Ever Been Kind of Insulted By a Christmas Gift?

[DisneylandFreak2013]

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[Ensusieasm]

Four years ago I was very impatiently waiting for the then BF to give me an apology ring he had purchased in November. It is a gorgeous ring that I had personally picked out (a whole other story). I thought for sure he would give it to me for Christmas. He was leaving the country for the holiday and left a large gift bag with gifts for everyone (Me and the kids). I waited till Christmas morning To open my gift. I got an electric skillet.

I did finally get the ring. In Feburary. ,

What’s an “apology” ring?

 

[sk!mom]

PP, regift it back to her. Keep it going.

Yaaassss, I’d make it a thing. Fill it with a great thoughtful gift and give it back to her.

 

[disykat]

No, but more so what wasn't given.

Every year, we join my brother's family for Christmas. His kids are all grown with kids of their own, but mine are 20 years younger. Every year, we purchase gifts for the children in the family. Every child gets a present from us, every year for over 18+ years. However, one of his 4 kid's (my kids cousins) seems to always exclude my children from his gift-giving. It's not that they don't give presents or didn't have enough money, it's just that he seems to specifically exclude my children. Never mind that we always purchase his children presents. I've thought about excluding their family one year to make a statement, but could never bring myself to be so hurtful.

They would probably be relieved, not hurt. They need to be more straight forward that they don't want to exchange.

 

[NYCgrrl]

I’m not an easy person to buy gifts for unless you actually listen to me or my older sister who knows my taste just as I know her’s. Take notes if you need to- got a whole year to get it right . That being said I‘ve a lot of built in latitude for others inability to pick up on the “minutiae“ with a few set in stone provisos:

Never buy me red roses; esthetically, I despise them.

Don’t purchase anything for the residence unless specifically requested and give it to me, like you did me some kind of favor. You didn’t decide to spend years with a piece of real estate in need of constant upgrade, now did you? I promise to return the favor.

Money is tight? We’ve all been there so don’t fret. Give me some of that peace and serenity frequently sung about this time of year and never live above your pay grade OR below it (such as anything found on late night TV).

Now that the ground rules have been set just let me stare into your glaucoma blue rimmed eyes and share the wonder of our lives together
Oh and be happy that it’s hard to “insult“ anything but my intelligence, LOL.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

I think context and individual personality really matter. Sometimes you know the person probably meant well and sometimes you just know that they didn't.

This! Usually I am just thankful that someone took the time to give me a gift. But some people enjoy going out of their way to make sure that you know they did not mean well.

No. A gift is gift no matter what. It would be worse if I received nothing at all. Maybe it’s because I had a mother who never liked any gift...even if she asked for it specifically.

There are times when I would much rather have received nothing at all. My MIL often gave me nothing, deliberately, then gave DH extra gifts and extra cards while claiming that everything was just so cute that she couldn't decide what to get, so she decided to give him everything! Then, she would look me straight in the eye and say, "SO, where's MY gift?" (And we always had a nice gift for her, nicely wrapped, and from a nice store.) One year she gave me an opened shipping box with my SIL's writing on it. Apparently, she didn't like SIL's gift to her because the items were inside, unwrapped. And to cap it off, the box also contained some used, dirty tissues -- MIL must have had a cold and used the opened box as a waste basket. DH was so angry that he didn't speak to her for weeks after that. Was this a gift no matter what? I don't think so.

 

[jacki123]

My inlaws were classic odd giftgivers. I was 20 years old, getting married to their son the following year. They got me lingerie. I mean very suggestive lingerie. They said it was really a gift for their son. Yikes. Another christmas they gave me a 4th of July tube top. lol. I miss them and their unique gifts.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

We had a thread on here, years ago, about the bad gifting of a MIL. remember it? LOL

I'm going to say I have not been insulted by a gift, but I have been disappointed. One year, at Christmas, I got a flannel nightgown and a 'muumuu' type robe...from Walmart. That's it...nothing but a little bit of candy (seriously, it was a candy cane, a few Kisses, and a couple of those mini Hershey mix bars) and an orange in my stocking. I was 15, but still... That was it. Two presents to unwrap, that cost my dad maybe $20.

My dad's girlfriend's kids lived with us. The younger ones (elementary school age) got a ton of toys and clothes. All sorts of things that kids enjoy. Stockings bulging with toys and candy. I was happy for them, because, hey, kids and Christmas. The oldest (2 years older than me)...she got a dozen new outfits, and a whole bunch of houseware items (pots n pans, dishes,etc) PLUS she got several records, a record player, money, the usual hair/body type gifts, books, and a lot more, including a bulging stocking of candy and gift cards.

It took a good 4 hours to open gifts. I had to sit there and watch them open all their stuff. My dad said he couldn't do much for me that year, and I understood. But having to sit there watching just broke my heart.

My 16th birthday, I received nothing; same with my 17th. Not even a card. My dad wasn't even around (long haul truck driver) on both, and he didn't even try to call to wish me happy birthday. Those kids birthdays that same time frame (2 in August, one in June) had parties and cakes, and cards and presents, and dad and his gf made the effort to come home in time for their birthdays. (She was with him on the road; the oldest kid...senior in hs/college frosh, me a sopho/junior) raised the younger two for 2 years.)

Insulted, no. Disappointed and bitter, yes.


DH's bday is right before Christmas; his siblings would get gifts on his bday so they wouldn't be jealous; and his bday gifts counted as part of his Christmas gifts. His sister's bday is in August, and her bday gift was always school clothes.

 

[Princess Mulan]

This! Usually I am just thankful that someone took the time to give me a gift. But some people enjoy going out of their way to make sure that you know they did not mean well.


There are times when I would much rather have received nothing at all. My MIL often gave me nothing, deliberately, then gave DH extra gifts and extra cards while claiming that everything was just so cute that she couldn't decide what to get, so she decided to give him everything! Then, she would look me straight in the eye and say, "SO, where's MY gift?" (And we always had a nice gift for her, nicely wrapped, and from a nice store.) One year she gave me an opened shipping box with my SIL's writing on it. Apparently, she didn't like SIL's gift to her because the items were inside, unwrapped. And to cap it off, the box also contained some used, dirty tissues -- MIL must have had a cold and used the opened box as a waste basket. DH was so angry that he didn't speak to her for weeks after that. Was this a gift no matter what? I don't think so.

Yikes! And yuck! I don’t think I could ever open another “gift” from her after that!

 

[theluckyrabbit]

Yikes! And yuck! I don’t think I could ever open another “gift” from her after that!

I think she wanted to start WWIII and was rather disappointed when that didn't happen. We kept giving her nice gifts for all the appropriate occasions, and she kept trying to start fights. Oh well...

 

[hertamaniac]

One year, my wife gave me a bottle of wine saying it was from our dog. It was called "Fat Bastard".

 

[happily single]

What’s an “apology” ring?

He used some pretty bad judgment. To apologize I decided he needed to hurt his wallet.

 

[White Cat]

He used some pretty bad judgment. To apologize I decided he needed to hurt his wallet.

With that attitude best thing he could have done was run.

 

[maxaroni]

My MIL one year sent flowers to me for my birthday, very nice. However, it was after my birthday and seemed more of an after thought. At first, I thought it was due to her forgetting the actual date, until comments were made to suggest otherwise. Okay whatever. She didn’t have a lot of money so just accepted it as it is what it is and not the hill to die on, despite these sort of things happening in the past. DH birthday comes along that year of the flowers and DH gets an expensive gift, one that she gave us the receipt as she thought it should be insured. At that point, I was hurt that it was just smack in my face that the flowers were more of an after thought.

I did not say anything to my DH but he saw it in my face. He then spoke to his mom saying he loved his gift but in the future, please try and make it more equal between the 2 of us. After that, I have to say, my MIL was more conscious of her gifts.

I wasn’t looking for an even steven type thing, just not so blatantly in my face that I was the inlaw.

 

[Donald13]

With that attitude best thing he could have done was run.

Seriously. I have nothing nice to say about it

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

He used some pretty bad judgment. To apologize I decided he needed to hurt his wallet.

I think it was good for him to wait until another time for that ring. That wouldn’t be a good Christmas gift.

My cousin told us of the time he messed up and then took his girlfriend out to eat. He didn’t have much money,really, and she ordered steak and lobster, and he ordered salad. They have been married almost 25 years now.

 

[EACarlson]

My mom retired in 1985, and when she passed away in 2013 and we cleaned out her house we found another mammary implant box (filled with extra kitchen counter tiles) and dozens of surgical sponges... which my mom called "blood soppers" that we kept. They are basically just cloth towels, but once they opened the sterile package, they had to be tossed out if not used. They make great towels to wash the cars with. And they have a little strip on them so that if one accidentally gets left in a patient, the strip shows up on xrays.

I have two large garbage bags in my basement full of these, and a garbage can full of AA batteries. My FIL was a surgical nurse for 30 years. They would have to put batteries in the machines to wheel the patient from pre-op into the OR, they got used for two or three minutes and then had to be thrown out. He started grabbing these at the end of the day along with the surgical sponges. I use the sponges for anything that requires more structure than a paper towel but want to throw away after I'm done. For the 12 years I've been part of the family every gift giving occasion includes some AA batteries and surgical sponges. In addition to thoughtful and useful gifts.

 

[tvguy]

I have two large garbage bags in my basement full of these, and a garbage can full of AA batteries. My FIL was a surgical nurse for 30 years. They would have to put batteries in the machines to wheel the patient from pre-op into the OR, they got used for two or three minutes and then had to be thrown out. He started grabbing these at the end of the day along with the surgical sponges. I use the sponges for anything that requires more structure than a paper towel but want to throw away after I'm done. For the 12 years I've been part of the family every gift giving occasion includes some AA batteries and surgical sponges. In addition to thoughtful and useful gifts.

I forgot about the cauterizers my mom used to bring home. Once the sterile seal was broken, they had to be tossed. She brought those home, broke the plastic case open, and 2 AA batteries inside. And let's not forget IV tubing. When a bush or tree needed to be tied up, IV tubing was perfect.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

Yes! My MIL is the queen of just can't control herself when giving a gift.
It's always crap, literally garage sale stuff, nothing of any relevance to you life/home/hobbies, just completely random whatnot's from where ever.

She used to work at a grocery store and would hoard the clearance going to salvage left overs that the store would let the employees pick through before they went to the final trash.
And then she just can't control herself blabbing all about how she got it for free, or got it from work, or got it from a yard sale immediately after you open it.

A few years ago I told her, I'm really trying to have less things in my house, clear more clutter out and lets just not worry about gifts anymore, they still went on for about another year and I just made it real clear, stop bringing things to my house.

 

[Snowysmom]

My father had a live in girlfriend who did not really care for his kids, meaning me, my family, and also my brother. I was pretty heavy at that time and she bought me a bathrobe. I got home, opened the gift, and could practically fit the entire family in the bathrobe. I got the hint that she thought I was huge. She did this a few more times with clothing items. My father had her buy gifts for my kids and it was just cheap sweat pants that fell apart after one wearing. He gave her the money to guy the gifts. She bought her grandchildren designer jeans. I just decided to ignore her and the gifts. I would be cordial to her but that was it.