Ideas

[disneyfanatic60]

Wow....I didn't expect people to be against this. I have removed my comment and apologize if anyone felt this was inappropriate. This situation was simply an immediate family get together to help the foster parents with items they need to care for the children. It was by no means a "celebration." No one understands what these boys have been through and it has been horrible to say the very least. No child should have endured what they have in their short lives. They now are in a loving home where they are being well cared for and loved. It takes a very special individual to foster children and I commend what my children are doing to give these boys a better life even if they don't end up adopting them. This simply was a get together to show love and support for the family. I am also saddened

 

[Ladyandthepuppies]

The boys will be at the shower, right? Does the 3 year old have any special interests or favorite characters? It might be nice to theme the cake around his favorite things to make him feel included and so the cake is relevant to him. You could also make up a cute / cheesy saying to go along with it... like if he likes fire trucks (my son was obsessed with fire trucks at age 3) you could say “DS1 and DS2 you are our heroes!” Or if he likes Toy Story you could put Buzz on the cake and say “Our love for you goes to infinity and beyond!” ❤❤❤ I know I said congrats on your last post but again, congratulations on your new additions!!!

 

[luv2sewtjr]

Foster care adoptions can take a really long time or fall through. A colleague of mine has fostered for five years and is finally in process to adopt a child. There is a lot of hoop jumping and breath holding going on right now. I would also consider the possible circumstances which caused the children to be removed from the home, as it is often traumatic.

I guess I just tend to be a little more conservative and would offer financial and emotional support at the moment and maybe have a gotcha day gathering when things are official. Sending your daughter good thoughts!

 

[Chernabog#1fan]

Foster care adoptions can take a really long time or fall through. A colleague of mine has fostered for five years and is finally in process to adopt a child. There is a lot of hoop jumping and breath holding going on right now. I would also consider the possible circumstances which caused the children to be removed from the home, as it is often traumatic.

I guess I just tend to be a little more conservative and would offer financial and emotional support at the moment and maybe have a gotcha day gathering when things are official. Sending your daughter good thoughts!

I agree with this. While a shower seems like a nice gesture, the kids have experienced serious trauma in order to be in foster care. I adopted from foster care a little over 8 years ago. While my puzzle may have been completed, their’s was torn apart. Just a thought.

 

[barkley]

Foster care adoptions can take a really long time or fall through. A colleague of mine has fostered for five years and is finally in process to adopt a child. There is a lot of hoop jumping and breath holding going on right now. I would also consider the possible circumstances which caused the children to be removed from the home, as it is often traumatic.

I guess I just tend to be a little more conservative and would offer financial and emotional support at the moment and maybe have a gotcha day gathering when things are official. Sending your daughter good thoughts!

I agree with this. While a shower seems like a nice gesture, the kids have experienced serious trauma in order to be in foster care. I adopted from foster care a little over 8 years ago. While my puzzle may have been completed, their’s was torn apart. Just a thought.

again, a kind and loving idea but-as a former foster care unit supervisor i would suggest pulling back from this kind of 'celebration ' bc you have no idea how many placements these babies have had in their short lives. i saw kids in multiple placements in a single week b/c of court rulings. to get to the point where the court is actually considering them eligible to adopt may mean they've been in and out of their own bio parent/bio relative's homes (as well as 'emergent', 'interim', 'short-term'...all the categories of placements) dozens upon dozens of times in their lives). i've seen sibs in this situation where one qualifies to adopt but the other goes back to bio parent b/c 'the abuse/neglect is not as severe to substantiate permanent severing of parental rights'

i think it's better not to make a big thing of it. let them gently settle in. if people want to 'shower' with items of need/toys it might be better to provide them to the foster parents in an informal manner.

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but as a foster to adopt parent, I tend to agree with the previous posters who encourage a more laid back approach. Our first placement was one little boy and then a week later we got his younger brother from another foster family because they wanted the boys together. After a month, a paternal grandmother and a father (they had different fathers) stepped up and were approved to take the boys. We had no foster children and the boys were not together anymore. My DD came to us later, at 7 weeks old, but her adoption was not final until she was 3 1/2. It's a roller coaster and you just love them while you have them. Also, if they leave (for whatever reason), it is customary to send them off with at least a week's worth of clothing, whatever them came with and their personal belongings i.e. toys you have given them during their stay. Hopefully, everyone would understand that these shower gifts may leave with the children if they were to get moved.

I almost hate to hit post because my response sounds so depressing, but it is the truth. All of the grandchildren in my immediate family are adopted. Of the 9 grandchildren, 7 were through foster care. Myself and my two siblings each have a heart wrenching story of letting go of a child we hoped to love for a lifetime. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever met a foster parent who doesn't have one of those stories.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I get not writing anything on the cake than sounds "permanent," but the possibility of losing them is no reason not to welcome them.

I think a simple cake with "Glad you have come to stay with us!" is fine (whether it turns into adoption or just visiting your family while their original one gets the help it needs.)

And a small shower of clothes and toys will certainly be useful if the house isn't already set up for children.

 

[KayaWildfire]

I would just write welcome (their names). Maybe do some character or other decorations they might like on the cake like trucks or something. Save the permanent welcome cake for their adoption finalization party. Adoption is difficult and the journey is not over until it's finalized, which can take a long time(I get it, we are an adoptive family ourselves).

 

[dish rag]

At that age they can’t read and won’t understand. Any cake or dessert will do.

 

[weewuvvdisney]

As a Foster Family, I can tell you how we started out. First we did respite for an 8 year old boy (every second weekend for a year). Then, an 8 mth old baby girl was on her way to us. We didn't have any baby items. Our Family and Friends had a baby shower for us. We were so surprised and grateful. Everyone was so supportive and happy to say that little girl is now our adopted daughter. It took over 3 years of ups and downs, yes and no's before her adoption was finalized.

I think the idea of having a cake that says "Welcome" is fine but I would go easy, as other posters suggested. Even though the oldest is only 3, he may have seen or been through a lot. Having a shower where he is present with lots of gifts might be a bit overwhelming for him. Maybe a special toy or stuffy for each of them.

Congratulations to your Family!!

 

[AppleDumpling]

At that age they can’t read and won’t understand. Any cake or dessert will do.

This. One of these boys is a 4-month old baby, for goodness sake. And a three-year-old is too young to read any message on a cake or even fully understand the situation. Decorate with a Disney or preschool-age appropriate theme, if you wish. Anything else would be for the adults, not the children.

 

[Christine]

Wow....I didn't expect people to be against this. I have removed my comment and apologize if anyone felt this was inappropriate. This situation was simply an immediate family get together to help the foster parents with items they need to care for the children. It was by no means a "celebration." No one understands what these boys have been through and it has been horrible to say the very least. No child should have endured what they have in their short lives. They now are in a loving home where they are being well cared for and loved. It takes a very special individual to foster children and I commend what my children are doing to give these boys a better life even if they don't end up adopting them. This simply was a get together to show love and support for the family.

I'm sorry you felt the need to remove your post about a cake idea. Honestly, when I read your original post my impression was that this was a shower cake for the parents just like any other parent would get for a birth or adopted child. For some reason, everyone else seemed to think it was for throwing a party for the 3 year old and 4 month old. After a reading a few of the replies, I just figured that maybe I had misread your post due to lack of caffeine in the morning.

Honestly, I think no matter how long your family has these children in their lives, there is COMPLETELY nothing inappropriate about having a shower to have the family welcome them in as well as help the foster parents get some much-needed items. I think you could probably still get some great suggestions here on theming of the shower but maybe re-word things (although I'm sure you're DONE at this point

 

[ashley0139]

This is why we have the rule, people!