How can I nicely tell MIL I don't like her gift idea?

[easyas123]

Why not just tell her what you told us? "Yeah he liked them a lot back then, but I don't think he's to into them now"? I mean - she did ask your opinion, right?
I know tastes change - when I met my husband he loved going to OzFest every year - went multiple times. Next week we are seeing the Glenn Miller Orchestra haha!!

 

[Turksmom]

Are you in San Antonio?

PA. I guess that idea is out.

 

[Turksmom]

Why not just tell her what you told us? "Yeah he liked them a lot back then, but I don't think he's to into them now"? I mean - she did ask your opinion, right?
I know tastes change - when I met my husband he loved going to OzFest every year - went multiple times. Next week we are seeing the Glenn Miller Orchestra haha!!

I loved OzFest!

 

[amberpi]

And how can anyone NOT like Chris Stapleton?????

I know people love him. His voice makes me want to stab myself in the ears with an ice pick. He’s also all the bad bro-country stereotypes we're surrounded by in Nashville and I don’t enjoy the genre as a whole, so it’s a thing. Interestingly the other divisive band in our family was playing at a local festival that included Stapleton, we just decided to pass altogether. It was we either both suffered or passed...lol. But it definitely wasn’t an argument.

Op - a kiss show is such an experience and seems like the fans are so rabid, I kinda get why it’d be less fun. Why couldn’t it be a guys night out?

 

[nkereina]

I really should be able to say no to something I find unpleasant.

Yes, and I do find it strange that DH would argue about going with a friend. But that said, the flipside to your comment is that marriage is about compromise. Sometimes its big things and sometimes its little things, like a Kiss concert. Its less about you being forced to do something you find unpleasant, and more about you going for DH because he would enjoy it.

 

[Turksmom]

I know people love him. His voice makes me want to stab myself in the ears with an ice pick. He’s also all the bad bro-country stereotypes were surrounded by in Nashville and I don’t enjoy the genre as a whole, so it’s a thing. Interestingly the other divisive band in our family was playing at a local festival withthat included Stapleton, we just decided to pass altogether. It was we either both suffered or passed...lol. But it definitely wasn’t an arguement.

Op - a kiss show is such an experience and seems like the fans are so rabid, I kinda get why it’d less fun. Why couldn’t it be a guys night out?

Yes, rabid fans- that's one of the difficulties with it. I would love for it to be a guys night out, so maybe my question should be how do I convince him that it should be, rather than how do I tell MIL no?

 

[SC Minnie]

OP-- I know exactly how you feel. DH and I went to see Ian Anderson a couple of years ago. I thought I was going to literally die-- yes literally. I wanted to go out in the lobby area so bad I could hardly stand it but I knew if I did DH would leave too. He was really enjoying the show. Afterward he knew I didn't enjoy it and has promised to accept a 'no' from me if I don't want to go to see an act. There is no need for him to spend the $ on a ticket for a show I don't enjoy. I go to concerts with friends for shows I know he wouldn't enjoy-- NKOTB .

I would tell you MIL that you aren't sure if he still enjoys that band and she may be wasting her money. If she still buys the tickets tell your husband to ask a friend. If he insists you go and it will cause a fight this may be one you have to take for the team.


I just saw the post with the name of the band. We saw them a few years ago. Really their shows aren't that bad. Yeah, some people get dressed up and all but there were a lot of regular suburban people like DH and I there too. I would start early with suggesting your DH take a friend if you didn't want to go. They actually but on a great show.

 

[MrJT]

PA. I guess that idea is out.

Yeah, I agree. When the closest date announced was 2 hours away, that was more than I wanted to drive. It was a nice thought

 

[wenrob]

Yes, and I do find it strange that DH would argue about going with a friend. But that said, the flipside to your comment is that marriage is about compromise. Sometimes its big things and sometimes its little things, like a Kiss concert. Its less about you being forced to do something you find unpleasant, and more about you going for DH because he would enjoy it.

I don’t know, the OP hasn’t said why she’s adamantly opposed. Maybe she has a really good reason. If her DH knows her reasons but still insists that’s not cool either.

 

[emmybee]

OP as another "go along to get along" person, I agree with you. You are entitled to say no when it's important to you, and I would not continue to justify myself to my hubby if I were in your shoes. It's his choice to pout, and you don't have to be around to witness it. I would leave the room.

I am in a similar situation where sometimes my hubby likes to swoop in at the last minute with unsolicited advice. I have been ruminating for a day or so on what I want to say to him. I don't want to argue with him, and I often just let it pass, but not with this, and not after so much work. So good luck, and you're not wrong for having your limits!

 

[Squirlz]

I saw them in 1977 when they were at their peak. It was an awesome show, but I wouldn't want to see them now.

 

[Turksmom]

OP-- I know exactly how you feel. DH and I went to see Ian Anderson a couple of years ago. I thought I was going to literally die-- yes literally. I wanted to go out in the lobby area so bad I could hardly stand it but I knew if I did DH would leave too. He was really enjoying the show. Afterward he knew I didn't enjoy it and has promised to accept a 'no' from me if I don't want to go to see an act. There is no need for him to spend the $ on a ticket for a show I don't enjoy. I go to concerts with friends for shows I know he wouldn't enjoy-- NKOTB .

I would tell you MIL that you aren't sure if he still enjoys that band and she may be wasting her money. If she still buys the tickets tell your husband to ask a friend. If he insists you go and it will cause a fight this may be one you have to take for the team.


I just saw the post with the name of the band. We saw them a few years ago. Really their shows aren't that bad. Yeah, some people get dressed up and all but there were a lot of regular suburban people like DH and I there too. I would start early with suggesting your DH take a friend if you didn't want to go. They actually but on a great show.

I have also seen Ian Anderson, so I know your pain. See, I am willing to take one for the team. This is my red line. Maybe hubby will surprise me and not insist, if MIL buys tickets, but I wish she would have just gotten him another sweater vest.

 

[Wishing on a star]

As in most of these cases... If the DH would be demanding and 'argue' that the wife must do something like this, then it is not a MIL problem, it is a husband/marriage problem.

If you truly beleive that your husband is not-so-much into this king of thing from younger-days, then that would be something to think about.
Be truthful with your MIL if there might be a different concert or idea that might be better.
Other than that, I wouldn't get involved.... I would just remain very non-committal.

Believe me, if there is any, slight, indication that you are the one with the objection, that just simply not go over well.

 

[soccerdad72]

I suppose the first question you need to ask is to your husband - would he even want to go to the concert in the first place. If yes, you'd need to figure out if he would go with someone other than you. If either of those answers is no, politely tell your MIL that he wouldn't be interested.

 

[Turksmom]

OP as another "go along to get along" person, I agree with you. You are entitled to say no when it's important to you, and I would not continue to justify myself to my hubby if I were in your shoes. It's his choice to pout, and you don't have to be around to witness it. I would leave the room.

I am in a similar situation where sometimes my hubby likes to swoop in at the last minute with unsolicited advice. I have been ruminating for a day or so on what I want to say to him. I don't want to argue with him, and I often just let it pass, but not with this, and not after so much work. So good luck, and you're not wrong for having your limits!

Thank you. I hope things work out for you as well!

 

[JaneBanks]

I would feel incredibly guilty that my husband may have missed out on something he would really enjoy because I was too selfish to suck it up for one night.

ETA: Just wanted to add that I know my husband has done the same for me.

 

[mom2rb]

Would one of your kids go with him? I send my boys with DH to 90% of the movies he wants to go see. I sucked it up for years, no more.

 

[Turksmom]

I suppose the first question you need to ask is to your husband - would he even want to go to the concert in the first place. If yes, you'd need to figure out if he would go with someone other than you. If either of those answers is no, politely tell your MIL that he wouldn't be interested.

I agree, but MIL doesn't want to ask or have me ask because it will ruin the surprise.

 

[soccerdad72]

I agree, but MIL doesn't want to ask or have me ask because it will ruin the surprise.

Ahh, good point. I suppose you're just going to have to guess as to what his reaction would be. Sorry

 

[lovin'fl]

Yes, rabid fans- that's one of the difficulties with it. I would love for it to be a guys night out, so maybe my question should be how do I convince him that it should be, rather than how do I tell MIL no?

Tell MIL she can be his plus 1.