Again, thanks everyone for your support and suggestions on how to handle my situation with my MOH like a rational, non-bridezilla type of bride. I really appreciate it. I'm really glad to hear that things are going well with your BM Goldeelox9, she sounds like my wonderful BM. The heart to heart talk idea was great Ember, PrincessAngie30, and Tabetha... it was what we needed to do no matter how hard it it was to actually start that conversation. It's also really sad to see how many of all of you have gone through some BM issues too. LvTinkerbell, good luck with your situation with your former-BM. Also, how weird of a coincidence is it, mickeyluv'r, that your BM signed up for a conference too for your wedding?
I started the "conversation" with a text message to her on Saturday asking when exactly she was going out of town in a few weeks, so I had a timeline the absolute last date I could discuss my concerns about her coming to the wedding or not/if she really wanted to come with her. I was hoping that she would take the high road, like you said you did Hope1826.
So, after much deliberating and worrying all of last weekend about the best way to approach this subject with MOH, I finally decided that I would have lunch with her the upcoming Thursday. I live in Philly... so cue the Rocky Music... I mentally prepared myself for what I was quite convinced would be the fight of the century. I planned out exactly what I was going to say... a lot of which would be more or less paraphrased from a lot of your responses. I especially liked your idea antibride, of having her read something at the ceremony if she didn't want to be MOH.
Then, she called me on Monday out of the blue around lunch time. She wanted to go to a free lunch that our school was having for graduation. We are both grad students, so finding free food that isn't Ramen noodles, then calling people is the utmost sign of friendship. So, naturally, I was confused. I accepted her invitation to lunch and figured that I would have to have our conversation a little early, which was ok. And BM, who also loves free food, wasn't coming. Kinda sketchy!
I think that my lovely, wonderful, fabulous BM (who may indeed be my fairy godmother in disguise) worked a little bit of pre-wedding magic for me with MOH.
Finally the subject came up, and I mentioned, quite awkwardly, that "I need to finish planning the wedding and make arrangements for the limo and the flowers in FL, and I wasn't sure what the whole "I may going to not only going to another hemisphere, but also another continent on your wedding day" thing was about... soo, if the conference was really THAT important, then she should go and not worry about coming to FL at all. Not really as articulate as I would have hoped. After that all came out as one big sentence, she said "Well your wedding is much more important to me than the conference and I wouldn't miss it." I was floored. Was this the same person I had talked to a little over a week before? I asked her if she was sure, and brought up all of the reasons why I thought she might not be sure. She's sure, she'll be there. I'm sure it will all work out (but keep your fingers crossed for me, so I don't end up with a situation like DisneyBride41108).
What exactly did BM say to fix all of this?? Does all it really take is faith and trust and a little bit of magical BM dust?
And, just so all you know, if MOH changes her mind again, I won't stress too much. Instead, I'll be hosting my own disboard contest to find a new MOH. It will be just like when they took the glass slipper around to all of the maidens in the kingdom in Cinderella, except this will be with a lovely burgandy dress.
Her response was great and if your BM did warm her up, YAY for BM! SHe did a great job!
