Ever canceled a trip because kids didn't earn it?

[robinb]

No, IMO cancelling a trip because your kids are not listening to you is overkill. The punishment DOES NOT fit the crime.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

A trip like that is a treat. Sometimes things happen and we don't get to do the fun stuff. You don't owe them a vacation, and hopefully this will reinforce the concept that when members of the family slack off everyone is affected. I'm not just talking about the vacation, but it's no fun having to keep after children to do their chores. I think we parents (me, included) can learn from the parents that teach their kids that helping around the house isn't a favor to us, but it's just part of every family member's responsibility.

 

[wilbret]

Nope. Trips and family time are fleeting. By next week, they'll be grown and the house will be quiet and clean all of the time.

I call no fair in springing a trip today and cleaning expectations today on them without warning.

We coached our kids and encouraged. Not bribed and took away.

And they are fine, upstanding young adults.

Good for you. I think we’ll be ok. The kids have daily chores. These chores weren’t randomly sprung on them. In fact, they are written on a board clear as day should they have a memory lapse. They simply neglected to do them for days, thinking there was no consequence. Well, there are.

They finished their chores and we are at the lake for the evening. They aren’t going out robbing any banks.

 

[Southernmiss]

No, IMO cancelling a trip because your kids are not listening to you is overkill. The punishment DOES NOT fit the crime.

Yep. We instilled family clean up and project times. My kids are hard workers and often commended by how diligent and hard they work. Now ages 25, 22, 20, and 17. 17 year old is a girl and outworked her peers on a mission trip this summer.

When they were younger...Want to eat the meal that's ready? Pick up today's toys, cups, shoes, trash. Before bed, pick up this evenings items. Put homework and book bag by the door. We kept things from stacking up with daily pick ups.

With 6 of us in the house, we each had our own color cup. Easy to find your own cup and not use a new one because you were afraid of picking up someone eles/couldn't remember where you left yours.

Weekly, cleaned bathrooms, dusted, vacuumed, mopped as a family. If the kids bickered, we added a task they had to work together to get done without arguing. Argue with this task, get another.


Big family outings were announced weeks ahead with reminders of tasks to be done given along the way.

No all getting bent out of shape because kids didn't snap to it to get tasks done for a vacation starting that day promptly by noon.

 

[kdonnel]

Nope. I don’t punish myself while punishing the kids.

 

[J'aime Paris]

You can't believe how often these kids develop the need to POOP as soon we ask them to do their chores.

My DD has used the POOP excuse before! Kids!

 

[ronandannette]

Good for you. I think we’ll be ok. The kids have daily chores. These chores weren’t randomly sprung on them. In fact, they are written on a board clear as day should they have a memory lapse. They simply neglected to do them for days, thinking there was no consequence. Well, there are.

They finished their chores and we are at the lake for the evening. They aren’t going out robbing any banks.

Apparently not all of us, but rest assured many of us have come to a point with our kids where we have to get honest with ourselves. For whatever reason, we've let the requirement that they obey us (whether it's chores or anything else) slide a little over time until it becomes apparent they feel at liberty to not do what they're asked. Drawing a line is never easy and depending on your kids, they may test you again soon. Reestablishing who's boss (yes, I said it) will be of benefit to all of you. You're doing great! I hope you have a good weekend and enjoy your October trip.

I think it’s awesome to coach & encourage your kids. But I also think any parent would agree that every child is different and requires different types of discipline depending on the kid. Maturity, energy level, and personality all play a big part in behavior. What works for one child does not work for all children. DH and I will talk about the other parents we know and discuss whether their tactics are something we would do... and we always end the conversation with “but who am I to judge?”

This is so true. No use getting offended at "parenting experts" obtusely deny it - it's actually more laughable than anything. I also snicker at the posts that clutch pearls at the idea of anything, anything - getting in the way of a Disney trip.

 

[Frwinkley]

I commend the OP. She asked them to simply do their chores quickly because many other things needed to happen in order for this trip to take place. She's says they made no effort to comply--that to me is key. This was a family trip, and every member of the family had to cooperate in order to make it happen. I don't think that's asking too much. We parents do everything for our kids....and sometimes that's not necessarily a good thing. I'm sure OP was terribly disappointed, but she put her kids first in that she is trying to teach them a valuable lesson.

Yes, time is fleeting and kids grow up fast (oh so fast). As parents, it's our job to make them respectable adults. I applaud you OP for your decision. As a 3rd grade teacher, I see way too many parents who refuse to stand firm when it comes to their kids.

 

[C&Jx2]

No. I wouldn’t make the whole family suffer... I would find another way to punish them.

 

[C&Jx2]

For us, it's just a few hours on I-75, no big deal. We go several times per year. They aren't missing the trip of a lifetime or anything. We hadn't even booked anything yet. We'll be back in October. This was just a one off. Sucks for me because now I get to "help" someone move tomorrow instead. Kids have to learn they have obligations, in my opinion.

This makes me rethink my first response. For US vacations are a big deal, and we only do one big one a year.

Good for you. I think we’ll be ok. The kids have daily chores. These chores weren’t randomly sprung on them. In fact, they are written on a board clear as day should they have a memory lapse. They simply neglected to do them for days, thinking there was no consequence. Well, there are.

They finished their chores and we are at the lake for the evening. They aren’t going out robbing any banks.

I think punishment should match the crime, and neglecting chores, even for a few days doesn’t warrant that punishment IMO. I support your decision to do so however... But you asked for opinions and that’s mine. Happy cleaning!

 

[kimblebee]

Apparently not all of us, but rest assured many of us have come to a point with our kids where we have to get honest with ourselves. For whatever reason, we've let the requirement that they obey us (whether it's chores or anything else) slide a little over time until it becomes apparent they feel at liberty to not do what they're asked. Drawing a line is never easy and depending on your kids, they may test you again soon. Reestablishing who's boss (yes, I said it) will be of benefit to all of you. You're doing great! I hope you have a good weekend and enjoy your October trip.

This is so true. No use getting offended at "parenting experts" obtusely deny it - it's actually more laughable than anything. I also snicker at the posts that clutch pearls at the idea of anything, anything - getting in the way of a Disney trip.

Yep. According to these boards I am a horrible mom because I only took my daughter to Disney ONCE!!!!

I feel ashamed even writing that out.

 

[J'aime Paris]

Yep. According to these boards I am a horrible mom because I only took my daughter to Disney ONCE!!!!

I feel ashamed even writing that out.

Well..admitting the problem IS the first step....or something to that effect, lol!

Hey, I know families that have never taken their kids....AGHAST!!

 

[cinnaminny]

Yep. According to these boards I am a horrible mom because I only took my daughter to Disney ONCE!!!!

I feel ashamed even writing that out.

How dare you!! lol

 

[Libbysmom2000]

No, and I wouldn't have canceled for kids being kids. Didn't we all balk at doing chores? The alternative sounds like a punishment for your husband and you.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Ever canceled a trip because kids didn't earn it?

No, I never made threats quite that big. But since you did, good for you for sticking to it!

 

[disneychrista]

Yep. According to these boards I am a horrible mom because I only took my daughter to Disney ONCE!!!!

My kids have only been to Disney (World) once and so have I.




We've been to Disneyland more times that I can remember.

 

[mumto3girls]

I don’t know if I would do it—mostly because it would be a punishment for me, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with you doing it. Sometimes kids need a big wake-up call, hopefully yours has the effect you were looking for.

 

[low-key]

My DD has used the POOP excuse before! Kids!

I thought I invented that excuse

 

[georgina]

For us, it's just a few hours on I-75, no big deal. We go several times per year. They aren't missing the trip of a lifetime or anything. We hadn't even booked anything yet. We'll be back in October. This was just a one off. Sucks for me because now I get to "help" someone move tomorrow instead. Kids have to learn they have obligations, in my opinion.

Well you are obviously spoiling them by taking them to Disney World too often.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Dang, did you really cancel a Dis. trip or hypothetical? No chance to redeem? We're going to be new parents and suddenly these sort of topics are interesting to me. I guess canceling a multi day trip if you live out of state and flying in vs. locals on APs would have a different impact (we'd be the former).

I did not cancel a Disney trip since none of my children went to Disney anywhere until the youngest was somewhere around 12.
I did cancel an Outward Bound trip the oldest was dying to go on. He'd already been on a schooner trip with them and the next one was a rock climbing camp trip that he missed due to his inability to follow very basic house rules as he explored how far being a teenager went with me.
From a monetary POV an OB trip was more expensive than a Disney trip at that time.
To my way of thinking the lesson he learned about consequences was invaluable.