Most of the character dinners are not "shows." They are just dinner versions of character breakfasts, where the characters visit each table in the restaurant and everyone gets hugs and photo time. In fact, I think that Mickey's Backyard BBQ is the only show that has actual characters.
Hoop-dee-doo Revue is a favorite for lots of folks, but it sells out early sometimes. This show takes PS's up to two years in advance! If you want to go there, call there now! It's really silly, hokey, family humor, and we thought it was funny and the food was great. There's a lot of audience involvement and they make a big deal about anniversaries, birthdays, etc. I'm not sure it's worth the $$, but lots of people will disagree and go every time they are at WDW.
Have you been to Chef Mickey's at CR? It has more of a "party" atmosphere, with music playing and napkins swinging every so often. A lot of folks like the Liberty Tree Tavern Character Dinner at MK, and we hope to try it next time we are there.
When our girls were younger, we chose the character meals strictly by who they wanted to hug the most!
good luck!