Job (or life) changes and the fear of the unknown

[wilbret]

Just need to put it on paper.

Prior to my current job, I was at a company in the "so and so" industry for a decade. It really started off great, but the company struggled to manage thru astronomical growth and became miserable. Loved the people, not the culture that developed. Turnover was off the charts, and we all actually were looking for jobs, but many just never pulled the trigger due to comfort levels. They pulled the trigger for us, and laid off a bunch of us, and I was lucky enough to quickly get a new job, in a completely different industry.

My new boss was great. He understood work life balance, was supportive, and knew a ton. I was creating a new role the company never had before, and had people around me with decades of experience to learn from. Then they laid off everyone with experience, my boss included. I've got 2 years under my belt, and I'm the senior person. This is nuts. New boss comes in, no relevant experience, no history, no knowledge. He is admittedly ADD, has adult kids, and doesn't seem to care much about work life balance. He's a SUPER nice guy though. We've been chugging along, a skeleton crew of people that don't know anything, doing the jobs with less than half the staff. Priorities change every day. It's not miserable, but I don't wake up in the morning excited about... but I am in the comfort zone.

Then, I get a call from a company in my old industry. Six people I worked with previously are there now. I had a phone interview, and they asked to schedule a second interview. For some reason, I'm uneasy. Why do people fear the unknown so much, when the KNOWN is actually not that great?

I am in my very early 40s. I have 2 friends that are RETIRED. They took gambles and won. I literally had the option to participate, but I couldn't stomach the thought of cashing out my 401k, etc, to take a chance on something. UGH. I wish I had that element in my DNA to only see potential OPPORTUNITY, instead of focusing on the potential for FAILURE.

So anyway, what's going on in your world? Any stories to share?

 

[ronandannette]

Just need to put it on paper.

Prior to my current job, I was at a company in the "so and so" industry for a decade. It really started off great, but the company struggled to manage thru astronomical growth and became miserable. Loved the people, not the culture that developed. Turnover was off the charts, and we all actually were looking for jobs, but many just never pulled the trigger due to comfort levels. They pulled the trigger for us, and laid off a bunch of us, and I was lucky enough to quickly get a new job, in a completely different industry.

My new boss was great. He understood work life balance, was supportive, and knew a ton. I was creating a new role the company never had before, and had people around me with decades of experience to learn from. Then they laid off everyone with experience, my boss included. I've got 2 years under my belt, and I'm the senior person. This is nuts. New boss comes in, no relevant experience, no history, no knowledge. He is admittedly ADD, has adult kids, and doesn't seem to care much about work life balance. He's a SUPER nice guy though. We've been chugging along, a skeleton crew of people that don't know anything, doing the jobs with less than half the staff. Priorities change every day. It's not miserable, but I don't wake up in the morning excited about... but I am in the comfort zone.

Then, I get a call from a company in my old industry. Six people I worked with previously are there now. I had a phone interview, and they asked to schedule a second interview. For some reason, I'm uneasy. Why do people fear the unknown so much, when the KNOWN is actually not that great?

I am in my very early 40s. I have 2 friends that are RETIRED. They took gambles and won. I literally had the option to participate, but I couldn't stomach the thought of cashing out my 401k, etc, to take a chance on something. UGH. I wish I had that element in my DNA to only see potential OPPORTUNITY, instead of focusing on the potential for FAILURE.

So anyway, what's going on in your world? Any stories to share?

I think it all has to do with a person's tolerance for risk. I'm at the very, very low end of that spectrum myself and will never be one to earn the great rewards that come with being a venturer - either professionally or personally. I'm most definitely a plodder and I'm OK with that. Very OK - life is good. OTOH, if I was finding myself feeling disappointed and envious of others based on opportunities that I passed up, I'd probably just force myself to "take a leap" because discontentment is a terrible state to live in. I wish you well.

 

[RamblingMad]

With COVID I’d be very hesitant to move jobs unless I knew the company I was going to was sound financially to weather the second wave coming in flu season at the end of the year.

 

[wilbret]

With COVID I’d be very hesitant to move jobs unless I knew the company I was going to was sound financially to weather the second wave coming in flu season at the end of the year.

Yep, good point. This company is a company everyone would know, plus I have insight thanks to having insider friends there.

 

[DVC California]

... It's not miserable, but I don't wake up in the morning excited about... but I am in the comfort zone...

This.

Sometimes its not so much about change, but rather our current comfort level. Personally, I know I could earn more someplace else... but I'm okay where I'm working. If asked, I generally tell people that I may be in a rut, but it's my happy little rut! Kind of like watching TV and the remote goes missing. The show that's on now isn't what I want to watch but looking around for the remote is too much work, LOL.

I know you didn't ask for advice but this is the internet, so here's some anyway. In your case, just let things unfold and then make a decision. Go to the 2nd interview. See if you get an offer and what the salary/benefits are. Then talk to you 6 former co-workers to see if their happy. If the pros outweigh the cons, then go for it.

Good Luck wilbret!

 

[wilbret]

Hey, I wouldn't have posted it if I didn't expect or desire feedback and advice. Either directly or thru similar experiences!

I'm working from home with 3 kids here, they aren't much at providing feedback, lol.

 

[ashley0139]

They say the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

I have no idea what the right decision is for you, but I hope you are happy either way.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I left my job in December. I was burnt out with no work life balance and that was after 60 hour weeks sometimes and working weeks straight with no days off. I had health crisis diagnosed and I put in to take 2 months off and granted then started the emails maybe I could work from home after 3 weeks and just do the "paperwork." I work in crisis intervention, it's always more than paperwork. I knew I had to leave.

In Jan I had surgery and by Feb I had major infection. By middle of March I was feeling better and the plague hit. I have tagged in to help here and there as my old office was overloaded but I didn't want to be in charge or anywhere near where I was working.
In middle of May I was told some more health news and now back to hanging out. I tell my story to say that often things work out in ways we don't expect. I know beyond shadow doubt I'd ignored my health issues or worked myself to near death if I hadn't left. Now I'm taking multiple online college classes just to keep myself doing something and working on new certifications to show that I am doing something when I launch back into the job market.

On other hand, my husband graduated college in May at 43 after 20 years in military. Everyone expected him to go back working within military because of his comfort zone. He challenged himself by putting out resumes, doing interviews and surprised everyone including himself by taking job in the civilian sector. It's way outside what he knows people wise but he is enjoying it. I'm so proud of him for wanting to grow and show he is more than what someone expects.

No one knows what the right answer is but I think if you are already in place of unhappiness with your job at this early stage, I can't imagine it's going to get any better. Have you spoken with your coworkers about why they chose that company? Would you be working with them again? Do you want to start over again something new?

Good luck in your decision.

 

[Miffy]

Here's my feeling about your situation, @wilbret--We live in totally unpredictable times. Your current comfort-zone job could end with little notice. I'm not saying it will, just that it could--unless you're in some kind of covid-proof industry, which you might be.

What's wrong with testing the waters at the potential new place? Having another interview isn't the equivalent of accepting a job. And, whatever you decide, don't base it on feeling guilty that you'll be deserting your current coworkers, robbing them of the most senior person there. That isn't your problem.

And, you know, maybe your kids would have good advice for you. Ask them!

 

[PollyannaMom]

Why do people fear the unknown so much, when the KNOWN is actually not that great?

Because change (all change, even good change) is inherently stressful.

What I would do in your situation is probably take the interview, listen to what they have to say, and make a pro & con list, including such categories as:

work/life balance *
making a contribution I feel good about
salary and benefits


* including the ability to work from home - at least for the near future (You mentioned you have 3 kids, and school schedules are changing rapidly right now.)

 

[wilbret]

They say the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

I have no idea what the right decision is for you, but I hope you are happy either way.

Thanks. I'm sure I'll be sick with whatever decision I make, lol.

 

[spiders]

During the 2008 recession, I quit my job without another job lined up. I was also still in my 20's and didn't have any kids so that made it a little easier. I remember my boss asked me where I was going and I didn't actually know other than I was going to try to get into air traffic control. I just said, "I don't know but I can't do this anymore."

I actually had a dream where in my dream, the alarm went off, I went to get dressed, was putting on my tie when I looked into the mirror. I was about 45 in this dream and I just remember how disappointed I was that I had let that job become my career. I quit about 3 weeks after. Fortunately, everything worked out for me...the first 2 years were a little rough but it ended up being the best career decision I ever made.

 

[wilbret]

Here's my feeling about your situation, @wilbret--We live in totally unpredictable times. Your current comfort-zone job could end with little notice. I'm not saying it will, just that it could--unless you're in some kind of covid-proof industry, which you might be.

What's wrong with testing the waters at the potential new place? Having another interview isn't the equivalent of accepting a job. And, whatever you decide, don't base it on feeling guilty that you'll be deserting your current coworkers, robbing them of the most senior person there. That isn't your problem.

And, you know, maybe your kids would have good advice for you. Ask them!

Funny thing you mention about being covid-proof. My industry has actually thrived during this time. We exceeded 2019 sales by mid-year, and this isn't a tiny company. This is building products, and people were evidently busy! This other industry could be impacted by covid moreso than my current one, but realistically, not so much.

My point was just that human nature is funny. Even if we aren't happy where we are, we struggle to leave. It's an odd wiring of the brain. We fear change more than we should.

 

[morgan98]

While I completely understand that feeling unhappy at work or having the feeling that you are just existing isn't the greatest I am not sure about now being the time to make drastic moves. However, I tend to be somewhat risk adverse so there is that.

At your current place of employment, you are a known commodity and have relationships. Provided you are a strong performer, that will probably help during these uncertain economic times. I know that for me, I am valued currently and that even though we had furloughs and a RIF, I am fairly safe unless things get really, really bad. However, if I were to go somewhere new now, it would be harder to make an impact and build relationships and a value proposition remotely. If something were to happen within the company, it seems like first in, first out would be a way for them to look at headcount adjustments.

***Please do not take any of this personally, as I do not know your role, industry, etc. I just know that right now I am not sure I would want to be trying to re-establish myself at a new employer. But, it could work out great. Again, I think personal risk tolerance is a big consideration.

 

[Micca]

Because change (all change, even good change) is inherently stressful.

...And inevitable. So assume your current situation will change for the better or for the worse, which do you think it's most likely to be? Same with the other job, things will change there too, maybe the people you know there could "read the tea leaves."

Another factor, you are young-ish but in 10 years your desirability as a new hire may diminish (depending on your field of work.) In this respect if you're not going to stick it out where you are, the time to move is now, whether it's with the current job prospect or elsewhere.

I hope it all goes your way, hope to hear how it all turns out.

 

[wilbret]

...And inevitable. So assume your current situation will change for the better or for the worse, which do you think it's most likely to be? Same with the other job, things will change there too, maybe the people you know there could "read the tea leaves."

Another factor, you are young-ish but in 10 years your desirability as a new hire may diminish (depending on your field of work.) In this respect if you're not going to stick it out where you are, the time to move is now, whether it's with the current job prospect or elsewhere.

I hope it all goes your way, hope to hear how it all turns out.

I think you just called me OLD! Whyyy you!

A 50+ buddy of mine from the old place was let go on #blackwhateverdayitwas, and it took him almost 2 years to find a new job. He had no job for the longest time, unable to land anything. He couldn't even get a job to get by on at the places he hoped would be a shoe-in, like Costco or Home Depot. Luckily his wife has a job, and they had no debt. He got a contract job, but could never get enough hours. He got a job at a retail company literally the week everything shut down for Covid. He worked for ONE DAY and got laid off. He ended up getting a job a couple months ago at a place that is perfect for him.

 

[wilbret]

While I completely understand that feeling unhappy at work or having the feeling that you are just existing isn't the greatest I am not sure about now being the time to make drastic moves. However, I tend to be somewhat risk adverse so there is that.

At your current place of employment, you are a known commodity and have relationships. Provided you are a strong performer, that will probably help during these uncertain economic times. I know that for me, I am valued currently and that even though we had furloughs and a RIF, I am fairly safe unless things get really, really bad. However, if I were to go somewhere new now, it would be harder to make an impact and build relationships and a value proposition remotely. If something were to happen within the company, it seems like first in, first out would be a way for them to look at headcount adjustments.

***Please do not take any of this personally, as I do not know your role, industry, etc. I just know that right now I am not sure I would want to be trying to re-establish myself at a new employer. But, it could work out great. Again, I think personal risk tolerance is a big consideration.

All excellent points, and something that I do take to heart. I have invested so much time to learn this industry, and met so many people. I'm just now getting into a groove, it seems like. The pain points are probably not really that painful, in the scheme of things. I guess I should step back and say that when I took this job, I took a significant pay cut. I was miserable at the other place, and recently laid off. This place promised a nice bonus, flexible work from home schedule, growth, etc... This new job is literally in the same position I left, in the same industry I left. I know it. It would be awkward, like any change, but it wouldn't be like re-learning the wheel. I know it's not like I have the job locked in or anything, I"m just postulating so if the moment arrives, I'll have my bearings straight.

It's all just complications, and I know I am blessed and fortunate. I'm not complaining, I'm just thinking out loud, so to speak. I appreciate all the feedback.

 

[Micca]

I think you just called me OLD! Whyyy you!

Of course you're not old, neither is your 50+ buddy, nor are people in their 60s. However, the attitude of many businesses is to treat people like they're old by the time their middle aged. It's kinda weird, decades of experience and success in a business but that's not what they are looking for.

 

[DVC California]

A 50+ buddy of mine from the old place was let go on #blackwhateverdayitwas, and it took him almost 2 years to find a new job. He had no job for the longest time, unable to land anything. He couldn't even get a job to get by on at the places he hoped would be a shoe-in, like Costco or Home Depot. Luckily his wife has a job, and they had no debt. He got a contract job, but could never get enough hours. He got a job at a retail company literally the week everything shut down for Covid. He worked for ONE DAY and got laid off. He ended up getting a job a couple months ago at a place that is perfect for him.

2-years is a cake walk! The Israelites spent 40-years in the Wilderness and only their children made it to the Promised Land. Have faith that He will provide.

 

[scoutie]

I was mildly unhappy at a teaching job. There were lots of pros… I loved the students. I enjoyed some of the curriculum. I worked with two of my best friends. The pay was great. A couple of things happened that made me want to look elsewhere (testing emphasis, micromanaging, some “mean girl” behavior by a couple of other teachers). I asked advice from people and everybody told me change is good! If nothing changes nothing changes! Risk is great! Live life! I got an interview at a different school and I thought I had asked all of the right questions. After the interview, I could tell that I was likely going to be offered the job. I told myself if they could match the salary I was making I’d take it. After all...change is good!! They matched the salary and everything seem to be great. After one day at that new job I knew that I had made a terrible mistake, and it ended up being the absolute worst decision of my life. I found out later that the job I took was a revolving door of people because of poor management. I was told that the team I was put on was known to be toxic. At my interview I had asked if I could have all gifted ed and was told I could. It turned out, I was given a block of students who had severe behavioral and emotional issues and who were way below grade level. I had staplers and chrome books thrown at my head. I was called all sorts of terrible names.I honestly don’t know how I finished out that school year. I thought I had done all of the right things and asked all of the right questions. It turned out that the principal who interviewed me had lied about a few of the things and misrepresented a few of the other things.I ended up quitting that job without having another one. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the toll that job took up my mental health nearly killed me. I have recently gotten another job but it’s $20,000 less with no benefits and I’m having to do a lot of extra things that I have never had to do as a public school teacher.So I would say change can absolutely be good but I would be very very careful and do a lot of homework and if it all possible talk to somebody who has a similar position in your new office. If it’s a matter of just being unfulfilled in life I would start by trying to reinvent yourself in other ways. This past year while I was in pure hell at this job I started writing again. I got my fitness endorsement. And I started doing things outside of my comfort zone that had nothing to do with my career. Every day I wish that I would not have quit my original job.