Need parental control over sons electronics...

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

Mobicip is an app I have heard others mention before. Does he have an Apple laptop? If so, the administrator can set parental guidelines for other users but I am not sure there is a way to restrict usage. Perhaps that is best controlled by placing the electronics in the kitchen at night or during times you don't want him to be using them?

Are video games an issue? I know you can set usage limits on PS3.

While I do not have kids I have been a nanny for 16 years. The two boys (now 11 and 13), are really good at figuring out passwords for password protected things like iTunes, PS3, on-demand movies, etc. I think they figured this out by watching over a shoulder or asking the other sibling who is more trusted with the password. Just a heads up that kids are pretty sneaky!

 

[lauradis]

Control to much breeds sneakiness. You have been warned.

 

[MrsPete]

This is so untrue. Plenty of parents are tech savvy, even those of us who didn't grow up with computers. I can assure you that I was always one step ahead of my kids!

I agree.

As a high school teacher, I'd say 1/3 of our students really are very tech savvy. They understand computers well and can manipulate them to do what they want, and they do this at a level that alludes me. The other 2/3 are simply competent at using programs, but they don't understand technology are not skilled at thinking through problems -- admittedly, many adults are in this category too. These kids can Google, but they don't understand how to perform simple computer tasks: Saving word processing files, moving files from place to place, burning files to a disk, or trouble-shooting their computer issues. LOTS of my students are in the dark about printing only page 1 of a file, using a flash drive, using data bases instead of commercial search engines. And, yes, a lot of the problem is that they aren't willing to put effort into it.

But, no, don't assume that all youth are good with computers just because they've always had them. What they ARE good at is Googling relentlessly -- and if you try enough times, you'll find something naughty.

 

[MrsPete]

The point that I was trying to make is that parents should not rely on apps and electronic nannies alone. You really need to keep on top of what the kids are up to. They can easily work around your restrictions. If you put app or net-nannies on their personal electronics, they will use a friend's device to by-pass your restrictions. If you place a digital limit on their computer time, they will figure out how to change the computer's clock so that the nanny thinks they haven't used up their time allotment.

Yes, the real answer is to spend time with your kids, to know what they're up to, and to talk to them! Honestly, I have a much better relationship with my 17 and 20 year old than most moms do, and I genuinely think it's because I've always, always, always talked to them.

We always had just one computer in a very public spot in the house, and that made a very big difference in terms of keeping the kids away from naughtiness -- but now that method is becoming obsolete. With tablets and SmartPhones taking over the computer world, computers have become more portable. Some video game systems include more internet access than parents might realize at first glance, and -- yes -- using things at a friend's house is always a possibility.

 

[crisi]

But, no, don't assume that all youth are good with computers just because they've always had them. What they ARE good at is Googling relentlessly -- and if you try enough times, you'll find something naughty.

As well as information on how to use your phone in such a way that your parental controls aren't useful.

 

[Daisy'sMama]

Why put your kids in a position to sneak around you? Why does a 5th grader need a smart phone or iPad or unlimited access to the net? My daughter just turned 13 and she is not allowed on the internet without me. She has a tablet, but no internet access there either. She also respects the boundaries we have given her and appreciates doing things together. If you have a kid resetting the router and sneaking porn, I think you have much bigger, deeper problems. Try talking to your kids and spending time with them. Teach them why they should avoid these things.

 

[JanaDee]

Why put your kids in a position to sneak around you? Why does a 5th grader need a smart phone or iPad or unlimited access to the net? My daughter just turned 13 and she is not allowed on the internet without me. She has a tablet, but no internet access there either. She also respects the boundaries we have given her and appreciates doing things together. If you have a kid resetting the router and sneaking porn, I think you have much bigger, deeper problems. Try talking to your kids and spending time with them. Teach them why they should avoid these things.

So your 13 year old never goes to friends houses? Or to school where she is on the internet?

Both mine (DS17 and DD13) have unlimited use of the internet, both at home and on their phones. They also both use the internet at school.

DD uses her ipad mini to watch Bethany Mota youtube videos and America's Next Top Model.

DS will be 18 soon and is a senior in high school. I don't plan on going to college with him to monitor his internet usage.

 

[powellrj]

DS will be 18 soon and is a senior in high school. I don't plan on going to college with him to monitor his internet usage.

My DD is a freshman in college this year and they have a parents facebook page. One of the moms asked what filters they used on the wifi and how its used. She never got an answer, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

I was another parents who didn't monitor the electronics. My middle DS was making stop motion videos and posting them on youtube when he was in middle school. It prepared him for his college major of t-comm. My oldest DS was in the military before college and he said playing video games better prepared him for Iraq than the army did.

They grew-up with TVs in their rooms and we always had cable and what is ironic is none of them have much interest in watching TV. DD has a couple of shows she records and the other kids don't really watch TV at all. They would have friends over who never got to watch TV and that was all they wanted to do was watch TV!

2 of the 3 were honor students and one was valedictorian, so I think they turned out pretty well.

 

[Marionnette]

DS will be 18 soon and is a senior in high school. I don't plan on going to college with him to monitor his internet usage.

My first thoughts when I read the PP's post was that it had to have been written by someone with no older teens! It's so easy to judge people when you haven't even walked that path yet!

And the kid that reset the router? That was my nephew. He's 17, not 13. He knows all about the trouble you can get into over the internet. I swear that what he hasn't discovered on his own, his so-called friends have taught him!

 

[GenieCat]

Parents should frequently review the pics stored on their kids phones.

According to one article (don't recall source), when young boys get a new phone with a camera, the first pic at least 75% of them will take is a snap of their own privates.

 

[crisi]

My first thoughts when I read the PP's post was that it had to have been written by someone with no older teens! It's so easy to judge people when you haven't even walked that path yet!

And the kid that reset the router? That was my nephew. He's 17, not 13. He knows all about the trouble you can get into over the internet. I swear that what he hasn't discovered on his own, his so-called friends have taught him!

My daughters best friends are twins. And their parents have been pretty strict, limiting internet time and cell phone availability - they finally got cell phones - at fourteen.

One daughter follows her parents intended directions - and is at 14 a truly sheltered girl. The other has been using friends cell phones and internet connections since 9 - and is the only friend my daughter has that was ever involved in a texting scandal of "oh, my God, she texted that!" - on a borrowed phone (and according to her, she didn't, she gave the phone back to the owner, who then texted the inflammatory remarks - and that seems likely - but it didn't keep her from a "Mean Girls" scenario). She's a good girl, but honestly, has made a few bad choices because she is one of those that tries very hard to fit in and be popular. She is much less sheltered than her sister.

Neither of mine are the least sheltered, and I have one that has also made some bad choices - but I don't think sheltering him would have prevented them - he also has too big a desire to fit in.

 

[DVCcurious]

You can't stop them from watching it, but you can stop them from getting enjoyment from watching it, and if they're repulsed by it they won't go searching for it.

So how do you change them from curious/sexually excited to repulsed?

Simple. You sit down with your son or daughter and put on some videos and say stuff like "mom and I do that two or three times per week." "We tried that once but it didn't work out for us". "Your mom and her college roommate did that a few times but she decided she preferred the more normal activities"....etc

After you put all of the sex videos in terms of "your mom and dad do this/have tried this" your kids will be scarred for a few years and won't want anything to do with sex. By the time they get over it they'll be in college.

It's kinda like American Pie (the movie, not the song)

"Jim, I want to talk about ************. When I was your age I did a fair share of masturbating. Not so much anymore. But you know, your uncle Mort pets the one eyed snake five or six times a day. It's a perfectly normal thing. It's like practice for the big game. It's like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall. It can be fun, but it's not a game. What you want is a partner to return the ball to you. Do you want a partner?"

 

[Fire14]

Not internet but same idea. Growing up my parents walked around clothing less in front of us kids, had playboy mags laying around not to mention other things. I personally never had desire to do stupid things and I still don't get all swoony when a cute guy walks by, I could care less. I never hid things from my parents, had free rein of car keys ( had my own sets) from time I was 16 onward, Yes I had rules about car and if I disobeyed car went bye bye. I remembering watching my pretty nasty stuff on HBO.

My BFF didn't have a TV at her house so of course when she came over to mine she was parked in front of TV. She is now living in Alaska somewhere and a little off in a lot of ways ( could be family genes, come be Husband, Could be something happened in her adult life I don't know) but I doubt the TV played a factor.