Ever canceled a trip because kids didn't earn it?

[bethbuchall]

I have not, but I definitely see your point with the second post. If things had to get done by a certain time to make sure that the trip is possible, then that's what has to happen. We've never done a trip under those circumstances. I guess they didn't care enough about the trip to put in any effort.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Is anything really going to change because you cancelled your trip? Ok, so you cleaned out the garage this weekend. Are the kids all of a sudden going to be neater around the house and whatnot? IME, probably not. So you missed your trip and nothing changed. Seems like a high price to pay without much of a payoff.

At the same time, I agree that threats should be seen through. I just don’t place something that’s so important to me and to the family unit in the line of fire where we’re all going to lose out as a family. A trip, to me, is very special family bonding time.

But, to each his own. I know everyone sees this differently. But honestly the biggest problem I ever had w my kids were some of these housekeeping issues, and once in a while grades w DS, and I counted my blessings that that’s all there was. Today they are both seniors in college and out in the working world already, as well as good people, so I don’t think we were too far off course. (And neither is as neat as I am around the house, nor is DH, so I’m glad I didn’t spend a lot of time giving up trips for that.)

 

[disneychrista]

I can't remember ever cancelling a trip but we did take one without my oldest daughter. The trip was long planned (for Disneyland's 50th) and there was no way I was cancelling the trip because she could no longer go with us, for reasons I won't go into detail about. It sound horrible, I know it does. But all our support at the time gave me the thumbs up to go. She went on many future trips with us as family and on her own/with a boyfriend.

 

[Disneyfan754321]

Im proud of you, now if they had grandparents house they could go to while you are at Disney..lol
No really you are a awsome parent i dont know if i could have done it... but knowing our kids they would wait to the last min and be running through tge house cleaning

 

[easyas123]

Honestly - how refreshing. It's good to see parents following up and really - this will benefit them in the long run.
Thank you from someone who appreciates your parenting approach and not raising an entitled kid to let loose on the world.

I wish the folks in the restaurant last night would follow your lead,

I'll do you one better though - I'd have considered going on the trip without them!

Enjoy your straightened up garage!

 

[easyas123]

Im proud of you, now if they had grandparents house they could go to while you are at Disney..lol
No really you are a awesome parent....

Here Here!

 

[Someluck]

When my kids didn't pick up after themselves after repeated requests, I would pick up and then confiscate any clothes, toys, gadgets, etc. and they would be mine until they showed some effort. I would not have tied a trip I wanted to take to family chores. Chores are everyday on going life lessons,while our family trips were precious time out of our ordinary life. Now they are grown with messy kids of their own to deal with. What goes around...LOL

 

[Monykalyn]

Not cancelled a trip but have cancelled other things-after multiple warnings and no change.
Mostly-if mine didn't get to what they were told it was EXTRA chores-at one point I had the cleanest baseboards and blinds in a 6 county radius . Now it is that AND wifi/data get turned OFF and boy, does that get their attention quick. They have to earn the privilege of getting it back, sometimes it takes days, although that is getting rarer.

 

[cinnaminny]

No. Because WE earned it, even if they didn't.

Right?

Disney is for mama

 

[pahoben]

If I did this with my 7 year old daughters I would hire a food taster for six months to be safe.

Not take them to a movie-yes
Not take them to the playground-yes
Not let them have their iPads-yes
Not let them have their Nintendos-yes
Send them to their room-yes
Not take them to Disney World-no afraid for personal safety

I hope your kids learn from this. Saturday is our day for joint house cleaning. My wife and one twin will not be here so told my other daughter tonight we have a lot of housework to do tomorrow. She pointed out that half our team is gone so I told her we just have twice the usual amount to do.

 

[wgeo]

I agree that follow thru is very important. As a parent if you say something, you better mean it. For us, we've never done last minute trips like that, so we haven't ever canceled a trip. But we've "canceled" going out to dinner once because of the kid's poor choices. In general, I try hard to make the "punishment" fit the crime. So if the hot button issue is not picking things up, for me that would mean losing access to those things. i.e. no more playing with those toys. Or if its leaving dishes laying around then they can only eat at the table etc.

 

[amberpi]

Go mama!

I wouldn’t do this for a longer trip due to dh’s work obligations, but I have taken away local Harry Potter festivals, time with grandparents, trips to the park, etc.

 

[DLgal]

I cancelled a trip to just a REGULAR PARK once when my boys were little because they were misbehaving. That was the only time I ever had to do that. To this day, about 10 years later, you should see the way they shape up and spring into action the second I even MENTION that "we won't go to XYX if..." or "if you don't stop right now, we are going home." I had to pull that one out at the pool the other day. And we go to the pool like 5x/week, so it's not special. They just know that I mean what I say and I will follow through.

They may have a bit of PTSD happening...

 

[Skippy918]

Nope. Too much effort goes into trip planning so I would hesitate to cancel it. For failing to clean rooms thoroughly, they lose electronics until it’s done. For other misbehaving, it’s also lose electronics. They love their electronic time and hate losing it so taking it away really bothers them.

 

[larissawbb]

Can’t they just stay with a Grandma or something?

 

[wilbret]

For us, it's just a few hours on I-75, no big deal. We go several times per year. They aren't missing the trip of a lifetime or anything. We hadn't even booked anything yet. We'll be back in October. This was just a one off. Sucks for me because now I get to "help" someone move tomorrow instead. Kids have to learn they have obligations, in my opinion.

 

[wilbret]

Can’t they just stay with a Grandma or something?

Unfortunately, grandparents wouldn't make it possible. Too much extra driving. We could dump them off on cousins or uncles in Orlando, but they would still get a treat. Don't worry, we will still do something fun this weekend, but they will have to do their part. Thanks for all the feedback. I needed to vent.

 

[Ladyandthepuppies]

Nope. Trips and family time are fleeting. By next week, they'll be grown and the house will be quiet and clean all of the time.

I call no fair in springing a trip today and cleaning expectations today on them without warning.

We coached our kids and encouraged. Not bribed and took away.

And they are fine, upstanding young adults.

I think it’s awesome to coach & encourage your kids. But I also think any parent would agree that every child is different and requires different types of discipline depending on the kid. Maturity, energy level, and personality all play a big part in behavior. What works for one child does not work for all children. DH and I will talk about the other parents we know and discuss whether their tactics are something we would do... and we always end the conversation with “but who am I to judge?”

 

[ShayBells]

I definitely approve of follow through when making threats, but I would never make the threat of taking away a vacation. That is not a hill I would die on, because honestly it would hurt me more than DS. I try to only make threats that will only affect him. I also made a rule. The longer you whine and cry to me about any punishment the longer the punishment is. It’s always an object, game, or tablet being taken. Though a couple times it’s been not being allowed to go to someone’s house, but I usually tell him straight out I won’t send him to some else’s house unless he can act right. If he wasn’t cleaning then it would be more of a we aren’t leaving until you clean. If that was before a vacation than it would be a “I’ll help you and you help me” and that usually works to get him to start cleaning.

 

[disneychrista]

When my kids didn't pick up after themselves after repeated requests, I would pick up and then confiscate any clothes, toys, gadgets, etc. and they would be mine until they showed some effort.

And this is what is called a logical consequence. It works better with younger kids I think though. Sometimes older kids need a BIG punishment to make an impact.