Keeping Political Discussions away from Your Thanksgiving Table

[Living42Day]

I should clarify my position since you, @Christine and others are likely jumping to conclusions about my beliefs. I don't believe in any higher being, religious or otherwise, of any kind and I am not accusing you of indoctrinating anyone. And I am not a "conservative" so don't come back with that nonsense. But you claim to be a professor and on this thread alone you admit you want to avoid people who don't share your political beliefs and that you "go out of your way to avoid religious people at all costs."

That seems fairly extreme and rather exclusionary, if not out outright hateful. Most of the world is religious in some form and you simply believe, based on your experience, that a majority of religious people are incapable of love and respect. These are your words and your disdain is clear. You have negatively stereotyped a rather large group. I would expect this out of an uneducated and spiteful person.

It surprises me (I guess not really) that people agree with you that nullification of such a large group is an intelligent position to support. It is highly inappropriate to make such generalizations about any group.

As a professor, you should be responsible for teaching your students acceptance and freedom of thought, despite your individual beliefs. Do you? Do you avoid at all costs your students who are persons of faith?

I agree with you. I think we are at this crossroads where being "accepting" is just talk unless you are from the correct side. If you are conservative, if you are Christian, etc, etc, etc then your opinions are inherently flawed and you have nothing to bring to the table. That can be inherently apparent in higher education, which is a place where echo chambers should be dismantled and other points of view should be studied.

The context changes if someone says that they actively avoid Jewish believers, so what is the difference in actively avoiding Christians or Muslims or conservatives or progressives? It is coming from a place of hate, no matter how you slice it. If maybe we all gave each other a little more grace and acceptance, our country and world would not be filled with such divide.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I agree with you. I think we are at this crossroads where being "accepting" is just talk unless you are from the correct side. If you are conservative, if you are Christian, etc, etc, etc then your opinions are inherently flawed and you have nothing to bring to the table. That can be inherently apparent in higher education, which is a place where echo chambers should be dismantled and other points of view should be studied.

The context changes if someone says that they actively avoid Jewish believers, so what is the difference in actively avoiding Christians or Muslims or conservatives or progressives? It is coming from a place of hate, no matter how you slice it. If maybe we all gave each other a little more grace and acceptance, our country and world would not be filled with such divide.

Not that you said they were, but these two things are often not mutually inclusive. Too many people seem to think it's an unwritten rule that they are. Many people are one, but not the other.

 

[Living42Day]

Not that you said they were, but these two things are often not mutually inclusive. Too many people seem to thing it's an unwritten rule that they are. Many people are one, but not the other.

Ab-so-lutely!!!! That is a great reminder. Kind of like how people become single-issue voters.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Your attitude toward & bias against “religious people” is just as bad as what you’re assuming all these religious people to be.

I’m a “religious person”- you could probably even call me a Conservative Christian (Yikes! Bring out those torches!!), & I don’t go out of my way to avoid any particular group of people.

We’re hosting Thanksgiving, & I don’t care who’s around our table - I don’t care how they vote or if their personal beliefs aren’t exactly in line w/ mine. Relationships w/ family & friends are valuable & important - even if you don’t always agree. And, as long as we keep it civil & respectful, I don’t mind discussing politics and/or religion because discussion is good. People are more than their opinions and/or voting stance, & I’m not afraid of differing opinions. I don’t cocoon myself in a vacuum of people whose beliefs are the same as mine & I don’t go around w/ an elitist attitude saying “you must think & say as I do or you are wrong, & I hate you.”

My beliefs are my beliefs. I never said. I was right. I could be wrong.

 

[Wendy31]

My beliefs are my beliefs. I never said. I was right. I could be wrong.

And I can respect that.

What saddens me though is, that, in real life, you’d go out of your way to avoid me, & you don’t even know me.

Edited to add - I think you‘re probably a delightful & fun addition at a dinner party. But, trust me, there’s probably so much more to dislike about me than just I’m a Baptist from the South. ;-) I’m also a neurotic mess.

 

[Beezle2]

Not that you said they were, but these two things are often not mutually inclusive. Too many people seem to thing it's an unwritten rule that they are. Many people are one, but not the ot

I agree with you. I think we are at this crossroads where being "accepting" is just talk unless you are from the correct side. If you are conservative, if you are Christian, etc, etc, etc then your opinions are inherently flawed and you have nothing to bring to the table. That can be inherently apparent in higher education, which is a place where echo chambers should be dismantled and other points of view should be studied.

The context changes if someone says that they actively avoid Jewish believers, so what is the difference in actively avoiding Christians or Muslims or conservatives or progressives? It is coming from a place of hate, no matter how you slice it. If maybe we all gave each other a little more grace and acceptance, our country and world would not be filled with such divide.

I've been told I was looking at extreme examples but for me avoiding people who for whatever reason can't leave other people alone to live their lives is not being unreasonable. Avoiding people who believe the Earth is 6000 years old or that dinosaur's lived on the Ark is less about their religion than it is about their crazy. That THEY flog their religions to believe insanely weird things isn't on me. I intellectually find so many religious beliefs to be wildly unbelievable that I am speechless with the thought process that got them there. I was raised Southern Baptist and damn..demons under your bed, whispering in your ear? What can you say to grown adults who still believe things like that? I certainly don't owe them anything. As far as " get the pitchforks" that is SO funny, as the shortest look around these days would show an honest person WHO the pitchforks are out for and who is holding them. But I find some religions to have a persecution complex and a distinct lack of honest reflection. But that is just me on my journey.

 

[Living42Day]

I've been told I was looking at extreme examples but for me avoiding people who for whatever reason can't leave other people alone to live their lives is not being unreasonable. Avoiding people who believe the Earth is 6000 years old or that dinosaur's lived on the Ark is less about their religion than it is about their crazy. That THEY flog their religions to believe insanely weird things isn't on me. I intellectually find so many religious beliefs to be wildly unbelievable that I am speechless with the thought process that got them there. I was raised Southern Baptist and damn..demons under your bed, whispering in your ear? What can you say to grown adults who still believe things like that? I certainly don't owe them anything. As far as " get the pitchforks" that is SO funny, as the shortest look around these days would show an honest person WHO the pitchforks are out for and who is holding them. But I find some religions to have a persecution complex and a distinct lack of honest reflection. But that is just me on my journey.

That must have been really traumatic to grow up thinking demons were whispering in your ear or physically in your room. I know there are some childhood disorders where auditory or visual hallucinations can happen, and to not have a reasonable explanation or support to work through it would be terrifying. I can see why later in life someone would want to completely reject belief in something beyond what can be physically seen/touched when dealing with trauma like that. Or want to avoid those with beliefs to avoid certain triggers.

Thanks for sharing, this gives some new perspective on the reasoning behind why someone would reject and helps me to have compassion for others who may have similar ways of thinking.

 

[slo]

My family will discuss politics, but they all agree, so there’s no drama.

To answer to original post…..
Get a dry erase board and tell everyone that if they discuss politics, their name goes on the board.
If their name is on the board than no dessert for them

or

Make a STOP sign and show it to them as soon as they start up about something.



In all seriousness…..I have no idea how to control this besides just asking everyone to keep political talk away from the holiday, and hopefully they’ll respect that.

Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving

 

[Lord Manhammer]

And I can respect that.

What saddens me though is, that, in real life, you’d go out of your way to avoid me, & you don’t even know me.

Edited to add - I think you‘re probably a delightful & fun addition at a dinner party. But, trust me, there’s probably so much more to dislike about me than just I’m a Baptist from the South. ;-) I’m also a neurotic mess.

You seem like a nice person, so maybe I need to re-think my stance. But my beliefs stem from many horrible interactions in the past. I once had a "devout god-fearing christ-loving christian" tell me that I should be dead because I'm bisexual, and that my dead self would be going straight to hell. They were not being hyperbolic. I'm at an age where I have no tolerance for this level of bigotry. And I'm sorry, but I've met more religious people who would agree with the above than who would just love me for me. So yes, unless I got to know you, if we met and you mentioned that you were a southern baptist, I wouldn't even bother. Right, wrong, or indifferent, this is just how I feel.

I think you‘re probably a delightful & fun addition at a dinner party.

Thank you, I have been told many times over that despite my flaws, I'm not boring. I'm sure you're not either.

 

[Gracedis1]

 

[Beezle2]

That must have been really traumatic to grow up thinking demons were whispering in your ear or physically in your room. I know there are some childhood disorders where auditory or visual hallucinations can happen, and to not have a reasonable explanation or support to work through it would be terrifying. I can see why later in life someone would want to completely reject belief in something beyond what can be physically seen/touched when dealing with trauma like that. Or want to avoid those with beliefs to avoid certain triggers.

Thanks for sharing, this gives some new perspective on the reasoning behind why someone would reject and helps me to have compassion for others who may have similar ways of thinking.

I'm not saying I ever believed any of that, grown adults told kids that and even still believe those things to this day. I agree though that being around people like that is triggering.

 

[Kennywood]

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I am old (55) and no longer tolerate the intolerant. I know, I know it makes me intolerant TOO!
So I chose to celebrate Thanksgiving with people I like to spend time with.

I remember being a kid in the 70s and being at a table where my grandfather insisted women should not be able to vote. That was a more moderate of his opinions. Swore that when I grew up I would spend my free time with people i liked - whether or not I was related to them!