Forced Secret...tough times

[BlueStarryHat]

I'm sorry to hear about your Father-in-law. This is a wonderful thing you're doing, and I can't add anything to the great suggestions that are already here. I took my solo trip to WDW seven months after losing my mother; it was truly a balm for my soul.

 

[figmentswife]

Is there any way to maybe get her father to write a special note to her? Something to "take him" along also. Maybe you could help him order flowers to be waiting in the room or a balloon waiting for her to release?

I know someone who did this for a friend and it was a very special surprise for the living loves one to hear from parted parent months after death.

 

[cab0ad]

Is there any way to maybe get her father to write a special note to her? Something to "take him" along also. Maybe you could help him order flowers to be waiting in the room or a balloon waiting for her to release?

I know someone who did this for a friend and it was a very special surprise for the living loves one to hear from parted parent months after death.

love this idea.

I don't have any good suggestions but I wanted to let you know I was sorry for your current struggles. My family and I lost a pregnancy 25 weeks in and we were completely devastated. We decided afterwards to take my son to Disney as a "cheer me up" for him (this was about 4 weeks after the loss) and I'm so glad we did. didn't think I'd be able to enjoy myself at all but it really was a good way to relieve sadness/stress. This will be a good thing for your family.

 

[Wendybird55]

I am so sorry for all your family has been going through. My prayers are with all of you. I think it's a wonderful thing you are planning for your family and after so much sorrow and stress I'm sure this vacation will be much needed by all.

You know your wife best...I think the surprise it great, but to tell you the truth, as a woman with kids who has had some tough times as well, a one-day notice may not be the best way to surprise your wife. I'm sure it will take a long time for her to emotionally heal from all of this and maybe one more thing where she has NO control what-so-ever (though something good) may not get a totally postiive affect. I don't know, but I'm thinking I would want a day or so to at least pack what I want for myself and make sure I have all things I need in order. It's hard to explain, but I think a bit more notice for your wife may be better...plus she may also want to share in the surprise for your children.

This is just my thought based on nothing more than my own gut...Again, I think this is an amzaing and wonderful thing you are doing for your family and it is obvious how much you all love and care for eachother. However you plan to tell your family i wish you all the most amazing trip ever and the needed stength to get through this difficult time.

Oh, and one suggestion for trip is a 2hour fishing excursion...we've done it twice and are planning another one for this August...and we love t/ My son has a great time because you tend to catch alot of fish. We take it from YC (10am) and have fished in WS, in fron of DHS and by the EPCOT resorts. It's relaxing and fun. If you're interested there is usually a 20% off coupon in the Birbaum book.

 

[McDISer]

If you want to do the Illumination Cruise there is a thread on here where you can sign up and try to share the cruise. Otherwise it is very expensive.

Sorry about your F-I-L.

 

[xipotec]

As always, DIS community is a real wonderful place.

The point about surprising her the day before is noted. Perhaps at the start of the month? 3 weeks out?

Spent some time with my FIL today. He is slipping away quickly.

Thanks everyone! More suggestion are welcome. I am doing a few more ressies tonight.

 

[Jenscruise]

I lost my MIL last year at 63 years young. Short 3 month pancreatic battle. I'm sorry. I definitely say give a few weeks notice. It will let her have something to look forward to! Anticipation is part of the fun.

 

[fla4fun]

I am so sorry your family is going through this. I've been in those shoes three times. I can remember those days of being torn between wishing a loved one wasn't suffering anymore and wanting to hold on to them as long as I could. Each time I went on a WDW trip afterward in order to sort of mentally and emotionally rebalance, and it was just what I needed.

Just be prepared for plenty of emotions. Things that might normally just bring a tear to the eye may bring on full scale waterworks. Fortunately, since Disney does such a good job of tugging at the heartstrings, no one really give you a second glance. Screaming on the thrill rides is another great way to get rid of that pent up emotional energy.

Also, don't feel guilty about having fun and moving on. That can be a hard one sometimes.

I think it's great that you will have this trip waiting in the wings. It really doesn't matter what you do while you're there - just going and spending time together is the important thing.

 

[AntePrincess]

I'm sorry I don't have much to add since it's been so long since we've been to WDW ourselves, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your impending loss and I think your plan is a wonderful way of making the best of a hard situation.

I'm with everyone else about splurging on a few things like spa treatments or a special cake or flowers, just to feel special and alive. Personally, I'd book the Spirit of Aloha show if you're at the Poly. It's special and it's a nice way to wind down a day, with little travel.

Good luck, I hope the transition goes as smoothly as possible for all of you.

 

[kappyfamily]

We did a carriage ride at night at Fort Wilderness. It was so peaceful! My kids were 12 and 7 when we did it and they still talk about that ride. You could do it after a nice dinner at wilderness lodge then take the boat over to the campgrounds for your carriage ride. Its such a nice thing you are doing, have a wonderful time!

 

[karen l]

I'm very sorry for your family & wish you strength & peace in the coming months. I planned a trip a year after my DH passed away from cancer & it was exactly what we needed. One of our favorite activities was a night at Cirque. The show is fantastic for all ages. My youngest DS was 8 the first time we saw it - we're seeing it again this year - he's 18 now & looking forward to going again.
There are also some great tours - we're trying the Wild Africa Trek for the first time this year. Hope planning your trip helps ease the stress & pain you're experiencing right now.

 

[think-like-tink]

I have no wise words to offer. I am very sorry to hear about your FIL. Cancer is awful.

 

[wrighter]

I am so very sorry to hear about your family's sad battle. If I were in your wife's shoes, I can only hope my own DH would be as thoughtful as you are and plan something like this. What you are doing is a wonderful thing.

I don't have much to add in the way of special activities, as the pps have all offered wonderful ideas. (I personally really love the spa idea.) But I do agree that perhaps your wife would like some time to prepare ahead of time. Maybe she'll need this uplifting news a month before the trip, or maybe you'll want to wait until the week before. My recommendation would be to think of how you might like to tell her - a small box with some Disney jewelry inside it? A small Mickey something-or-other? Just something personal to her. Whatever it is, wrap it up and hide it somewhere. You'll know when she needs this news - and you'll be able to give her the gift when that moment comes.

Best wishes for you and your family in the weeks and months ahead.

 

[DragonMomma]

My recommendation would be to think of how you might like to tell her - a small box with some Disney jewelry inside it? A small Mickey something-or-other? Just something personal to her. Whatever it is, wrap it up and hide it somewhere. You'll know when she needs this news - and you'll be able to give her the gift when that moment comes.

I love this idea. Perfect.

 

[Vickilynn42]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are all going through this, and I think your surprise is wonderful! I hope you are all able to go and enjoy this trip to the fullest, and find some way to celebrate the life of your FIL. In May of 2010, we arrived to Disney World for a 7 day trip, only to receive a call that evening that my FIL had a heart attack. The family told us to stay at the park until there was a change in his condition, which of course made it very hard to enjoy anything. The morning of our second day, we received a call to head home, that things were bad. We left HS devastated, and he passed before we made it home. We went back in October of that year, and dedicated our trip to him. We went to the exact spot in the park, where we received the phone call, and took a family picture of us all smiling and celebrating. And we gave that photo out to all of the family. It helped somewhat to heal a bad memory. I pray this is a happy and healing trip for all of you. Your story brought me to tears and I wish you all the very best.

 

[kristilew]

First, I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. You are so great to be planning for happy times down the road for your family.

I'm sure since you are the one planning the trip, you are not anywhere near as clueless as my DH would be about what it takes to get the family out of town. You've probably already thought of this, but just in case it's usually your wife who handles it: be sure to stop the paper and the mail, arrange for pet sitters if you have pets, pay any bills that would come due while you're gone, refill RXs that you need to take with you, and make sure the laundry is all done a day or two before you need to pack.

As for park tips, I'd say to work in time for plenty of family photo ops. One thing that happens when a mom loses a parent is she wants to make sure her kids will have plenty of memories of her down the road.

Good luck both with the surprise and with the next few difficult weeks.

 

[RedHeadedFairy]

The point about surprising her the day before is noted. Perhaps at the start of the month? 3 weeks out?

(((HUGS))) for your family in this difficult time. I lost my dad to cancer in a similar, fast-moving way so I understand how shocking it can feel.

As a woman, I would like 1-2 weeks to prepare for a surprise like this. I'd need a day or 2 to think about packing before getting to it & I usually have things I like to do before a Dis trip, haircut, pedicure, maybe I need a new kind of hat or sunscreen, etc. If I had things planned for during the trip, I'd need time to rearrange those obligations.

But I'd be elated that my DH had taken the time to make the travel arrangements, reservations, etc. & who understood how healing a trip like that could be after such a hard time.

 

[heidibilotti]

So sorry for the sadness. I am sure that when the time comes for Disney it will be a blessing. One thing my family loved doing is the pirate and pals fireworks voyage. It leaves from the contemporary you get to see the electric light parade from the boat and also wishes. They pipe the music onto the boats you can meet a couple of characters and they have plenty of snacks it would be a nice time for the family. Prayers to you and your family

 

[xipotec]

Thanks guys! Such great suggestions!

My recommendation would be to think of how you might like to tell her - a small box with some Disney jewelry inside it? A small Mickey something-or-other? Just something personal to her. Whatever it is, wrap it up and hide it somewhere. You'll know when she needs this news - and you'll be able to give her the gift when that moment comes.

Stealing this idea.

Mostly my big issue now is the planning. Normally i am an super planner, but my heart isnt in that place yet. So if you all can think of anything should be doing now , its appreciated.

Making 1 ressie per day is all i have energy for.

 

[ajasmom]

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. I know what you are going through. I lost both of my parents to cancer at 52 & 60 years young. I would have truly appreciated a surprise trip after the long trying months of constant care. You are a wonderful husband for planning this for you family, but I would recommend surprising your wife 2- 3 weeks prior to leaving. its still a huge surprise but she would have time to prepare and enjoy the surprise on the kids faces the day when you both tell the children. Otherwise she would miss that dealing with her own surprise. It is a very trying time and am deeply sorry you have to got through this life experience