

I may be flamed for this, but honestly, I really think they just do it for the publicity now. Come on, no one needs 18 children!!!! They can do yet another special for TLC and make some more $$ off of it.

 

[Freyja]

I may be flamed for this, but honestly, I really think they just do it for the publicity now. Come on, no one needs 18 children!!!! They can do yet another special for TLC and make some more $$ off of it.

Does anyone in today´s society NEED children? I´m certainly not carrying my 5th child because I needed one more. Haven´t decided yet whether we will have more children but can´t imagine it being because we will need more.

 

[ERMama]

(many people wait well over a year, and many times 5 yrs or more waiting for a child to adopt in the US. adopting thru the foster system is SOMETIMES quicker IF parental rights have already been terminated prior to the child be available for adoption. i know many who foster these kids for years waiting for the court to finally take away a crappy birth parents rights. many of the children to be adopted thru foster care come from neglect/abuse and theres lots a potential adoptive parent needs to learn. parent techniques, attachment issues, etc. it is often not an easy road but can be very rewarding).

i agree with the comments of let the duggars live their own lives. they have chosen to be very public however with their choices so i feel its okay to give my opinioin.
i think they have a crazy life and who is to really say if those kids are truly happy. they have NO choice in how to live their lives. sure as parents we guide all of our children and make most of their choices for them. but not giving them any real choices and giving them SO much responsibility i dont think it good for children either.
i think their committment to family is a great trait to teach children. but when family is all you can have time for and responsibilities are thrust upon you, the children have no choice. i want my children to enjoy spending time as a family when they get older, not be forced too.
what are the older childrens outside interests? are they alllowed to be in a book/writing club? can they play an instrument or be in a theater show?
do they enjoy or are they allowed to be in a sport?
it sounds like a small number of the children actually admit to liking/wanting to be something other than a mom/dad/babysitting. but can they grow their interest and learn about it outside of the home?

i understand and respect their faith. but i also believe you can be a strong committed member to your church and still be diverse in your interests.

i guess i want my children to grow up with fond memories of time spent with siblings, but i want to encourage their individuality also.

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

God bless her! I love the wholesome family attitude- and have met many families like them and if they are happy- than why judge? Allow them their big family, and you choose what size your family will be.
Happy Mother's Day Mommy Dugger!!!! I pray she has an easy pregnancy!

 

[Camno's Mama]

My general thinking is that, if you decide to offer your family life up for entertainment purposes, be prepared for the consequences. The truth is, they don't care what we think. Let the opinions flow! They know that their choices are controversial, and that's okay with them.

I think they're a little strange, and a little selfish as well. Having 18 kids is not like having four or five or six. It's in a whole different stratosphere! The world is overpopulated as it is! I think it's a little irresponsible to say the least. But I'm sure that they love their kids and try their best. They just don't really care much about the rest of us...

 

[Tammysue5]

I believe that the Duggers realize that they are going to be 'talked about' because they have chosen to have a public life... so...everyone IS entitled to their opinion. I do have to say that I do not know how one can feel that it is irresponsible to have children that are obviously not abused, not neglected.. this family is debt free... (not burden to society) The kids are being brought up in a home that puts family first and if anyone saw the show on the Dugger family vacation.... those kids behave very well!!! Would I have that many kids? not in this lifetime! but that doesn't mean it is wrong for someone else.

I know kids from large families that feel both ways.... some felt it was great some felt they were 'lost in the shuffle".... but I also know kids that were an 'only child' again, some liked it, some didn't. Who can say what is best?

I see kids everyday that would LOVE to have a family like the Duggers.. The kids I see are kids that have parents that truly are irresponsible!!!!

Is adoption right for everyone? that is an individual choice so I cannot blame these parents for having and raising their own kids.

I wish the Dugger family the best with the new addition.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I have a friend that got a brand new baby girl through Dyfus. The baby was in (as far as I know) good health, and since it was throuh Dyfus, there was no money exchanged. She even got (I'm pretty sure) free formula because she adopted a Dyfus baby. It can be done, it may have taken her about 1 year, but it can be done. I'm not saying its for everyone to do, its just, to me, I would rather adopt one child in need than have 19 of my own. JMHO

OMG - 19 kids... I gotta sit down just thinking of that!!!!!!!

I don't know what dyfus is, bu I know that my brother was willing to take siblings, and they eventually went to foster for 2 years. At the last moment, an aunt came along who took the girls (11 and 13.)

Another friend was willing to take up to 5 sibs, and they waited for 4 years, and 3 have severe disabilities.

I'd never have that many babies. (I would have liked one more little guy, though!) But I'm not worried about the handful that do, filling up the world.