In a long distance thing that my parents don’t know about...

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Apr 10, 2017
and he’s meeting me in Disney.

I’ve been involved with this person for sometime, but our relationship is still fairly new. I’m going to Disney soon and he lives in Florida, so of course we made plans to see one another. The only problem is my parents.

I don’t really inform my parents about my romantic life, because they get weird about it. Just very intrusive, and I tend to be a private person. I’m 24 btw. So I haven’t told them about this new person I’m seeing, who I like a lot.

He was going to stay with me for two nights of my five night vacation, and my parents are with me the final three nights. I wanted to add him to my res for the two nights, but I share my plans with my parents on Disney Experience.

Since technically he doesn’t share his plans with my parents, obviously, could they still see him if I add him to the res?
 

Welsh_Dragon

Mouseketeer
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
Parent of a 25 year old here....are you considering sharing your room with an online friend you are meeting for the first time? Or have you met him before? Why doesn’t he book his own room?
You are 24 and an adult with responsibility for your old actions but stay safe.
 
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
Sorry I don't have an answer to your question regarding MDE and plans.
I'm also sorry for offering advice you haven't asked for but @Welsh_Dragon makes a very pertinent point, if this is your first meeting please, please; seriously rethink sharing a room with him.
If you were my daughter or son, I would be very anxious about your safety and wellbeing in a situation like this.
I wonder if you would reconsider discussing this with your parents because if they do find out after the fact it could open a huge can of worms for your future relationship with them.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I hope everything turns out well for you and you have a lovely vacation.
 
  • Hi Pluto

    "Hi Pluto, bye Pluto, missing you already Pluto!"
    Joined
    Jan 1, 2015
    I know you wrote this asking about the technicality of "secretly" adding a person to your reservation, and not for us to comment on your life choices, but...

    Your post worries me. Maybe I'm assuming too much, but it's sounding all sorts of alarms in my brain. You are not only inviting (what sounds like) an internet boyfriend to stay in your room, but also hiding it from your parents. It sounds like you realize that there is some scariness to this whole situation as well since you don't want to tell them about it.

    I'm sorry if I'm misreading your post, but the secrecy is worrisome.
     

    Marionnette

    Children see magic because they look for it
    Joined
    Sep 26, 2009
    and he’s meeting me in Disney.

    I’ve been involved with this person for sometime, but our relationship is still fairly new. I’m going to Disney soon and he lives in Florida, so of course we made plans to see one another. The only problem is my parents.

    I don’t really inform my parents about my romantic life, because they get weird about it. Just very intrusive, and I tend to be a private person. I’m 24 btw. So I haven’t told them about this new person I’m seeing, who I like a lot.

    He was going to stay with me for two nights of my five night vacation, and my parents are with me the final three nights. I wanted to add him to my res for the two nights, but I share my plans with my parents on Disney Experience.

    Since technically he doesn’t share his plans with my parents, obviously, could they still see him if I add him to the res?
    To answer your question: Yes, they will see him on the reservation. I don’t share plans with my niece but when my brother makes plans to take her, she appears in my MDE as well, even when I am not traveling with them.

    The rest...well, I hear a lot of alarm bells.
     
    Joined
    Apr 10, 2017
    Parent of a 25 year old here....are you considering sharing your room with an online friend you are meeting for the first time? Or have you met him before? Why doesn’t he book his own room?
    You are 24 and an adult with responsibility for your old actions but stay safe.
    I should’ve specified, we have met before, he happens to have family where I live. But we did meet online. Which my parents aren’t fond of that whole thing.
     

    unrequited23

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 26, 2015
    I don't know all the ins and outs of managing MDE, but I don't believe there is a way to add the boyfriend without your parents being able to see it and still get all of the benefits of an on-site reservation, mainly a magic band and 60 day FP. Now, if you both were ok with the availability at 30 days, you could make your FPs for the same time slots (perhaps using a device for each account) then add your BF as a guest at the front desk for two days when you check in. It minimizes the time your parents could stumble across your plans. How tech savvy are your parents? Will they be putzing around on MDE just for the heck of it or once plans are set do they leave it alone?

    I'm giving this advice as a 40 yr old mother of two who is the only child of a parent with boundary issues.
     
  • J'aime Paris

    Living happily ever after
    Joined
    Mar 7, 2008
    Why lie when the truth will do?

    You're grown and in a relationship. No reason to hide it.
    If your parents don't like your choices, that's on them.

    I have an adult daughter. I'd be sooooo mad if she lied to me. Lying is a serious deal in our family....we own up to our actions, no matter what they are....being able to trust one another is huge.

    What if this relationship evolves into something serious? Do you intend to keep lying to your family then?
     

    butterscotchcollins

    Drop Chicken
    Joined
    Jul 12, 2019
    I had 2 boyfriends in my life who I met online and they were perfectly lovely gentlemen and not serial killers, but my parents were also weird about that kind of thing so I just told them we met through friends (which was not a lie.) So I don't think there's anything wrong with fudging how you met if you want to tell your parents about this relationship, but I also don't think there's anything wrong with not telling them at all since this, as you say, is new and you're entitled to your privacy.
     
  • Jennasis

    DIS life goes on
    Joined
    Jun 11, 2000
    Just put him on there. If they see it, you are an adult and don't have to explain yourself.
     

    westie55

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 24, 2015
    OP, I also am going to give some unsolicited advice. In my early 20s, I was involved in a couple different relationships I didn't want my parents to know about. Yes, I too was an adult and was free to make my own choices (or should I say mistakes), but over a decade and much maturity later I can now see that my desire for a shroud of secrecy was a RED FLAG on both accounts. If the relationship is still early and you are not comfortable telling your parents what's going on, maybe it isn't the best idea to share your room with this man one night and your parents the next night. However, if everything about your relationship with this man is healthy then there should be no need for secrecy as a grown woman, and your parents must come to terms with respecting your autonomy. I agree with others that warning bells are ringing. Be safe.
     
    Joined
    Apr 10, 2017
    OP, I also am going to give some unsolicited advice. In my early 20s, I was involved in a couple different relationships I didn't want my parents to know about. Yes, I too was an adult and was free to make my own choices (or should I say mistakes), but over a decade and much maturity later I can now see that my desire for a shroud of secrecy was a RED FLAG on both accounts. If the relationship is still early and you are not comfortable telling your parents what's going on, maybe it isn't the best idea to share your room with this man one night and your parents the next night. However, if everything about your relationship with this man is healthy then there should be no need for secrecy as a grown woman, and your parents must come to terms with respecting your autonomy. I agree with others that warning bells are ringing. Be safe.
    I totally get what you're saying. And I want to tell my parents about him because he is a great guy, but I would prefer to tell them we met in Disney or something. They don't really like the idea of online dating. So I don't mind fudging the truth of how we met. We decided not to share a room though.
     

    DWillowBay

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 19, 2010
    You're lying to your parents and betraying their trust. You're meeting someone you really don't know, so the assumption of safety is foolish. Please love yourself enough to make wise decisions. This guy may be great or may not be....but your parents are your parents forever. Don't break that trust. And don't betray yourself in a way that leads to regret. Just my 2 cents, but you're more valuable than you are allowing yourself to be right now. :flower1:
     

    shu24

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    May 31, 2019
    As a mom of a young adult, I'd rather be upset that you met a guy online and want to vacation with him than you keep a secret that could risk your safety. I know you met him before and that you will be in separate rooms but on the off chance that something would go wrong, please give them the details of this guy you plan on spending time alone with. If you are paying for your vacation, they really don't have much of a say in how you spend your time before they join you. But you staying safe is their concern.
     

    Camonkeygirl

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 9, 2011
    My Disney Experience - I am linked to several friends, whom I travel with most of the time. They have had trips where I have not been with them, but can see their plans, both FP and Dining.
     
    Joined
    Apr 10, 2017
    As a mom of a young adult, I'd rather be upset that you met a guy online and want to vacation with him than you keep a secret that could risk your safety. I know you met him before and that you will be in separate rooms but on the off chance that something would go wrong, please give them the details of this guy you plan on spending time alone with. If you are paying for your vacation, they really don't have much of a say in how you spend your time before they join you. But you staying safe is their concern.
    I don’t mean this in a disrespectful way, but I don’t inform my parents of everything I do when I’m away from them. Yes, they’ll be joining me for part of it, but it’s my vacation. I live 20,000 miles away from my parents and I’ve gone on lots of dates and met up with different people without them knowing. I don’t need to update my parents on every single thing I do. I let a few friends know and share my location with those friends but that’s it.
     

    mi*vida*loca

    Collect memories, not things
    Joined
    Mar 29, 2008
    I get not telling your parents something because you don't want to hear their mouth. Sounds like your parents will be ok with him but the meeting online thing will turn them completely off and you want to avoid that. I don't think that you feel they'll disapprove of him but just the way you met him.

    I have a 19 year old son and I'm only 36 so not that far from being 24/25 and in the thick of raising a young adult.

    As a young person (and still now) there are things I kept and keep from my mom. Mostly because my mother is very religious and we don't see eye to eye on a lot of subjects so it's best to just leave things out. And like you I don't tell my mother everything or much of anything really. My personal life is my personal life. After my divorce she never knew who I was dating until I had a stable boyfriend that I knew was long term. I never felt it was any of her business and I got divorced at 26 so I wasn't "old."

    I will say you should let someone know that he is there. I remember after my divorce, and during my single days, I would text my BFF my whereabouts, who I was with, where I was going and I even sent a few license plate pics. lol You can never be too safe.
     
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