Hug for no reason - weird?

[sam_gordon]

I have a female coworker. Usually we hug each other before/after holidays or on birthday. But a couple of weeks ago she came at the beginning of a normal working day to me and said "I hug you again" and then hugged me for no reason. What do you think about this? Is this weird?

A) You have a history of allowing the hugs.
B) Either she has a specific reason for not speaking in a complete thought or you've left out a word.
C) Did you tell her "no"?

It's not like she just came up and hugged you, she did give you a warning, and presumably the opportunity to say "no".

 

[Searc]

How do you know? Oh, that’s right, I forgot you’re a nurse.

Nope, my sister and mother are nurses, as well as two nieces and a good friend. So yourself.

 

[kimblebee]

I am not a hugger so I would have just let her awkwardly hug me and hope she picked up on the fact I wasn’t hugging back.

Even my own husband knows he gets about a five second hug from me before I’m squirming to get free lol

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Here's the thing with nurses... if you find yourself in an unexpected medical situation, facing the unknown, relying on the care and expertise of the nurses, you become very close with them, even though they are total strangers. I don't think hugs for nurses are awkward; they become very close to you in very specific ways.

Co-workers? No way, except in very specific ways- like if a family member dies and you/they are expressing sympathy, or if something very unexpectedly amazing has happened. Other than that, you are co-workers, and hugs are awkward/weird.

That’s describing patients with nurses!

We’re talking about coworkers. We talked on another thread about saying you love someone who is a coworker. Some of us do that too with each other, but many of us have worked together for decades and have gotten to be very close. (And of course there are plenty who can’t stand each other.) This can be true for other work groups, as well, not just nurses. But really it’s really a moot point because the OP didn’t specify what type of setting he works in or what the relationships are there. People may be assuming an office but who knows! It was a general question about hugs with coworkers and I gave one example.

 

[IMissEd]

I may hug a coworker after a death in their family or something similar. We just don’t hug that much at my job

 

[ronandannette]

I am not a hugger so I would have just let her awkwardly hug me and hope she picked up on the fact I wasn’t hugging back.

Even my own husband knows he gets about a five second hug from me before I’m squirming to get free lol

This exactly!! There are very few people who ever try to casually hug me twice.

My worst-case-scenario in a work setting is occasionally (not very often, thank God) when I reach out for a handshake a customer will come in for a hug. {{shudder}} I realize they are happy and excited - taking possession of their new home is a realllllly big deal for some of them but it's so awkward.

 

[kimblebee]

This exactly!! There are very few people who ever try to casually hug me twice.

My worst-case-scenario in a work setting is occasionally (not very often, thank God) when I reach out for a handshake a customer will come in for a hug. {{shudder}} I realize they are happy and excited - taking possession of their new home is a realllllly big deal for some of them but it's so awkward.

People need to learn that not everyone likes to be hugged. Even worse, we had a cousin that liked to do the hug and double kiss cheek. BLECK. We put an end to it when we stopped talking to her because she stole half my Uncles inheritance that was left to us four kids.

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

I work in a unique environment where I get to work with a bunch of my friends, so hugging is very normal for us, especially if we haven’t seen each other in a little bit. There’s certainly coworkers I have who I wouldn’t hug though.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Very weird. ...and why did she not use a complete sentence...so odd; did you mean she said "can I hug you again?" Still very odd

That's what got to me, too. The wording in the OP ("I hug you again") was really awkward!

Actually, I find being asked if someone can hug me far more awkward than a spontaneous hug in the first place. So this scenario is doubly awkward.

But in general, I'm not opposed to hugs. They're a normal greeting in my family and close social circle, and I find them appropriate beyond that in certain emotional situations.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I think it’s very weird to hug people at work. I can see maybe for some exciting news, birthday, etc. But just hi, here's a hug. Nope. There was someone here who randomly hugged people...thankfully, I wasn't one of them. She did do it to my office mate who told her to stop. She also didn't last long.


@Nate87, if you don't want her hugging you, you should ask her to stop. This can get into harassment territory if it's something you are uncomfortable about.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I find it super funny to read all the responses here.
No - don't touch me. I hate all forms of touch.
Yes - hugging and kissing at work are normal.
I only hug family and those close to me.
If you're hugging me it better be because someone died.
Don't make eye contact, don't speak or even think of touching me.
Different strokes for different folks. Dude, if you don't like it - tell her. If it doesn't bother you then why worry and over analyze it.
Sometimes a hug is just a hug

 

[disneychrista]

Sometimes a hug is just a hug

But what is a hug? In my (personal) world it is a form of intimacy (not necessarily sexual though). I don't share that type of relationship with most people. A few close friends & family. Certainly not random co-workers.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I work at a school. I don't hug random co-workers, but I do have closer relationships with a few. When I returned to work after my dad passed away, many people expressed their sympathy. Several offered a hug, which I found comforting. I hugged a few people before we left for holiday break. I gave a long hug to a very good friend/co-worker who was retiring. I hugged my classroom co-workers after we opened our Christmas gifts to each other. I guess we might all hug for special reasons or occasions, but not just on a random day.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

You have a pattern for hugging so I think you're beyond the weird part (I'm not saying hugging can't be weird but that's a moot point considering it was described that 'we usually hug each other'). I think it just caught you off guard as it didn't follow the normal pattern of before and after holidays and for birthdays.

As for the incomplete sentence it could be a ESL individual or someone with cognitive disorder as a possible reason.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I work at a school. I don't hug random co-workers, but I do have closer relationships with a few. When I returned to work after my dad passed away, many people expressed their sympathy. Several offered a hug, which I found comforting. I hugged a few people before we left for holiday break. I gave a long hug to a very good friend/co-worker who was retiring. I hugged my classroom co-workers after we opened our Christmas gifts to each other. I guess we might all hug for special reasons or occasions, but not just on a random day.

Come on Luv Bunnies, a school is not like a regular workplace. I have lots of friends and relatives who are teachers so I know this!

 

[mousefanmichelle]

But what is a hug? In my (personal) world it is a form of intimacy (not necessarily sexual though). I don't share that type of relationship with most people. A few close friends & family. Certainly not random co-workers.

A great example is that my boss just left and I said Happy New Year to her and she came back and hugged me. Personally, a hug is just someone showing they care about you. She isn't my friend, she isn't my family but we work together every day and thats her. I am ok with it. It wasn't ackward or weird. Sometimes a hug is just a hug.

 

[disneychrista]

Sometimes a hug is just a hug.

And as I said, I find hugs to be a level of intimacy that I do not have with co-workers. That is great that you feel differently. Doesn't mean that either of us is wrong, just have different view point on the subject.

I had an old boss that kept pushing the hug issue (and check kisses). I knew he didn't attempt this with other employees, just me. It was for all intends and purposes sexual harassment. I finally had to very firmly tell him it was NOT OKAY and that he needed to stop. Unfortunately there really wasn't anyone to really go to about the issue either.

 

[Twinkling]

Not commenting on the hugging issue, since I think that's been sufficiently covered, but my mind is boggled at all of the questioning over the statement 'I hug you now.' She's not missing a word, that's a very common way of casual speech among young people (or not even that young since I'm well past high school years and I know peers who use this slang). It's just a type of speech pattern, not necessarily related to ESL or someone who doesn't understand English.

 

[disneychrista]

but my mind is boggled at all of the questioning over the statement 'I hug you now.' She's not missing a word, that's a very common way of casual speech among young people

Except it was "I hug you again"

Regardless it should be CAN I hug you now or CAN I hug you again. To which a person can reply okay or no thank you.

 

[Searc]

Come on Luv Bunnies, a school is not like a regular workplace. I have lots of friends and relatives who are teachers so I know this!

Goodness, you're hilarious!!