so i had a bad week last week. i got sick, i was tired, i spent the whole week with the flu, and we had no food in the house (ie, no real food, lots of canned/frozen food) and since i had a fever & was exhausted, i couldn't be bothered doing a grocery shop.
we got takeaway a lot. and everything tasted like cardboard. but that didn't stop me from eating it.
so. since i can't trust myself with food and portion sizes right now, i am going back to the one thing that has worked for me always.
lite n easy. so simple. easy. convenient. when i do lite n easy, i'm not hungry. i don't think about food. i don't obsess. i don't crave. and the weight usually shifts pretty nicely. so our delivery is on tuesday, meaning we start tuesday night
so happy about this.
went the lite n easy website to order, no problems. they have their success story page, which includes some guy who lost 60kg in a year. that's less than i want to lose, but it shows it is doable. he had a link to an inspirational youtube, which then sent me on a downward spiral of youtube videos of massive weight loss before/after shots etc. and i discovered a tlc/lifetime show called 'my 600 lb life' -- it chronicles 4 people over the space of 4 or 5 years, who were all over 600 lbs (~275 kg), some by a little (601), some by a lot (675). all underwent bariatric surgery to reduce the size of their stomachs, and all underwent skin reduction surgery along the way.
omg. it was horrendous. and heartbreaking. and inspiring. and motivational. and confronting. and just omg. it challenged me. it inspired me. it moved me. it made me appreciate what i have in my life and reinforced my goals to lose weight and just omg. some of the stories they tell and the things they did. every one of them struggled. it was truly grotesque at times. but the scary part of it was i could see myself in some of their comments. about their attitutes. and their perceptions. and their doubts and their fears and their denial. i see all of that in myself, and it scares me. it scares me really badly. i am nowhere near 600lb. and i am now determined to make sure that i am dealing with this disorder to ensure that i never, ever, ever get within spitting distance of being overweight again.