Have you let your own teens drink alcohol

[Kitty 34]

We thought why wait til their teens......we just poured whiskey in their baby bottles. Really helped with teething and sleeping thru the night.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Where did I once say MY kid went to the prom? Thank you for incorrectly reading. My wife and I do have a teenager. She's 40 and I am 26. The kid is 15.

Sure, because getting defensive just SCREAMS "take me seriously."

 

[kdonnel]

Parts of the US range from extremely uptight about kids and alcohol to just uptight about kids and alcohol.

My wife and I have never denied our kids alcohol. When in Europe they were offered glasses of wine, neither cared for it. I don't think many truly enjoy the first taste of any alcohol.

Whenever we have had a fruity frozen drink we have offered them a taste. Again neither one really cared for it.

As far as I know, neither kid has participated in any party binge drinking.

 

[Meglen]

"trying not to judge the age trying not the judge the age.... REAllllly trying to not judge the age between her kid and you..." nope didnt work.. I call BS on all this.

 

[kimblebee]

We live on the border with Canada where the legal drinking age is 19 so kids tend to go over there to drink. My DD 19 had never stated an interest until last Christmas when she asked if she could try wine. She tried it and didn't like it. My husband and I very seldom drink but it is in the house. My teen years were spent in Europe where we could drink without any problems at all. Teens also did not have driver's licenses and walked everywhere or took a bus. By the time I moved over here I was 24 and wasn't really bothered about drinking. If she wants a beer at home with us and is not driving, I would let here try it, or we could just go to Canada for dinner .

Not to be that annoying person, but only some provinces have 19 as the legal age limit. I live in a province wheee it’s 18.

My DS is 22 and the only way either of these things would happen under our roof is over my dead body. I don't think it really matters where you live; parents need to think through the way they want to raise their own kids and set boundaries for their own homes even after their offspring become adults. "Legal" doesn't mean mandatory.

So if your son has a girlfriend and she wanted to spend the night you’d say no way no how? I totally get your reasons for it and respect them, but I know you realize if they want to be..active..they can do it anywhere. Yes, morals and teachings are one thing but sometimes you get an itch and you just need it scratched.

I’m sorry if this is coming off as gross. It always sounds like it when we’re talking about kids, even those who are 22 or 18 (like my daughter is).

 

[wenrob]

I don’t think we ever said, “don’t drink” but never really offered alcohol either. What we did say was, “do not drink and drive. Do not get into a vehicle with anyone who’s been drinking. Call me, no matter what time, no questions asked.” We also set an example by being responsible drinkers. My DD is 22 going on 23 and to the best of my knowledge never binge drank. She’s not a huge drinker, a couple of cocktails on a night out, a beer at home now and then. I’d actually like to get hammered with her sometime, lol.

I don’t think it’s anything we did or didn’t do, it’s just the way she is. I think my DS will be the same. It’s the redhead I worry about in the future. She’s impulsive and easily swayed by her peers. We’ll see what strategy we’ll use when we get there I suppose.

 

[Hikergirl]

Sure we've served our teens alcohol in our home.

 

[superme80]

I wasn't allowed to. My mom hates alcohol. She still tries to lecture me on my "drinking, I'm 38 now. If my kids ask when teenagers I'm sure I will allow them some wine or a beer. The more alcohol became normal to me, the lass I drank.

 

[Poohforyou]

We haven't ever forbidden our daughter from trying something we were drinking. She really doesn't like it but i think not making it taboo has helped her not go crazy when she went off to college.

 

[ronandannette]

Not to be that annoying person, but only some provinces have 19 as the legal age limit. I live in a province wheee it’s 18.



So if your son has a girlfriend and she wanted to spend the night you’d say no way no how? I totally get your reasons for it and respect them, but I know you realize if they want to be..active..they can do it anywhere. Yes, morals and teachings are one thing but sometimes you get an itch and you just need it scratched.

I’m sorry if this is coming off as gross. It always sounds like it when we’re talking about kids, even those who are 22 or 18 (like my daughter is).

{{sigh}} Of course we do, and we don't harbor any illusions about being able to control the behavior of a grown adult - his choices are his own and he is well aware of where we stand. (He professes the same beliefs as we do, FWIW but at his stage in life that's 100% up to him.) If you want to get "really gross" I don't know if he's sexually active or not, nor do I feel the need to. I certainly never shared things like that with my own parents - more power to anybody who appreciates that sort of relationship with their kids.

We do unapologetically maintain the sanctity of our home though and mind-blowing as it may seem, no unmarried persons share a bed at our house. We've got the space to accommodate an unmarried couple separately and that's what we offer if the occasion arises. People of all worldviews are are very welcome and we've hosted a wide array of guests, all of whom willingly choose to respect our boundaries. Again, it's not about changing anything they do or don't do. It's strictly about living our own beliefs with integrity.

 

[kimblebee]

{{sigh}} Of course we do, and we don't harbor any illusions about being able to control the behavior of a grown adult - his choices are his own and he is well aware of where we stand. (He professes the same beliefs as we do, FWIW but at his stage in life that's 100% up to him.) If you want to get "really gross" I don't know if he's sexually active or not, nor do I feel the need to. I certainly never shared things like that with my own parents - more power to anybody who appreciates that sort of relationship with their kids.

We do unapologetically maintain the sanctity of our home though and mind-blowing as it may seem, no unmarried persons share a bed at our house. We've got the space to accommodate an unmarried couple separately and that's what we offer if the occasion arises. People of all worldviews are are very welcome and we've hosted a wide array of guests, all of whom willingly choose to respect our boundaries. Again, it's not about changing anything they do or don't do. It's strictly about living our own beliefs with integrity.

I wasn’t asking you to change your views, or even defend them really. I just know some parents here are way in denial.

I’m like you, I don’t want to know anything about that when it comes to my daughter. She knows how to be safe and knows she can ask me anything. I’d rather shave my head bald than know her ‘status’.

 

[Colleen27]

Yes, I have, I have also witnessed a few of them hungover after a night of partying (before and after reaching the legal drinking age). I don’t thing allowing underaged kids to consume alcohol at home prevents overindulging outside the home.

Yeah, this. Alcohol has never been taboo in our house. I don't drink much, but if one of the older kids asks to taste what I have or join me in a toast on NYE or have a glass of wine with a nice dinner, I've never said no. But I don't think that insulates them from doing the dumb things teens sometimes do. A lot of underage drinking is more about the peer group and social pressures than about the actual alcohol, and it isn't as though a kid who is allowed the occasional drink at home has less desire to fit in than anyone else his/her age.

 

[ronandannette]

Yeah, this. Alcohol has never been taboo in our house. I don't drink much, but if one of the older kids asks to taste what I have or join me in a toast on NYE or have a glass of wine with a nice dinner, I've never said no. But I don't think that insulates them from doing the dumb things teens sometimes do. A lot of underage drinking is more about the peer group and social pressures than about the actual alcohol, and it isn't as though a kid who is allowed the occasional drink at home has less desire to fit in than anyone else his/her age.

Totally. Not every jack-assed thing kids do is a backlash against stifling parents.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

True story, my dad got me drunk when I was a year old. He was an alcoholic. No kidding, right? He would leave a little bit in the bottle, and let me drink it. This is a story I heard my whole life. My mom was not aware he was doing it. It was New Year's Eve. I had a rocking horse. It was my Aunt who noticed I was drunk, because I couldn't stay on the rocking horse very well. OMG...she laid into my dad like there was no tomorrow. This was 1969. I was kid #8 and my sis was due in April. I know most of you will say that if that was you and your kid, you would have packed up and left. My mom had an 8th grade education and had 8.5 kids. They ended up with a total of 12 kids. Leaving was never an option for her.

To answer OP, no...we never served alcohol to our teenage children. I don't drink, and my husband only drinks occasionally when we are out, so we didn't have alcohol in the house.

 

[MrsDuck]

OP, you're 26 and married to a 40 year old? Dang. Must be some cougar!

 

[mom2rtk]

3/10

Dang. I'm having deja vu all over again.

 

[mom2rtk]

Must be related to Diswis, the 23 year old in settings who is 17 in posts and wants to go to Disney as a minor because they have spring break in February (and April) and school is already out for the summer.

OP, you have lived a pretty full life here on the DIS; married to a much older woman, raising a 15 year old, having gastric sleeve surgery in Mexico, subtle political statements with your favorite book...

Love summer vacation, lol. So entertaining when the kids start posting thinking they are funny.

And on the off chance this is actually real, yes, we have always let the teens drink with us. And as stated above, taking the novelty out of drinking, they never had any desire to binge drink at parties. They were usually the DD for their friends.

I will take my popcorn light butter, extra salt.

Or perhaps related to DanceswithDisney?

 

[Lilacs4Me]

We let DS18 have a drink of his own at a family wedding when he was 17, and have let him have a moderate amount of a drink here and there (glass of wine with Christmas Dinner, champagne for toasting New Years. etc). His younger teen siblings have had a sip or two of my drink here and there lately, just to taste it. DD almost always hates it, but DS likes it. We will have to watch that boy!

Conversations are on-going in our house about the responsible use of alcohol and we have already told them we are not opposed to them (lightly) drinking and talked about how to make it look like you are drinking along with everyone else when you are really just nursing a weak drink all night (good life lesson overall!). That conversation actually just came up after a family party a few weekends ago when DD observed that she has never seen DH or I drunk, but we always seem to drink at get-togethers. We explained how we we can have fun and feel good, but not go crazy.

We said that there really isn't any benefit or good that comes out of being falling down drunk and if they just want the tipsy feeling, it's easy to get after one drink or even a few sips. And of course, that they are ALWAYS to stay in control of themselves and their situation, and never drive a car if they have had even one sip of anything, and never EVER get into a car with someone else from a party even if that person says they didn't drink. We also remind them to understand the crowd they are with because if one person does something stupid, it puts the whole group in danger or trouble, and ALSO remind them that in our state, you can get a MIP ticket that goes on your driving record even if you are sitting on someone's couch and aren't even near a car when the police get there.

My kids (so far) aren't really the type to party hard, so we feel pretty good with our policy. This would be reviewed, however, if we felt we couldn't trust our kids to make good decisions or if they started hanging around with kids who we feel would get them into trouble by association.

 

[soccerdad72]

A little bit, sure. A little wine when we're having dinner and on one or two occasions, I've let my older son have a beer with me.

 

[3smithboys]

My oldest is now 20 almost 21. When he was 18 and went off to college, we would let him have a beer or two when he came home. He would have one when watching a sports game with his dad. We don’t drink a lot in our house. My husband is from England and was drinking at a much younger age than we do here. He hardly drinks, but doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

The rules we set for DS for his drinking anything when he came home was that if he had anything to drink he couldn’t drive anywhere that night, and if he had friends over then he couldn’t drink because we were not serving his underage friends. I’m not making that decision for another parent.