There's a Youtuber I watch who talks sometimes about his "quest for positivity." The general idea that he talks about is that we all have things happen in our lives that we can't control...bad stuff happens to us. But we CAN choose how we respond to it.
I've known many people who stigmatize mental health issues. I don't want to deal with that when I already have to deal with issues being physically disabled.
Anybody who you're friends with who would stigmatize a mental health issue is not a very thoughtful person. Maybe you should stop listening to and spend less time with individuals like that. Surround yourself with people who will really support you, not mock you or make fun of you for a what is essentially a medical condition.
I'm going to get on my soap box here for a sec. What I'm about to say is not meant to be hurtful to you or anyone here.
Almost 12 years ago when my 2nd child was born, I went through a bout of postpartum depression. It started 2 weeks after my YDD was born. It was really rough. I felt terrible about it. Loved YDD with all my heart, but had no idea how to deal with the postpartum depression and anxiety. I had intrusive thoughts of harming the baby and I felt awful about it. Then I'd feel like I was going out of my mind because I couldn't stop the "tape" in my head. I had panic attacks, too. It was bad.
I decided to seek psychiatric help. I went to a psychiatrist who my midwife recommended...someone who was experienced in helping women dealing with postpartum mental health problems. That physician put me on a low dose antidepressant that made a HUGE difference. That physician also helped me get connected with a therapist in the area who ran a postpartum depression & anxiety support group once a week.
So I started to go to that. Even if I went in my pajamas and looked like hell. That was a lifesaver. I cannot describe how validating it was to hear directly from other people just like me who were describing the exact same thing that I myself was also going through. I finally felt like somebody really understood what I was going through. Somebody else "got it."
With something like that, you don't really truly "get it" unless you've been through it.
By YDD's 1st birthday, I had weaned off of the antidepressants and everything was fine.
Was I "weak" for seeking out help? I mean, hey...I should have just been able to "suck it up" and "deal with it," right? After all, I **WANTED** to be pregnant and have a baby! So what the hell did *I* have to complain about? Just "be strong" and deal with it, right?
I will never regret seeking out help during that super stressful time in my life. I **HAD** to do something. Something **HAD** to change because my situation was getting worse, not better.
You know what would have been really dumb, foolish, and stupid? To not get any help at all. To suffer through it. To try and tough it out.
It would have been equally stupid for me to just continue doing more of the same, expecting a different result. That's kind of where you seem to be right now. You're stuck. Maybe you came here because you're looking for help and you don't know where to turn. I have been down that road myself and I and several others here are all telling you the same thing.
With much love and respect, if you were one of my dear friends or family members, right now, I would be telling you to get over yourself and go get some mental health assistance from a professional. I'd tell you to quit feeling sorry for yourself. I'd tell you to knock it off with constantly comparing yourself to your friends. I'd probably also tell you stay off of social media like Instagram, which tends to paint a picture that everyone is living a fabulous carefree life. I'd also tell you to stop the martyr and the pity party because the violin bow isn't working anymore. Then I'd offer to help you find a reputable mental health professional and support group in your area. If I lived near you, I'd offer to drive you to the appointments if you needed that. And I'd give you a hug.
The choice is yours. Your future is in your hands. Whoever in your life it is who is putting ideas in your head that getting mental health help means you're weak and less of a man....that person is a flippant ignorant jerk. REAL men recognize when they need help with something. A REAL man has the guts to turn the corner and change something about himself if he isn't happy with it.
You've probably already done this many times in your life. You just can't see it. The problem is not external to you. The problem is between your ears. You can do something about that. Lousy stuff happens to people all the time. Not getting selected to be a groomsman in your buddy's wedding is one of those things. But YOU can choose how you react to that. Nobody else has control over that. Only you do.
