Ever have a doctor treat you like an idiot?

[unrequited23]

3. My OBGYN asked me was I sure I wanted my tubes tied, "no more babies, ever..." I was 39 years old and 8 months into a pregnancy that had been absolutely miserable. I think I was old enough to make that decision for myself.

I was planning on a VBAC with my second child, but knew there was a 30% chance I would need a repeat c-section. I asked to be pre-authorized for a tubal ligation in the case of a section. I was asked how I would feel if the baby died.

 

[Boopuff]

My DH was on a work trip, he messed up his knee, badly. He couldn't walk. Got home, went to doc. The doctor started by saying "physical therapy" Now my DH couldn't walk! His knee was swollen. The doc wouldn't prescribe an MRI. Went elsewhere... guess what, torn meniscus. Left that doc.

 

[Jennasis]

Not the doctor but someone in the medical/billing office.

I do a lot of virtual "zoom" appointments. There was an issue with my online account so I had to call the customer service line to sort it out. For some reason the website kept deleting out some of the insurance info I had put in so my appointments kept getting charged incorrectly. The person I was speaking to said that my husband's DOB had gotten deleted somehow from the account (the insurance is through is work). No problem, I give her his birthday. She demands to SPEAK TO MY HUSBAND. I was like "what? Why?" She tells me it's his insurance so she needs his permission to change anything on the account. It's MY account, set up through our insurance provider that gives access to these virtual doctor's appointments. DH has his own account.

I explained to the agent that she did NOT need to speak to my husband. What if I didn't want him to know I was seeking medical treatment? She kept going on about how she needed his permission. I have never once in our marriage needed my husband to give his permission or information at ANY doctor's appointment. Luckily, DH was home, so I made him speak to her just to get the nonsense over with, then I called back and asked for a supervisor and told her what happened. She was mortified (particularly when I mentioned violation of privacy) and apologized profusely, as did my doctor when I had my next appointment with her virtually and told her what happened.

 

[Kennywood]

The worst case I can recall was about 45 years ago. My brother was dating a girl whose mother had to be rushed to the hospital. You could tell things were really bad. We waited with my brother's girlfriend while the doctor worked. Eventually, he came out and said, "She's dead" and just walked away.

We've never forgotten how cold hearted he was toward someone losing her mother.

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

I was planning on a VBAC with my second child, but knew there was a 30% chance I would need a repeat c-section. I asked to be pre-authorized for a tubal ligation in the case of a section. I was asked how I would feel if the baby died.

ugh, that's awful.

Don't even get me started on having to have my husband's permission to do so.

 

[Robbie Cottam]

My wife is in health care compliance….
My Dr.’s come pre screened

Also with two exceptions all my DR.s are woman.

In my limited experience they have better bed side manner, take the time explain things in a way I can understand it and don’t seem to be judgmental…… or if they are the know how to hide it

I stopped seeing male practitioners after “ we failed to go deep enough clearing out a cavity” and now “I” needed a root cannel.

Got a new dentist and never had another cavity ….

 

[DisneyHardin]

Also with two exceptions all my DR.s are woman.

In my limited experience they have better bed side manner, take the time explain things in a way I can understand it and don’t seem to be judgmental…… or if they are the know how to hide it

My DH has quite a few medical issues that require him to see specialists - he refuses to see male doctors anymore because they brushed off so many of his concerns over the years.

 

[luv2cheer92]

My DH was on a work trip, he messed up his knee, badly. He couldn't walk. Got home, went to doc. The doctor started by saying "physical therapy" Now my DH couldn't walk! His knee was swollen. The doc wouldn't prescribe an MRI. Went elsewhere... guess what, torn meniscus. Left that doc.

To be fair, PT is most often the recommended first treatment for a torn meniscus, yes even if they can't walk. It can often times be enough to help it heal without surgery. Not saying that was necessarily the best option, but definitely an expected recommendation.

Saying this as a DPT.

 

[Robbie Cottam]

My DH has quite a few medical issues that require him to see specialists - he refuses to see male doctors anymore because they brushed off so many of his concerns over the years.

It pains my Y but there are a lot of things women are just better at….. Doctoring is one of them.

 

[Southernmiss]

My endocrinologist of over 15 years retired. I picked a new one from the phone book.

On my first visit I brought copies of my records and told the NP my history with the other doctor and my thyroid condition and what treatments worked best for me.

He came in and told me he was much different than my former doctor, would not treat me the same way and in fact, was straightening out all her other patients that she had messed up.

I left there in an ugly cry. Canceled future appointments and started a
seeing a functional medicine practitioner the next day for my Hashimoto's.

Best thing I ever did as she has me feeling even better than my 1st doctor did.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

so many times, and it's usually male doctors, they don't listen! The time that my son got discharged from the ER because he was "too young" to be having heart problems (he was 17 at the time) and he told us a "real" heart patient was coming to the ER so they needed the room, that doctor was just a condecending jerk about it. I was royally peeved when it happened, but then the next morning (a Saturday morning) our family doctor got the report from the ER and called us and told us to go back immediately because my son was legitimately having cardiac issues. I feel like cardiac symptoms should never be brushed off by medical professionals!

Came to find out that the first ER doctor sent us home because there was no cardiologist on staff that night to read the EKGs, but his EKG was sent out at some point overnight and read by an actual cardiologist, whose report was then sent to our family doctor. Not that I ever want to spend the night in the ER but this was during the height of Covid and because the first doctor sent us home we had to go back and sit in the nasty ER full of sick people for the second night in a row when it could have been avoided if they had LISTENED to my son's symptoms and actually read his EKG!

And after I found all this out I felt real bad for the poor guy who was having a heart attack who was being brought to the same ER. I hope he was ok and I hope the hospital called in a cardiologist for him. In the end, my son's cardiac issues turned out to be something that can be managed but no one knew that at the time and his EKGs that were done on that first trip to the ER showed tachycardia and bradycardia and some other type of arrythmia that I can't remember now, and mitral valve prolapse, and he lost consciousness at home and in the ER because of it, but according to that doctor he wasn't a "real" heart patient?

 

[Neapolitan Ice Cream]

Gosh, there's a lot of hurt here. I'm really sorry you guys have had to go through all this

 

[Colleen27]

I'm fat and female, so it kind of feels like a given that doctors are going to be awful at listening and taking my issues seriously. I think my favorite was the doctor I saw literally just for a referral to my eye specialist, because our insurance had changed and the new company wanted a referral from my primary care doc (and of course my previous one wasn't in network with the new plan) before I could see the specialist whose care I'd been under for a year or so at that point. I walked in and explained both the situation and my eye condition, which is genetically linked and chronic/relapsing, thinking it would be a quick in-and-out and I could schedule my next eye checkup. He stopped short of questioning my diagnosis but suggested that might not need ongoing care if I lost weight. Well, gee, what a helpful suggestion that had nothing to do with the reason I came in. I can't imagine why the specialists I saw thought to withhold such great advice, just because there's no documented connection between weight and the problem I have.

Ironically, Dr. Health-Lecture has since lost his practice following a DEA investigation into his opioid prescriptions.

 

[Colleen27]

I was planning on a VBAC with my second child, but knew there was a 30% chance I would need a repeat c-section. I asked to be pre-authorized for a tubal ligation in the case of a section. I was asked how I would feel if the baby died.

ugh, that's awful.

Don't even get me started on having to have my husband's permission to do so.

I didn't realize until I found myself in a close-knit group of women online that those things aren't universal. My doc went through the same questions, and wanted DH to join us for the conversation, when I requested a just-in-case preauthorization for a tubal.

 

[Kennywood]

It pains my Y but there are a lot of things women are just better at….. Doctoring is one of them.

Excuse me, but how in the world is this not sexist? If I were to say the same thing but say that there are lots of things that men are just better at, all hell would break loose.

Why is it okay for one group to disparage another group, but not for the disparaged group to return the favor? If something is wrong, it's wrong for everyone, regardless of gender, race, etc.

 

[Robbie Cottam]

Excuse me, but how in the world is this not sexist? If I were to say the same thing but say that there are lots of things that men are just better at, all hell would break loose.

Why is it okay for one group to disparage another group, but not for the disparaged group to return the favor? If something is wrong, it's wrong for everyone, regardless of gender, race, etc.

It is not sexist because I’m of the group being “ disparage”, that was the “y” reference!
As in XY…..

Am I giving woman the respect and recognition they are due by admitting there are something they are better at.

If you would like I can cite a dozen different scientific, peer reviewed articles.

Or you can just admit there are a lot of stereotypical male rolls that women tend to be better at.

And to your point IF a women were to say man are better than women at ..:… and could back it of articulable fact we would be in the same boat.

 

[daisy2013]

I had a pediatrician yell at me and threaten to have my 6 month old daughter discharged from the hospital where i had brought her after her lips turned blue and she was having difficulty breathing due to RSV. The hospitalist stepped in and told him she was her patient now and would not agree to discharge. My daughter remained in the hospital for another week.

Not a doctor but a nurse who made comments about my weight gain at a prenatal appointment and grilled me about what I ate and did not believe me when I told her. I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia a week later and my weight gain was water not actual weight.

 

[china mom]

I had a nurse one time talk down to me. She was getting my list of medications and when I finished she said something to the effect of "no birth control?" I said "no" and she proceeded to make some extremely pudgy comment. Uh, hellooo. I am married, at that point, childless, hoping to start a family. Why on earth would I be on birth control and how is lack of it irresponsible? And to ad to that, had fertility issues so why would I need it?

 

[C&Jx2]

I'm a nurse so yes lol

As a patient yes. I also tend to panic at the doctor so I do look like an idiot...

 

[gardenrooms]

I am so sorry so many of you have had such disheartening experiences. My most recent experience was with doctors talking about "my" paramedics as though they were idiots. I was taken to the hospital with a serious head injury and because the paramedics were afraid they felt a depression in my skull they took me to a trauma center. The doctors (and I believe some nurses too) were making all kinds of disparaging comments about their incompetence (my skull was fine) as they worked on me. What they were saying was very unprofessional as was acting like I wasn't even there. And I'm sorry, the paramedics aren't paid the big bucks to make that determination. I would much rather they erred on the side of caution. Bless all the paramedics out there, who have always been caring and reassuring to me. (The doctor was cute with me when he communicated directly with me, but his earlier behavior showed his true colors.)