Grief Trip Sep?

[tenneycjt]

I am writing this post out of grief my beloved mother who was 84 suddenely passed on july15th. For several years we have been going to disneyland as our special place, and even when my dad was alive back to 1995. Our last trip was in the first week of may, she was is a wheelchair on oxygen, we had such a wonderful trip. She was more tired than on previous trips. WE did get DAS but we just did the rides she could stay in the wheelchair for, little mermaid, small world her favorite, Lincoln. FOr us disneyland was not about the rides but just enjoying each other' s company. I was her caregiver 24.7 but she was my best friend, In fact I was worried that she wasnt having a good time because she didnt want to ride much. So I asked if she was having a good time, she said oh yes, because we get to spend the day together, shopping staying at the grand together, we bought a sun hat at teh adventureland gift store and she adored that hat. She wore it everytime we went out after we came back. We had another trip planned for sept 25th because i wanted to always give her something to look forward too. i LOOK at teh pictures from just 2 month's ago and she looks so happy and good. Now I am debating whether to go in sept. It would be hard and that was our happy place. I would take her wheelchair with me as I cannot stop taking it in with me wherever i go i am so used to it. All our happy memories wereat disneyland. I miss and luv u mama. Love chris

 

[DisneylandFan22]

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I am happy that you can have those memories especially recent ones at a place you both loved. It sounds like she had a wonderful time just being with you. If September was too soon I would completely understand. I don’t think you should put any pressure on yourself in making the decision. Do what feels right, and if that ends up changing that is ok too.

 

[SOCALMouseMommy]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother was lucky to have such a caring and selfless son!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

These types of trips are always so personal. For some the memories become cathartic when going on a trip, a way to fondly look back in a different way but for others it's too much of a reminder.

While no one can answer it for you I may gently suggest it could be too soon if you can't realistically think to not have the wheelchair with you, that may just end up making you look at the wheelchair in grief but again no one can answer it for you.

If you do go is there a kind soul that would be willing to join you if possible (like park reservations being available)? Maybe someone that knew her even if not closely but just that could share a sort of understanding for the person your mom was and meant to you.

 

[shosh1530]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. It is wonderful that you had Disneyland as a special place together.

I love going to the parks with my own child, who turns 11 next week. I will count myself very lucky if I can still being doing special trips with him when I'm in my golden years. Your mom was lucky to have you and that time together!

From your post, it sounds like you might not be ready yet by September - but only you can decide! Even if you don't go then, I'm sure you'll find the right time to visit the parks and honor your mother.

 

[tenneycjt]

Thanks for all the advice, im leaning towards going, I got our tickets through get away today and they are already linked, how do i get her ticket unlinked,? i can always use it later. I just feel that it was a trip i pormised to her and she would be disaapointed if i dont go, I just miss her so much.

 

[tobikaye]

So, this hit me hard as my sister passed on June 28. She and I traveled together frequently, especially in the last 5 years. In fact, we were at WDW in May of this year and had a WDW/cruise trip planned for October. She was also with me for D23/DLR in 2019. I was also her care provider and we were together almost 24/7 other than my 2-3 days in the office especially after she was put on oxygen 24/7 in early 2020.

I had already planned my to go solo to D23 this September since she was told she couldn’t fly earlier this year. She was going to call and talk to me while I waited in lines and video chat with me while I was at the parks. I decided to still go and I know I at some point I will breakdown crying, but I know she would still want me to enjoy myself.

I can only offer my condolences and tell you that only you can decide if you can handle the trip. I do have a couple of places that I just cannot go yet and expect it to be a while.

 

[joseph821]

What a loving son you were. Your Mom loved you. Go on the trip. Leave her wheelchair but wear and bring the straw hat!!!

 

[NannyBeBe]

As a family, we go to DLR every two years. We had a lovely trip in the summer of 2016, not knowing that our precious granddaughter, just six years old, would be taken to Heaven a few months later as the result of a severe asthma attack. We debated going on our next trip, but because there were still other grandchildren, we decided to go. Of course we missed our beloved girl, but we had a happy time and were glad we went.
I would venture to say that your mom would tell you to go on your planned trip.

 

[lalasmama]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! I lost my mama 15 years ago, and I still remember that pain so vividly.

The last trip we had before her passing was an amazing visit 10 years before. It had been a fantastic trip, just a day, but so wonderful. I had a nearly 3yo little girl when she passed and she had been so excited to do the typical "Oregonians to So Cal" road trip when my daughter got a little earlier.

So, eventually my daughter turned 8 and it was time to go for her first visit. We took some time to talk about my mom and it was sad at times but still nice.

My last visit to the parks with my mama, she surprised me pretty big. I thought the Fairwell Tour of the MSEP wouldn't start until the week after we were there. But my auntie knew a performer in the parade and knew they were starting a few days before it was advertised to start. As we were leaving, she told me we should get an ice cream and eat it on the curb. Just a few minutes later the parade started. She was thrilled managing this surprise for me.

.... So, when the MSEP came back in the mid-2010s, I *needed* to go with my daughter. We got the dining package seating, then we're given extra pixie dust and put in the reserved seating benches.

I bawled the whole time. But it also felt like Mama was right there with us. It was one of those tough but healing times.

Personally if keep your trip. Know that you'll cry through the park, but you'll get to remember all your happy times with your mama in the parks.

Big hugs!

 

[BroadwayHermione5]

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss!

 

[Tasscrapper]

I wanted to add my condolences as well. I hope that when you do go (whenever that is) that you find the joy that was there with your mom and can remember the good times even though it may make you a little sad.

 

[RoseColored97]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Only you can know if it's too soon, but I would try to go. Even if you spend the trip relaxing, sitting on a bench, and taking in the sights and sounds all around you. I think that could bring healing. Whatever you decide, know that it is the right decision. Do not feel bad for feeling any certain way. Grief is a difficult process, but I hope that healing with come your way.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! I lost my mama 15 years ago, and I still remember that pain so vividly.

The last trip we had before her passing was an amazing visit 10 years before. It had been a fantastic trip, just a day, but so wonderful. I had a nearly 3yo little girl when she passed and she had been so excited to do the typical "Oregonians to So Cal" road trip when my daughter got a little earlier.

So, eventually my daughter turned 8 and it was time to go for her first visit. We took some time to talk about my mom and it was sad at times but still nice.

My last visit to the parks with my mama, she surprised me pretty big. I thought the Fairwell Tour of the MSEP wouldn't start until the week after we were there. But my auntie knew a performer in the parade and knew they were starting a few days before it was advertised to start. As we were leaving, she told me we should get an ice cream and eat it on the curb. Just a few minutes later the parade started. She was thrilled managing this surprise for me.

.... So, when the MSEP came back in the mid-2010s, I *needed* to go with my daughter. We got the dining package seating, then we're given extra pixie dust and put in the reserved seating benches.

I bawled the whole time. But it also felt like Mama was right there with us. It was one of those tough but healing times.

Personally if keep your trip. Know that you'll cry through the park, but you'll get to remember all your happy times with your mama in the parks.

Big hugs!

Your post brought a tear to my eye. I'm so glad you were able to have that experience of MSEP with your daughter. What an incredibly special memory.

 

[lalasmama]

Your post brought a tear to my eye. I'm so glad you were able to have that experience of MSEP with your daughter. What an incredibly special memory.

I've been so blessed to get to have the MSEP memories with my mama and then with my daughter and my husband. This last May we went with Grandson #3 and the moment Hubs found out that MSEP was still going on, he insisted that we do the dining package seating again so we could see it with Grandson #3, and recount how much his Great Gammy and Grandma (me) both loved the parade. Who knows-- maybe he'll be bringing his kids in 30 years and tell them about how much our family has always loved this parade. I have no doubt that our youngest daughter will be taking me to DLR every time MSEP comes back once she has kids. So, so very blessed!

 

[maleficent55]

I’m sorry for your loss.

Only will will know when you’re truly ready.
Listen to your heart.

Speaking from personal experience, I lost my dad in 2017. The last time I talked to him was on a cell phone call while I was at Disneyland in a tea cup. For me, going on the tea cups is cathartic and special and I really FEEL him there now. My first trip back to the parks after losing him was a good positive thing for me.

 

[tenneycjt]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! I lost my mama 15 years ago, and I still remember that pain so vividly.

The last trip we had before her passing was an amazing visit 10 years before. It had been a fantastic trip, just a day, but so wonderful. I had a nearly 3yo little girl when she passed and she had been so excited to do the typical "Oregonians to So Cal" road trip when my daughter got a little earlier.

So, eventually my daughter turned 8 and it was time to go for her first visit. We took some time to talk about my mom and it was sad at times but still nice.

My last visit to the parks with my mama, she surprised me pretty big. I thought the Fairwell Tour of the MSEP wouldn't start until the week after we were there. But my auntie knew a performer in the parade and knew they were starting a few days before it was advertised to start. As we were leaving, she told me we should get an ice cream and eat it on the curb. Just a few minutes later the parade started. She was thrilled managing this surprise for me.

.... So, when the MSEP came back in the mid-2010s, I *needed* to go with my daughter. We got the dining package seating, then we're given extra pixie dust and put in the reserved seating benches.

I bawled the whole time. But it also felt like Mama was right there with us. It was one of those tough but healing times.

Personally if keep your trip. Know that you'll cry through the park, but you'll get to remember all your happy times with your mama in the parks.

Big hugs!thank u fo rsharing

When we went last december we got the dining package for teh christmas parade, and my mom enjoyed it so much, thank u fo rsharing

 

[tenneycjt]

So, this hit me hard as my sister passed on June 28. She and I traveled together frequently, especially in the last 5 years. In fact, we were at WDW in May of this year and had a WDW/cruise trip planned for October. She was also with me for D23/DLR in 2019. I was also her care provider and we were together almost 24/7 other than my 2-3 days in the office especially after she was put on oxygen 24/7 in early 2020.

I had already planned my to go solo to D23 this September since she was told she couldn’t fly earlier this year. She was going to call and talk to me while I waited in lines and video chat with me while I was at the parks. I decided to still go and I know I at some point I will breakdown crying, but I know she would still want me to enjoy myself.

I can only offer my condolences and tell you that only you can decide if you can handle the trip. I do have a couple of places that I just cannot go yet and expect it to be a while.

This is so similar to me because my mom was on oxygen too, being caregiver is hard but such a joy.

 

[DL1WDW2]

I could have written that first post … it has been over 10 years and I still tell my mom to wear her seatbelt in the car and I hold her hand while walking down Main Street. She will always be with me at Disneyland & DisneyWorld. Forever

 

[tenneycjt]

I got up this morning very sad yesterday was 3 weeks since she passed. I just got her ashes home. I had a minnie mouse necklace made that can hold her ashes. I was a little discouraged because not many had responded to my post. Than I opened this up and so many inspiring stories. I almost feel like mom is giving me a message to go. I know it will be bittersweet. All of my pictures of her are almost at disneyland. I take her straw hat and wheelchair with me everywhere.Thank yyou everyone for giving me some comfort in thie very difficult time.

 

[AJA55]

Hello Chris. I know where you are coming from. My mother who was 88, passed Halloween 2020. Almost two years later and it still hurts. Just not as intense. She was my travel companion, sole sister, first Disney Bounder, one half of an intense people watching pair, expert drinking, and eating buddy and my best friend. Although her passing was not sudden, I too was her care giver 24/7. In the Spring of 2019, she celebrated her 87th birthday at Disneyland, where she exclaimed that it was her best birthday ever! Even with being in a wheelchair. When we got back from Disneyland that year, we talked about the next Disney adventure, a Fall 2020 at WDW trip. We subsequently rented points from a DIS member. I always had a trip planed somewhere so we had something to look forward to. A week before we left, she went into the hospital, after three days she was released to go home, and was put on hospice. She passed peacefully at home thanks to the wonderful hospice people. WDW Fall vacation long story short, the nice owner moved the ressie out as far as he could to November to accommodate us…that turned into just me. Although this was a use or loose scenario, I did have insurance. But I decided to go. And go by myself. I have a loner personality and needed the time to grieve. I’m glad I went. Yes, I was the crazy lady that was ugly crying when entering mom’s favorite park EPCOT and I may not remember much of that visit, but I’m glad I went. Go, enjoy and grieve.

{{ Hugs }}