Just a rant about ungrateful relatives….

[gmi3804]

Yeah I told my husband I’m waiting for “can you pay for our airfare?”

That was my thought too.

This person is either extremely selfish/entitled or delusional. Or both. She's bound to be financially needy her entire life, and that's not a way to start off a marriage. If you can't even afford to buy park tickets, you shouldn't be spending money on a honeymoon at all - or maybe just do one that's really frugal. What's she going to use for spending money once she's there? Hope?

Let me guess: She's snookered someone into paying for a lavish wedding also. Again, more money that would be better spend in trying to get my married life off the ground and keep it away from inevitable debtors.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

That was my thought too.

This person is either extremely selfish/entitled or delusional. Or both. She's bound to be financially needy her entire life, and that's not a way to start off a marriage. If you can't even afford to buy park tickets, you shouldn't be spending money on a honeymoon at all - or maybe one that's really frugal. What's she going to use for spending money once she's there? Hope?

Let me guess: She's snookered someone into paying for a lavish wedding also. Again, more money that would be better spend in trying to get my married life off the ground and keep it away from inevitable debtors.

People don't get like that overnight...

 

[AndreaDM]

Wowwww just wow. I'd let her know what the value of those nights really is, and either send her a link to book additional nights through Disney's website and/or a link to lodging options at Universal. Because you know, once they get Universal tickets they will want Express Passes too... I too have a relative with similar expectations so I understand your annoyance!

 

[DVCjj]

I think she sounds rude and entitled. I wouldn't give her the value of $1.00 more of anything.

I'm sorry. I'm old. I cannot stand when the bride & groom put "Money for Honeymoon". Drives me nuts.
If you can't afford a Honeymoon, don't go on one or save to go a few years later. (What we did, though many years ago. Still feel the same today, however.).

 

[PollyannaMom]

O...M...G...I can't believe anyone could be so entitled!

You said it's not like her. - Is it maybe the fiancé pressuring her to ask?? (Red flag right there.)

It's definitely possible that she didn't know how much money you're losing by not renting the points, but to keep asking for more is horribly rude!

I would tell her adding on Universal is not reasonable, both because you have no more days at that time to give her and because your parents are already spending way more than they should.

 

[gmi3804]

As a wedding gift, my parents gave my cousin and her fiancee the gift of paying off their outstanding credit card debt, to the tune of $10,000, so they'd start their married life debt-free. Of course, my parents had the means to do this, and were happy to help. My cousin sent them all their statements, and voila, they all got paid and all balances were once again zero.

Fast forward a month, when my cousin had the gall to send one more statement that she'd forgotten about. At that point my dad put his foot down and told them they could take care of that one on their own.

 

[jo-jo]

That was my thought too.

This person is either extremely selfish/entitled or delusional. Or both. She's bound to be financially needy her entire life, and that's not a way to start off a marriage. If you can't even afford to buy park tickets, you shouldn't be spending money on a honeymoon at all - or maybe one that's really frugal. What's she going to use for spending money once she's there? Hope?

Let me guess: She's snookered someone into paying for a lavish wedding also. Again, more money that would be better spend in trying to get my married life off the ground and keep it away from inevitable debtors.

And what about food? Does she have a fund for that too?

 

[RedAngie]

Even one day park tickets for the couple is a generous gift. One NIGHT at the GF is extremely generous.

Ah, weddings. I hope I don’t run into problems when DD gets married in June.

 

[daisy2013]

No is a complete sentence. Or if you are feeling generous you can offer to see if you can find a reservation at a different dvc for the same amount of points including the extra days

 

[disneydreamer1980]

I responded to the bride that we’ve done all we could for her and I hope she’s able to have a great vacation. It was hard to be so polite lol. I also told her that food and souvenirs are quite expensive so she should start saving for that. I told her if she feels overwhelmed with cost or feels like she won’t be able to afford what she’ll have to put out for this trip I’ll happily cancel the reservation and get her something else for her wedding. My mother told me the bride told her that she thought since we didn’t put any money out for the points she didn’t think her requests were unreasonable. She clearly doesn’t understand DVC. So I gave her the amount I paid for dues this year and the total I paid for the points she’ll be using and what she’d pay if she rented them and a quote of direct from Disney. That seems to have shut her up. I hope this doesn’t effect our relationship and this is the last time I’ll ever do something so nice for her again.

 

[Lilsia]

Just read your update. That is exactly what I would have done, given her the amount that it is costing you so that she can see how generous of a gift this really is.

 

[RedAngie]

Even if OP owned the unit outright and wouldn’t be taking a financial hit, offering a place for someone to stay on their honeymoon is exceedingly generous for which the bride should be grateful, not be asking for more.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Even if OP owned the unit outright and wouldn’t be taking a financial hit, offering a place for someone to stay on their honeymoon is exceedingly generous for which the bride should be grateful, not be asking for more.

I agree - my parents' gift to me was a week of their timeshare, which they booked for me in London. I didn't dream of asking for more, b/c I knew how much that "cost", even if they didn't "pay" for anything at that moment.

I mean, the in hotel authentic English breakfast was 26 pounds/person (and included in the timeshare rental) some real years ago...we only know b/c we asked when we checked in at 9am if it was offered that 1st morning, but it wasn't b/c we were a "day" check in, but we could partake for that amount if we wanted. We found the store nearby for wine and cheese instead...

 

[lanejudy]

My mother told me the bride told her that she thought since we didn’t put any money out for the points she didn’t think her requests were unreasonable.

That's what I suspected.

So I gave her the amount I paid for dues this year and the total I paid for the points she’ll be using and what she’d pay if she rented them and a quote of direct from Disney. That seems to have shut her up. I hope this doesn’t effect our relationship and this is the last time I’ll ever do something so nice for her again.

Wow, though, I hope you called her personally and kindly relayed the value of your gift. You seem really angry at someone who didn't understand. Maybe I'm the only DISer who was once young, dumb and naive about a lot of things.

 

[Wendy31]

That's what I suspected.



Wow, though, I hope you called her personally and kindly relayed the value of your gift. You seem really angry at someone who didn't understand. Maybe I'm the only DISer who was once young, dumb and naive about a lot of things.

As we’ve advised our own adult children, the excuses of being ”young“ & “dumb” only get you so far in life, never make a person look good, never come across as competent & mature, & should never be an excuse for being rude and/or entitled.

Edited to add - I don’t care how young or naive you are or how much you may know or not know about Disney & Disney DVC, but anything beyond just gratitude for a very generous gift is rude & entitled & greedy. And, as a mother, I’d be absolutely mortified if any of my kids ever asked for more than the gift being offered & especially if they then acted petulant about it when whatever didn’t go their way.

 

[greeneyedchick]

Wow! That's shockingly rude and entitled of her! I would thin enjoying the resorts during a honeymoon is more than enough. I would reply, "No, I can't add any more days. As it is, we usually rent the place out for a week at a time. By giving them to you, we are losing x dollars in rental costs. Maybe then she'll realize how generous you are being. I would also add that if it's too much for them, then suggest that they save for a year for an anniversary trip and that you'd be happy to give them a cash present instead that they can put toward that. Then cancel giving them the DVC points. Karma!

 

[dez1978]

That's what I suspected.



Wow, though, I hope you called her personally and kindly relayed the value of your gift. You seem really angry at someone who didn't understand. Maybe I'm the only DISer who was once young, dumb and naive about a lot of things.

I certainly was young and dumb once, but I was never spoiled and entitled as this person seems to be. Never would I have dreamed or thought it was acceptable to ask for someone to buy me park tickets because I couldn't afford them. I would have never thought it was acceptable to say hey, I can't afford those tickets, but also, we'd like to go to universal as well, so can you give me some more? Thats beyond young and dumb.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

As we’ve advised our own adult children, the excuses of being ”young“ & “dumb” only get you so far in life, never make a person look good, never come across as competent & mature, & should never be an excuse for being rude and/or entitled.

Edited to add - I don’t care how young or naive you are or how much you may know or not know about Disney & Disney DVC, but anything beyond just gratitude for a very generous gift is rude & entitled & greedy. And, as a mother, I’d be absolutely mortified if any of my kids ever asked for more than the gift being offered & especially if they then acted petulant about it when whatever didn’t go their way.

I've spent a decent amount of time perusing the DVC side and truly most of the inquiring come from lack of knowledge about how DVC works and like I said even members don't know it all. A question of asking if you can add nights is not equal to ungrateful, but expecting someone to cover the cost of those nights does creep into that category.

We weren't there so I'm not sure if we know how it all went down either. My initial gut reaction was there may have been something to lead the second cousin to think there was more being included than there really was. If the OP is as close as they have told us they are that may be even more likely. A favored relative it may be easy to get a miscommunication and IRL sometimes it's easy to become blindsided when you thought something was happening and wasn't. It can come out poorly. And sometimes it's how someone really is (i.e. lacking tact in being given something).

I'm wondering if there was time spent away from the second cousin because even though weddings bring out the worst in people if you're that close to someone throughout your lifetime you've been exposed to conversations over time. This realistically is unlikely to be the first time the bride has thought someone else was and should be footing the bill. And come to think of it while it can happen to us all the unexpected expenditures that come from a vacation this may sound more like the parents rarely spoke with the bride about finances and what goes into a vacation (which is part of the reason I said you don't get like that overnight in response to a PP's comment).

 

[RoseGold]

So I gave her the amount I paid for dues this year and the total I paid for the points she’ll be using and what she’d pay if she rented them and a quote of direct from Disney. That seems to have shut her up. I hope this doesn’t effect our relationship and this is the last time I’ll ever do something so nice for her again.

Wow, she just said nothing. Crazy. This is where you backtrack and make it right and say --- OMG, I didn't realize. Wow, this is all a lot. I just thought you lose it if someone doesn't go, and wow. This is fantastic. Thanks for such a generous gift Uncle! This is really going to be a nice room!

Saying nothing is like the worst possible response.

 

[Wendy31]

I've spent a decent amount of time perusing the DVC side and truly most of the inquiring come from lack of knowledge about how DVC works and like I said even members don't know it all. A question of asking if you can add nights is not equal to ungrateful, but expecting someone to cover the cost of those nights does creep into that category.

We weren't there so I'm not sure if we know how it all went down either. My initial gut reaction was there may have been something to lead the second cousin to think there was more being included than there really was. If the OP is as close as they have told us they are that may be even more likely. A favored relative it may be easy to get a miscommunication and IRL sometimes it's easy to become blindsided when you thought something was happening and wasn't. It can come out poorly. And sometimes it's how someone really is (i.e. lacking tact in being given something).

I'm wondering if there was time spent away from the second cousin because even though weddings bring out the worst in people if you're that close to someone throughout your lifetime you've been exposed to conversations over time. This realistically is unlikely to be the first time the bride has thought someone else was and should be footing the bill. And come to think of it while it can happen to us all the unexpected expenditures that come from a vacation this may sound more like the parents rarely spoke with the bride about finances and what goes into a vacation (which is part of the reason I said you don't get like that overnight in response to a PP's comment).

In re-reading the original post, I think it is the OP’s parents who are purchasing the tickets & NOT the bride’s parents.

The OP offered the DVC for a week, & the bride came back & said, “Can you pay for tickets too?” The OP was taken aback, & HER parents (not the bride’s parents) offered to purchase the tickets as their wedding gift.

At least, that’s the way I read it.

And, yes, as a mother - heck, as a PERSON - I’d be mortified if someone close to me was acting the way this bride is.

Edited to Add - Well, you edited your comment, so now mine makes no sense! LOL!